Content

• Steps
• Advice

What, she cheated on you? Unbelievable. Nothing hits your trust and feels so much about honesty. Maybe you still can't understand where things went wrong and why she did it. However, do not rush to react or make any decisions. Please consider carefully and gather information to make the right decisions.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Find answers to your relationship

1. 

   Consider the factors in the relationship. For some people, cheating is not an unchanging nature, they choose it when the relationship cannot bring feelings of satisfaction inside. The more dissatisfied, the more likely the person will deceive you. Factors such as education, personality, and lifestyle can also affect the loyalty of a relationship.
   • Reflect on your relationships and what might be interrupting that you didn't notice. Sometimes, even though you are truly in love, you cannot connect deeply with someone else.

2. 

   
   
   Consider whether she feels taken for granted or ignored. Whether they want to be "girlfriends", "wives" or "lovers", some women feel like they are "mothers", "providers" or "partners" - to you, they just someone with practical meaning and there was no intimate connection between the two. Then, feelings of imperfection may surround them.
   • In love, it is easy for us to take things for granted and then distract and fade our inherent bonds. Ask yourself if you have fixed her in a certain role. Do you appreciate what she has done for you, for this relationship and show that appreciation? Do you share and show her your charms? Would you tell her how great your love is?

3. 

   
   
   Talk about cheating. When your partner cheats on you, you may find clues from friends or herself. If she confesses frankly, listen. If the issue is revealed from someone else, before you get into questioning your girlfriend, consider their trustworthiness. If you think it's true, no matter how painful, face her frankly. That is the best way to find the truth.
   • If you actively raise the issue, define your approach. Make time with her and try to calmly approach the matter. Always prepare and write questions in advance. Let's say you're very confused and want to know what's really going on. Please ask. What happen? What is the situation like? Happened and how long ago? Was there something wrong in the relationship between the two? In spite of the pain, always encourage honesty and openness.

4. 

   
   
   Express your feelings. Perhaps before the exchange, the rage is always boiling waiting in you. Put all your anger, pain, and disappointment on the page without being afraid of any judgment from yourself or anyone else. And then, burn them. Once you're ready to talk, don't blame her directly. Use the "I" statement when you can: this is not the time to condemn - this is the time to express your feelings.
   • Instead of blaming: "Unbelievable! She made me suffer so much ", say:" I'm really in pain with what you did ".
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Part 2 of 3: Getting to know her motives

1. 

   Consider your girlfriend's personality. Some people choose to cheat more easily than others. "Once betrayed, whole life is a traitor" is a familiar saying used to refer to a person's personality. Human factors can include personal values, moral range, empathy, and impulsiveness.
   • Recognize if your girlfriend has cheated on the subject or has been disheartened. She could be a "mass cheater".

2. 

   Consider whether or not your girlfriend is deliberately cheating to hurt you. When she's angry at you, she may take revenge by cheating or cheating on you. Maybe she did it just in response or purposely hurting you.
   • Asking your girlfriend if cheating is her act of revenge or retaliation.

3. 

   Ask about circumstances factors. In some cases, the incredibly authoritarian ends up deceiving you. That is because circumstances factors such as being surrounded by countless attractive subjects or work that requires touching, personal contact with others have pushed them. Despite being very happy, circumstances can cause the person to forget about reason and get caught up in a wrong relationship.
   • Ask your girlfriend what happened. Maybe she was willing to confess the moment of weakness due to circumstances. This is especially true if you believe the two of you are really happy and that she is too. Do not forget to be human, who makes no mistake. It's just that, in this case, it was a huge mistake.

4. 

   Find out if deception is escape. Some people turn to alcohol to avoid their problems. For others, it is possible that the problem (whether personal or in a relationship) is too painful to deal with and as a result they run away through other means, such as cheating. Instead of facing the problem, she may have resorted to deception stimulation to feel better without considering the full consequences.
   • Ask her about the problems she is having and if you can work it out together. Ask if there is anything she wants to say or show that she is too ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it.

5. 

   Ask if cheating is a way of letting go of your relationship. Some people are with someone to be loved and to seek support from. At the same time, they find it difficult to let go of their hands when they realize that love is no longer there. Your girlfriend may have noticed that she no longer loves you but is still staying for certain needs. Or, maybe the needs had changed but she was still afraid to let go.
   • Seriously discuss what is best and whether the relationship should end. Ask if there are any parts of her that no longer want this relationship.
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Part 3 of 3: Continuing with the relationship

1. 

   Decide whether to break up or not. If you feel the wound can't heal or you can't trust her any more, break up. Know that continuing to be together hurts and that you won't stop being reminded or tormented about her betrayal. Can you move on with her, or better yet, should this relationship end? They are both painful choices.
   • If you feel you can never trust her again, it's not fair to take full control of her private life (texts, emails, calls, etc.): that would be a punishment for the whole family. two.

2. 

   Build new foundations. If the decision remains together, find a new and meaningful way to re-establish the connection between the two. Perhaps the two of you still love and care about each other but don't know how to express it to the other party. Possibly, other life problems have begun to become more important than this relationship. Together, determined to cultivate in meaningful ways. Realizing that refreshing is not her duty, you also need to contribute to building a new foundation for the relationship between the two of you.
   • For more information about moving on after being cheated, check out our article How to deal with a cheating partner.

3. 

   Forgive. In particular, if you still want to be with her, learn to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't mean she's easy or the behavior is completely okay. Forgive, you no longer focus on attacking others. It frees you from existential pain. You may feel like a helpless victim. Forgiveness allows you to take control of your own emotions. Find ways to forgive so that you are no longer helpless, so you can deal with your inner feelings and then let them go.
   • Even when you decide to break up, embracing the pain and the hurt won't do you any good. Give up.
   • For more information, check out articles on how to forgive cheaters.

4. 

   Consider your relationship limitations. What it means to communicate with that person is to deceive and set limits. Most people agree that sex is considered treachery. To another person, flirting, touching, kissing or having an informal conversation was also a lie. Work out these limits with your girlfriend.
   • Some people choose an open relationship - meaning intimacy isn't limited to just two people. In this case, clarifying the limit is also essential. Deception persists in open relationships and trust is really important.

5. 

   Seek treatment. If you agree that your relationship needs adjusting and still want to persevere but don't know where to start, seek out a counselor. Love, marriage, and family counseling sessions will help you to rebuild trust, cope with betrayal, and nurture new relationships.
   • For more information, check out our article on choosing a therapist.
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Advice

• Alcohol should not be used as an excuse for deception. Even so, consider whether she wasn't conscious enough to think deeply.
• Consider the possibility of actually being able to continue with the relationship, regardless of whether she cheats again or not.
• See if you need to make some adjustments in the relationship that led to her cheating.
• Don't call her "slut", "whore", "junkie" or any offensive words just for cheating on you. The act does not necessarily mean she is one of those "things". Cursing won't help you and will only hurt her.
• Don't tell her what to wear, who to talk to, where to go and how to behave.
• Consider testing for a sexually transmitted infection (STI).