Content

• Steps

It can be difficult to deal with cheating. If you find out that your girlfriend is cheating on you, you will find it difficult to trust her again and move on. In order to cope, you need to assess whether the relationship is worth saving, communicate openly with her about moving forward, and seek emotional support from the side. friends and professional therapists.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Situation assessment

1. 

   Ask yourself a few specific questions. After you have been cheated on, the first step is to assess the relationship and determine if it is worth it for you to continue. You need to ask yourself a few specific questions to make a decision. Remember to be as honest as possible with yourself.
   • Has your girlfriend cheated on you in the past? For many people, lying is an irresistible behavior that doesn't stop. If the deception was not from a specific relationship but because she had a problem with an affair, and this is not personal, you will be more likely to accept and let go of it.
   • Why is she cheating? Although many people think that cheating is still a lie, the truth is that the underlying reason for cheating is of great significance. A one-night affair, purely out of physical temptation, is more forgiving than a long stealthy affair, in which your girlfriend begins to bond emotionally with others. Try to put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself how you will feel.
   • What was your relationship in when the deception occurred? If your relationship is in trouble, and you know she is unhappy, cheating will be easier to understand. Are the two often taking advantage of each other? Does she want to have her emotional needs satisfied outside of a relationship? If that is the case, can the problem be solved, or is it that the two need to end their relationship and move on?

2. 

   
   
   Learn about sex addiction. Educating yourself about the factors that drive cheating will make it easier for you to sympathize with and forgive your girlfriend. If she has cheated on a lot of boyfriends in the past, find out about your sexual addiction and what causes it.
   • Sexual addiction behavior is a term applied to a variety of sexual activities that fall outside the norm of society, including some forms of cheating. Adultery is often seen as sex addiction only if it is a framework of behavior that the person performs without thinking, and is capable of bringing many risks to them.
   • If she has cheated on many of her lovers in the past, she may be addicted to doing this. Once you have time to calm down, ask your loved one if she feels she has the ability to control her sexual impulses, and if she is interested in her sexual experience. or not. If the answer is no, she is probably suffering from a mental disorder that requires treatment.
   • Remember, not all deception is a sign of addiction. It is important not to automatically treat cheating as a disorder. If your girlfriend cheats on you because of a relationship problem, or if she's polyamorous and not interested in a monogamous relationship, accusing her of having a disorder will look like seems pretty emotionless. She may feel as though you are judging and ignoring the more relevant issue that caused her to cheat.

3. 

   
   
   Seek help from everyone around. It can be difficult to get over the effects of the deception on your own feelings alone. Friends and family members will help you talk about it and better understand your feelings.
   • Talk to friends and loved ones you trust, whom you know they won't judge. Let them know what happened and ask them for emotional support. They can offer advice, but politely let them know that you're just trying to understand your feelings and don't need them to guide you on how to move forward.
   • Don't be hateful. You can seek help from everyone around you, but don't tell her mom, best friend, or co-worker about your relationship problems. Choose someone you had a relationship with before getting to know the person you loved.

4. 

   
   
   Consider an open relationship. Some people are polyamorous. This means that they have difficulty maintaining affection with a single partner, and they will want to find someone who is open to establishing feelings and having sex with others outside of their current relationship. If this is the problem your girlfriend is having, consider whether you can tolerate an open relationship.
   • Polyamorous and open relationships come in many different forms. Some people simply want to seek sexual abuse from someone other than their current boyfriend or girlfriend, while others want to have multiple partners and partners at the same time. Decide which element of open relationships (if any) you will be comfortable with before doing so.
   • Communication is key to success in an open relationship. In a polygamous community, many emphasis is on discussing boundaries, respect, and expectations.If you want to open up to your crush, make sure you and your girlfriend talk to each other carefully about what an open relationship means to you both.
   • Remember, it's not wrong to not have an open relationship. There is nothing wrong with monogamous relationships. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of ​​an open relationship, pursuing it can hurt you. If you and the person you love have different ideas about being monogamous, this could be a sign that the two of you won't get along in the long run.
   advertisement

Part 2 of 3: Interacting with your girlfriend

1. 

   Allow your partner to have space. If you just learned that your girlfriend is cheating on you, you are probably in a very sensitive phase. Give each other some space after the secret has been revealed so that you both have time to think.
   • Your impulse may be to keep her with you so she doesn't cheat again. However, it can be difficult to examine your feelings about the relationship when you see your crush every day.
   • Use this time to reconsider what you want. What are you absolutely not wanting to give up in this relationship? What are you willing to change? Identify your own wants and needs so that you can talk about them when you meet your significant other in the future.

2. 

   Build an open, honest conversation. You need to discuss what is going on with the person. Whether or not you decide to solve the problem, an open and sincere conversation is important to conclusion.
   • Listen as she talks, even if it's difficult. Use verbal or non-verbal cue to express your attention. Maintain eye contact, lean toward her, nod and make occasional comments when she stops. Stay away from noisy places, like choosing a noisy cafe to chat with. This will interfere with effective communication.
   • Ask meaningful questions. What issues cause conflict between you and your ex? What factors form disappointment, pain? What makes you happy and makes you feel connected? How would you like the communication between the two to change?
   • Please respect. This will be a heartbreaking discussion for both of you and you should be able to communicate politely and effectively. Speak politely. Start your sentences with "you" instead of "you" to avoid sounding like you're blaming her. Take turns presenting ideas and don't dwell on a topic for too long. If you've been discussing a subject for more than 15 minutes, it's time to go ahead and revisit the topic later.

3. 

   Be prepared to change yourself, if needed. Depending on why your girlfriend cheated, there may be other relationship issues you both need to work on. While this doesn't mean that cheating is your fault, it's simply that you are taking care of what factors you will need to adjust to yourself.
   • Be sure to have a good understanding of why she cheats. Even if it can be painful to face it, it is possible that certain elements of your relationship are going in the wrong direction. You and your significant other need to find specific goals for the relationship between you and the other, and that means you may have to change the way you do things.
   • It will take a while to change. Realize that even if you are willing to change, things will be quite different at first and it will take time and commitment to heal a broken relationship.

4. 

   Make decisions for the relationship's future. Ultimately, you will have to decide if you can forgive the deception and move forward.
   • Sometimes, the needs or desires of both of you are eliminated and this is the cause of adultery. If your girlfriend has different sexual desires or preferences, the two of you are simply not compatible. If you have full confidence in monogamous relationships and your girlfriend is eager to build an open relationship, maybe it's time to move on.
   • Boredom is another factor that leads to the end of a relationship. Discovering new elements about the person you love is important for long-term relationships, but if you both stop growing during getting to know each other, this is a sign that it's no longer possible. to bring results. Lack of interest and personal growth are both signs that your relationship has no future.
   • Conversely, if you and her have the ability to find something that brings both happiness and comfort, without compromising anyone's essential needs, you can move on. customary relationship. However, moving forward while being aware of the existing stress and lack of trust can create bigger problems after an affair. It will take a long time for things to return to normal.
   advertisement

Part 3 of 3: Moving forward

1. 

   Get tested for STDs. You both need to be tested for a sexually transmitted infection (STD) after she has an affair.
   • Adulterers often don't care about the process of having safe sex. You need to go to the hospital for comprehensive STD testing.
   • Ask her to also get tested. You should have healthy sexual health before you can continue having sex, especially if you are not using a condom or other protection.

2. 

   See a therapist. You should both go see a therapist together if you want to continue the relationship after the affair.
   • The therapist will help the couple solve the difficult problem together. Discussing a difficult topic in the presence of a trained therapist will help you both get the feeling that your needs are being presented in a calm, respectful manner. You can also ask any questions you may have about cheating that you are not comfortable discussing directly with your girlfriend.
   • If she is hesitant to see a therapist, you can do it yourself. Even without her presence, you can still solve some of your problems.

3. 

   Build a new relationship. After cheating, the relationship will not be the same. The two of you need to work hard together to build a new relationship.
   • Adultery will be the underlying problem for a while, and you need to work through the pain you are feeling consciously. Obsessing over adultery is harmful to healthy relationships. A therapist or counselor will help you get out of the trap of constantly thinking about your partner's affair.
   • Try to consider every issue from a positive perspective. Although the initial innocence and belief are lost, the two of you have survived a great mistake and are still a couple. This shows that your feelings are strong and that you now have a chance to build a new, healthier relationship.
   advertisement