Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Take control of your thoughts
• Method 2 of 3: Get rid of paranoia when socializing
• Method 3 of 3: Overcoming Situational Examples of Paranoia
• Tips
• Warnings

Are you always afraid that something is going to happen to you? Do you often find yourself looking over your shoulder or thinking that others are talking about you? If these scenarios describe you, you may be experiencing paranoia. Being paranoid can stem from negative thoughts / beliefs or problems with your self-esteem. Paranoia can even be a sign of a bigger problem, such as with paranoid schizophrenia, in which case you should contact a doctor immediately.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Take control of your thoughts

1. Overcome pessimism. One reason you are paranoid may be that you tend to assume the worst in any situation, rather than being realistic about possible outcomes. You may think that everyone is talking about you, that everyone hates your new haircut, or that your new boss is out to get you. But it is entirely possible that none of this is true. The next time you have a really pessimistic thought, stop it and do the following:
   • Ask yourself how likely the pessimistic thought you have is to come true.
   • When you assume the worst, think of all the possible outcomes of a situation, not just the worst.Then you will see that there are many possibilities in almost any situation.
   • Try to combat every pessimistic thought you have with two realistic thoughts. For example, if you are concerned that everyone is smiling at your shoes, remember that 1) a pair of shoes is unlikely to keep everyone laughing all day, and 2) a new, hilarious cat picture is more likely to find its way at the office through the messaging system.
2. Stop obsessing over every little thing. In part, being paranoid means not only assuming that everyone is against you, or wants to get you, but also that you are constant thinks about it. The more you think about the same negative thing, the more you wallow in your paranoid thoughts, and the more convinced you become that it's probably right. While it's impossible to stop being obsessive completely, there are a few tricks that can help you minimize your obsessive thoughts:
   • Give yourself an assigned worry time. Spend this time sitting with your paranoid thoughts, evaluating them, and trying to minimize them. If concerns arise at a different time of the day, try moving it to you mentally worry time.
   • Keep a journal about your paranoid thoughts. Reread it weekly. Not only can this help you discharge some of your paranoid feelings in a healthier way, but it can also help you see that some of your paranoid fears were completely unfounded when you read back what you wrote. You could see that you were worried that X would happen on a certain date. If that date has passed, and X did not happen, you may be able to accept that many of your paranoid beliefs are not guaranteed.
3. Confide in a good friend. Having someone to talk to about your paranoid feelings can help you release your concerns and gain a different perspective. Even the act of speaking out your fears can help you see how illogical they can be.
   • If you tell your friend that you think your group of friends actually hates you, your friend will be able to provide rational and concrete evidence that you are wrong.
   • Just make sure to choose a friend who is rational and even-tempered. You don't want someone who can encourage your paranoid behavior and make you feel worse.
4. Keep yourself busy. Another way to avoid getting paranoid is to not give yourself time to wallow or keep thinking about what everyone else thinks about you. While keeping yourself busy cannot help you escape your problems, it can help you focus your energies on more productive outlets, such as pursuing or maintaining your personal goals.
   • If you spend even a few hours a week pursuing something you really love, be it yoga or coin collecting, you're guaranteed to become less obsessed with your paranoid thoughts.
5. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. This exercise really helps. If you put yourself in the shoes of the people you worry about so much, it will help you see that many of your fears are unfounded. As a simple example, let's say you're headed to a party and tell yourself that Everyone will probably see that I am wearing the same thing as to the party three weeks ago. Ask yourself if you remember what everyone else wore at that other party; the chance that you remembered what everyone wore is very small.
   • Ask yourself the likelihood that all the people you worry about will think about you as often as you are afraid they will think about you. Do you spend hours thinking about how much you dislike those other people? Probably not.
6. See if your paranoia is rooted in an anxiety disorder. If you have an anxiety disorder, you may be plagued with worry and a constant fear that something will go wrong. An anxiety disorder can even trigger paranoid thoughts, although these two conditions are different. An anxiety disorder can make you worry about suffering from a deadly disease; on the other hand, paranoia can lead you to believe that your doctor made you sick on purpose.
   • If an anxiety disorder is in fact the root cause of your problems, it is wise to seek medical attention or take action to stop the anxiety disorder.
7. Seek professional help if needed. There is a difference between worrying every now and then that all your friends are talking about you and letting this thought preoccupy you. There is also a difference between knowing that your thoughts are in a sense irrational and suffering from serious delusions that everyone is really out to hurt you. If you feel like your paranoid feelings are taking over your life and are holding you back from enjoying your daily interactions and socialization, talk to a psychologist or other mental health professional to get help for your condition.

Method 2 of 3: Get rid of paranoia when socializing

1. Stop worrying about what other people think. If you want to be able to socialize without constantly worrying about how others see you, then slowly learn to stop caring about what people think. Of course this is easier said than done, but once you have started to believe in yourself and feel comfortable around others, you will see that every little thing you do, say or wear doesn't really matter to people around you.
   • Work on being less self-aware. Self-aware people are concerned about the subjective experience of others, which is something no one can really control. Realize that no matter what anyone thinks of you, they have the power to think it. Sometimes others comment on us that reflects what we think of ourselves. Even in those cases, this does not make the opinion a fact. Focus on shaking off those comments and stop questioning yourself every time someone gives a subjective opinion of you.
   • Work on accepting yourself unconditionally. Regardless of whether you've just tripped over a rug or put your hair up, you're still human. All humans are flawed creatures. Embrace your natural quirks and stop thinking everyone is perfect except you. Do you have to go back to reality? Visit YouTube and watch some clumsy videos to remind yourself that all people make mistakes - and sometimes those mistakes are funny.
2. Show yourself. Many paranoid people are so afraid that no one likes them or wants to hang out with them that they are much more likely to sit at home alone rather than in a social setting. If you never go out, you will always expect the worst because you never experience the positive aspects of social interaction. Make it a goal to get out and interact with people on a regular basis, or at least once or twice a week.
   • The more time you spend socializing, the more you become comfortable with the people around you and the less likely you are to imagine that they all hate you.
3. Notice all the kindness around you. After hanging out with a group of friends or even talking to a neighbor on your street, or the cashier at the neighborhood supermarket, you would have gotten at least a few positive impressions of the world from your fellow residents. At the end of each day or week, write down all the good things that happened when you connected with other people, all the positive feelings they gave you, and all the reasons these contacts were beneficial to your life.
   • If you feel paranoid, read this list again. Reminding yourself of all the concrete reasons why you should be more confident in the intentions of others can help calm your paranoid thoughts.
4. Learn to accept criticism. You may think someone hates you when they only criticize you constructively and tell you how to improve yourself. If your teacher gives you a bad grade on a writing assignment, read the feedback and try to see if he has a point, instead of assuming you got the bad grade because your teacher just doesn't like you.
   • If you have received hurtful criticism, remember that how you receive it is entirely up to you. You can cry or wallow in it for weeks, or you can see it as an opportunity to improve yourself. Write down the critical comment and consider its validity. If there is the slightest chance that the criticism is valid, then you should think carefully about whether this is an aspect of yourself that you want to change, or whether you are willing to remain unchanged.
5. Accept that there are mean people in the world. Unfortunately, not everyone you meet or interact with will like or be nice to you. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't go out! In fact, being aware that there are mean, carefree, and bitter people in the world will make you appreciate the good people in your life even more. If someone is downright mean to you for no reason, then you have to learn to accept that it is a result of that person's insecurities and personal problems, and not something you did.
   • Remind yourself that it takes all kinds of people to make the world. Not everyone will become your best friend, but that doesn't mean everyone wants to be your worst enemy.

Method 3 of 3: Overcoming Situational Examples of Paranoia

1. Confront your partner if you think he or she is cheating on you. If you're concerned that your current partner is cheating on you - especially if you had this concern with every person you've hooked up with - there's a chance that your concerns are rooted in paranoia. Ask yourself if you have any concrete evidence that this is happening or that all your worries exist only in your head.
   • Be open and talk to your partner about it. Tell him or her you know your feelings are irrational and you want help addressing them.
   • Do not accuse your partner of cheating or check every two seconds when you are not together that he or she is not cheating on you. This will only make your partner feel like there is a lack of trust in the relationship.
   • Keep your own identity. If you become too obsessed with the person you are dating or become too dependent on him or her, it is even more likely that you are paranoid because you feel completely dependent on that person's loyalty. Maintain other relationships outside of a romantic.
2. Wonder if your friends are really talking about you. Ask yourself what you and your group of friends are talking about when one of you isn't there - do you spend all of your time gossiping and talking about how much you hate that person? Unless you have a very gossiping or mean group of friends, you probably won't be. Ask yourself how likely people are to talk about you as soon as you leave.
   • Are your friends inviting you to join? Do they send you messages? Do they compliment you? Do they ask you for advice? If so, why would you think they hate you completely?
3. Fight paranoia at work. A common concern people tend to have at work is that they are always about to be fired, or that their boss hates them. If this sounds familiar to you, ask yourself what evidence you really have that you are going to lose your job. Do you arrive at work on time? Do you put in your hours? Are you showing improvement? If so, why would you be fired? If you haven't had any warning signs, and people around you are not fired left and right, then it is very likely that your worries are only in your head.
   • Help yourself feel better by making a list of all the good contributions you have made at work.
   • List all the compliments and positive feedback your boss has given you. And now write down all the negative things you have been told. You will see that the positive transcends the negative, and that they are not making an action plan to shift your efforts in a positive direction.
4. Remember that not everyone looks at you when you stand out. Another form of paranoia is ego-driven. You may think that as soon as you step into the room or at a party, everyone is staring at you, smiling at you or making fun of you behind your back. Ask yourself how often you stare at any person arriving; Chances are that, like most people, you are much more concerned with what you look like and how others see you than you are paying all that attention to someone else.

Tips

• Hold on. Constantly worrying that others are trying to hurt you is exhausting, and acting on those concerns can result in situations that are very painful for you. It is well. Forgive yourself again. You are good. Keep trying.
• Believe in yourself, you have the confidence to do whatever you want. Don't let little things bother you or keep you from achieving your goal.
• Most people tend to feel a little sharp and sensitive, especially when it comes to paranoia, when they are sleep deprived. Get a good night's sleep (about 8 to 9 a.m.) and you'll probably feel better. It's normal to feel a little anxious at times, but not always.
• Think for a few seconds about how many wonderful and special things there are about you. If you think you are being criticized by others but are unsure, silently tell yourself that: I am great just the way I am, and laugh a little.
• Take a deep breath. In, out, in, out. This helps your brain get the oxygen it needs to calm down.

Warnings

• Trying to ignore the paranoia for several months can mean it becomes permanent, so don't just let it go. Don't tackle this alone or with well-meaning friends who don't know what they're doing.
• If you are continuously paranoid for one or two months and it is causing problems with your ability to function, you should see a psychologist or psychiatrist right away.