Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Telling Mom About Your First Boyfriend
• Method 2 of 3: Dealing with a delicate situation
• Method 3 of 3: Dealing with disapproval

Have you decided to tell your mom that you have a boyfriend? Well, it can get her upset, and it can be awkward and delicate for many reasons: this is your first boyfriend, he doesn't live up to mom's expectations, or he is of the same gender (if you confess to your mom that you are gay). Even if she is angry or explains why you shouldn't date him, remember that she just wishes you well. Do not close, listen to her arguments and ask for advice. Say that you value her experience and wisdom, and prove that you are intelligent and responsible enough to make relationship decisions.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Telling Mom About Your First Boyfriend

1. 1 Tell your mom that you are dating a boyfriend when she is in a good mood. Choose the most convenient time to announce the news. Don't start a conversation when she's just got home from work or is busy doing something else. You need her to give you her full attention and be ready to listen to you. At the same time, try to get the news out in a timely manner, but not too hasty.
   • You should not hide your first relationship for weeks or months, but at the same time you should not sharply declare with the chosen one and say: "Hello, mom, meet me, this is my new boyfriend!" First, talk privately.
   • It would be unwise to break the news if you recently did something that made your mom anxious. If you've just done something irresponsible or childish, or just gotten into trouble, she'll probably think you're not ripe for a relationship yet.
2. 2 Tell us about it in private. If you live with both parents, but decide that at first it will be more convenient for you to talk only to your mom, choose a time when your dad is not at home. Capture the moment when he will be at work or leave for a few hours on business. Alternatively, go with your mom for a coffee or lunch outside the home.
   • It is generally best to tell both parents at once, but in many situations it is easier to talk to your mom first.
   • When it comes to early relationships, fathers are often even more protective. At the same time, some fathers find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that their child is of non-traditional sexual orientation, and someone is less tolerant of the fact that a representative of another race or religion has become the chosen one.
3. 3 Practice by writing your speech. Think about what you want to say and how to mature it. Focus on being clear, direct and honest (you don't want to get confused or start moaning). Consider writing down the main points, especially if you are afraid to get lost in thought or get lost in words.
   • Sure, thinking and practicing by writing down your thoughts is a great idea, but you should definitely break the news in person.
   • Here is an example of a thesis speech: “Mom, I think we have a close relationship, and I don’t want to hide anything from you. A few days ago, my friend Dima invited me to become his girlfriend, and I agreed. We study in the same parallel, and he is really a very nice and smart guy. "
   • Jot down some arguments in case your mom's reaction isn't what you want it to be. Say, “I assumed you thought I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet, but I would like to point out that I have become a truly mature person. I am actively involved in school life, I have good grades, and I do my chores around the house before you have to be reminded of it. I don't think we will get married or anything else, but it seems to me that I am ready for a relationship with the first boy, and I certainly want to discuss your terms and ask for advice. "
4. 4 Focus on the positives. Don't start with a negative conversation, especially if your parents want you to date a certain type of person or if they have other strict criteria. Don't start off like this: "Well, he's a really hot guy, but he gets punished all the time in school and has terrible grades!" Concentrate on both your own and his positive qualities.
   • Are you a good student yourself? Are you a class leader or a leader in extracurricular activities? How else is your maturity or responsibility expressed?
   • These are the qualities that parents will want to see in you before you have a boyfriend, so be sure to be diligent in your studies, do the housework, and show how conscientious and reliable you are.
   • Likewise, try to say as many positive things as possible about your boyfriend. Show your mom that she can trust your opinion. Try to tell her about his nice actions towards you, how good he is, how talented and many other good things about him.
   • Taking into account its positive traits, you will also be doing a favor to yourself, as you will be able to understand whether it is worth wasting your time on it. If you can't list your boyfriend's many good qualities to your mom, chances are he's not a great game.
5. 5 Have a photo or social media profile handy. Unless your mom is totally against having a boyfriend, she will probably want to know more about him. Be prepared to showcase a photo of him so she has an idea of ​​his appearance, or show him a profile on social media so that she knows a little more information about him.
   • Remember: don't just think that the news will make your mom mad, especially if you are not a problem teenager or are already on the verge of adolescence. Perhaps she will be delighted and want to share the joy with you!
   • While it's okay to be shy and want to keep your privacy private, in most cases, you should share information about a guy with your parents.
6. 6 Don't keep it a secret. Remember that your mom was once young too, and don't just assume she will react negatively. Your parents will always find out what you are hiding from them, so it is not a good idea to keep it secret. Be sure to honestly answer any questions about your boyfriend.
   • If you want to show your mom that you are mature enough to date a boyfriend, you need to earn her trust. Secrets will only undermine the trust between you.
   • Don't lie about when you started dating. Try to be honest about as many details as possible. You do not want to fall for lies in the future, for example, when you have an anniversary.

Method 2 of 3: Dealing with a delicate situation

1. 1 Admit to your mom that you are gay. If you are gay, have a boyfriend and want to tell your mom about him, do it when you're ready. No one has the right to force you to come out if you are not ready for it. And while it can be a great experience and help get the mountain off your shoulders, it's okay to be nervous, especially if you're not sure what your mom's reaction will be.
   • Don't let your guy pressure you into coming out. The most important aspect of coming out is when you feel ready.
   • If you are ready, do it calmly, as well as directly, honestly, and openly. Tell your mom that you have a boyfriend and that he is very dear to you. Add that you understand that sexual orientation may change, but at the moment you are definitely attracted to him.
   • Be patient while your mom digests the news, especially if she didn't expect to hear that you have a boyfriend. Say, “I know this takes some getting used to and that it takes time to think about it. Believe me, I did not immediately accept this either, so I understand everything! "
2. 2 Think about when coming out is not a good idea. Sometimes you shouldn't show all your cards. Consider how parents react to the topic of homosexuality in the news, for example when it comes to gay marriage or bullying. If your parents' attitude is extremely negative, you may want to refrain from confessing. Also, do not open up if you are financially dependent on your parents and there is a high probability that they will kick you out of the house or stop paying for tuition.
   • If you think your mom is generally more supportive and you want to tell her everything, talk to her about how and when to confess to your dad or other family members.
3. 3 Tell your mom what is yours a guy of a different race or religion. As the world grows closer and more interconnected, relationships increasingly cross the boundaries of race, religion, and tradition. Try to explain this fact if your mom or both parents expect your boyfriend to be of a particular race, religion, or culture.
   • Try not to keep your intercultural relationships a secret, whether you are a teenager or an adult. What if, after a few years, you and your boyfriend decide to get engaged? What's more, don't add negativity by making your mom think she can't trust you or your boyfriend.
   • Don't use your boyfriend as a tool to rebel against your own culture. This is unfair to him, and you will end up having to hide the tension that your traditions may cause.
   • Be sympathetic and patient when telling your mom about intercultural relationships. Give your mom time to process the information, and let her doubt instead of forcing her to approve.
4. 4 Consider holding back if you feel unpleasant consequences ahead of time. Just as with coming out, keep in mind the times when you bring news about intercultural relations that your mom may not approve of. While it's often best to be honest, if you're worried about your safety and your boyfriend's safety, or think your family will reject you, it's best to hold back the news.
   • Try to find a balance between your anxiety and faith in your mom. Try to gauge her reaction to friends or family members in a similar situation.
   • If you think Mom could accept the situation but Dad could not, ask her for advice on how to present the news to Dad.
   • If you are in a relationship with someone who treats you well and makes you happy, don't let your mom or dad force you to separate. Make it clear to your mom that the world has become more interconnected and that now there are no boundaries for loving hearts.
5. 5 Admit to your mom that your boyfriend had a questionable past, but he has changed. The situation can be delicate if you've returned to your ex, or if there are moments in your boyfriend's biography that you don't want to tell your mom about. If you're trying to convince her that he has changed, try to be objective and provide facts. If she criticizes a guy, don't criticize her back, just explain how his actions prove that he really is different.
   • Try saying, “I know you think Igor is a loser, but since the moment we broke up, there have been several positive changes in him. He got a good job and has already lasted more than six months. He has an apartment and is saving money for a new car. He told me that he wants to get down to my mind, so I'm thinking about going back to him. "
   • If you are still a young age and you know that your mom will not approve of certain things about your boyfriend, consider all aspects of the situation. If you've only been dating for a couple of weeks and you’re sure it’s not going to lead to anything serious, you probably shouldn’t tell your mom that from time to time you see a guy who has eight punctures on his body and his entire arm is tattoos.
   • Remember that your mother wants only the best for you. If she disapproves of your boyfriend, consider if she has a reason.You might really be better off not going back to your ex or breaking up with a guy who has too much luggage on your back. By trusting your mom's instinct now, you can relieve yourself of a broken heart in the future.

Method 3 of 3: Dealing with disapproval

1. 1 Give her time to process the news. Be patient after telling your mom about your new boyfriend, coming out, or admitting that your partner might not be up to her expectations. You shouldn't bombard her with the news, and then get up and leave: wait for her to answer and express her opinion.
   • If she says she needs a moment to think, be sure to leave her alone if necessary.
   • Show that you are willing to compromise and want to make it easier for her to come to terms with your relationship, for example, listen to her terms. If she is worried or doubts, ask on what conditions you can see him and if you can be alone.
2. 2 Tell her that you value her opinion and experience. Show that her experience and wisdom are important to you. Explain that you want her to believe in these things and that you appreciate her advice, which is why you told her about the guy. Explain that you are growing and that it is natural to want a boyfriend.
   • Ask about her own experiences in dating, sex, health, and other relationship matters.
   • Do not save up all the details of your personal life for one life-changing conversation.
   • Do your best to discover ways of communicating freely between you and your mom, both before and after talking about your boyfriend.
   • Explain that honesty and the ability to trust each other are vital to you. Try to break the ice and work on having open, unbiased conversations on a regular basis.
3. 3 Try not to swear over this. If your mom gets angry, don't turn it into a scandal. Remember that she seeks to protect you and only wants the best for you. If she doesn’t react the way you expected, you should stay calm and think before speaking.
   • Maybe. She has reason to disapprove. Maybe you are really too young for a relationship, or he is not the best party. Remember that mom has more life experiences than you.
   • If you are young or adolescent and truly convinced that you are ready for a relationship, then your goal is to prove to your mom that you are mature enough to make your own decisions.
4. 4 Accept her answer even if she said no. If you get angry about the fact that she forbade you to date your boyfriend, you will only prove that you are not ready for a relationship yet. Respect her parenting methods. Remember that she just wants to keep you safe.
   • By responding in an understanding and calm manner, you will show your level of maturity. If she can see that you have grown and become more mature, she will eventually change her mind.
5. 5 Try to understand her position if she says no. Show your mom that you value her point of view and want to get to know her better. Try not to ask questions just to do it your way, but demonstrate that you understand and agree with your mom.
   • If she thinks you're too young, try saying, “What do you think is the right age? How old were you? Do you feel that the age to start a relationship is different now than it was when you were young? "
   • If she just doesn't approve of the guy himself, ask why. Remember, Mom is usually the only person in the world who acts in your best interests. Ask: “Why do you think he doesn't suit me? Have you dated someone like him and have had negative experiences? "