Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 2: Preparing for a Conversation
• Method 2 of 2: Conversation
• Tips
• Warnings

Telling your parents that you are pregnant can be as scary as the pregnancy itself. Once you find out that you are pregnant, you may think that you are too overwhelmed to think about how to tell your parents about it. But if you follow these steps, you can prepare to speak openly and honestly with your parents - and understand what needs to be done next.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Preparing for a Conversation

1. 1 Prepare what you say. While your parents will be overwhelmed by your news anyway, you can reduce stress by sounding as clear and mature as possible when you speak to them. Here are some things to think about:
   • Prepare an introductory phrase. Don't scare your parents with "I have really bad news for you." Instead, say, "I need to talk to you about something very difficult."
   • Prepare to explain your pregnancy. Do they know that you are sexually active or even that you have a boyfriend?
   • Prepare to share your emotions. Although you will be upset and it will be difficult to speak, you should hold back your tears for the rest of the conversation, when you can no longer hold back them. You should tell them that you are in shock, and you apologize for disappointing them (if this is the case), that you are going through the most difficult stage in life, and that you need their help.
   • Prepare for any questions. Your parents will have many questions for you, so it's best to prepare ahead of time.
2. 2 Expect how your parents will react. Once you've learned how to best express your emotions and what to say, you need to think about how your parents will react. This will depend on many factors, including how they have responded to news in the past, whether it will shock them to be sexually active, and what their values ​​are. Here are some factors to consider:
   • Did they know you were sexually active? Whether you've had sex for months or even years and they didn't even know it, they'll be more surprised than if they suspected, or even if they knew you were having sex.
   • What are their values? Are they liberal about sex before marriage, or do they think that you should never have sex before marriage or engagement?
   • How have they responded to bad news in the past? While it’s unlikely that you have discussed such burning issues with them in the past, you need to consider how they have responded to bad news in the past. How did they react when you missed an exam or scratched their car?
   • If your parents have ever reacted violently, you shouldn't talk to them in private. Find a trusted relative who can join you, or even bring your parents to the doctor to tell them about it.
   • You can even rehearse a conversation with a close friend. If you are pregnant, then most likely you have already told your best friend about this, and she can not only predict your parents' reaction, but also rehearse the conversation with you so that it is easier for you to imagine how your parents might react.
3. 3 Choose the right time to talk. While it's important not to delay this news, it's also worth picking a good day and time to make your parents as receptive as possible. Here are some things to think about:
   • Don't be dramatic. If you say, "I want to tell you something incredibly important. When can we talk?" Then your parents are more likely to want to talk here and now, and you may not be ready for it. Instead, try to be as calm as possible when you say, "I want to talk to you about something. When will you have time?"
   • Choose a time when your parents can give you their full attention. Pick a time when both of your parents are at home, and when they are not planning on leaving for dinner, picking up your brother from training, or hosting guests. They should be completely free after the conversation so that they have time to digest everything.
   • Choose a time when your parents are not stressed. If your parents are usually stressed or tired when they come home, wait until they have dinner, relax a little to talk. If they are stressed all week, talk to them over the weekend. Saturday is better than Sunday, as they will be thinking about the work week on Sunday evening.
   • Choose the time that suits you. While you should choose the most appropriate time for your parents, be aware of your own feelings. Pick a time when you are not too tired after a long week at school and are not worried about tomorrow's serious exam.
   • If you want someone else to be with you, choose a time that works for that person as well. If you want your partner to be with you, this is a very important decision, and you need to be sure that this will make the situation more comfortable, not unpleasant.
   • Don't put off the conversation for a long time. Getting the right timing will help the conversation go as smoothly as possible, but putting off the conversation for weeks because everyone is busy or stressed will only make things worse.

Method 2 of 2: Conversation

1. 1 Tell them your news. This is the hardest part of the plan. Although you have prepared yourself for what you will speak, you know what their reaction will be, and although you have chosen the best time to talk, this will be one of the most difficult conversations in your life.
   • Relax. You have already played this conversation a thousand times in your head. But you need to understand that you are assuming, most likely, the worst case scenario. Stop it. The likelihood that your parents will react better than you expect is a hundred times greater. If you relax, it will only become easier for you.
   • Make your parents comfortable. While you are unlikely to get a little chat, you can smile, ask how they are doing, and support them with a pat on the hand before you announce the news.
   • Say, "I have something difficult to tell you. I'm pregnant." Say it clearly and with maximum strength in your voice.
   • Maintain eye contact and open body language. Look as open as possible when you announce the news to them.
   • Tell them how you feel. They are likely to be so shocked that they will not react right away. Tell them how you feel about pregnancy. Remind them that it is very difficult for you.
2. 2 Listen to them. Now that you've told them your news, they'll have a strong reaction. Whether they are angry, emotional, confused, resentful, or have a lot of questions, it will take a while for them to calm down. Take your time and listen to their opinions without interrupting.
   • Calm them down.Although they are adults, they just got some bad news and you need to be strong for them.
   • Answer their questions. If you are ready, then you should answer their questions as honestly and calmly as possible.
   • Ask them how they feel. If there is silence, give them some time to collect their thoughts, and then ask how they are feeling. If they don't share their feelings after you've shared yours, it will be difficult to continue this conversation.
   • Don't be angry if they get angry. Remember, they just heard about the news that will change their lives.
3. 3 Discuss the next steps. Once you've announced your news, and your parents have discussed your feelings and yours, it's time to start thinking about how to proceed with your pregnancy. If opinions differ, and this may well happen, then the situation will become more complicated. And remember that you will feel relieved as soon as you share the news and can tackle this problem together.
   • It may be that you are unable to discuss the next steps immediately after the conversation. Your parents may need some time to cool off, and all of you may need some time to cope with your emotions.
   • Remember that while this crisis is the most difficult situation you will ever face, you and your family will come together to work together to solve this problem.

Tips

• Remember, your parents must love no matter what happens. Although the conversation will be incredibly difficult, in the end your bond will only grow stronger.
• If you actually want your partner to be with you during the conversation, make sure your parents have already met him and know that he exists. If you bring a stranger, then this will only become an obstacle, which in this situation your parents do not need.

Warnings

• If your parents have been violent in the past, don't tell them the news in private. Go to the doctor's appointment with them.
• If you are not sure if you want to leave the child, try to have the conversation as early as possible to determine what to do next. The longer you wait to have an abortion, the greater the risk of complications.