Content

• Steps

When we have trouble with sensitive things in life, we often turn to mothers. However, sometimes it is not easy to confide in your mother. Being shy is easy to understand, and there are many ways you can talk to your mom more comfortably. Prepare in advance by thinking carefully about when and how you should talk to her; being willing to deal with stress and trying to be straightforward and polite. Finally, end the conversation positively, ask her for advice and thank you for her time.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Make a decision about the conversation

1. 

   Choose the right time. If what you want to talk about is making the situation uncomfortable, it is important to find the right time and place to speak up. Talking when Mom is busy or stressed will only make things worse.
   • Choose a time that is not limited in time. If you are going to talk to your mom about something personal or embarrassing, make sure you and your mom have the time you need to talk about it.
   • You should also choose a time when both you and your mother are stress-free. Don't talk to your mom about embarrassing or embarrassing things when your mood is inherently bad. If both mother and daughter are off Saturday, then it might be a good time to talk.

2. 

   
   
   Prepare for confusion. If you're going to talk to your mom about something personal, it's okay to feel embarrassed. Be mentally prepared for this to make it easier to speak up.
   • Don't try to hide your confusion or embarrassment. Doing so will only make you more focused on those emotions.
   • Instead, acknowledge that you are awkward and remind yourself why you want to talk about this. For example, if you want to talk to your mother about sex or dating, for example it will be difficult to open up but she can give you valuable advice from her maturity and experience.

3. 

   
   
   Determine the purpose of the conversation. You shouldn't talk without knowing what you really want. Surely you must have a reason to choose to confide in a private matter with your mother. Think of this reason to better lead the conversation.
   • Maybe you just need her to listen. If you are confused about a personal issue, you most likely just need someone to let your mind go, if so, tell your mom that you don't need advice or guidance, just listen. never mind.
   • However, if you need advice, think about how you would like your mother to help you. You can ask in person, such as: "Mom, I need some advice from you about this."
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Part 2 of 3: Effective communication

1. 

   
   
   Start a conversation. You can be very nervous when you talk to her. However, the conversation can easily start with just one simple sentence. Take a few deep breaths, approach your mother, and start talking.
   • Say simple things, such as: "Mom, are you free? I have something to tell you."
   • If you are worried that she will get angry, you can try to fence first, such as: "Mom, you must be sad if this happens. But anyway, I want to tell you, I keep getting angry. it is OK".

2. 

   Be frank. If it's something important, don't go around and get straight to the point. A straightforwardness helps an open and sincere conversation begin.
   • Please tell me the details so she can understand the problem you are presenting, do not try to hide anything.
   • For example, start clearly, directly like: “Mom, I have been dating Mr. A for a while and he wants to go beyond the limit. I'm not sure I'm ready, but he keeps asking. I don't know what to do ".

3. 

   Listen to your mother's point of view. You may not need advice, however, it is the parent's job to guide the children, so even if you disagree, listen to your mother's opinion.
   • Try to understand your mother's point of view. If you feel frustrated, stop for a moment and put yourself in your mother's shoes. Think about why you have such a view.
   • For example, say you talk to your mother about a friend getting into drugs and she reacts very negatively. You may think she is too judgmental, but maybe because she had a friend who was very addicted when she was in high school, she reacted like this.

4. 

   Always be polite and respectful when talking. When she talks about a private issue, chances are her mother's reaction will not be what you expected. She may be sad, worried or even angry. Either way, stay calm, don't turn the conversation into an argument, or both mother and child won't solve the problem at all.
   • Remember the basic code of conduct, don't interrupt and don't speak loudly to mom.
   • Always note what she says, whether you like it or not. For example, "I understand that you worry that Hanh will affect me badly, but I worry about Hanh because she is my friend".
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Part 3 of 3: End the conversation in a positive way

1. 

   Avoid controversy. You shouldn't let the conversation turn into an argument.Even if your mother's reaction is negative, you should refrain from quarreling with her. Always talk to her calmly and respectfully, even if you think she's not fair at all.
   • If you feel like you are about to feel out of control, pause the conversation. You can tell your mom, "I don't think this conversation is going anywhere. Can you and I talk about this later?".
   • Then you can do something to calm your anger, like going for a walk or talking to a friend.

2. 

   Coping with negative reactions. Her response may not be what you want. She can get angry, even punish you or give you restraining orders. If your mother reacts in such a negative way, try to find a way to cope effectively.
   • If she starts class or says things that aren't helping you, tell her straight. You could say things like, "I really don't need advice. I just want to talk."
   • If she forbids you from doing something (For example, "I don't want you to continue playing with Hanh"), accept it for now. You can talk to her again when she is calm. Arguing at that moment will probably make Mom more assertive about that ban.

3. 

   Please advise if you want. You may need some advice to talk to your mother. If that's the case, talk to mom after you've raised the issue. Say something like, "I really need your advice because I really don't know what I should do."
   • Remember, just because someone gives you advice doesn't mean you need to follow it. However, it can be helpful to listen to and take your mother's point of view into consideration.

4. 

   Talk to another person if she won't listen. If the problem is too difficult to tell her, or she reacts too negatively and doesn't want to talk about it, talk to someone else.
   • You can talk to your dad, aunt, aunt, uncle, older cousin or a friend of your parents.
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