Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Romance
• Method 2 of 3: Friendship
• Method 3 of 3: Working relationships
• Tips

Being persistent in a relationship is difficult, but possible. Problems happen in relationships with a wide variety of people, including a romantic partner, friends, and coworkers. Define your beliefs and views, accept their validity, and start actively expressing your opinions to be persistent in all kinds of relationships.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Romance

1. 1 Start small. If big changes scare you, start small. Don't change everything in one go, but be more persistent with each step. This is the only way to avoid problems and disagreements with the partners.
   • For example, voice your wishes more often when choosing a restaurant. Don't let your partner decide everything for you. Instead of tacit consent, suggest establishments with the kind of cuisine you like.
2. 2 Accept the validity of your relationship views. Sometimes in romantic relationships, we move away from persistence out of fear of losing our partner. This is not a reason to think that your opinion means nothing. Each of your emotions has a right to life, and your partner should be ready to discuss any aspect of the relationship.
   • Build faith in yourself by expanding important aspects of life and relationships. If you have an opinion or attitude to the situation, then convince yourself of the validity of such an opinion. Your feelings and thoughts have every right to life, even if you don't always say them out loud. Over time, it will become easier for you to accept them and communicate them to your partner.
   • If you have anxiety or desire to express emotions about a relationship, then say to yourself the following encouraging words: "My opinion is valid. If my partner loves me, then my opinion will not affect this fact."
   • If your partner does not accept your opinion or emotions about the relationship, then you need to reconsider the nature of communication and build an equal relationship without bias in one direction.
   • Don't be passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive when discussing your feelings with your partner. Express your emotions vigorously, but positively and without blame.
3. 3 Throw away residual guilt. If most of the time you agreed with your partner on everything, then at the first manifestations of persistence, feelings of guilt may arise. This is a common reaction to a situation that can be overwhelming. Now you need to push away the guilt and understand that you have every right to express your opinion.
   • If it is difficult at first, take a deep breath. Imagine breathing in peacefully, calmly, and confidently, and then exhaling guilt, shame, or anxiety.
   • For example, residual guilt may arise when you tell your partner that you don't like an activity that you have often done in the past (such as fishing). This feeling will pass, and your opinion is completely justified. Now that you have honestly told everything to your partner, you can do things that you both like, and your partner can go fishing with friends or by himself.
4. 4 Formulate thoughts correctly. When planning to speak with a partner, make sure that your comments are phrased correctly. There is no need to be angry or blame. It is enough just to express your feelings and thoughts.
   • For example, instead of saying “You are selfish and do not help me” say “Your help with the housework and with the dogs would really help me. I already tried to tell you about it before, but I could not get through to you in any way ”. The second phrase expresses the same idea, but sounds more positive and calm.
5. 5 Know how to keep silent. Defending your opinions and feelings is important, but this does not mean that you need to talk about everything. Relationships are about compromise, so sometimes we don't get exactly what we want. This is not giving up persistence. Your partner's feelings are just as important as yours.
   • This means that you cannot always be right or constantly voice all your thoughts, especially in trivial or useless situations for relationships.
   • For example, if you and your partner have disagreements about politics or the support of a sports team, then you don't need to convince your partner that your opinion is the most correct. Accept differences of opinion and don't let them hurt your relationship. Do not get angry and do not keep insisting on your own.
   • Follow these simple rules, because this is what you expect from your partner.
   • By being persistent more often, it will be easier for you to understand what you want and expect from your partner. This is the only way to understand when it is better to remain silent or to compromise, and when it is impossible to remain silent.
6. 6 Don't get emotional. Romantic relationships are tied to emotions, but in an attempt to become a more assertive person, it is better to restrain emotions a little. Don't let your feelings replace persistence with aggression or passivity. Always calmly think about the relationship and any situations that arise.
   • If feelings take over, then take a few deep breaths and try to protect yourself from unnecessary emotions in a particular situation. If all else fails, offer to take a break from the conversation or do not speak until the emotions have subsided.
   • Otherwise, unwanted words can be spoken that hurt your partner's feelings.

Method 2 of 3: Friendship

1. 1 Learn to refuse. It is possible that you agree with every suggestion of your friends. If you find yourself in an undesirable situation or friends ask you for something that you do not want to give them, then you should not agree out of a desire to be good. Refuse with a calm and positive phrase. An assertive person can also be good, but still express a reasoned and polite opinion about any situation.
   • For example, if a friend wants to watch a movie that you are not interested in at all, calmly say, “I don’t want to watch this movie.” Instead, you can offer another movie or activity. So you can spend time together and do things that are interesting to more than one of you.
2. 2 Be direct. When persisting with your partner, always speak directly. Do not beat around the bush and do not deviate from the main topic. Perseverance requires straightforwardness and unambiguous words.
   • Don't be rude, blame, or express your desires too vaguely.
   • For example, instead of saying “Let's go somewhere we can have fun?” tell a friend, "I'd love to go to that new board game bar."
3. 3 Accept differences of opinion. Your and your friends' opinions on a particular topic may well differ. This does not mean that you are no longer friends or someone else's opinion is wrong. It just so happens that opinions differ. This happens not only with friends, but in general in any relationship, since all people are different.
   • It is the differences that make friendship interesting and fun. Don't let differences confuse you.
   • Think of the situation this way: disagreements are okay, and you don't have to give up your opinion at all. The same goes for your friend's opinion if you exchange opinions calmly and positively.
   • For example, if you find yourself in a situation where you and your friend disagree, then say, "I think differently, but I respect your opinion. Let's just accept these differences and continue to have fun."
4. 4 Know what you expect from others. A relationship cannot be sincere if you don't know exactly what you want and expect from your friends. Decide what you want to receive from your friendship, what behavior you expect from your friends, and how you are going to behave with them.
   • List the qualities of an ideal girlfriend. Consider each point and assess how important it is to your friendship. This will help you understand your expectations of friendship and can share it with your friends.
   • The clearer your understanding of this, the easier it is to convey these expectations to your friends without unnecessary emotions and accusations.
   • Your friendship will only benefit if both parties accept the importance of each other's expectations and desires.

Method 3 of 3: Working relationships

1. 1 Talk to employees in a calm and friendly manner. Persistence does not at all imply aggression or anger. The main aspects of persistence are a positive attitude and an active attitude towards your beliefs. When speaking with employees, always express your thoughts calmly and without blame.
   • For example, if you disagree with the appraisal of your work, talk to your boss calmly and judiciously. Consider in advance what aspects of the assessment you want to discuss, and then communicate your thoughts without unnecessary emotion. The boss will listen to your words, if you do without accusations and pretenses. Say something like this: "I would like to discuss with you the report on my work. It seems to me that some facts are misinterpreted, I would like to explain everything."
   • You don't have to scream, get angry, or shy away from the situation. Excessive aggression will prevent your boss from taking what he heard seriously. If you boycott the situation and shy away from work, the consequences can be very negative.
   • When speaking, maintain eye contact, do not cross your arms, do not become defensive, do not raise your voice or fidget.
2. 2 Trust in yourself. Being convinced of your opinions and giving is one of the best ways to be persistent. If you do not believe in yourself, then you never express your assumptions or thoughts. Try to share your thoughts with coworkers whenever you get the chance, or even every day.
   • If during a meeting you want to share with your boss an interesting proposal for a new project or write an article, please report it calmly and positively. Remember to have faith in your ideas and capabilities.
   • Make sure your ideas are relevant and well thought out ahead of time.
3. 3 Learn to listen actively. Another aspect of persistence is related decisions, comments, and assumptions. To do this, you need to actively listen to the people around you. If an employee expresses an opinion or belief, do not interrupt or belittle their words. Instead, try to consider and take into account his point of view.
   • Try to listen carefully to employees and understand what each conclusion is based on.
   • Only then can you formulate your own well-grounded idea of ​​the situation.
4. 4 Speak in the first person. A person who learns to be persistent should talk about their desires, feelings, and needs. All this manifests itself in the formulation of phrases. Instead of accusations and lengthy statements, you should speak your thoughts in the first person.
   • For example, don't tell the employee, “Maybe you should change distributors or vendors to save on office supplies?” Instead, say, “I think we should switch sellers to save on office supplies.”
5. 5 Stay Confident. Always express your opinion confidently to look assertive and to show that you know what you are talking about. At the same time, confidence should not grow into arrogance and self-confidence.
   • For example, at your next meeting, share great ideas by talking about them in a calm, even voice, instilling confidence in others, and maintaining a positive or neutral facial expression. In such a situation, the boss and employees are likely to take your words seriously.
6. 6 Don't let stress take over. If the situation is overwhelming a person, he simply cannot be persistent. You may be so worried about the consequences of a situation in which you can be persistent that you will simply refuse the opportunity. Never let the situation overwhelm you.
   • For example, if you are working on a project with other people and you have a great idea, talk about it calmly and positively. Don't think too long or get nervous.
7. 7 Don't be silent about wrongdoing. If you think that you are being used to your advantage at work, then confidently voice your opinion on this issue. No one else feels the attitude of others around you better than you. If you think an employee, manager, or boss is being unfair to you, calmly and rationally discuss the situation.
   • Give specific examples of unfair treatment or abuse. Examples always allow you to clearly argue your point of view.
   • When mistreated, you don't need to yell or act unreasonably. This will make you look very miserable. Be confident and assertive, not aggressive.

Tips

• Perseverance in behavior will not be formed by magic. You need to be patient and work on yourself in order to learn perseverance in all aspects of life.
• Write down examples of your persistence in a journal if you want to keep track of your progress. Reread your notes from time to time and notice changes in behavior.