Content

• Steps
• Warning

If you feel restless because your relationship is on the brink, it may be time to reconsider and try to save it. When you want to heal a relationship, you need to sit down together to find problems or problems, and find solutions to those problems. You also need to try to love each other again and awaken the feeling you used to be. See the section "When should you try to heal?" to know more when saving relationships are steps in the right direction.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Find the problem

1. 

   Think when things started to go wrong. If the peril was reached, you may have guessed when things started to go wrong, even if just a little. Think about when it started to learn how to discuss it with your spouse or partner.
   • It can be easy to pinpoint the main reason, like the person you love is unfaithful, and this has changed the dynamics of two people in the relationship.
   • More often than not, you can't find the main cause, but instead are a series of reasons why things don't go right. Many small things can start to accumulate and become problems. For example, he spends too much time with his friends, or the two of you never try to spend time together. Or maybe both of you are pressured by work.
   • Maybe the two become at odds with each other. If you have been together for a long time, you may have become different people after a while.
   • If you don't know where to start, try answering multiple-choice questions. That can help you gauge how well your relationship is going.

2. 

   
   
   Determine whether you should try. Sometimes there are relationships that we just can't save, especially when the other person isn't willing to put it into it. If only one side wanted to save it, the outcome wouldn't go anywhere. Also, if your relationship is violent in some way, physically or mentally, you shouldn't be holding on.

3. 

   Choose a good time to talk to your crush. You should choose a time that is less disturbed. Also, it should be a private place to keep others from hearing. Also, talk when you are not too excited. Try to have a calm, rational conversation and put your emotions aside.

4. 

   
   
   Talk to the other person. If your marriage or relationship has gone to a point where it needs to be saved, then the other person probably already knows there's a problem between the two of you. However, if you have never mentioned it, now is the time to start talking. It's best to do this while calm and restrained for a real discussion, not a loud verbal fight.
   • It is important that you not only speak but also listen to your spouse or partner and feel about what is happening in the relationship between you two. You can show that you are listening by summarizing what the other person has said to show you understand what they are saying. You can also ask again to show that you have heard and want to learn more.
   • When raising a problem, focus on statements where the subject is yourself, not the other person. For example, you could say, "I want to talk about our relationship," instead of blaming, "You're messing things up between the two of us."

5. 

   
   
   Work together to solve each problem. During the conversation, the two should discuss point by point. Find out what you both think is the problem and discuss how the troubles started. Creating an open-minded conversation can be difficult, but it's important for both of you to realize where the relationship started to go wrong. Alternatively, you can seek help through educational websites to identify the healthy and unhealthy things in your relationship.
   • For example, a healthy relationship is when both are able to be themselves, are independent and respect each other's personalities and boundaries. Both are interested in what the other does and encourage each other.
   • In contrast, an unhealthy relationship is when both of you are dissatisfied with your partner or partner, and feel pressured to change the other. You may also feel controlled or controlled, or maybe it is you who are controlling the other person.

6. 

   Pay attention to the type of behavior. Instead of blaming each other, consider what types of behavior both of you have that led to the problem. For example, you constantly forget to call home late on the day and your wife or partner gets upset when you notice that you are not on time. So to punish the other person, the next time you will not call home, it becomes a vicious circle. When bringing that up, focus on solving the problem, such as, “Next time I'll try to remember to call home if you can skip a few times I forgot to call. Or near the end of the day you can text remind me. "Ad

Part 2 of 4: Find out how to solve the problem

1. 

   Consider seeking a counselor. If you are trying to save your relationship, it is also a good idea to seek professional help. A counselor can help you deconstruct the problems you're facing, especially if you feel like you can't share a room with the other person anymore.

2. 

   Be honest with each other. Being honest is also a way of being receptive, and that way you show the other person that you trust him. You should try to express your thoughts and feelings. When you are ready to open up, you are encouraging the other person to join, and asking for them to be as honest as you are. However, it is important that you continue to say things that are about you to express your feelings instead of blaming the other person.
   • For example, when talking to the other person, you shouldn't say, "I never gave priority to you." Instead, say, "There are times when I feel like I've been neglected in my relationship with you." This way, you are expressing your feelings instead of pointing your nose at the other person.

3. 

   Please cooperate. Instead of each standing aside to argue, the two need to work together. Both should work together to solve problems, treat each other as teammates rather than opponents. However, while looking for cooperation, you must also try to find a solution. That means the two sides need to reach consensus first in determining the issue.
   • Once you realize the problem, you also need to discuss the hidden inside that you both are wondering about. Maybe everyone knows what "victory" is, but if both aim to win, then in the end, no one will win. Instead, state why you want to use the solution.
   • You should also find consensus on the issue and resolution. For example, if you two disagree about who has to do housework, at least you two must agree that the chores need more attention. That is the starting point.

4. 

   Discuss the solutions. This step is perhaps the most difficult part of coming up with mutually acceptable solutions. This means that the two of you agree with each other what is the main issue in your marriage and outlined the ways you both work together to improve the relationship. Basically the two of you need to compromise. Blaming each other is not going to help, as both contribute to the situation.
   • Compromising means being open about what you both need and want in the relationship. This step is important because then you can both determine what each side needs to reserve, and what you can compromise. Compromise means concessions when possible.
   • Specific solutions will be effective. For example, you may have identified one of the main problems with not spending enough time together. The solution to this would be to both agree to date once a week, plus try to have lunch together at least three times a week.
   • Maybe the problem is partly financial. Sit down together and agree on a budgeting, where you compromise on things that you both value. For example, if you are a saver and want to save every penny, while your partner prefers to enjoy lavish vacations, then the two of you should reconcile by arranging for holidays each year. simpler leave in budget terms.
   • Divide housework. A small thing can also be a big deal if one feels he is doing all the housework. Talk frankly about dividing housework fairly and scheduling who to do what and when.

5. 

   Learn to forgive. If you want to move forward, you will have to forgive each other for the damage you have done. This doesn't mean you have to completely forget everything that happened or even say it didn't matter. That means you need to be aware of the trauma you have suffered. Know that the other person made a mistake, and you both learn from it. In the end, you need to accept that it happened and you should keep moving forward.
   • Most mistakes stem from needs that people want to be met. Being aware of that can help you learn from what happened.

6. 

   Calculate what will happen in the future. Once problems and solutions have been identified, both need to formally commit to implementing them. Solutions should be specific and both are acceptable.
   • If you find your solutions have not worked for a while, you can discuss it again and try something else.

7. 

   Don't forget boundaries. Once you have a plan to move forward, don't forget to set boundaries. Yes, you forgive each other for what happened, but you should also set limits so that those mistakes don't happen again.
   • For example, if one of you cheats after going to a club, then it makes sense to put a limit on that person shouldn't go back there. You can put this up by saying, “It was an incident that made me uncomfortable when you went to that club. If you insist on going there, that will be a barrier for me ”.
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Part 3 of 4: Re-learn how to love one another

1. 

   Think about the things that brought you together. When the relationship is strained, you may forget why the two of you were together in the early days. Take a moment to reflect on what made you like him or her at first.
   • Maybe she always makes you happy, or he always calls to see if you've got home safely. Think about every little thing that made you ever love the other person. One way to flash back on the past is to look at old photos the two of you took together.

2. 

   Make sure you're both ready to change. If your main goal is to protect yourself from suffering and anger, you will not be open to change. When it seems that you want to control your spouse to do that protection, this leaves your relationship in a negative and confined color. On the contrary, if you are both willing to learn and make progress together, your relationship will gradually improve over time. If only one of the two was willing to change this goal probably wouldn't be achieved.

3. 

   Focus on the good things. Think about what you love about your partner. Take time each day to write down five points about the person you love or are grateful for. Try to translate your thoughts into words and actions by showing gratitude to the person.

4. 

   Understand each other's love language. Each person experiences love in a unique way. Gary Chapman has broken down five ways people experience love, or five love languages. If you've never taken the time to learn each other's love language, now is the time to do it. You can search online to find out what your love language is.
   • The first language of love is affirmations, meaning that you feel loved when you hear your words of appreciation.
   • The second language of love involves service, meaning that you feel love when someone takes the time to help you with household chores.
   • The third language of love is gifts. That means you feel loved when you receive gifts that show affection from people close to you.
   • The fourth language of love is time. With this love language, you can feel loved if he or she spends time with you.
   • The ultimate love language is touch. In other words, you can feel love if the person shows you affection by kissing you, hugging you in your arms or cuddling you.

5. 

   Use love languages. When you interact with each other, try to use the love language of the other person to show that you care. If your partner has the language of love as service, try doing small chores around the house, or take her car to wash to show concern.If your partner's love language is time, then find ways to spend regular time with her.

6. 

   Spend time connecting. Just like when you first got together, the two of you need to spend time together in your own world. You may think you know all about your partner, but people can still surprise you even after many years. Every day you should take time to talk about and ask questions about his (or her) life, thoughts and feelings.
   • One way to discover new things about your spouse or partner is to try taking a class together, like cooking or dancing. The two will have new experiences together and rekindle the flame of love in the past.

7. 

   Enjoying fun together. While your preferences can change, you should still spend time doing things you used to want to do together. If you have ever enjoyed cooking Vietnamese food together, please try to return to that hobby. If you used to practice long-distance running in the past, but now feel like your body is no longer the same, take the challenge. With the determination to return to the inspirational things before, you will re-ignite the passion of the old days. However, it is not necessarily that the two of you ever liked it. You can also try to find new interests.

8. 

   Body contact. Remember to connect with each other through touch, not just sex. When you're together, hold hands, caress or hug each other. Touch her hand when listening to her talk. Rub his knees while you are sitting side by side. Touch is an important factor in maintaining intimacy, but over the years it can gradually fade away from everyday mundane things.

9. 

   Maintain communication. Once you start working this way, you probably think that your problems can be fixed by just sitting back and talking once. However, maintaining a relationship means constantly communicating with each other and talking about what is happening and how you are feeling.
   • Communication is especially important when you are feeling angry and just want to talk to the other person. Instead of getting angry, take a moment and breathe. Once you have calmed down, say the reasons why you are upset and what to do now.
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Part 4 of 4: When should you try to heal?

1. 

   Try to save it while you are still in love. The two of you used to have a reason to be together, and it was the seed of love that kept you two together for such a long time. If you still feel love, it is also worthwhile for the two of you to work hard to communicate and get along with each other. Many love relationships also go wrong at times. Repairing a relationship takes a lot of work, but it's worth the effort if you know that there is still room for your crush inside.

2. 

   Consider healing if your "half" wants it to be. Maybe you are at the edge of the line wanting to give up on the relationship, but your spouse or partner is trying to hold on. If the two of you have been together for a long time then it may be worth the effort to heal. You can see your ex's love for you and will have confidence that even though you're going through a tough time right now, things will get better. Consider your options to see if it is worth trying for your ex.

3. 

   Allow yourself to stop trying if the time is right. No matter how well things have been, or how earnestly one side wants to continue the relationship, sometimes it's clear that things are over. If you have worked hard to save the relationship but you no longer feel love, or are no longer determined to ignite the flames of love, you may not need to force yourself to keep trying. Don't drag on from month to year and blame yourself for inability to deal with it. It is normal to choose happiness without sacrificing. When one has been lethargic in the relationship, ending is better for both.

4. 

   Don't try to save a toxic or abusive relationship. There's really no way to mend a harmful and abusive relationship. No matter how much effort you put into communication methods or the effort to evoke romance, you won't make things better in the long run. You may feel like you have some interest in this relationship too, but there is a lot more to you when you are free. advertisement

Warning

• Make sure that both sides are truly committed to the healing process. If only one side is willing, that person will be disappointed.