Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Is it hard for you to get along with your friends, relatives, or lover? Do you feel looked down on or manipulated when you are with them? If that is the case, then you may be encountering some poisonous people in your life. Malicious people require special attention in order to thrive, if you allow them to do so. There are a few techniques you can use to learn how to take care of yourself and deal with a harmful relationship.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Knowing toxic people in life

1. 

   Watch for basic signs of poisoning. Toxicity can be manifested in a variety of ways. Maybe your friend is a poisonous person without your knowledge. Here are a few signs of a person engaging in harmful behavior:
   • They shape and surround themselves with human-to-person problems.
   • They try to manipulate and manipulate you.
   • They are needy and need your attention.
   • They criticize themselves and others.
   • They are not willing to help or try to change.

2. 

   
   
   Beware of people who are often angry. Another form of poisoning is constant anger. This type of person is very annoying and will resent you for the smallest things. It will feel as though you need to be extra careful to keep them from getting mad at you. You need to recognize the traits of an angry person so you can learn how to respond appropriately. Here are a few signs of an angry person:
   • Scold others.
   • Threaten others.
   • Question others with hostile questions.
   • Often using heavy, intense language.

3. 

   
   
   Be careful of someone who is sarcastic and makes you sad. Another form of toxicity has been shown in ridiculous people. This type of person possesses a negative view of the world. This attitude spreads to every aspect of their lives and they have difficulty being positive. They are people you can hardly get close to because they have tons of negative thoughts. The sarcasm usually:
   • Constantly complaining about his life.
   • Never be satisfied with your manners towards them.
   • Can't contribute any positives to the relationship.

4. 

   
   
   Evaluate how you feel around other people. A useful way to determine if someone is malicious is to pay attention to how you feel around them. You can "check in" at certain times while with these people. You should ask yourself the following question:
   • Am I feeling exhausted right now? Is that person exhausting their emotions?
   • Am I doing my best not to make them angry? Am I afraid that I will say something wrong because they will react negatively?
   • Am I ignoring my own voice? Is the person making it difficult for me to listen to myself and follow my own values?

5. 

   Seek a second perspective. You may be so close to the person that it is difficult to tell if they are truly poisonous. Maybe they're just going through a tough time. Consult a friend or other with good judgment to see if they think the person is malicious. This method will help you pay attention to harmful people in your life.
   • Your judgment is a great source of information, but sometimes, when we get too close to a situation, it can be difficult to give an unbiased opinion.
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Part 2 of 3: Chatting with malicious people

1. 

   Express yourself effectively. Since stress can often happen in friendships and relationships, it's important to express your feelings clearly. When you take responsibility and examine your feelings, you will be able to deal with stress smoothly. In addition, having an emotional conversation gives the other person an opportunity to express their feelings, and helps you both overcome your different feelings together.
   • Start by listening. Make sure you understand what the person is saying before you argue with your own point of view.
   • Use "I" statements. A simple way to avoid being overly confronted is to let the other person know about what you are experiencing rather than talk about their wrongdoing. For example, you should say something like, "When you're late on a coffee date, I feel like you're not taking my time seriously", instead of "You're always late and this is the action. very rude ".

2. 

   Tell them about the treatment you hope to receive. It sounds quite strange, sometimes, people are not understanding of acceptable behavior. Acceptable behavior toward one person may be upsetting to another. In order for others to understand what behavior you can tolerate, you must be straightforward and clear.
   • For example, if arriving late on a coffee date is a frustrating act, let them know. They may not be aware of the influence their behavior has on you.
   • If the person is truly malicious, this tactic won't work, but it's a pretty good way to set boundaries regardless of the situation.

3. 

   Speak firmly and decisively. This usually involves an effective argumentation process, but assertive communication is something you can do on a regular basis, whether you are arguing or not. Becoming an assertive talker will improve your communication and relationships.
   • Try to identify areas you can improve on. You may be vulnerable and others tend to trample you, especially if they have a malicious personality. Identifying the area in which you are struggling is the first step.
   • Reconsider tactics for specific situations. Perhaps the malicious friend asked for your money and you can hardly refuse. What can you do in this situation? Can you rehearse the simple answer in case they continue to borrow money from you in the future? For example, you could say "I care about you, but can't lend you more money".
   • Practice assertive responses in life. You can use some techniques like "repetition", which is where you keep repeating your sentence if the other person argues with you. Start small if it is difficult for you, for example saying no (when appropriate) to a non-toxic relative or friend.

4. 

   Protect yourself from harm. Be aware of what is going on in your relationship with the harmful person. For example, you should avoid seeing everything they say to their superficial values ​​if you know well that they tend to be harsh on you and to criticize you. You should protect yourself in these relationships, if you choose to continue with them, by developing their verbal awareness, how they behave in front of you, and the feelings they bring. back to you.
   • For example, if they conclude about you like "you were never there for me" analyze what they say. Is it true or not? Can you think of an example to prove that it is not correct? Poisonous people often like to make exaggerated conclusions or "eat it all, fall back nothing". You need to think seriously about what they are telling you.

5. 

   Sorry when applicable. Even if someone is malicious, this doesn't mean you are always right and that they are always wrong. You should acknowledge your mistake and apologize when you feel the same way. Even if they don't accept your apology or rarely apologize, at least you know that you've done your best to be a good friend or spouse.
   • You can also leave a positive impression on the person. This is called modeling, or showing them healthier behavior than they normally practice.
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Part 3 of 3: Treatment with harmful people

1. 

   Set and maintain boundaries. In general, boundaries are important, but they can become especially important when you're dealing with malicious people. Malicious people often take advantage of someone who possesses ambiguous boundaries and lacks assertiveness. Here are a few ways to help you better keep boundaries:
   • Recognize and act on how you feel. Avoid indulging in the harmful emotions. Pay attention to your feelings and needs friend.
   • Allow yourself to be tough. Many people feel guilty about setting too hard boundaries. However, taking care of yourself is also very important. Avoid ignoring yourself for others. Learning how to say no will not make you a bad guy.

2. 

   Listen to your instincts. For some people, it can be easy for them to defend the malicious person. In your heart, you know well that the person is not nice to you or is taking advantage of you. Avoid rationalizing your instincts or advocating for their behavior. Let your instincts come to the fore, because they know the problem ahead and understand your needs better than you might think.

3. 

   Get help. You must learn to recognize when is enough and when you need help. Reach out to close friends or family members you trust to help you. If you want to maintain a relationship with a malicious person, make sure you make use of your support system. Make self-care a priority. Being devoted to others is not the best way to help them.

4. 

   Take responsibility for your own actions. Try to appreciate the type of relationship you have and how it affects you. Many people who continue to be friends with poisonous people often have a "like to please others" personality, meaning they want to be loved and want to feel as if they are supporting others. It's not wrong to be supportive, but it's important to have a clear understanding of what's going on so that you can build a more realistic picture of the situation. If the situation is hurting you, you need to be clear. If it allows and prevents others from making changes, you also need to know about it. You should ask yourself the following questions to determine if you are excessively supporting:
   • Am I an everyday person trying to maintain communication?
   • Do I often act as the "mediator" trying to deal with difficult and stressful situations?
   • Do I sometimes feel as though I'm following the person, dealing with responsibilities, or helping behind my back to avoid making them angry or confronting them?

5. 

   Turn around and walk away. In the end, you will probably need to end a relationship with someone if it is a toxic relationship.Removing someone from life would be a painful experience, but in the case of a toxic person, short-term pain is healthier than lasting pain. Allowing the harmful person to stay in life affects your self-esteem, financial situation, emotional balance, and other relationships. If the damage is too great, maybe it's time to create an escape plan. advertisement

Advice

• Respond with hostility with empathy. This exemplary behavior will help you feel more positive about yourself.

Warning

• Avoid participating in their games. If you get the feeling that you are being pulled, take a step back and assess your contribution to the situation.