Author:
Lewis Jackson
Date Of Creation:
7 May 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
No matter what stage your relationship is in, you can always learn how to be a better girlfriend. Being a good girlfriend is often said to be cute and sympathetic to your boyfriend / girlfriend, as well as sharing and listening. It also means taking care of yourself to stay present in the relationship.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Encourage your partner and develop a relationship
Spend plenty of time in the week together. Becoming a better girlfriend sometimes just means you have a lot of time together. Occasionally, you need to prioritize the relationship over something else you commit to doing. Being present for your boyfriend / girlfriend is an easy way to show how much you care for the other person.
- For example, make sure you spend at least once a week spending time together. You can go on a date or just stay at home together.
- Try to find a good time when you can be together. You don't have to go out for dinner just to date. Try to meet for lunch or even breakfast.
- Spending time together doesn't mean you have to always sit back and talk, even though it is important. Try to get along while you are doing something else, such as working together or even going to the grocery store together to shop.
Daily inquire. Another way for your partner to see how much you care about is to ask each other daily, whether you live together or not. For example, text them at work just to say you're thinking about them. Call them at night to see how their day is going, or if you live together, make sure you take the time to check with each other at night.- In other words, make time each day to bond with your partner. You don't need to send 20 texts a day, even though both think it's the best way to connect. Build something that works for both of you. That is, if a person doesn't like texting, it might be better to send an email or make a phone call at night.
- Try to think of new things instead of just asking, "How was your day?" Ask about each other's long-term dreams or talk about what you're grateful for. Discuss what you value most or what you like most about a friend. It's easy to start asking "How are you?" "I'm fine, how about you?" However, digging deeper will bring the two of you closer together.
- Although dating weekly or twice a week is fine, daily inquiring will help you stay in touch and create a sense of familiarity and closeness.
Say "thank you" to your lover. Everyone likes to be valued and not just for some of the things we have done. Regularly tell your significant other that you are thankful that he / she has come in your life, because this will make your partner feel more valued and loved.- For example, you could say something like, "I just want you to know that you are important to me. I am very happy to have you in my life."
- You could also say something more simply like, "I'm so happy that I saw your face again today."
- Showing gratitude isn't just about words. Give your partner a card or surprise them with a small gift just to show them you're thinking about them and how special they are to you. For example, surprise them with a homemade meal just to say "thank you".
Show empathy. Empathy means that you are really trying to feel what the other person is thinking. You have to put yourself in a vulnerable position to be able to understand the other person's plight. However, when you are pursuing a relationship, you must be able to sense your partner's feelings in order to create intimate thoughts and not necessarily physical desires.- One way to begin building empathy is to gently ask your partner about their feelings. Ask the person how they are feeling in a certain situation.
- That also means you have to stop seeing things from your point of view. Sometimes, you have to stop the way you see the world for a while to understand your partner's point of view. You don't have to give up your point of view. You only have to change your partner's perspective for a moment to understand what the world is like in their eyes.
- This means you need to stop the voice in your mind. When the person is talking about a situation, you may find yourself increasing an objection or trying to convince him / her to see it differently. Instead, stop objecting and really listen to what your partner is saying.
Give as much as you get. The best relationship is due to the two always giving each other similar good things. Of course, there are times when you have to give more, and at other times that person will give you more. In the end, however, the two should be equally for the sake of the relationship.
- For example, you may have to work harder while your partner is in school, and then he / she has to do more when you take a certain degree.
- This step is also important for some simpler things. That is, if you two live together, you should both do housework and some chores, not just one of you.
Don't be arrogant. Arrogance can separate the two of you. In a love story, both sides need to be equal, so when your ego seeps in, the relationship loses its tension. Your modesty will help balance the relationship.
- A little competition from time to time doesn't hurt the relationship. However, when you begin to think that you are "taller" than your partner, this can lead to an unhealthy relationship.
- That doesn't mean you can't accept a compliment from your partner. If he / she compliments that you are great at something, say "Thank you!" will be the most appropriate.
- However, if you tell your partner in a serious tone that she's bad at something and you do it better, then that's not true. This will only separate the two of you.
Encourage your lover. In a relationship, it's important for both of you to support some of each other's interests. If you strive to be a better girlfriend, it is important to support your partner in what they do and to encourage them.
- For example, not bothering them when they want to take the time to develop a hobby is also a form of support.
- Another way to motivate the other person is to be their cheerleader. When they succeed, make sure you celebrate with them.
Show respect. Relationships are built on love and respect. When trying to be a good girlfriend, you need to show respect in a number of ways, from being attentive to being with your crush.
- For example, spend all your time with the person when you are both dating. Do not look at your phone or watch TV while in a restaurant.
- Another way to show respect is to subtly recognize any cultural issues your partner possesses. For example, if your partner mentions that his / her family likes to do something in one way, don't just laugh it off because you want to do it another way.
- Another way to show respect is to forgive rather than to blame. When the person makes a mistake, forgive him / her instead of tormenting them for it.
Be kind. Small gestures of affection make everyday life with your boyfriend / girlfriend more worthwhile. On your part, being a better girlfriend means you want to be kind to your partner.
- Love can be expressed in many ways. This can mean that you are attentive to the time it takes for the other person to be alone, sometimes when you appear with a cup of coffee in hand and give it to him when you know they need it.
- This could also mean doing something as simple as holding their hand when they feel a little nervous.
- Being kind can also mean accepting chores that your loved one doesn't like, like taking them to the dry cleaner before they have to.
- Those are all a few small things that contribute to show your care for the other person.
Part 2 of 3: Good communication
Create a space for your lover to confide in. We all have times when we need to talk about something that bothers us. When you love each other, you are also two confidants to talk to each other about what's happening in life. However, you must make sure you create opportunities for that, both emotionally and temporally.
- In other words, if you interrupt the person when they start talking about something that bothers them, it won't create emotional space for them to be willing to talk.
- Also, sometimes you have to open up. When you notice that your partner is looking down or upset, try asking them what's going on.
Willingness to listen. Listening is an art. You need to really pay attention to what the other person is saying and not just try to figure out how to respond. For example, when talking seriously, you may tend to take precautions based on something your partner says and not really listening to what they want to say. Try to understand what they mean instead of defensively for better communication.
- As they talk, ponder what they are saying.Try to understand what they mean, not just listen to what they say.
- Show them that you are listening by asking a few guiding questions. You should also summarize what they say. For example, you could say, "What I heard from you is that you are disappointed because I am not spending a lot of time with you." It helps them know that you are listening, plus it will help you know you got it right.
Listen to some verbal cues. A hint comes up when your boyfriend / girlfriend casually mentions something they like. Accept the suggestion and respond appropriately, sometimes by asking about their interests, or by acting.
- For example, your girlfriend says, "That car is great, isn't it? My car doesn't seem to work anymore". You could say, "Oh, are you going to buy a new car?" Or you can ask her if she wants to take a test drive.
- Another example would be if your boyfriend suggests going to a new restaurant down the street looks great. You can take the initiative and make a reservation.
- Continuing to notice verbal cues is a demonstration that you listen and care.
Observe your partner's body language. A person's body language can tell you as much about that person as they really are. Your body reveals some of the underlying thoughts and feelings, so paying attention to that can help you connect with what the person is actually saying.
- For example, if the person turns his back on you while you're talking, this could mean they're not interested or that they're trying to hide something.
- If they don't look at you, you may know that they are hiding something or that they are having difficulty speaking. That could also be a sign of embarrassment.
- If they cross their arms, it means they are starting to take precautions when talking.
Try to keep the conversation positive. This doesn't mean you can't talk about problems, but that you should try to keep your language and the way you talk in a positive way. When the conversation is started in that direction, things are less likely to get worse. Your partner may listen more to you, just as you will listen to your ex if he or she doesn't yell or get angry.
- In other words, try not to argue when you are very angry, because arguing only causes tension to escalate.
- A sense of humor can keep a conversation light and effective, as well as gestures of love, such as hugging or gently touching the person's arm or shoulder.
Wait until you calm down. Sometimes you get really angry and want to argue right away. However, that would make the conversation overwhelmed by emotion, and turn into a fight. It's not too late to wait for your emotions to settle down to talk later.
- The 2-day rule works fine. This rule means you should talk about the issue within two days if you still feel the need to talk. If not, you should ignore everything.
- If you face the problem today, try taking a break for about an hour. Spend some time doing something you enjoy, like listening to music or reading a book. By distracting yourself a bit, you will be able to cope better.
Solve problems when they are not serious. If you let small things happen all the time, sometimes they can accumulate as big problems. Solve problems as soon as they arise, and you are less likely to have an outburst of anger.
- For example, if you're upset that your boyfriend doesn't call at night, talk about it. If you let that happen, the problem can get serious between you two, and then you will get angry at him.
- You might say, "Darling, I know you're busy tonight, but I'll feel sad not hearing your voice. I want to know if you're safe or not."
Part 3 of 3: Take care of yourself
Understand your needs. In a relationship, you must take care of yourself as well as take care of your partner. In fact, sometimes you need to be mindful of your needs first to be able to better support the person.
- Of course, that means you should know what you need. Maybe you need time to be alone, or perhaps you need to be cuddled up once a week.
- Once you know what you need, show them to your ex. You should have a conversation about what you both need, both inside and out of the relationship. Try planning out what you both need to meet each other. For example, you might say, "I really need to be loved by you once a week." Your lover may object by saying, "I am very happy to spend time cuddling with you. I enjoy doing this. But I also need time for myself."
Pay attention to signs of emotional abuse. Your lover says you need to be a better girlfriend doesn't mean you're a bad girl. In other words, look for some of the signs of emotional abuse in a relationship. You may find yourself in an abusive relationship but not admit it.
- For example, some signs of an abusive relationship might include: the person persisted, humiliated you, refused to speak up at all, and / or became angry and moody in the great time together.
- Other signs may be: often using a sarcastic / harsh tone, wanting to control you, making you feel guilty all the time, and blaming you when things go bad.
- You may also notice that the other person is intentionally embarrassing, very controlling, calling you all day just to find out where you are (but not interested), or overly jealous.
- If the person sometimes shows one or even a few of the above, it is not necessarily violent. However, if your partner always makes you feel bad, embarrassed, or controlling you, it is definitely a sign of emotional abuse. Pay attention to statements like "I love you, but ... "It is often a sign of a controlling person.
- Be aware that many abusers will often apologize for their behavior to pull you back.
Get a good night's sleep. It sounds nonsense, but a good night's sleep can be essential to maintaining a good relationship. When you get enough sleep, you will feel more comfortable and have more energy. More importantly, though, getting enough sleep will help you maintain self-control.
- Sleep affects glucose levels in the body and in turn affects self-control. If you don't have enough self-control, you tend to be irritable and unwilling to share when he / she needs you.
- Make sure to get 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Sticking to a bedtime schedule means going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, which can help you get enough sleep and feel more rested.
- If you find it difficult to remember bedtime, try setting an alarm at night. Set up a tiger hour before you need to go to bed. When the bell rings, turn off all electronic devices and go to sleep.
Healthy eating. Just like good night, healthy eating contributes to overall health. When you don't eat healthy or let yourself go hungry, you tend to be more irritable with your partner. Try maintaining a few healthy meals on a regular basis so that you won't be grumpy.
- Don't forget to eat lean protein, fresh fruits and vegetables, low-fat grains and milk for your best health.
Pay attention to a few influencers. Everyone has a number of emotional stimuli. You probably know that too. The things that make you angry are often because they happened in the past. It is important to understand what triggers your emotions, because it will help you learn to calm down when they suddenly appear. Alternatively, you can give your partner a warning, as well as an explanation of why you're feeling upset.
- If you're not sure what your triggers are, pay attention to a time when you get really upset for no good reason. Try to think about what makes you angry.
- Write down some examples of those situations and what factors you think caused them. As you write down more situations, you will begin to notice certain rules.
Do not mistreat yourself. Just like being kind to your lover, it's important to be kind to yourself first. Being kind to yourself makes you feel better, and then being kind to your ex.
- For example, if you make a mistake, tell yourself this is normal. You can learn from experience and move on, don't mistreat yourself.
- Remind yourself that no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes like you sometimes.
