Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings

You've taken the plunge and made the biggest commitment in life. But statistics show that in the United States, almost half of marriages end in divorce, and one of the main reasons for divorce is infidelity. Whether you are married or in a committed relationship, being faithful is not always easy - but if you really want to be a faithful spouse or partner, you can do it.

Steps

1. 1 Agree to trust each other. Once you've made your vows, don't do anything to break the trust. You both vowed to be faithful to each other in every way. Now is the time to believe in each other and trust your partner. Suspicion and doubt will not cause your spouse to cheat, but if one of the spouses exhibits a high level of one or the other, then it causes problems in the relationship. Set reasonable boundaries and don't break them - trust builds on this, and the longer you both stick to those boundaries, the stronger your trust will grow over time.
   • Your early behavior will set the mood for all your relationships. Building faith, trust, and confidence in each other, making each other feel that your relationship is strong and unshakable, will be great at calming you down and helping you get through tough times. If you prove that you are worthy of his / her trust today, ten years from now, if someone accuses someone of something, he / she will brush it off, knowing that you never would not betray him / her because of your shared history.
   • On the other hand, if you are doing something that you shouldn't be doing, you cannot expect complete trust from your spouse. You have already raised doubts in him / her, and this has made him / her self-doubt. The only way to fix it is to do everything in your power (through real actions) to show him / her that you can be trusted.
2. 2 Accept that you are no longer free. No, you can no longer come and go when you want, no matter how it may torment you. You are accountable to your spouse or partner, and the sooner you accept this, the less quarrels and arguments you will have. If you act as if you are free and do not obey anyone, then be sure that soon you will really be alone - soon. Instead, remember your love for your spouse and his love for you, your promises and vows. Examples:
   • If you agree on something, do it that way. Do not change anything unless absolutely necessary, preferably due to circumstances beyond your control. If this happens, call and notify your spouse of the change right away - don't wait until he or she gets worried or angry.
   • While “checks” or reporting of changes in plans can annoy you, know that you have to sacrifice if you want to succeed in team play - remember that this helps your spouse maintain the trust she or he has in you ... Reporting to your spouse can help you maintain intimacy and build loyalty and faith.
3. 3 Understand that your spouse is not trying to put you on a leash. It's just a matter of respecting your obligations, and by doing so, you'll let your spouse know when to worry. If you don't want to be taken care of, or responsible for someone else, then you shouldn't have gotten married.
4. 4 # Wear your wedding ring always. Try not to remove the ring in most situations, even if asked by your friends. Some exceptions include playing sports, washing dishes, or if it could be damaged or could cause injury at work. Remember to put it on immediately afterwards.
   • Having a ring sends a direct signal to everyone outside your union. It reminds you that you are "busy" and most people will not violate your boundaries.
   • If someone hasn't noticed your ring, show it up close and make sure they understand that you are married and not interested in flirting. If the ring and the explanation that you are happily married doesn't help and the person continues to harass you, stop communicating with them immediately, if possible. (If this is your brother's wife, it may be difficult for you to do this, but limit contact to company and never be alone with her.If she can isolate you from your family, back off quickly - kindly if possible, but rude if necessary. In any case, be as clear as possible.
5. 5 Feed intimate life with your spouse. If any of you have problems with intimacy, discuss it - and the sooner the better. Express your closeness with gestures, hugs, kisses and sexual intercourse - these are vital parts of your bond. Even the simple daily tales you whisper to each other, or reminders that you love each other, are guaranteed ways to keep your relationship on fire and revive the memories of why you fell in love.
6. 6 Don't look for a problem where it doesn't exist. Doing something hurtful just to see your spouse's reaction is a bad idea. The problem is that checking your partner's reaction to flirting or attention to other people raises doubts about your honesty, as well as anxiety and excitement. Don't start a fight just to see what she / he will say or do.
7. 7 Try not to even create the illusion of wrongdoing. If someone comes up to you and tries to flirt with you, and maybe even someone who seems attractive to you, don't panic. Just don't show interest and let the second person know. Explain that you are happily married and do not want to go left. Put it this way. Then, excuse yourself and go to a place where there are other people. Don't allow yourself to be cornered by this person again.
   • Don't allow yourself to be in a situation where even a hint of lust is possible. It's natural to think of other people as attractive, not just your spouse. But do not allow yourself to be alone with such a person and do not make attempts to see him or her. Don't dream about him or write letters, or entertain yourself with fantasies of being with someone else - unless it's someone like Katty Perry or Ryan Reynolds. Someone out of reach is silly sympathy (however, don't dwell on your sympathy enough to threaten your marriage). Someone at work or a party (for example, in the same room with you) is a threat your happy marriage.
   • Come up with an escape plan. For example, if a certain person who is attracted to you approaches you, go to the bathroom and then return to another group of people - or even head home.
8. 8 Tell any person who is trying to lure you into their webs that you are not interested, period. Do not give a not quite sincere answer "I like you so much, but I am married." This has the wrong meaning - it means “If only my stupid spouse hadn't stood between us, then you and I could have slept.” Anyone who knows that you are married and insists on flirting will not hesitate to step over your spouse, if he is really interested in you. What matters is that you are married and that you are loyal to your partner or spouse. Stand your ground and walk away, leaving no room for doubt or hope. Don't worry about upsetting him or her.
   • People who are trying to get a person to have fun with them, and know that the second person is married, are often very unhappy people and do not want to see the happiness of other people. Ask yourself this question: “Why is there no one special in his / her life?” This is often because they just don't like being happy. Remember that if they are willing to ruin your marriage, they will stop spending time with you as soon as the hope of a relationship with you disappears.
9. 9 Take your spouse with you. If you know you will be in a situation where you cannot avoid the person who shows sympathy for you, take your spouse with you. Knowing that your partner is watching you will help keep you in control and will hopefully prevent questionable behavior on the part of the other person.
10. 10 Get out of the situation. It doesn't matter if it's work or a circle of friends. If you have tried very hard to avoid being interested in you - or worse, you started to feel reciprocity, you will have to get out of the situation. immediately... If it’s work related, ask for a transfer or for the person to be transferred because it threatens your marriage. If this happens with a circle of friends, stop spending time with friends where you meet this person. Don't whine or complain - remember that your goal is 40 years of marriage or more. No job, no girl or boy, no boost in self-esteem is worth the loss of this opportunity. Remember, a few moments of pleasure are not worth living a happy life with that special person.
11. 11 Stay home. Studies have shown that men who cheat tend to spend more time outside the home, such as staying late at the office, drinking after work, etc. Give up this habit - take work on the house, set up videoconferences with employees on the Internet, and take your spouse to dinner, not colleagues.
12. 12 Make plans for the future together and revisit them regularly. Make sure it’s not just a plan, but that you’re doing all the fun and amazing things you’ve planned together. Visit together places that thrill and excite you, do things that scare and wake you up, make unexpected gifts, picnics and surprises for each other here and there.
    • When it's time for kids, make sure your spouse remains your number one priority. You can love your children without sacrificing love for your spouse. In our child-obsessed culture, there was a tendency for some time (partly due to the parents' childhood) to put the interests of children above marriage. This is an unbalanced approach, which leads to the fact that the spouses deplete their reserves of strength. Be a loving role model for your kids to grow up watching parents love and respect each other in spite of diapers, insolent and curfew-breaking teenagers!
13. 13 Chat! If you feel repulsed due to lack of attention or participation, communicate these feelings to your spouse. He may feel the same way, and most of the relationships I've seen turned into wrong relationships due to lack of communication. One of the partners will find support from the other person who will listen to him. This can lead to a serious error that you have to work on later. If we can avoid all of this, then the temptation to change becomes less likely.
    • Examples: You are doing all the housework and your spouse is not helping you. Your spouse doesn't show interest in you, and you feel like you're being repulsed when you try to get his attention. You feel that something is missing from your spouse's attitude. You feel that something is missing in an area of ​​your relationship that seems important to you.

Tips

• Always remember why you love your other half. Lovely memories can heighten feelings.
• If people around you tell you about other women / men who might be of interest to you, tell them that you are not interested because you are happily married and he / she meets all your requirements. They will understand your message and stop trying to convince you to make the wrong decision that could lead to divorce. Remember, you shouldn't hang out with people who are not serious about your marriage vows. It is possible that they are cheaters who cannot be faithful in a relationship, or they hate faithful people and try to "lower" you to their level.
• Remember that you love your spouse because of all the little things they do, and even if someone looks better at some point, your spouse loves you too for all the little things you do.
• You may meet people who seem attractive to you or who will seduce you no matter how much you love your spouse. Don't be fooled into thinking that flirting with other people doesn't hurt anyone. Before you understand this, you will already be on your way to divorce. It is your responsibility to avoid these situations. Remember your vows.
• Don't be angry if you find out that someone else thinks your spouse is attractive, especially if your spouse does not encourage it. Enjoy that she / he comes home with you.
• Don't take it as an excuse that "50% of marriages end in divorce." This is only 50% of MARRIAGES ... not married people. People who have divorced once are more likely to divorce again, increasing the overall percentage. Try not to get divorced even once, or if you've already been divorced, try not to divorce again.
• If you ever change, it will be a fatal mistake for your marriage. You will have to decide whether to admit it or keep your dark secret until your death. Many people enjoy complete honesty, but some feel that confession only helps the cheater lighten his burden. Whatever you decide, don't make that decision for yourself. Make the decision that will help your marriage the most.

Warnings

• Treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated.
• Suspicion and doubt in your spouse's thoughts will undermine and destroy faith and trust. Avoid them in every possible way and try not to get into situations in which they arise.
• Solve the difficulties that arise in your relationship, before that how they turn into serious problems. And try not to be arrogant, rude, or wrong in the thoughts or words you use when talking to or about your spouse. If you start to feel this way, seek help with whatever problems you are having.
• Remember that a good marriage requires work. If you marry with naive thoughts about the perfect marriage, you definitely need to think about your "little differences" and whether you can put up with them for a long time. It really depends on your willingness to do whatever it takes to make your marriage happy.
• Admitting unfaithfulness to your spouse has a real risk of ruining your marriage. It can also cause your spouse a lot of emotional pain, trauma, and trust issues that he may never deal with, whether he leaves you or not. Think about whether you have the right reason to confess - if you only do it to get rid of guilt about your cheating, then this is a very bad reason. If the romance is long over and you have been faithful since it happened but still feel guilty, you must decide if your fault is worth the trauma you inflict on your spouse. Sometimes the price a person pays for cheating on his spouse, whom he truly loves, is that he must always live with that guilt.