Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Starting conversations
• Part 2 of 4: Having personal conversations
• Part 3 of 4: Contributing to group conversations
• Part 4 of 4: Talking at school
• Tips
• Warnings

Some people seem like superstars when it comes to conversation, able to rattle off stories and quibbles like it's nothing. But if you're the quiet or introverted type, it can take a lot of courage to get a word out at all. Whatever your inclination, you can learn not only to speak more, but also with more depth in your words, making you a better conversation partner. Learn to start and keep conversations going whether you're in a private conversation, in a group, or at school.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Starting conversations

1. Start with something you know you can both talk about. The biggest fear people have when it comes to starting conversations is the fear of approaching someone, opening your mouth, and then having nothing to say at all. Fortunately, there are a few easy ways to always make sure you choose something to talk about that you both feel comfortable with.
   • Assess the situation. Of course, if you want to talk to a classmate, you can always talk about the lesson. If you are at the same party, talk about the party. It doesn't have to be complicated: "How do you feel about this neighborhood?" Is also a great way to start a conversation.
   • Never try to approach a stranger with some sort of pick up trick or silly jokes. While it's not necessarily "rude," asking someone how much a polar bear weighs won't give you a chance for conversation, but only killers.
2. Make sure you apply the FORM principles. FORM is an acronym sometimes used in conversation courses, which remind you of topics that are always suitable for starting a conversation, along with various formulas for starting them, whether you know the person well or just run into someone. It is a good rule of thumb for choosing phrases to start conversations: Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Motivation.
   • Family
     • "How are your mom today?" Or "How are your parents?"
     • "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" Or "Did you get along?"
     • "What was your best / worst family vacation?"
   • Profession
     • "What are you doing?" Or "Do you like your new job?"
     • "What's the hardest thing you have to deal with at work?" Or "What was the most interesting thing you did this week?"
     • "Do you have nice colleagues?"
   • Recreation
     • "What are you doing for fun?" Or "What's there to do here for fun?"
     • "Have you been doing that for a long time?"
     • "Do you have a fixed group of people you do that with?"
   • Motivation
     • "What do you want to do after school?" Or "Do you think you will have that job for a long time? What is your dream job? "
     • "What do you want to do later?"
3. Ask open questions. It's absolutely crucial that you start conversations by giving people the chance to talk and then responding to them. This is what makes you talkative, not the ability to talk about yourself. Open questions give people the opportunity to act and give you more to respond to and talk about.
   • Open questions can be used as a follow-up to closed answers. If someone is reluctant to speak and says, "Well, fine" in response to your question, "How are you?" Say something like, "What did you do today?" And then, "How did you do?" Try to get the other person to talk.
   • Open questions have to do with opinions. You cannot answer an open question with Yes or no. Don't ask closed questions, such as "What's your name?" Or "Do you come here a lot?" This gives you nothing to talk about.
4. Refer to previous conversations. Sometimes it's harder to talk to people you know a little bit, unlike strangers. If you already know someone's family history and background, it's good to think about previous conversations looking for follow-up questions to find out what the other person did:
   • "What were you going to do today" or "What have you been through since the last time?"
   • "What was that project like at school? Did you get it done? "
   • "Those photos from vacation on Facebook looked great. How was the journey?'
5. Practice good listening skills as well as speaking. A good conversation is about more than just moving your mouth. If you want to become more talkative, it is important to practice listening carefully and not just wait for your turn to speak.
   • Make eye contact with the other person and maintain open body language. When you agree, nod your head and focus on the conversation. Respond with something like, "Oh, wow. What happened then? "Or" How did that go? "
   • Really listen and respond to what the other person is saying. Train yourself to paraphrase, such as, "What I hear is ..." and "It sounds like you're saying that ..."
   • Don't let your talkativeness make your conversations one-way or make you respond to what the other has just said by talking about yourself all the time. Listen and respond.
6. Watch the other person's body language for clues. Some people just don't want to talk, and trying to enforce this won't make the situation any better. Pay close attention to whether someone disconnects and disconnects from the conversation. Instead, practice your speaking skills on someone else.
   • Closed body language has to do with things like looking back or up and around you, as if you were looking for an exit. Closed or crossed arms are sometimes a sign of closed body language, as is leaning one shoulder towards or away from you.
   • Open body language is characterized by leaning forward, making eye contact and listening to the other person.
7. Smile. Much of a conversation is non-verbal. People are much more willing to start talking to happy-looking, open, friendly-looking people. You can encourage people to engage with you and take an interest in you if you are open and smile.
   • You don't have to look like a grinning idiot, just like you are happy where you are, even when you feel uncomfortable. No frowns and sour faces. Lift your eyebrows and lift your chin. Smile.

Part 2 of 4: Having personal conversations

1. Look for open doors in the conversation. Good interviewers do this with ease, but even with closed people, you can learn to open doors to other topics and paths, looking for a connection that can give you something to really talk about together. It's kind of an art, but there are some tricks to teach yourself this.
   • Ask about someone's experiences. If someone mentions that he or she went for a run, ask how long, if it was fun, where they started running, and similar questions.
   • Ask someone's opinion on a particular topic. If someone worked at Burger King during their high school days, ask them what it was like. Pulse what they thought of it.
   • Always ask follow-up questions. It's no problem responding to someone's short answer with, "Why is that?" Or "How?" Smile to avoid looking like you're fishing when you're really just curious.
2. Don't be afraid to keep asking. People like to talk about themselves, so don't be afraid to ask someone's opinion and find out how someone thinks. While some people are more reserved and less likely to talk, others will enjoy sharing their thoughts with someone who is just curious.
   • You can always dim if you want and say, "Sorry, I didn't want to be curious, I'm just interested".
3. Think out loud. Don't be silent as you think about answers to questions you've asked, just start paraphrasing what the other person has said and let yourself start talking. If you are a shy person you are likely to rethink what you want to say before saying it, and often it will work out fine, if not better, the less you censor yourself, and the more you allow yourself to just talk .
   • Many people worry about sounding "stupid" or not saying the "right thing," but this usually results in unnatural speech patterns and awkward timing in conversations. If you want to be more talkative, practice responding even if you're not sure what to say.
4. Don't be afraid to switch to a different topic. Sometimes a topic will just stop, followed by an awkward moment. If you can't say anything more about a particular topic, don't be afraid to move on to something else, even if it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it.
   • If you are having a drink together and talking about football, but then there is not much more to say about it, gesture to the drink and ask something like, "How's that? What's in that again? "Talk about drinks for a while while you think about other topics.
   • Talk about whatever you want and what you know a lot about. Things you know a lot about are interesting to other people - at least those people who are worth talking to.
5. Keep up to date with current events. If you are slowly starting to know nothing to talk about, it is helpful to have a fairly good understanding of current events, general topics and the headlines so that you can talk about something that your interlocutor has probably heard about, and something in common. can find.
   • You don't even need to know much about topics to start a conversation. Say something like, "What about the cabinet crisis? I have received little of it. You do?'
   • Don't be condescending. Never assume that the person you are talking to knows nothing about a topic, even if it is unclear or very specific, as this can appear condescending.

Part 3 of 4: Contributing to group conversations

1. Speak louder. If you are not as talkative as you would like to be during one-on-one conversations, talking in large groups can be even more challenging. But if you want to be heard, one of the most important things is to speak with volume, which will make it easier for you to be heard.
   • Many reticent people are also somewhat calm and introverted. Larger groups are often more favorable to the outgoing and loud talkers, which means that you will have to adjust your voice slightly to suit the group.
   • Try the following: Put yourself at the center of the conversation by bringing your voice to the level of the others, but lower your voice back to your natural speaking voice when you have the group's attention so you don't have to pretend. Bring them to you, not the other way around.
2. A silence does not wait. Sometimes group conversations can feel like the game of Frogger: you look at a large street with heavy traffic, and try to find an opening that never comes. But the secret of the game is that you have to dive in. These silences, when they come, are never obvious and always unexpected, so it is important to risk interrupting someone rather than wait for absolute silence before daring to speak.
   • Try not to interrupt people in your efforts, but use interrupting words before they are done, such as, "So ..." ... or "Wait a minute." .. or even "I want to say something" and then wait for them to finish. . You got the attention without cutting the other off completely.
3. Show your attitude that you want to say something. If there is something you want to say, look at the speaker, lean forward and use open body language that communicates that you are engaged in the conversation and want to say something. Someone can even clear the floor for you by asking you for your input, if you seem like you want to say something.
   • Sometimes when you feel like you are being run over by the conversation train, it is tempting to become frustrated and disconnect from the conversation. But this will only make it harder to talk and keep others from noticing that you want to say something.
4. Offer alternatives. In a group situation, a conversation quickly gets boring when everyone says the same thing, so it's good to play devil's advocate every now and then if the conversation calls for it. If you find yourself disagreeing with the group's opinion, try to express it in a calm voice.
   • Make sure to initiate a disagreement with, "I think I see this a little differently, but." .. or "Good point, but I don't know if I agree".
   • You need to adopt ideas or opinions that are not your own just to have something to say, especially if you cannot substantiate them. However, if you disagree with something, feel free to voice it. Conversations are not sects that punish dissent.
5. Start a side interview, if necessary. Some people struggle to socialize in larger groups and thrive in one-on-one environments. There is nothing wrong with these people. A recent personality study found that many people fall into one of two groups based on whether or not they can contribute to larger groups, or whether they are better at private conversations. These groups are dyads and triads.
   • Dyads struggle to establish themselves in larger groups. If you want to talk to someone but find it difficult in a group of three or more people, take them aside to talk. Then talk one-on-one with the other people in the group to get into your own comfort zone. This is not impolite if you take the time for everyone.

Part 4 of 4: Talking at school

1. Schedule a comment. Talking in class is quite another, and what may seem awkward or unusual during casual conversations is sometimes perfectly appropriate and even expected in the classroom environment. The best example of this is group discussions, where it's okay to plan and write out any comments you'd like to share with the rest of the class in advance.
   • In general, it can be difficult to remember that you want to put forward points while doing your English reading, or questions you had about your math homework in class, so write them down and bring them up in the next lesson. There is nothing wrong with a script for school.
2. Ask a Question. The best way to contribute to the lesson is to ask questions. Whenever you don't understand something, or feel like an issue or topic is unclear, raise your finger and ask a question. It's a rule of thumb that every time a student doesn't understand something, there are probably five more who don't have the guts to raise their finger. Be the brave.
   • Only ask questions that benefit the rest of the group, or that apply to the group. It is not appropriate to raise your hand and start talking about your rehearsal grade that you just got back.
3. Support a comment from another student. If you are having a group discussion and you are looking for something to say, there are usually good opportunities to hitch a ride with comments from other students, which has the effect of saying something, even if you aren't.
   • Wait for someone to say something that sounds good, then back it up with, "I agree," and repeat what the other person has said in your own words. Easily Earned Points.
4. Paraphrase. Get in the habit of tweaking things that have already been said and translating them into your own version, adding bits and pieces as you talk. This is a great way to contribute to the lesson without actually saying anything that hasn't been said before. Of course it is better to add some so that it is worthwhile for your teacher.
   • If someone says, "I think this book is really about the dynamics of the family and the bad things that hide them all, you know," put on your translation hat and polish the comment a little. Make it something like, "Agree." I think you can really see the patriarchy at work in the father-son relationship depicted in this novel, particularly in the protagonist's demise.
   • You get bonus points for pointing out specific characteristics. Find a quote or problem in your book that illustrates a point made by someone else.
5. Try to give at least one contribution per lesson. In general, you don't have to be the most talkative person in your class, just talkative enough to make your presence known. Usually this means saying something at least once per lesson. This can also have the effect of stopping the teacher from questioning you later, while the rest of the class is quiet. Plan a point, name it, then sit back and listen.

Tips

• Do something that makes you feel good. Dress well, make up, brush your teeth, chew gum. Put on some perfume to boost your confidence!
• Don't practice what you plan to say. Don't write a text for yourself, and don't worry about every word, or you won't get it.
• Just try to be yourself and stay friendly and cheerful.
• Go with the flow of things. Keep it natural. Talk about your surroundings or the daily topics of contemporary events. Use your freedom of speech.

Warnings

• Talk not with people who seem really unkind, just to prove to yourself that you are talkative; they can respond nicely, but they may not.
• If you're an introvert and enjoy being alone, don't try to change yourself too much. Just do whatever suits your nature.
• Quiet people and introverts shouldn't try to change themselves based on these suggestions.