Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

The strange thing is, even though it's annoying, criticism is an important factor in helping us get better in some way. Accepting criticism and making it constructive is a skill. If you are not good at this skill, you may need some practice. This not only improves your interactions but also helps you to improve yourself, and at the same time you will feel more comfortable when faced with problems.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Handling your feelings

1. 

   Keep calm. It is natural to feel defensive when criticized, but it is not helpful to allow yourself to be angry and to show your emotions. Remember that everyone makes a mistake while learning a new skill, so criticism is inevitable, and if you deal with it constructively, you can learn something of value. So try to stay calm, even when the person who criticizes you seems agitated. Don't get caught up in their feelings, as doing so will not be able to process criticism, and this will prevent you from learning.
   • Deep breath. When criticized, focusing on your breathing can help you stay calm. Try counting to ten (in your mind) as you inhale, hold your breath as you count to five, then slowly exhale.
   • Try smiling. Just a smile can help you feel better and can make the other person relax a little too.

2. 

   
   
   Give yourself less time. Before you react and even before thinking about your criticism, give yourself time to "cool down". Do something that feels comfortable for about 20 minutes, like listening to your favorite music, reading a book, or taking a walk.Taking some time to calm down after receiving a harsh criticism will help you cope with it with a constructive spirit instead of acting on your emotions.

3. 

   
   
   Take criticism away from other areas of you. When you want to accept criticism in a way that is useful to you, you need to be separate. Try not to treat criticism as personal attack or opposition to your other actions. Examine the criticism as it is, without adding or making assumptions about other aspects of themselves based on what they just said.
   • For example, if someone criticizes your painting, that doesn't mean you're a bad artist. While your painting has some flaws that many people dislike, you can still be a great artist.

4. 

   
   
   Consider the motives of the criticism. Sometimes the purpose of criticism is not to help but to hurt. Before deciding what to do with the criticism, take some time to think about it. Ask yourself a few questions to understand why they said those words.
   • Are those comments about something you have control over? If not, why do you think those words were there?
   • Is the person's criticism really important? Why is it important and why not?
   • Are you competing with that person? If so, would the criticism reflect that?
   • Do you feel like you're being bullied? If yes, have you sought help? (If you feel you are being bullied at school or at work, talk to someone who can help, such as a teacher or human resources representative).

5. 

   Tell someone about what happened. Whether the criticism is based on your performance or is just coming from a petty personality, it's important to discuss what happened and how you are feeling. Wait until that person is not present, find someone you trust to confide in. Tell them what happened and how you feel about it. Discussing with trusted relatives or friends can help you better understand the criticism and why it was being said.

6. 

   Change direction of focus. Once you have taken steps to stay calm and understand the criticism, try to focus on the more positive aspects of you. If you pay too much attention to areas that need improvement, you may begin to feel sad and powerless. Instead, try listing every strength of yourself you can think of to rebuild your self-esteem.
   • For example, you could put in a list of good things like "good at cooking", "funny", or "giddy". List all the strengths you can think of and reread them to remind yourself of the things you do well.
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Part 2 of 3: Responding to criticism

1. 

   Listen to criticism. When someone comments, pay attention and show that you are listening to them. Maintain eye contact and nod from time to time to show that you are listening. This may be difficult, but it really works for you. If you don't listen, you may not react in the proper way and you will be criticized more.
   • Even if the advice or criticism is bad, it's still important to hear the person speak. If they're just sending the message, you can still "listen" in mind.

2. 

   Repeat what the person said. After the person criticizes you, repeat their comments so that both sides can understand. In other words, you need to eliminate the possibility of additional criticism stemming from a misunderstanding. You do not need to rephrase what the person said, just summarizing is enough.
   • For example, imagine you have been criticized for submitting incorrect documents, and this causes problems for your co-workers. You might repeat to the person like, “I understand you just said that I need to be more careful when submitting documents so that my colleagues can do their job more effectively. Is that so?"
   • If you don't understand a comment, ask them to explain or repeat something you don't know. Say something like, “I want to understand so that I can fix the problem. Can you explain what you mean by another way? "

3. 

   Respond when you're ready. Some types of criticism may be too harsh or complex to respond immediately. If you can, wait until you are calm and collected, and take time to think about the criticism before you respond. Sometimes you need to react right away, but it's better to slow down. Best results can be achieved by taking the time to decide to react properly.
   • Say something like, “Thank you for the feedback. Let me review the documentation and see what can be done. Can I text you tomorrow morning asking you about some changes? "

4. 

   Apologize for your negligence, if necessary. If your criticism comes from you making a mistake or hurting someone, it's important to apologize right away. Apologizing is different from dealing with criticism, so don't assume an apology forces you to change or accept any criticism you have received.
   • In most cases, all you need to say right away is, “I'm so sorry. I don't want it to happen like that. I'll double-check to see what we can do to make sure that doesn't happen again.

5. 

   Know where they are right. When you are ready to respond to your verbal criticism, start by acknowledging which part of their criticism is correct. When the person hears this, the person feels better and knows that you are really thinking about what they just said.
   • You can simply say, "You're right," and go through. You do not need to go into many details explaining why the person is right. Just acknowledging that you agree with their point of view will help the critic feel their opinions have been heard.
   • Of course, the critic can be completely wrong. In this case, you should find a certain aspect of their words ("I could have handled this better") or just thank their feedback, and stop at there.

6. 

   Talk about your change plans. Tell them how you plan to follow their advice or how to handle a problem they criticize. This will reassure them that you have a concern about the matter. Receiving criticism, full acknowledgment, and responding in such a way will give you a more mature look. When you recognize the problem and take action to correct it, people will be much more tolerant of you in the future.
   • You could say something like, "Next time I'll see you before talking to the client to make sure we are agreeing to receive the response."

7. 

   Ask them for advice. If they haven't suggested a better way to deal with the problem, ask how they could do it differently. If they give advice, you can still ask for more. Taking advice not only helps you learn, but also makes the other person feel better.
   • Cling to “what” questions instead of “why” questions. Asking the 'what' will get more advice, while asking 'why' can make the situation worse and put the other person on the defensive. For example, ask questions like, "What do you think I should do next time?" Don't ask, "Why are you talking about me like that?"

8. 

   Communicate that you need patience. Ask them to be patient if the changes aren't something you can do right away. Change, especially big one, takes time. Asking them to be patient will reduce your pressure and help you get to know each other better. By communicating that it takes time to improve, you also show that you take their criticism seriously. advertisement

Part 3 of 3: Use criticism to improve yourself

1. 

   See this as an opportunity. The healthiest way to deal with criticism is to take it as a step backwards to assess your actions and find ways to improve. Criticism is a helpful factor in getting you to the top of the game. When you look at criticism this way, it will be easier to accept.Not only are you receptive to criticism, you will also find that you are looking for it.
   • Even if someone criticizes wrongly, it can still help you see areas where you need improvement. The fact that someone feels a problem in the job you are doing at least tells you that there is an area you need to work on, even if that's not what critics are talking about.

2. 

   Distinguish between helpful advice and useless advice. It is important to deal with criticism when it comes to understanding which criticism to listen to. In general, if someone is just complaining and not suggesting how you should change it, ignore their words. Nor should you worry about criticism surrounding things you cannot change. Some people make criticism to feel better about yourself, and you have to be able to see such situations. Don't react to useless criticism. Recognizing and resisting that criticism only gives the other person more power.
   • If the person doesn't offer good advice, then you know their response is not constructive. For example, words like "Oh that's awful, colors don't matter, and the presentation is messy." Ask if they have any advice for improvement. If they are still upset and not helpful, just ignore them and ignore their words later.
   • Good criticism is when negative things go hand in hand with positive things, and the person gives suggestions for improvement. For example, "I don't really like the red part, but I do like the blues of the mountains." These are constructive comments and you should pay attention to what they say. Maybe next time you will heed this advice.

3. 

   Think and write down information. Consider the advice you have just received. Do they tell you what to change? Try to think about a number of different solutions that can have the same effect. This will provide a number of options so you can find what is best for you. You should also think about whether there is anything you can learn from criticism.
   • It's a great idea to write down that information, word for word, right after you receive advice. This helps your memory later not distort words, leaving you only following your hurt feelings because of criticism in your imagination.

4. 

   Planning. Once you've determined which advice is important, you will have to plan for changes. When you have a plan, especially a written plan, it will be easier for you to follow the plan and make changes. You are also more likely to act.
   • What do you need to do to bring about change? Write down your steps so you can start striving.
   • Make sure your goals are measurable and within your control. For example, if you get a review on one of your posts, your measurable and controllable goal could be to "start working on the next one as soon as it is delivered" or "get feedback. from the teacher before the deadline ”. You should NOT set goals like "becoming a better writer" or "getting the perfect score on the next article" because such goals are difficult to measure and control.

5. 

   Never give up the effort to become better. Be persistent in dealing with criticism. Normal criticism leads you in a direction that is completely different from your normal direction or not the way you believe to be right. This means that you have to work hard to improve yourself. You need to anticipate obstacles when trying to change your behavior.
   • Remember that you can agree with what the person says, but fight and get back to what you know. Don't assume that this means you can't change or feel inferior to failure. You are learning. If you are determined and persistent, you will eventually reach your destination.
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Advice

• Avoid being defensive when you receive criticism. This attitude will make the situation worse. It is also important to avoid crying, denying or blaming others when you are being criticized.

Warning

• Don't let yourself be bullied. If someone constantly criticizes you and makes you feel bad, ask someone for help.