Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Avoid desperate behavior
• Method 2 of 3: Learn to let go
• Method 3 of 3: Project a confident self-image
• Warnings

It is normal for us to feel desperate when we are vulnerable. Maybe you just ended your long-term relationship, or you have undergone a major life change. Whatever the reason, you want to avoid desperate behavior and show self-confidence.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Avoid desperate behavior

1. Avoid constantly complaining about your single status. Even when you joke about it, it seems like you're desperate for a date. Not only does this make you seem desperate, but it also makes you seem like you disrespect your friends with relationships. Avoid complaints such as:
   • You are so lucky to have a boyfriend; I wish I could get what you have. ”
   • I hate to be single! I wish I could get a boyfriend. ”
   • “I don't want to be a third wheel; it sucks to be single. ”
2. Don't fish for compliments. Fishing for compliments means trying to get other people to say good things about you. You fish for compliments by saying negative things about yourself and expecting someone to contradict you. Do not fish for compliments from the person you are interested in or from your friends. This makes you appear insecure, insincere and desperate. Avoid statements like:
   • I'm so fat. I will never find a husband. ”
   • "I am so stupid!"
   • "I look awful today."
   • "Do you think this shirt suits me?"
3. Don't ignore your friends. Don't neglect your support network while trying to make yourself look better. This will create a grudge and will cause you to lose your friends. Avoid saying or doing things like:
   • Telling an embarrassing story about your boyfriend to make yourself look better.
   • Ignoring your friends while trying to get the attention of a cute boy / girl.
   • Making negative comments about your friends to make yourself look better. (eg "Oh, Lisa doesn't like basketball. Not as much as I do."
4. Don't lie or embellish the truth. Truth always lasts the longest; beautifying your traits to get the attention of another is desperate and sure to haunt you. Don't lie when you start dating. Some common lies are:
   • Lying about profession.
   • Lying about salary or money.
   • Lying about age.
   • Lying about relationship status.
5. Don't try too hard. You have to learn to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. If you try too hard to be someone you really aren't, you will put a strain on your own life and that of your partner. Some ways you can try too hard in a relationship include:
   • Over-satisfying people - Trying to make your partner feel good in a relationship is a good thing, but overdoing it can come across as desperate. Your partner may think you need him or her too much.
   • Going too soon - It's good to be clear and honest about your expectations in a relationship, but it can feel desperate if you expect too much too soon. For example, don't expect to talk about big life decisions (like kids or getting married) too early in the relationship.

   Hold your heart when you meet someone new. Dr. Chloe Carmichael, a licensed clinical psychologist and relationship coach recommends, “Many people will throw caution out the window when they meet someone they find dazzling or arousing. While you don't always have to pretend you're hard to get, it's not always a good idea to get into a relationship too impulsively. ”

   
   

Method 2 of 3: Learn to let go

1. Learn when to run away. Once you determine that someone isn't interested in you, know when it's time to stop and walk away. The person may blame you if you keep chasing someone who isn't interested in you. Also, consider running away from a relationship you may desperately want to keep. If you're considering the following, it might be time to walk away:
   • You can't remember the last time you had a meaningful open conversation.
   • You cannot name what you have in common.
   • You don't respect your partner or your partner doesn't respect you.
   • You or your partner cannot compromise.
   • You notice that the bad times outweigh the good times.
2. E-stalk does not. Don't stalk the person you have a crush on on social media or the internet. Do not post photos, messages or emails. In addition, do not over-analyze messages on social media. Other e-stalking behaviors can include:
   • Research other friends who have reached out to your partner / crush.
   • Read his / her email or other correspondence.
   • View or read his / her old messages or photos.
   • Scolding or addressing him or her about talking to other people online.
3. Avoid clingy behavior. You want your partner to feel comfortable in your presence. You don't want to scare him or her off with too much attention. Give him or her some space:
   • Don't text more than twice in a row or within 10 minutes of the last text message. Only try to text meaningful messages if you have a good reason.
   • Don't be nervous or angry if he / she doesn't contact you right away.
   • Don't follow your partner / crush.
   • Don't be overly accommodating. For example, don't worry about making plans with your own friends in case your partner might want to go out or go on a date.

Method 3 of 3: Project a confident self-image

1. Stick to your personal standards. When you're lonely or have been single for a long time, it can be easy to settle for something or get desperate for anyone who shows an interest. However, this can lead to a disastrous and unsatisfying relationship. Stick to your personal standards by doing the following:
   • Look for a partner who respects you and your interests. Being with someone you don't respect makes you seem desperate to anyone who shows an interest in you. Look for someone you can talk to about your interests and won't belittle you.
   • Find a partner who is happy to spend time with you. If you're in a relationship with someone you only want to see when it's convenient for them, you may be desperate for companionship instead of good company.
   • Look for a partner who has the same values ​​or goals as you. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't respect you and your beliefs.
2. Don't try to rationalize bad treatment. While it is often easy to identify acts of desperation when someone is seeking a relationship, there is also despair in existing relationships. Don't desperately cling to a relationship that is no longer working. Consider ending a relationship if:
   • Your partner is emotionally or physically abusive. Not only is this dangerous for your emotional and physical health, but also something you don't have to live with.
   • Your partner does not respect you, your friends or your family. Don't be desperate to please others in your relationship; don't desperately look for a boy your mom will approve. It's important to be in a relationship for reasons that work for you, not to be desperate to be single.
   • Your partner is a negative presence in your life. Don't make desperate excuses for your partner in the hope that he / she will change. Supporting your partner is one thing, but making excuses all the time is another.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others. This will cause a negative body image and negative thoughts. Instead, state what your strengths are and what makes you unique.
   • Identify aspects of your life that you compare to others. Is it your appearance? Your intelligence? Once you have identified these feelings, it will be easier to get rid of them.
   • Understand that you are in control of your actions and feelings. It is easy to think that society dictates how we should look and feel; but you are the only person who can make decisions about how you think and act.
   • Try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. This will help create a good habit that will build confidence and happiness.
4. Surround yourself with positive people. It's easier to build a good habit when people encourage you! Don't isolate yourself; instead, surround yourself with positive people who will help you make good decisions about your life.

Warnings

• If the person is interested, he / she will show this, looking desperate will not help you.