Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Talk to your partner
• Part 2 of 3: Talk to your parents
• Part 3 of 3: Argument Your Point of View
• Tips

For most people, it is important that parents approve of their relationship. Some parents may show concern if your partner turns out to be of a different race. Your decision upsets or confuses them, although often such cases are just examples of narrow-mindedness and prejudice. Before talking with parents, you should talk to your partner and friends to get their opinion on this. Then choose the right time and place to calmly talk to your parents about your partner. Try to anticipate possible questions, be honest about your feelings and relationships, and stay calm.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Talk to your partner

1. 1 Share your concerns with your partner. If you find it difficult to tune in to a conversation with your parents about interracial relationships, or you foresee a number of problems, then tell your partner about it. If a person has already found himself in a similar situation, then he can always give advice.
   • For example, say, “I'm worried about what my parents will think of us” or “I wonder if my parents might be upset about us dating.”
   • Tell your partner that your love and affection does not depend on the words and decisions of your parents. Say, "I will not let my parents' opinions affect how they feel about you."
   • Don't think that your partner thinks that you are blaming him for your marital problems. Be sure to talk to him. If he loves and respects you, then he will definitely appreciate the sincerity and openness even regarding such a difficult issue.
2. 2 Analyze your previous experience to help you choose the right approach for talking to your parents. It is possible that interracial relationships are not to your liking, not just your parents. If friends also ask questions or express concerns about the relationship, consider how this turned out. Have you been waiting for your friends to start such a conversation themselves? Directly asked what they think?
   • You can also use the experience of your friends or partner to strategize with your parents. Find out how they dealt with a similar problem.For example, ask your friends, “Was it difficult for you to tell your parents about interracial relationships?”
   • Also consider what you already know about your parents' views and why they might be opposed to the relationship. For example, a parent might have a friend whose relationship with a partner of a different race was unfortunate. Thoughts about dislike can be rooted in the experience of a familiar person.
3. 3 Assess your feelings. Sometimes people perceive the awkwardness of others only because they themselves cannot get used to the idea of ​​interracial relationships. Talk to a trusted friend, relative, therapist, or priest to accurately gauge your feelings and comfort level. If it is convenient for you to discuss these issues with your partner, talk including (or only) with him.
   • For example, ask a friend, "How do you know that this is your person?" or “It seems to me that we are not suitable for each other. Did you experience similar feelings? ” Listen carefully to the answer.
   • Ask additional questions such as “Do you think this sensation will soon pass?”

Part 2 of 3: Talk to your parents

1. 1 Choose the right time. It will be easier for your parents to talk to you about interracial relationships if everyone is calm. Choose a free moment when it will be convenient for your parents and you to talk about such a serious topic.
   • It is best to schedule the conversation for a weekend or evening.
   • Do not start a conversation while your parents are busy with work or watching a TV program. It is also better not to start long conversations on any topic in the morning, as all of you are probably in a hurry to have breakfast, take a shower and get ready for school or work.
   • Do not bring up the issue of interracial relations immediately after provocative remarks from parents about representatives of a different race or after being insulted by them.
2. 2 Choose a secluded spot. For private conversations, choose a place where you can speak openly. If you talk in a public place, then you risk not getting a direct answer. It is usually best to discuss this issue at home after everyone has returned from work and school.
   • If there is no way to talk face to face, then call at a time when the parents are at home. Ask directly so you know when to call. Focus on the evening time from 19:00 to 21:00.
3. 3 Highlight the good qualities of your partner. In conversation, parents should only think about how healthy the relationship is and how joyful it is. Tell your parents about all the good qualities of a partner. How does he show his love? What do you like most about him?
   • For example, say, “I really love him. He is generous and always ready to help. "
   • You can also add: “It's just great with him, because he's so smart. He always tells me new interesting facts ”.
   • If your partner gave you a good gift, show it to your parents and say, “Just look what I got from him as a gift. I love".
   • Seeing that you love each other will make your parents happy and less worried.
4. 4 Ask questions. Try to clarify your parents' views on race and race relations to better understand their position. Remember to show patience and respect. Ask the following:
   • What do you think of other races and interracial relationships?
   • What prompted you to think like this?
   • Is it related to a specific story or events?
   • What needs to happen for you to change your perspective on these issues?
5. 5 Prepare to answer questions. Explain to your parents that race is irrelevant in a loving and supportive relationship. In any case, actively listen to your parents, nod, and maintain eye contact. As you prepare for a conversation, consider specific aspects that might be a cause for concern. Answer questions calmly. They can sound offensive as they are caused by ignorance and fear.Among other things, parents may ask the following:
   • How are you going to raise your children?
   • Isn't a relationship with a member of a different race associated with a lot of problems?
   • Are you not worried about what others will think?
6. 6 Don't hide interracial relationships from your parents. A healthy relationship based on mutual love and care should create joy and pride. When entering into a relationship, do not hide it from your parents or from anyone else.
   • If you hide the relationship from your parents, then they can learn about it from other people and get offended.
   • Also, do not tell your partner that you told your parents about him, if such a conversation has not already happened.

Part 3 of 3: Argument Your Point of View

1. 1 Explain yourself. It is important that parents know how you feel about their point of view. If they disapprove of interracial relationships, say, "I wish you were less prejudiced."
   • Some parents may have legitimate concerns about your cultural compatibility with your partner. Listen carefully to your parents and give a thoughtful answer.
   • Promise your parents to reflect on their arguments. Say, “Thank you for giving your opinion. I appreciate your sincerity and I will think well over your words. "
   • Remind you that there are difficulties in any relationship, and you and your partner love each other and are ready to solve the problems that arise.
   • Remind intolerant parents of all the good things about your partner. So, say the following: “He is very dear to me. Race does not define a person, it’s a pity you don’t understand that. ”
2. 2 Keep calm. Avoid outbursts of emotion. Anger or upset is a completely normal reaction if your parents don't accept your interracial relationship. Nevertheless, the discussion should proceed correctly. Please be patient and avoid scolding, screaming and anger.
   • If you feel your emotions are heating up, inhale slowly through your nose for three seconds and then exhale through your mouth for five seconds. This simple breathing exercise will help you relax.
   • Sometimes it’s better to just endure and let your parents “digest” the information you hear. Find an excuse and politely end the conversation if it doesn't work. You can always come back to this question later. Say, “Sorry, but let's take a break for now. We may be able to continue the conversation later. ”
3. 3 Don't let your parents make you feel guilty. They may ask, "What will people think when they find out about your interracial relationship?" Also, parents may argue that you should only date members of your own race, and now you are making a big mistake. Don't accept these innuendos and outdated views. Remind us that the world is full of wonderful people of all races. Explain that when choosing a partner, only his actions and attitude towards you matter.
   • For example, say, “I know and love him well, and he treats me well. It's really important, as opposed to his race. ”
   • Don't let your parents use someone else's (or their own) opinion as an argument to make you feel guilty. If they are ashamed and worried that friends or neighbors will not accept your relationship, then offer to get rid of these “friends”.
   • Explain to your parents that your relationship is not rebellious and is not intended to hurt them. Say, “My relationship is only meant to please me and my partner. This is not an attempt to disrespect you. ”

Tips

• It is illogical to define the value of a relationship or to characterize a person by race. Never give in to pressure from friends or parents or end a relationship just because your partner is of a different race.