Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Feelings
• Method 2 of 3: Stabilize Your Self-Esteem
• Method 3 of 3: How to Maintain Friendship

Finally, you plucked up the courage and confessed to your friend that you want a relationship with him, but he did not reciprocate ... Even the rejection of a complete stranger hits your self-esteem, let alone the abandonment of a friend is simply unbearable. Fortunately, there is a way to accept this rejection and move on. Most likely, after the rejection, your ego suffered in the first place, so you need to be patient, sort out your feelings and thoughts, and make every effort to stabilize your self-esteem. Then try to mend your relationship with the person who rejected you.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Dealing with Feelings

1. 1 Before you react negatively to the current situation, slow down a little. If you want to maintain a friendly relationship with this person, you need to control your emotions. You are probably feeling angry and resentful, you are upset and humiliated, you are just hurt and bad. But you should not make decisions in the heat of the moment and take out your anger and resentment on another person.
   • Before you say anything in return, take a few deep breaths and try to pull yourself together. Don't make decisions in the heat of the moment! Give yourself time to think things over and calm your emotions down a bit.
2. 2 Try to distance yourself a little from the person. After admitting your feelings and getting rejected, being around this person can be incredibly difficult and uncomfortable. So feel free to warn him that you need some personal space to think things over. Then you can discuss how to proceed. But right after admitting and getting rejected, you shouldn't pretend that everything is okay and that you are still just as comfortable with your time together. It will not benefit any of you.
   • Say something like this: “I need a little time to accept your refusal and come to terms with this situation. I do not want to stop communicating, but now I need to be alone (alone) for several days. "
3. 3 Take the time to lick your wounds. It's normal to feel trampled after a rejection. But try to resist these negative feelings by treating yourself with love. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself tenderly - like a friend who comes down with a cold. Treat yourself to something delicious. Watch your favorite TV show. Work out in the gym. Do something that will make you feel better.
   • You may be tempted to become addicted to alcohol or drugs. But understand that it won't make you feel better. On the contrary, you will only feel better if you start taking care of yourself. Eat a healthy and balanced diet, exercise, and get enough sleep.
4. 4 Keep a personal journal and write down your feelings there. This diary is intended not to accumulate thoughts and feelings about self-denial, but to pour them out on paper. For example, you can describe what happened, how the person to whom you confessed your feelings reacted, what feelings his behavior and his words caused you.Keeping a personal journal is a great skill to help you sort out your emotions and learn how to deal with them.
5. 5 Talk to someone you trust. Share your thoughts with a close friend. It is important to choose exactly the person whom you trust, who will not tell strangers about this situation. Perhaps a close friend will even advise you on something sensible, as well as help you distract yourself from this situation with rejection and unwind.
   • You can say: “Ler, I feel such insult and humiliation! I confessed to Gleb that I like him, and he said that he never perceived me romantically. I don’t know what to do now. ”
6. 6 Try to look at the situation from the other side. Another way to deal with rejection is to change your perception of the situation. Surely you see the situation through the prism of your own "I", that is, you think that you received a refusal because something is wrong with you. Try to banish this thought and replace it with more rational explanations.
   • For example, perhaps this person refused you because he is afraid of losing you as a friend and does not want to risk your communication in the event that the romantic relationship still does not work out.
   • There is also another explanation. Perhaps your friend turned you down because in fact there is another person who suits you much better. Perhaps you just need to wait until you meet him.
   • Remind yourself that it takes a lot of courage to take this and honestly talk about your feelings. This character trait definitely deserves admiration and respect!

Method 2 of 3: Stabilize Your Self-Esteem

1. 1 List your strengths. Rejection can erode your self-confidence, so find a way to remind yourself what a great person you are. Sit down and make a list of your virtues that tell you for sure that you are amazing. Do not hesitate and do not belittle your dignity! Remember that you are making this list only for yourself, no one else will see it.
   • For example, this list might include the following items: “good listener”, “artistic”, “compassionate”.
   • If you find it difficult to remember your strengths and dignity, ask what your close friend or your parents think about this. Most likely, these people know you and the positive qualities of your character very well.
2. 2 Get out of your comfort zone. Try to amuse your slightly broken ego by doing something out of the box that you haven't done before. New activities will allow you to discover your hidden talents and abilities. It doesn't have to be something extreme - it's enough just to try something non-standard, different from your usual hobbies and hobbies.
   • For example, you can sign up for flamenco dance classes. You can plan and organize a small trip to a nearby city or just go around interesting places in your hometown.
3. 3 Think positively. Rejection can lead to many negative thoughts. Try to supplant this negativity by focusing on positive images and thoughts. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day. If positive affirmations don't come to mind, you can find several on the internet.
   • Here are some examples of positive affirmations: "I am strong in many things", "People like to talk to me", "I am cute and charming."
   • Repeat these affirmations every morning as soon as you wake up. You can also repeat these affirmations from time to time during the day if you feel a low mood.
4. 4 Spend time with people who value you. The best medicine for a wounded ego and a hurt self-esteem is to feel love and care. Do your best to surround yourself with people who love and delight you. Spend more time with close family members, host family reunions, or host an evening of games. Make sure to have some fun with your close friends from time to time.
5. 5 Consider dating someone. Remember, you don't have to rely on others when it comes to your well-being. However, dating another person will help you feel “in the game,” and that, in turn, will help you bounce back from rejection. But getting in serious with someone is not the right time yet, because you are still trying to recover from that situation. Nevertheless, a non-binding date can help you distract yourself from rejection and have fun, meet new people.
   • For example, feel free to chat with that sweet girl in the cafe who is always making eyes at you. Or, finally, agree to go to the movies with that guy who calls you out every week.
   • But this person should be told right away that you are not looking for anything serious yet. Just have some fun, have a good time and see where it leads.

Method 3 of 3: How to Maintain Friendship

1. 1 Discuss frankly and honestly where your friendship is now. As soon as you realize that you are ready to return to communication with your friend, and you can calmly look him in the eyes, make an appointment and talk. You both need to discuss how your relationship is going to develop now. If you just ignore this moment and let things go, your friendship could be seriously damaged. So come back to this situation and have a serious talk.
   • You can say, “Look, I still want to be friends with you. But I understand that because of this situation you are uncomfortable ... What do you think, what should we do next? "
   • Listen carefully to your friend. Try to find out how he feels, what his thoughts are about your further communication. Find a solution together to avoid any embarrassment or resentment.
2. 2 Respect your friend's personal boundaries. If you both feel the strength to renew the friendship and return to the previous level of relationship, remember that over time, old feelings may come back. If this happens, don't try to get your friend to change his mind, don't try to get him to date you. Your friend has made it clear that he is not considering you romantically. Treat his choice with respect.
   • You will have to decide if you are ready to return to friendship with this person. If you realize that you are unlikely to be able to control your feelings, if you think that these feelings will definitely return as soon as you start communicating again, you might better stop communicating with him.
3. 3 It's important to understand that friendships are likely to never be the same. Your friend may feel uncomfortable spending time with you after you confess your feelings to him. In addition, you may not be very comfortable either, because you will most likely still feel mild resentment and humiliation due to rejection. Regardless of the mutual desire to restore the previous level of the relationship, you may still find yourself spending less time together.
   • Accept that things change as soon as romantic feelings arise. Be prepared for the fact that you may need to spend less time together, especially if both of you decide it would be better this way.
   • It is unlikely that your friendship will develop until you both build a healthy relationship. So be prepared for the fact that it will take a long time for everything to stabilize between you.