Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

We humans are selfish at times. Despite being encouraged by many social factors, selfishness only hurts everyone and sometimes doesn't do anyone any good. Selfish people may end up losing friendships or loved ones, because a relationship with a selfish person is often difficult to maintain, no matter how charming and interesting the person is. A truly selfish person wouldn't at all think he was selfish. Many people think that selfishness and pride are good, and that only a fool will put others above themselves. If you are worried that you are being too selfish and want to be more grateful and humble, there are many things you can do.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Change your outlook

1. 

   Practice putting yourself last. If you are selfish, you must always find ways to take the number one and first. You will have to change this as soon as possible if you want to enjoy a life full of joy and selfishness. Next time you do something, whether it's waiting in line for a buffet or getting on the bus, stop and give it to others to get it first, whether it's food, seats or comfort. Don't always just think for yourself and everything must come first; Remember that everyone else is just as special as you, and everyone deserves what you want.
   • Try to put yourself last in at least three situations this week. See how comfortable you feel when you don't have to constantly work out how you can benefit.
   • Of course, once the balance is reached, you shouldn't always put yourself last, otherwise you could end up in a situation where other people take advantage. But this is a good practice if you are still used to putting yourself first.
   • If you can't put yourself last even once, you probably run into a problem you don't know.

2. 

   
   
   Put yourself in someone else's shoes. The time you live in someone else's situation can change your life forever. Of course you won't be able to do this in practice, but you can try to think about the people around you and visualize how they might feel in certain situations. Before you act, think about how your mother, your friends, your boss or anyone you meet randomly on the street, and you may find that life is not as simple as it seems. The more empathy you train and think about what people are going through, the sooner you will lose your selfishness.
   • For example, before you are about to scold the waiter for bringing up the wrong food, think about how she feels. Maybe she was tired from standing for ten hours straight, darkened with so many tables to serve, or she was upset about something; Are you bound to scare her just to get what you want?

3. 

   
   
   Remember that you are no more important than anyone. Selfish people think they are the center of the universe, and that the world revolves around them. Then you need to get rid of that way of thinking like a bad habit.Whether it's Madona or a celebrity, you should see yourself as everyone else no less, no matter if you have more money, more beauty or more talent than the person next to you.
   • Practice humility and simplicity. This universe is vast and incredibly magical, and you are only a very small part of it. Don't think for some reason that you deserve to be favored over others just because you are "you."

4. 

   
   
   Don't let the past determine your future. Yes, maybe your friends, co-workers, and neighbors see you as the most selfish person on earth. You may find it difficult to break that pattern of thinking or make people see you as a different person than they imagined. Come on, get rid of that thought, learn how to step forward and become a new person. Sure, those who know you may be surprised to find you thinking for others or that you have stopped obsessing about yourself; This will give you even more reason to keep trying to be more selfless.
   • Others may be skeptical of your motives when you try to do something for someone else. This will encourage you to be less selfish. Don't give up and assume that selfishness is your own nature and cannot be changed.

5. 

   Ask yourself what you want and what you need. Selfish people repeat the mantra "I want, I want, I want ..." and think that everything in the world is theirs and they deserve all of them. want. Stop and ask yourself if you really need those five sweaters, or do you definitely have to go to the movies or restaurants while hanging out with your partner. If you think about it more deeply, you will find that most of the things that you think are very necessary are actually of little importance in life.
   • You will feel more comfortable simplifying your life and eliminating the things you think should be needed. If you only buy one new sweater instead of five, you will only have to worry about losing one sweater.
   • This is a great skill when you are learning to compromise. It can be easier to yield to others if you realize that what you are craving is just a lust.
   • Remember that selfishness can also manifest in not wanting to spend time with others. Some people may be materially generous, but stingy about time.

6. 

   
   
   Cheerfully give others a prominent position. Selfish people often can't stand seeing others be the focus of attention, because they crave it. Then, if you want to let go of your selfishness, you not only have to leave your standout position, but be happy to let someone else take that position. Stop trying to be the bride at every wedding and the dead at every funeral, let the other brides enjoy the happy moment in life under the spotlight. You should be happy for others for what they have done instead of wishing that person is you.
   • Get rid of jealousy or bitterness and taste the success of others. If you've always aspired to be the most successful, ask yourself if you're missing out on something in your life that keeps you from being satisfied with your accomplishments.

7. 

   
   
   Receive comments. Selfish people think their way of life is the best, and anyone with a voice is trying to find ways to harm them or have some ulterior motive. Of course, you cannot completely trust every criticism directed at you, but with a little attention, you may find that many people say the same thing. You want to know how to improve yourself and change your lifestyle, right? If you think you are perfect and you have nothing to correct, then you have not found this page, right?
   • You can even ask for feedback when you get stuck instead of just accepting when it comes. This takes courage and confidence.

8. 

   
   
   Make a list of gratitude. Make it a habit to write down all the things you are grateful for every Sunday or at least once a week. Take some time to reflect on how everything made your life great. Do not just stick to the things you do not have or wish for, nor always repeat the words "if only" are ruining your happy days and your whole life. Think about the good things in your life, from your health to your friends, and the happiness that you have.
   • Selfish people are never satisfied and want more, more, more. If you want to stop being selfish, you have to learn to think that you have had great things in life. All the fun or gifts will come to you as an added bonus.
   • Time should also be counted. Recognize the time you have devoted to yourself and be willing to take a moment to help others. If you continue to not want to spend time with anyone else, you will eventually lose your friends.
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Part 2 of 3: Taking care of people

1. 

   Helping your friend in a carefree way, not for profit. If you do something for your friends just to make them repay you with something else, this is also selfish. Help people just because they need help, or because you're happy doing a good job. If you want to let go of selfishness, find opportunities to help your friend just because they are in need, but not because of any profound motivation. You do not want to have a reputation for being someone who only helps others when you need something from them; This is no better than not helping anyone at all.
   • Listen to your friends and pay attention to their situation. Many people desperately need support but are afraid to ask.

2. 

   Take some time to actually listen. Famous selfish people are people who refuse to listen. They are so busy talking about their troubles, troubles, and obstacles that there is no time left to hear what others have to say. If you are the type of person who keeps picking up the phone for a half hour and then goodbye, then you do not take the time to listen to what the other person is saying to you.
   • Every conversation must have equal speaking and listening time. If a habit of being alone dominates the conversation, next time you will have to practice listening skills when you speak.
   • Selfish people tend to focus on themselves rather than on others, and that's why they don't really take the time to listen.

3. 

   Show interest in people. Listening to others is a great way to show concern. In addition, you can ask questions, from their opinion on local news to their childhood stories. You don't have to ask in too much detail to show their attention and show them that you really care about their thoughts or problems. When people talk, don't just nod and wait for your turn, but slow down and ask questions if they're talking about things they're passionate about.
   • You can show concern without overwhelming them. Next time you talk to someone, aim to say 20% less and ask a few more questions than usual about how you feel.

4. 

   Spend time volunteering. Volunteering can take you out of your world to see how many people out there are less fortunate than you are. You may still think you lack a lot before volunteering at the charity kitchens or teaching adults to read. While you shouldn't do charity work just to feel comfortable, take the time to make a meaningful connection with others and see the outside world.
   • You may find yourself becoming addicted to charity work. Soon you will no longer think about what you don't have because you are busy planning to help others.

5. 

   Pet. If you are the type who kills the last dozen of your goldfish, don't keep pets; on the other hand, a pet in the house will make you feel like there is a being that needs your protection, and you have the power to protect other creatures.Head to the animal shelter and choose a cute kitten or puppy to be with. You will find that you will not have time for selfish thoughts when you are busy walking your dog, feeding your pet, or spending time cuddling with new pets.
   • The dogs will ask you a lot of responsibility. Taking on your responsibilities - especially when it comes to serving others - will definitely help you to stop being selfish.

6. 

   Help acquaintances in times of need. When your friends, relatives, or even neighbors are having trouble, stay with them. Maybe a colleague has just had a loved one passed away, or your neighbor has been sick for months. Take a moment to bring them a hand-cooked meal, call or send gifts and ask what you can do to help them.
   • People may hesitate to ask for help even when it is clear that they are in desperate need. It is up to you to guess when you can help without getting into their own affairs.

7. 

   Learn to share. Selfish people have never shared it with anyone since the first toy in their life when they were children. Then, it's time to get rid of the selfish gene from your body. Practice sharing what you have, whether breaking half a loaf of bread for your friend or letting her rummage through your wardrobe to borrow a nice dress for your first date. Choose something you love so much that you can't imagine you can share it with others and give it to your friend. It may seem intimidating at first to give away such assets, but that is how you will gradually become less selfish.
   • Food is also a big problem. Selfish people hate sharing food. While everyone needs to have enough food for themselves, ask yourself if you really need that much cake, or that you won't lose anything to share with friends or roommates. .

8. 

   Join a team. Being a part of a team is a great way to lessen your selfishness, whether you're on a work project, a school debate team, or a member of a community soccer team. As you join a team and learn to balance the interests of each member with the interests of the whole team, you will realize how important it is to eliminate selfish behaviors.
   • You will be even less selfish as a team leader. Then you will find that the interests of the group are often more important than the interests of the individual, and that compromise is required for everyone to be satisfied.

9. 

   Stop talking about yourself. Selfish people have a habit of gossiping about what they need, about their efforts and desires. Next time you talk to your friends, summarize how much percent of your time you spend talking about yourself. If you find that you are only talking about yourself instead of everything around you, and the person you are talking to barely gets in the way, then you need to change your behavior.
   • It's okay to ask for advice, talk about what happened to you and mention what you want to within a reasonable range, but it wouldn't be great if you were famous for seeing nothing but the version. body when communicating with people. Moreover, if everyone knows that you only talk about yourself, no one will want to play with you anymore.

10. 

    Give everyone small gifts. Give a loved one, a relative, a friend or a neighbor a small gift to express your appreciation and gratitude. Selfish people never give money or give anything to others, and are generally not grateful to anyone. Stop thinking that if you don't do anything for yourself, you won't do anything. Even if it's not yet your birthday and there aren't any special events coming up with your friend, a small gift for that friend will bring a smile to their face. In fact, unexpected gifts often make people happier than known gifts.
    • Try to give someone a small gift each month to show how much you like them. And this also really helps friend feel more happy!
    • If your budget doesn't allow it, you can also take your time to help someone else.
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Part 3 of 3: Being considerate to people

1. 

   Learn to compromise. If you want to give up selfishness, you will have to learn to compromise. This means that you have to place your feelings of happiness above getting what you want, that other people have what you want, and that you don't always want to be. You probably don't want to have a reputation for being such a tough person that they never think of approaching you in a difficult situation. Learn to listen to others, weigh the pros and cons and see situations from the perspective of others.
   • Do not have to blindly do what you want. Focus on understanding the situation from both sides.
   • Ask yourself, "Who wants more of that than who?" Do you really need it that much, or do you insist on being just because you are stubborn?
   • Listen to the other person and see from their perspective before reacting.

2. 

   Thanks everyone. Selfish people often claim that they have the right to be prioritized and deserve to be spoiled without question. If someone does a good job for you, whether it's complimenting you or letting you hitchhike to class, be grateful and thankful for their kindness instead of taking it for granted. Don't assume everyone has to be kind or understanding; you should be grateful for that.
   • Selfish people often assume that they always "deserve" the best treatment. It's time to stop and think about all the people who have truly helped you live a better life.

3. 

   Stop control. Selfish people assume they have to pick all the movies, plan all the vacations, and every work or school related project has to make their way. Well, now is the time to take a step back and let everyone decide a few things. Yes, it might be a bit intimidating at first to go to a Thai restaurant instead of the Italian one you would normally love to go to, and you probably wouldn't have liked letting your friend decide many things on the final report; But you have to believe that others know what they are doing, and let them do what they want.
   • Getting out of control can also help reduce stress and make you happier. Think how much easier your life would have been if you weren't obsessed with the idea that everything had to go the way you want it to be.
   • Sometimes things get easier and less stressful if you give in to someone else's schedule.

4. 

   Stay with unselfish people. Merg with kind people and reciprocate their kindness. You wouldn't get better if you were in the midst of selfish people. Near the ink is black, near the lights are bright - if you are always with people who only think about themselves, you definitely cannot become caring. On the contrary, if you are in the midst of generous people, you will also be inspired to act for others more.

5. 

   Don't interrupt others. Let everyone finish the sentence. Remember, there is no rush. If it is urgent (eg you have to go) say "ask permission". Selfish people often think that what they say is very important, what others say is just bullshit, and they can say at any time, but this is not true. In fact, your opinion will be more receptive if you wait for your turn to speak. Furthermore, sometimes you may change your mind if you really listen to what others have to say.

6. 

   Remember birthdays. You can make someone sad when you accidentally forget about their special day. Luckily you can always make up if you forget it. However, remembering someone else's birthday isn't as simple as remembering a special day. It also shows how special they are to you and how much they mean to you.
   • On the other hand, don't get angry if someone forgets your birthday. Things like this happen often, and it's not going to help you act like everyone has to remember everything about you.

7. 

   Stay in touch with friends, family and relatives. It is easy for selfish people to lose relationships with others because they believe that people will always turn back to them. Don't think your time is so precious that you can't call your grandmother or have lunch with a friend, and then wait for everyone to come to you when you really need them. Pay attention to people just to know how they are living.

8. 

   Praise others. Don't just show off yourself how cool. Let people know how great they are, whether it be their fashion sense, personality or wise decisions. You can also compliment a complete stranger in line if you like their coat. Don't give fake compliments to win people's hearts; Praise people for what they really deserve.

9. 

   Don't nudge people while waiting in line. If you see someone on a cane or in a wheelchair, slow down or help instead of squeezing in first. There is nothing important that you absolutely have to stand in front of everyone. Wait for your turn and don't act like you have something so important you can't wait five minutes in line.

10. 

    Be on time. If possible, call if you know you'll be late. Selfish people often keep people waiting and don't care that they are wasting other people's time; The paradox is, they think their time is so precious that no one can ever catch it surname wait. Be polite and respect everyone by showing up as you promised. advertisement

Advice

• It takes time to change yourself, but realizing that you have a behavior problem is also a big step.
• Give others a hug when needed. Don't hold back your emotions or stop your tears just for your ego.
• Try to stop judging others and learn to sympathize with them.
• Encourage everyone, because everyone needs encouragement.
• Don't hate yourself because you think you can't change. You can do it.
• Don't expect a complete change overnight.
• Sparingly use the word "I".
• If there is only one cake left at the party and someone wants to take it, give it to them or offer to split it.
• At Christmas, donate to the less fortunate.
• Try not to give your "opinion" unless someone asks for your opinion or when the whole group speaks, or you are asked for constructive criticism.
• Make sure you don't go to the extreme of "dependency", also known as co-dependency. It is fine to take care of others, but you also need to make time for yourself.

Warning

• Don't be harsh on others just because you are stressed.
• Do not give credit for helping others. The purpose of charity work is to do the right things, not to gain fame.