Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 2: Turning Down a Date
• Method 2 of 2: How to refuse after a few meetings
• Tips
• Warnings

The hardest part of dating is telling someone that you don't want to go out with them.It doesn't matter if he's calling you for the first time or you've already had several meetings, chances are you will be embarrassed to say that you are not interested in him. However, you have the right to act in your best interests, so be sincere and be direct about your feelings.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Turning Down a Date

1. 1 Tell the person that you appreciate their offer or attention. This may alleviate the pain of rejection a little. It is not necessary to deliver detailed and flowery speech. One sentence is enough to express your gratitude.
   • Say, "Thank you for the compliment on my outfit," or, "This is a really nice suggestion."
   • You don't have to thank the person if they make you uncomfortable. There is no need to pretend that his behavior is acceptable.
2. 2 Provide a sincere and understandable refusal. You may be tempted to describe your feelings vaguely so as not to hurt the person. But in the long run, this will only make matters worse. This will not only mislead him, but you will most likely have to deny him again in the future.
   • You can say, "I don't like you romantically," or, "I'm not attracted to this."
3. 3 Don't apologize for turning someone down. You don't have to apologize to anyone for your feelings. In addition, it will seem like you feel sorry for the person, which will hurt him even more.
   • Instead of saying, "Sorry, I'm not interested in this," just say, "I'm not interested in dinner, but I really appreciate your offer."
4. 4 Don't try to force the person to be friends with you. If one of your friends has feelings for you, it will be difficult to let go of that friendship. Sometimes we really want to be friends with someone who isn't romantically attracted to us. However, this can be cruel to the person. Let him decide what is best for his life, just as you decide what is best for you.
   • You can say, "I hope we can still be friends, but I will understand if you need personal space."
5. 5 Save excuses for rejecting a stranger. Of course, it's best not to make excuses, but excuses can be helpful if you've just met a person. But keep in mind that this is how you run the risk of being caught in a lie. If you are going to use an excuse, choose an undeniable option and end the conversation as soon as you speak up.
   • For example, if a stranger in a public place asks you out on a date, you might think of an excuse to make it easier to get out of the situation. However, if you have mutual acquaintances with the person, the excuse may come back to haunt you if he talks with friends. It is generally best to be straightforward.
   • Typical excuses include “I'm not ready to date anyone right now,” “I have a boyfriend / girlfriend,” “My schedule is too tight right now,” or “I just went through a breakup.”

Method 2 of 2: How to refuse after a few meetings

1. 1 Plan your speech in advance if possible. A thoughtful response will help you reject the person in a gracious manner. Determine for what reasons you don't want to be with him, and then focus on the most important moment. Think about how you can say this to the person as kindly as possible.
   • For example, you may not be physically attracted to him. It will be ugly to list everything that you do not like about it. Better try to say, "I just don't feel chemistry between us," or, "There is no spark between us."
   • Or maybe you think he talks too much. In this case, you can say: "It seems to me that we speak different languages."
2. 2 Start your conversation with a compliment. Nice words can relieve the pain of rejection, but don't praise the person for too long. After all, then he will probably ask why you do not want to continue dating him. Plus, your words will sound empty if you reject the person after you say how great you think they are.
   • Give a one-sentence compliment, such as, "You planned such a funny first date," or, "I really enjoyed discussing films with you because you are so perceptive."
3. 3 Thank him for past meetings. Doing so will give credit to the time the person took to get to know you. This will show him that you are thinking about his feelings, even though your words are likely to hurt him.
   • For example, you might say, “Thanks for the last few dates. It was a pleasure for me to get to know you better. "
4. 4 Say it doesn't suit you. Provide specific reasons for refusal, if desired. If the person did not resonate with you in your soul, just say so. However, if you've gone on a couple of dates, it might be nice to provide a clearer reason.
   • Say, “Even though I had fun, I don't see a future for this relationship. It seems to me that we pursue different goals and go through life in different ways. "
5. 5 Listen person if he does not agree with you, but stand your ground. Perhaps his opinion is different from yours, and this is normal. Be kind and let him share his thoughts on the matter, but don't agree to go on with the relationship if you don't want to. It is better to acknowledge his feelings, but repeat your intention to stop everything.
   • For example, you might say, "I understand why you think we should meet again, but it doesn't suit me."
6. 6 Don't list all the reasons why you don't want to date him. Being honest doesn't mean being harsh. More often than not, there is no reason to tell the person what you don't like about them. So he will only more painfully perceive the refusal.
   • You may feel that if you name the reason for the breakup, it will help the person to become better. However, keep in mind that you have no right to tell someone how they should be. In addition, everyone has their own preferences, and what annoys you probably attracts someone else.

Tips

• Expressing your feelings directly is not easy, but lying or avoiding the person will not help you. Most likely, this will lead to the fact that you have to refuse over and over again (which will be frustrating for both sides).
• Never ignore a person with whom you have already made plans. If you change your mind and don't want to go out with him, just tell the truth.
• Don't gossip about the person or publicize the rejection.
• Consider the other person's feelings when you decide to move on after you rejected them. Despite your sincere desire to be friends, you should understand that this may not be the best option for him, especially if he continues to hope that you will change your mind.

Warnings

• It is always difficult and painful to make the decision to break up. However, it’s ugly to push someone to want to break up with you so that you don’t have to do it yourself.