Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Explore your feelings
• Method 2 of 3: Talk about it
• Method 3 of 3: Find out more
• Tips

Human sexuality is determined by a complex mix of biological, psychological and environmental factors. Medical experts believe you can't choose your sexual orientation - it's just part of who you are. While some people have a clear understanding of their sexual identity from a very young age, determining your sexuality can also be a lifelong process. It is normal to have questions about your own sexual orientation. If you are unsure whether you are heterosexual, it can help to research your feelings, talk to someone you trust (such as a teacher, counselor, family member, or friend), and educate yourself about various aspects of sexual orientation and implies identity.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Explore your feelings

1. Do not worry about it. Remember, it can take a long time to discover your sexual identity and your feelings can change over time. You don't have to rush to label yourself. Relax, let your feelings develop naturally, and think about how you feel without judging yourself.
2. Determine if you are attracted to people of the opposite sex. Even if you've never had a romantic or sexual relationship with another person, you may have been attracted to someone in a sexual or romantic way. Think about people you are attracted to, be they people you know personally, celebrities, or even fictional characters.
   • If you find that all or most of the people you are attracted to are of a different gender than you, chances are you are straight.
3. Find out if you feel comfortable dating someone of the opposite sex. Think about your close relationships with others, whether they are platonic (friends only), romantic, or sexual. Take a moment to ask yourself how you feel about those relationships, without judging or over-analyzing those feelings. Think about which relationships have made you feel most comfortable (safe, fulfilling, happy).
   • Do you feel a romantic or sexual attraction to close friends of the opposite sex? If so, ask yourself how you would feel about dating one of these people.
   • How do you feel about all the romantic and sexual experiences you've had with people of the opposite sex, or people of the same sex, if you've had them? Did you enjoy it and did it feel satisfying? Write down which relationships you have found most positive and ask yourself how much the other person's gender has to do with that feeling.
4. Study your friendships. Many people feel most comfortable being friends with people to whom they are not sexually attracted. For example, gay men tend to befriend women more easily than heterosexual men, while heterosexual men are often more comfortable with other men.
   • Think about your friendships. Are your relationships with people of the opposite sex often "complicated" by romantic or sexual feelings? Are you more comfortable being friends or being casual with people of the same sex? If so, it could be an indication that you are heterosexual.
   • Having a lot of friends of one sex or the other doesn't necessarily say anything about your sexuality. Look at your friendships along with other factors, such as your romantic past or the types of sexual situations you enjoy fantasizing about.
5. Use your imagination. Picture yourself in romantic or sexual situations with people of different genders. Let your mind take you where it wants to go without thinking too much about things or judging yourself. Think about how you feel when you imagine the following situations:
   • If you especially enjoy imagining you are with people of a different gender, you may be heterosexual.
   • If you feel happy and excited about the idea of ​​being exclusively in a standard relationship or situation, it could also be a sign that you are heterosexual.
6. Introduce yourself with a different sexual identity. Sexual orientation is not black and white. You can be straight, gay, or somewhere in the middle (bisexual or bicurious). Some people consider themselves straight even if they are occasionally attracted to (or even have had relationships with) people of the same sex, and some people consider themselves gay even if they are attracted to / have been attracted to relationships with people of a different sex. Others are not at all interested in sexual or romantic relationships with people of any gender. These people may consider themselves asexual or not romantic. The most important thing is how you feel about yourself.
   • Write something like or say out loud to yourself, "I am heterosexual" or "I am heterosexual". How do you feel when you refer to yourself like that? Are you comfortable with that?

Method 2 of 3: Talk about it

1. Talk to a close friend about your sexual orientation. Sometimes it can help to talk to someone who may be going through the same things and has the same questions as you. Tell a trusted friend about the questions you have and ask him or her about their own experiences, if that is a negotiable topic.
   • If you know that your boyfriend doesn't mind talking about their sexuality, ask something like, "When did you first discover that you are straight / gay / bisexual? How did you know that?'
2. Find a forum where you can talk about sexual identity issues. Find a moderate forum where you can talk (anonymously, if you prefer) with other people who are also looking for answers about their sexuality. If you'd rather not participate in the discussion, it can be helpful to just read other people's conversations about the topic. For example, start with the Sexual and Gender Issues forum on PsychCentral: https://forums.psychcentral.com/sexual-gender-issues/
3. Talk to a therapist. If the questions you have about your sexual identity are causing you a lot of anxiety and stress, consider making an appointment with a mental health specialist (a psychologist, clinical social worker, or counselor). They may be able to help you understand your sexuality better, or point you in the direction of some helpful sources of information.

Method 3 of 3: Find out more

1. Read the books on sexuality and sexual orientation. This can be a great way to better understand your own sexuality. If you're looking for answers as a teen or young adult, try one of these books:
2. Check out educational websites dealing with sexuality issues. Organizations dedicated to researching human sexuality and providing resources related to sexual and reproductive health often provide educational materials for free on their websites. To learn more about sexual orientation, check out one or more of these websites:
3. Take a course on sexuality. If you are in school, you may be able to enroll in a class on sexuality, or you may be able to take a course at a local university. You may also find free or affordable sexual identity courses online. For example, check out the freely available online course material of MIT's Introduction to Sexual and Gender Identities: https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/womens-and-gender-studies/wgs-110j-sexual-and -gender-identities-spring-2016 /

Tips

• Don't worry if you don't find out right away. Understanding your sexuality can be a lifelong journey.
• Remember that only you can determine your own sexual identity. Don't let anyone else try to label you or put you in a box that makes you feel uncomfortable.