Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Talking to your parents about being pregnant is just as scary as being a mother. When you find out this news, you may feel too confused to tell your parent, but if you follow the steps below, you will be able to initiate an open and honest conversation with them - and determine what you should do next.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Prepare for the conversation

1. 

   Prepare to see what you will say. Even if your parents will be shocked to learn that you are pregnant, you can ease the situation by being as clear and mature as you can when you tell them. Here are a few suggestions:
   • Open a conversation. Don't scare your parents by saying, "I have very bad news." Instead, say, "I have something very difficult to tell my parents."
   • Think about how you would explain your pregnancy. Do they know you had sex or even had a boyfriend?
   • Share your feelings. Even if you find it frustrating and difficult to speak, try to hold your tears until the conversation is over and you will cry. Let your parents know that you are shocked, and that you are sorry to let them down, you are going through the most difficult time in your life, and you really need their support.
   • Willing to answer any question. Parents will ask a lot of questions, so it's best to prepare answers in advance so you don't get surprised.

2. 

   
   
   Predict parents' reactions. Once you've figured out how to express your feelings and what to say, you need to anticipate how your parents will react. This will depend on many factors, such as how they handled the bad news in the past, whether your pregnancy was a complete shock to them, and what their values ​​were. . Consider the following:
   • Did they know you had sex? If you've had sex for a few months or years, but your parents don't know anything, they'll be more surprised than if they doubted or even knew your behavior.
   • What are their living values? Do they have an open mind about premarital sex, or do they think you must definitely not have sex until you are married or engaged?
   • How did they react to the bad news in the past? Even if you've never reported such shocking news to your parents, rethink how they reacted to other bad situations in the past. How did they react when you reported you failed a test or scratched your car?
   • If your parents have ever reacted in the past, you should not report this to them alone. Ask a trusted and open-minded relative to stay by your side when you tell your parents, or even take them to your doctor or teacher for the news.
   • You can practice chatting with a close friend. Chances are that you've told your best friend the story of your pregnancy, not only will they know how your parents will react, but they can also help rehearse the conversation. From there, you will learn more about how your loved ones will react.

3. 

   
   
   Choose a good time to chat. It's important to let your parents know at the right time, so choose an ideal date and time so that they can accept it. Consider the following suggestions:
   • Don't be too nervous. If you say, "I have something very important to tell my parents. When can I talk?", Then they will want to talk to you right away, and then you don't have one. preparation. Instead, be very calm and say, "I have something to tell you. When do you have time for me?"
   • Pick a time when your parents are completely focused on you. Choose a time when your parents are at home and don't plan to go out for dinner, not have to pick up your brother from soccer training or plan to hang out with friends. After they talk to you, they really need time to think through the news.
   • Choose the time when your parents are least stressed. If your parents are often stressed or tired coming home from work, wait until after dinner, when they relax a little, to start a conversation. If it seems like your parents are stressed out all week, talk to them on the weekends. Saturday would be more appropriate than Sunday, because on Sunday night maybe parents will have to worry about work next week.
   • Choose a time that benefits you. While you should choose the time that best suits your parents, don't forget to consider your own feelings. Choose a time when you're not too tired after a week of study and when you don't have to worry about the important test the next day.
   • If you want someone to be present, choose a time that suits that person as well. If you want your boyfriend to be present, this is a very risky decision and you need to make sure that it will make the situation more comfortable instead of making it worse.
   • Don't delay the conversation for too long. Choosing the optimal timing will help you have a smooth conversation, but delaying a few weeks because everyone is busy and stressed will only make things worse.
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Part 2 of 2: Inform parents

1. 

   
   
   Inform parents. This is the hardest part of the plan. No matter what you have to say and anticipate your parents' reactions, and whether you've chosen the best time to talk, this is still one of the toughest conversations in the world. your life.
   • Relax. You've probably thought about this conversation a thousand times. However, realize that what you anticipate is usually the worst case scenario. Usually, you will get 100 times more positive feedback from your parents than you might think. Relaxation will help make the situation more comfortable.
   • Make parents feel comfortable. Even if you normally chat with your parents less often, you can smile, ask if they are okay, and reassure them by patting their hand before you speak out.
   • Say, "I have something very difficult to tell my parents. I'm pregnant." You need to speak clearly and firmly.
   • Maintain eye contact and open body language. Show your friendliness when you tell your parents.
   • Express your feelings. Usually the parents will be so shocked that they cannot immediately respond. Let them know how you feel about your pregnancy. Let them know that this is also difficult for you.

2. 

   Prepare to listen. When you tell your parents, they react strongly. Whether angry, emotional, confused, hurt, or suspicious, it will take your parents time to take in the information. Stay calm and listen to their opinions without interrupting.
   • Reassure your parents. Even though you are an adult, your parents have just learned this important news so you need to support them.
   • Answer the question. If you are prepared, you will be able to answer questions honestly and calmly.
   • Ask how your parents feel. If they are shocked to the point of silence, give them time to take in the information, then ask how they feel. If your parent doesn't share it after you have confessed your feelings, it may not be easy to talk more.
   • Don't get angry if your parents are angry. Remember they just received this life-changing news.

3. 

   Discuss the next step. Once you and your parents have shared each other's feelings at the news, it's time to determine what you need to do next.If there is disagreement, it becomes more difficult. However, keep in mind that now you are relieved to have confided in and be able to find a solution with your parents.
   • You may not be able to immediately discuss the next steps in the conversation. Your parents will need time to calm down and it will take time to control your emotions.
   • Remember that even though this crisis is perhaps the most difficult thing you have ever experienced, you and your family will get stronger by solving problems together.
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Advice

• Remember that your parents love you no matter what. Even if the conversation will be extremely difficult, it will ultimately strengthen the affection between your parents and you.
• If you insist on having your boyfriend present when you talk to your parents, make sure they have seen him and known about his presence. The presence of a stranger but involved in a family affair will only make parents more uncomfortable.
• Prepare mentally when parents get angry. You need to have a plan in case your parents kick you out of the house or ask you to have an abortion or adopt a child, though this usually won't happen.

Warning

• If your parents have a history of violence, do not report this to them while you are alone. Take them to see your doctor or teacher.
• If you are not sure if you should keep the baby, try to have a conversation as soon as possible to decide what you should do next. If you want to have an abortion, the longer you delay the delay, the higher your health risks will be.