Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

A negative friend can become a dark force in your life. On the one hand, you value many things about him or her and want to help them become more positive.On the other hand, he / she can depress you and drag you into their world. Learn how to properly deal with a negative friend so that you can empathize and eliminate the negativity in his life.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Dealing with negativity

1. 

   Do not criticize your friend. Criticizing your negative behavior will only make him feel worse and may turn to you. Criticism is difficult to accept for everyone, especially those with negative thoughts and feelings swirling in their heads. Trying to keep him informed about his behavior only increases the tension and makes him feel like attacking. Give him a supportive environment as best as you can.

2. 

   
   
   Take responsibility for your own happiness. If you let your happiness depend on a negative person, nothing is worse. Keep some distance between your feelings and the negativity of your ex. Avoid feeling that solving his problems will lead you to be happy and slowly sink into his world.

3. 

   
   
   Show your own positivity. One of the most effective ways to help a negative person as well as yourself is to maintain your positivity against his negativity. This will keep you happy and at the same time help him see a different way of seeing and behaving about life.
   • Pause. Humans have the ability to "capture" emotions; in other words, the mood around you also affects you somewhat. Even if you are a passionate person, if you stay around negativity for too long, it will be difficult to maintain your positive appearance. Take a break from meeting that negative friend from time to time.
   • Another way to stay positive is to maintain an awareness of your personal feelings. When you begin to get overwhelmed by your negative emotions, check in and remind yourself that that's not what you want. For example, "I started to feel frustrated about the service quality of the restaurant because my friends kept complaining about it once every five minutes. I don't have a problem. This annoyance is not. mine." If you focus on the thought, you will maintain your own positive side.
   • Use humor. We tend to focus on the negative side of a situation, so distorting the negative experience with humor can help counter your brain's natural impulses. The next time he starts chattering, humorously change the subject: "Your car suddenly went bad and you had to jog in time for the bus? Shit! But recently heard you say that you are getting fat. Watch it as you exercise! "
   • Remind yourself when his negativity becomes irrational. You can easily maintain your positivity if you don't get caught up in unreasonable negativity. For example, if your friend complains that you ruined the night just by choosing to watch 2D movies over 3D, don't believe it. You have the right to watch a movie and enjoy the whole evening. Stay away from the "trap" of his unreasonable thought.

4. 

   
   
   Don't agree with your friend's negativity. Becoming negative together is really fascinating. Studies show that people prefer to engage in uninteresting activities with their friends rather than perform an interesting activity on their own. However, in favor of negativity only makes it worse. He'll think that makes sense and you're pushing your friend deeper into the puddle of negative mud.

5. 

   Please understand. Science proves that compassion is the key to success in human behavior. There are many good emotional and physical benefits associated with compassion, such as being able to overcome stress and become more socially integrated. Social relationships have its own benefits, one of which is to boost your immune system. Kindness also helps those around it. When you act kind to people, you will arouse compassion within them. When you give away without planning, you will be a good example for others to follow. Essentially, compassion is the great thing that keeps you and the people around you healthy.
   • For example, you are looking for a way to help your friend. If his car breaks down, let him hitchhike or push the side to a nearby auto repair shop. If he suffers resentment from family members, be a place for him to share his feelings. Small actions will create a big impact in the lives of both.

6. 

   Protect yourself. Obviously “taking a break from playing” with a friend is uncomfortable, but sometimes it's the best option. You are a good person to want to get rid of the negativity and honestly accept a friend regardless of the fact that he always has a dark cloud overhead. However, you are not a bad person if you realize that the cloud is too large and need to say goodbye. In this case, don't feel guilty, you should only take care of yourself by avoiding the pit of negativity.
   • Sometimes your friend's negativity can trigger difficult or painful times in your past. For example, if you have had an addicting past where your friend keeps complaining about her family wanting her to give up drugs, this will arouse the suffering that you have experienced. If this friend continues to "hit the mind" or poke into your pain, then you should not keep that relationship.

7. 

   Consider seeing a psychiatrist. This can be especially helpful if you really don't want to give up on your friend but are having trouble coping with his negativity. A psychologist will show you effective coping strategies, ways to cover your thoughts in a healthier and more positive life.
   • If the person's negativity becomes severe, such as talking about suicidal intentions or self-harm, you should talk to trusted people right away (parent, teacher or teacher). competent persons). The problem is beyond your means now.
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Method 2 of 3: Communicate effectively with a negative friend

1. 

   Think about every word you will say. The last thing you want for your negative friend is to be overly critical and hostile. If you want to let them know that you see how they perceive the problem to be overly negative, then "choose your words to please each other".
   • Considering between the two statements "I" and "You", the structure "I" will bring more efficiency. For example, if you say "Stop being pessimistic" it will be harder to hear instead of "I don't see this that much." The phrase "I" hears less judgment and makes the listener more receptive.

2. 

   Be careful with how it looks. What you say is not the most important factor. Tone and non-verbal actions are equally important. Screaming or swinging around and dancing to persuade only makes the negativity stronger, so please "use restraint."
   • Being cautious "eye-to-eye" and nodding to what your friend says you agree with are great ways to create a positive interaction.
   • Maintain a calm tone of voice. Stay calm whenever your friend blows out a problem to help him realize that there is always more than one way to react to things.

3. 

   Track your speaking speed. Science has shown that talking slowly will make others feel like you are "caring and sympathetic." Pay attention to speed as you speak to help you promote positive communication with your friend and keep yourself from falling into that person's negative spiral.

4. 

   Continue to strengthen yourself. You want to reach out with compassion and positivity, not that you let yourself be overwhelmed by them. Sometimes a negative person will try to steer your point of view. Maintain a firm stance when it comes to your freedom in self-expression and your right to a distinct personal opinion. Be assertive about the needs of all involved, not just an individual.
   • Clearly express your ambitions, wants, and needs.Use affirmative language so that the other person cannot object. For example, say, “Your behavior makes you feel uncomfortable. I'm going, but we can talk to you later if you want. ”
   • Include sympathy. For example, "I know you still want to talk about this, but I feel a bit annoyed about it, so I'm going."
   • Set boundaries. For example, "I would be willing to hear you complaining for five minutes, but then let's talk about something else so that we don't get so deep in the gloom."

5. 

   Conversation redirection. If he starts to chew negatively over and over, switch to something you know will make him happy. It is easier and more effective to distract a story than it is to try to fight the negativity.
   • For example, if your friend is upset about losing his wallet, ask if he wants to go out for coffee or watch a movie. You can say, "Come on, I invite!".
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Method 3 of 3: Understand the negativity

1. 

   Recognize pessimism. Pessimism is a life orientation in which everything will turn out to be pessimistic. The people who live this way of life have mostly seen things in their lives one after another become really bad. Pessimists tend to be negative because they have the ability to quickly eliminate ideas and possibilities. You just need to know that, these people seem to have had a past with all the bad things, so through their lens, everything becomes pessimistic.
   • People with a negative outlook believe that positive thinkers are "deceiving themselves" or not being aware of problems in life. You can encourage them to learn to think more positively by being a role model of optimism through your interactions.
   • For example, a friend with a pessimistic outlook on life says, "I don't need to go to the poll because I bet I never get it." A person who does not accept the truth will reply, "You will definitely get it! You are the best!" While this may sound positive, it is of no use as it clearly lacks reality and does not address their real anxiety.
   • Therefore, optimism must go hand in hand with the fact: "Maybe you are not the best of the candidates ... but you will not be able to know your ability if you do not dare to try. You have. There are quite a few qualities that suit the requirements. Why hesitate? "

2. 

   Look for signs of depression. Depression is a psychological disorder characterized by symptoms such as feeling hopeless, feeling dissatisfied, and growing tired. Depression is the source of many negativity; Understand this, you will be more sympathetic to your friend who is falling apart. There are many different factors that cause depression that are out of our control such as genetics, family circumstances and peer influences. People who are depressed often have difficulty concentrating their energies to do anything. Because they have to endure the feeling of fatigue and their "down" mood, they always feel unhappy and negative.
   • People with severe depression cannot "pull away" from their bad feelings. However, depression can be treated with psychotherapy and medication.
   • Other signs of depression include: feeling often sad or upset; angry outburst; losing interest in past interests; weight, appetite associated with sleep tend to change; feel guilty or unworthy; or think about hurting yourself, wanting to die.

3. 

   Talk to your partner about depression. This syndrome is a serious factor that can make it difficult for a person to control their emotions and live a happy, healthy life. You can't "cure" your friend's depression, but if you recognize the signs and feel anxious, talk to him to show concern and encourage them to find solutions.
   • Always use "I" clauses, such as "You stay indoors lately. I'm a bit worried. Do you have a word?"
   • Ask questions. Don't assume you know what's going on. Instead, ask them questions like "Have you been like this? What happened to make you like this?"
   • Ready to help. Let her know that you are caring and willing to help her. Usually, people with depression find themselves very useless. Tell her you care and it is for her, "I really appreciate this friendship. Even if you don't want to talk right now, I'm always here, you can confide whenever you are. want!"
   • Depressed people often react hotly or agitatedly to other people's attempts to help. So do not rush to feel self-deprecating, nor try to forcefully influence the controversial issue.

4. 

   Watch for signs of anxiety syndrome. Anxiety can make a person depressed or easily agitated. These people will feel powerless in their own lives, frightened by what seems normal to others. Most of the time they are worried about their fears that they may have a problem in their thoughts or their ability to focus on anything. People who suffer from anxiety frequently can become grumpy and suddenly attack others more than normal people, creating more negative energy in their lives.
   • If your friend worries about everything and is constantly "out of control" in her life, she may have anxiety syndrome problems.
   • Like depression, anxiety is a serious, but treatable, psychological disorder. You can't "change" your ex's anxiety, but you can show him that you care and want to help.

5. 

   Encourage him to find solutions to his anxiety treatment. People with heavy anxiety often think that they cannot control something, and they become even more anxious. They believe that going to therapy is a sign of weakness, that they are "depressed." Remind him by encouraging that seeking treatment is only one sign that he is strong and caring.
   • Use the phrase "I" when talking to your ex about their worries. Don't make her feel bad by saying, "You should improve this." Instead, reassure yourself and say kind things, like "I see you seem worried and nervous lately. Are you okay?"

6. 

   Understand their insecurities and self-esteem. Most people who feel insecure or have a hard time adjusting to it will have a hard time becoming optimistic and responding well to positive events. Like a sort of defensive instinct, they always suspect they'll be rejected or more hurt. Contrary to misconceptions, understanding the underlying causes will help you cope more effectively than oppose their instincts. You can help your friend build self-esteem in the following ways:
   • Give her positive feedback. It took a long time for people to overcome their defensive instincts. Any time you see a small improvement, be happy to tell your friend about it. For example, "We are very happy that you will go shopping today! Come with you, I feel relieved because your aesthetic eyes are impeccable."
   • Encourage your friend. Overcoming the negativity is very difficult, she can still come back. Encourage her to try new methods.
   • Listen. Many people may feel narcissistic because others are not listening or interested in them. Spend time listening to your ex, understanding his concerns, and sharing your ideas. This will help him / her become more confident in life knowing that someone values ​​her.

7. 

   Realize that negativity is only part of your subconscious mind. We tend to think of negative behavior as an option, but this is more complicated than you might think.Negativity, whether stemming from depression, pessimism, anxiety, restlessness or anything else, is something no one can fully control. There are many things we can do to reduce negativity in our lives, except to judge the negativity of others because sometimes it will make things worse.
   • Remember that you cannot "fix" their problems. However, you are here to help. Just don't forget to take care of yourself.
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Advice

• Suggest that they see a psychiatrist if you think your friend is having emotional problems.

Warning

• Don't say bad things behind your friend's back. That is unkind and meaningless behavior.