Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Awake awareness: write down your life timeline and thoughts differently from others. Start a new beginning and rearrange your world. Give yourself some private time, identify your passions, and find mentors. Change your mindset and eliminate negative thoughts. Counsel your conscience and act on new knowledge.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Awakening awareness

1. 

   Create your own life timeline. Write down the big goals you want to achieve. At the same time, write down events that took place, forming or affecting who you are. When life is difficult and unhappy, it is time to form the belief system and make us think differently. At the same time it also helps us to be self. The things listed in the reflection list your character, not merely a social reflection.
   • This is not an easy exercise. The goal of doing this is to identify and clarify the issues that are preventing you from reaching your existing potential and helping yourself to shine.
   • Spend time clarifying the past in your timeline. This is an extremely objective method for identifying important milestones in the past. You can view them as moments that form barriers or change your experience without being overwhelmed by your emotions (like when writing a journal). Similar to writing a resume, write simple, concise, and honestly to summarize the influences and lessons learned from each past event.
   • When analyzing negative past experiences, focus on lessons learned. Life has to come and go, if you exaggerate or ignore it, it won't solve the problem. Instead, see this as the experience that helps shape who you are.

2. 

   
   
   Distinguish your thoughts from others. For most people (more common than you think) to let things go natural for ease of living, let's learn to get used to reality. Go to school, find a job, get married, if you keep thinking about these things, "boom", wish you happy. If you want everything to be perfect, to finish the job correctly, there will be no time left yourself. At the end of the timeline, write down your beliefs and not rely on logic but on what was told. We all have faith. What are you really thinking right now?
   • Society is full of "people who cannot adapt to circumstances", condemning "losers", worshiping "beautiful people", shunning "strangers". However, the other descriptive words have no practical basis. How do "you" feel about the world around you? "You" believe what is good or bad, not related to the thinking of others.
   • Think more specifically. Do you really agree with your parents' political or religious ideas? Is career development your number one priority? Does wearing sunglasses really make you look "cooler"? If the answer is no, that's fine! You should have absolutely no problem getting rid of the pattern. Now you just need to forget the unnecessary things and learn new things. This time follow your resolve.

   

   
   

   Adrian Klaphaak, CPCC

   Career coach Adrian Klaphaak is career coach and founder of A Path That Fit, a career and life coaching company in the San Francsico Bay area. He works with individuals who want to make a positive impact on the world and have helped more than 1,000 people build successful careers and lead more purposeful lives.

   

   Adrian Klaphaak, CPCC
   Career coaches

   Please respect your uniqueness. Adrian Klaphaak, founder of A Path That Fits, said: "American culture does not really support people in getting to know oneself and finding their own talents, passions and personalities. Everyone is busy, and work pressure and responsibilities take up most of the time to pursue a passion or to find oneself. You have to take time to understand yourself. And when you know your own way, don't let fear, doubt or worry get in the way. "

   
   

3. 

   Rely on yourself. Confidence and trust are the key to finding yourself. If you don't believe in your own values, your stance will be shaken by the words of others. Learn to trust yourself and your feelings. From there forming a whole new sense of self. Remember, be patient with yourself and confident in your abilities. What will be will come.
   • If you have been a victim in the past, you have to deal with that problem. They will not go away on their own but can affect your daily life, causing you to live up to the expectations of others instead of yourself.
   • Trust in your own judgment and decisions. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, but thanks to them, we can grow up, learn more and approach our true self.
   • Manage your expenses, family affairs, and plan for the future in a responsible way. People who lack self-awareness tend to ignore the "little details" of life. They believe that everything can be arranged, but not always. Responsible living helps you live on your own and have purpose, no longer controlled by what you consider destiny to be.

4. 

   Prepare to start over with a fresh start. Develop your own moral character and practice it seriously. Start by giving up bad habits.
   • Stop smoking, binge eating, or drinking a lot. These are the habits that keep you from being most productive. They also let you "get stuck" by avoiding analyzing why you depend on these things instead of finding more positive ways to change your life.
   • At this stage, you may have to apply some rehabilitation techniques if the habit is ingrained in your difficult nature to give up. Remember that you cannot drive forward to the life you are looking at if you are just gazing at your rearview mirror.

5. 

   Personal world reorganization. You realize that if things are in the right place, self-consciousness can speed up. So clean your room, do your homework, make peace with your best friend. Completely solving all personal problems to clear the way to find "yourself".
   • Everybody argues why you can't grow in the direction you want, be it money, school, work, relationships, etc. If you're a hard bee, take some time in your schedule to sit down and get things organized. If this is only the 2nd priority then you will never complete it.
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Part 2 of 4: Conquer your world

1. 

   "Release soul" in a deserted place Give yourself time and space to get rid of the expectations, the conversations, the noise, the publicity, the pressure. Take some time each day to take a walk and think. Sit down on a park bench and watch everything or go out somewhere and think. Whatever you do, stay away from things that distract you from your life and the places you want to go. In a secluded place, you will feel independent, independent, not lonely, afraid or lacking.
   • Everyone needs alone time whether they are introverted or extroverted, single or in love, young or old. This is a time to rejuvenate and confide in yourself, to calm your mind and realize that intentional "loneliness" is not something bad, but part of liberating your existence.
   • If you are creative you will find moments like this arousing creative inspiration. Sometimes collaborating with others is fun, but it's difficult to be completely creative when there are so many people around. Step back and awaken your creativity.

2. 

   Identify your passion. When you believe or notice the beauty of something, you should exercise your passion no matter what others think. If you have found something that is worthy of sweat and tears, you have identified the most important goal to pursue in life. Usually, that goal will give you the end result.
   • It is important to realize that it doesn't matter what it is. Your passion may be to prevent child starvation or to paint, without limitation. You may or may not feel it, but passion is better than not. When you find something that pulls you out of bed in the morning go after it. You will shine with that passion.

3. 

   Find a mentor. While you can only search for your soul and determine what you want, a mentor can be of great help when you get stuck. Find someone with a strong sense of self, someone you trust. Ask them how they did?
   • Tell them what you are doing. Show that you know this is your own journey, but still want to lead the way by their strength. Observe them objectively. What makes them who they are? How did they find it? How to live true to yourself?
   • Support is key to any self-improvement strategy's success. Not many people understand what you are going through and will dismiss your story as transient moodiness. The mentor is the person who listens to your thoughts, helping you to overcome immediate difficulties. Everything has a solution.

4. 

   Determine your career path. If you are wandering around looking for a job "right" for you, you are more likely not to feel happy. You can use excuses because you change jobs so you do not fulfill your full potential. Find yourself by doing something you love. If you weren't talking about money, what would you like to spend your time doing? How can you make money with this activity / skill?
   • Take time to associate freely. Think about what you like and dislike, and think of ideas that suddenly flash in your mind as you relate freely. Write down those ideas. Go back to your career question and observe the freely linked record just now. What work gets you excited, motivated, or energetic? Like Alain de Botton said, this is an exercise in finding the "sound of joy" that lurks amid the shrill noise of something you must do or should do.
   • Remember, it is unlikely that this job will be in the position you want it to be. In that case, you have to balance work and life in order to pursue "real people" outside of the workplace, even if you have to work harder, but your income is lower. Anything is possible, especially if you are pursuing your goal of finding who you are.
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Part 3 of 4: Changing perspective

1. 

   Get rid of thoughts that need to be loved by everyone. You have to accept that many people think you are poor no matter what you do. It is important not to mind what others think because you cannot please everyone. Even though you don't want to disappoint your loved one, they should also think about your happiness. If you still live up to other people's expectations, you will never understand who you really are. Raymond Hull once said: "People who change themselves to get along with those around them will soon lose themselves."
   • Realize that many people will be jealous, scared, or overwhelmed when someone changes their daily routines and becomes more mature, self-loving (people like it). This is a threat to current relationships, it leaves the person cold, strict with themselves even if they don't want to. Please sympathize with them and give them private space, and then they'll come back. If not, leave them alone. You don't need those people to be yourself.

2. 

   Eliminate the negativity. It sounds abstract, but it's not too difficult. Make an effort to minimize judging others and other things and yourself. There are 2 reasons: 1) Actively nurturing and unleashing a sense of happiness that has been "hidden" for a long time, 2) Accepting new experiences and new people (you wrote down before) will help you continue. Close to a whole new world much better than the one you know before, where you can find your own skylines, castle in the cloud or simply some kind of field in the mad world. this.
   • Try doing "weird", "illogical" or "uncomfortable everyday" things. Getting out of your comfort zone not only helps you learn new things, but also forces you to learn real people mine. What abilities you have, what you like or dislike, what you have missed before

3. 

   Ask myself. Ask profound and difficult questions, remember to write down the answers. After some quiet alone time, it's not hard to identify purposeful thoughts that have been forgotten. If you've taken notes, every time you respond, you can review your notes and go further instead of answering old questions. Take notes in a scientific way to simplify the review and update process, this is your source of nutrition, thanks to which you can evaluate development in life. Here are a few pointers:
   • "If I have all the resources in the world - if I don't need make money - what am I going to do and why? "Maybe you want to paint, write, farm or explore the Amazon rainforest.
   • "What do you want to remember from the past and confidently say that I have no regrets?" Do you regret having never traveled abroad? Do you regret having never invited anyone out because of the risk of being rejected? Do you regret not spending a lot of time with your family? Do you regret not sharing your thoughts with your friends? Am I fit / out of place completely with what I want to achieve? This is a really difficult question to answer.
   • "Choose three words to describe the person I want to be." Adventurous? Accept? Open? Honest? Happy? Optimistic? Unreliable? Don't be afraid to choose negative words as it shows you are the real person, not a combination of many words. others that everyone wants to know.
     • Sometimes a trait you don't like becomes useful in an emergency. Sometimes they are valuable in the work you are doing.
     • If you have a negative personality, being aware of this can help motivate you to change negative into positive. Try replacing bad habits with hobbies. Don't wash clothes too often? That time spent camping, maybe you would like. Even pole dance practice also brings positive benefits. If there's something you're lazy about doing, try finding another task that doesn't boring you.
   • "Who I am?" This is not a question at a given point in time. You should ask yourself throughout your life.A healthy person improves themselves continuously throughout life. Regularly asking "Who am I" questions helps you update your true self-understanding, how you change. Instead of answering who you want to be, focus on who you are now because that's the most relevant answer.
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Part 4 of 4: Set up for good

1. 

   Act according to and use new knowledge. For example, choose watercolors, write short stories or make jokes, plan a trip to Mombasa, have dinner with the whole family. Be open and honest. No matter who you decide to be or what you do, start right away now.
   • You don't want to make excuses like "no time", "no money", "family responsibility", etc. Instead of justifying it like that, start making a plan to address your barriers to life. You will have free time, make money and rest in the process of searching for mettle for such things.
   • Sometimes, you really are scared of facing reality because you will have to admit your limits. Start planning what you really want to do and learn what it takes to do it instead of just quibbling, goals and dreams will just stay in place.

2. 

   Ready to go to the end of the road. Finding yourself is a journey, not a destination. There will be a lot of trial and error. This is the price of self-satisfaction: sometimes you run into obstacles on the way, sometimes you stumble. Must accept difficult times, know how to stand up after stumbling and move forward.
   • It is not easy, but if you take this as an opportunity to prove how much you want to find yourself, you will also find satisfaction and security with what you pursue. When you understand yourself, people will respect you more and will treat you with kindness. Above all, your light will illuminate you and those around you, making them (and you) feel more self-conscious.

3. 

   Serving other people. According to Mahatma Gandhi, "The best way to find yourself is to let yourself serve others". Being introverted and unwilling to give a hand to others can turn people away from you. Serving people and the community is the only way to find your purpose and place in the world.
   • When you see that many people have a harder life than you, it's a wake-up call that lets you put your worries, concerns and problems aside. It helps you appreciate what you have, seize good opportunities in life. This can boost your sense of self because when things suddenly go out of orbit and you realize what matters most. Try it and you will enjoy it.
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Advice

• During the journey, sometimes you want to cry. Keep crying to relieve sadness.
• There is no specific time in the self-search process. You must be persistent.
• Do not be afraid to fall asleep during the journey. Without rushing to make a decision, you will make a more accurate decision when your mind is calm.
• No wrong or right, don't worry too much.
• Listen to and trust your heart.
• It sounds cliché, but the phrase "Be yourself" is really accurate when looking for yourself. Make sure no one can influence you, listen and learn from others, but the decision, the final choice, should be yours. If you admit what others think, finding yourself is even more difficult because people are influencing think of you about yourself.
• Sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone. Notice how to adapt when stepping out of your comfort zone and you will find yourself doing things you've never tried before.
• Know forgiveness and hope people forgive you too.
• Try your best. Being yourself is also trying your best.
• You feel a sense of closeness when you relax or immerse yourself in something.
• Try not to judge yourself unless you see immediate positive results. Persistence is key when things get tough.

Warning

• Don't gossip about other people if you don't want them to slander you. Taking down others is not the way to find yourself. This is just a fulfillment of dignity and makes other people even less likable to you.
• Don't deceive yourself and try to be someone else. Remember this is self-search. You must not let family members decide, not let society or the media influence your direction, especially in appearance.
• Don't let others decide what you want to do. Their path is not necessarily the one for you. Being suitable for one person is not necessarily for everyone.
• Don't go overboard! There is no right and wrong. If you try, you are doing it right.
• Don't let yourself fall into a constantly changing situation and adjust your actions to accommodate people.