Content

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• Method 1 of 3: Dealing with gossipers
• Method 2 of 3: Dealing with the talk
• Method 3 of 3: Think differently about gossip

It is very annoying when people talk about you behind your back. Since this gossip can be very subtle at times, it is often difficult to trace its source. That's why you probably only make things worse if you confront the gossipers about it. It's best to ignore them. You can also engage in positive activities and change your perspective on gossip.

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Method 1 of 3: Dealing with gossipers

1. Do nothing. Even though you tend to address or confront these people, it is sometimes better to ignore the gossip. Just think: These people don't bother to say to my face what others have told them. So why should I bother talking to them about this. Stop the negative spiral by completely ignoring the gossip.
2. Be nice to them. Another good response to gossip is a friendly attitude. They will be surprised that you are so nice when they have been so negative about you. Plus, they might feel guilty for gossiping about you.
   • Give the other person a genuine compliment, such as, "Gee Rosa, you worked really hard on those posters. The pictures are great".
3. Set limits to the gossip. If you need to be around the gossipers a lot, keep them at a distance. If you spend a lot of time with them, you don't have to be close friends with them just yet.
   • Be cordial, but don't get too close to the gossipers. Don't tell them anything personal about yourself because they can use that against you.
4. Verify the motives of the person who pointed out the gossip to you. If a close friend or acquaintance has told you about the gossip, you must first make sure that the person wants the best for you. Most close friends wouldn't gossip about you or want to hurt you. If this person was involved in the gossip, find out why he / she wanted to tell you and how he / she responded to the gossip.
   • You can ask questions like, "How did you know this was happening?" or "What did you say when they said that about me?" You can also simply ask, "Why are you telling me this?" to better understand his / her motives.
   • You don't necessarily have to end the relationship with the messenger. However, it may be wise to keep a closer eye on this person. He / she may not be as innocent as he / she pretends to be. Maybe he / she is feeding the gossip rather than trying to stop it.
5. Do not participate in gossip yourself. When people gossip about you, you know how unpleasant it feels. However, it doesn't help if you start gossiping yourself. Some people just enjoy talking about other people's business, but they can't if they don't have a listening audience.
   • Next time someone wants to tell you a gossip, say, "You know, this sounds like gossip. I'd rather not talk about her if she can't defend herself."
6. Talk to a superior. If malicious gossip is affecting your work or school results, you may need to discuss the problem with a superior. A teacher, rector or dean may be able to help solve the problem.
   • You can say, "I have problems with other students / colleagues. I think they are spreading gossip about me, and I can't focus on my school / work like that. Can you talk to them?"
   • The students or colleagues in question may have a reputation for gossiping or bullying, so the superior can hold them accountable.

Method 2 of 3: Dealing with the talk

1. Distract yourself. It can be difficult to focus on your school or work when others talk about you behind your back. Rather than paying attention to the negativity, put your energy into positive activities to distract yourself.
   • You can clean your desk, go for a walk, app with a friend or set a personal deadline to finish a project.
2. Spend time with positive people. When people talk about you, you can feel very alone. Fight this feeling by going the extra mile to be with the people who care about you. These people can boost your mood, boost your confidence and even make you forget all about gossip.
   • Call your best friend and ask if he / she wants to meet you. You can also spend more time with your partner or family.
3. Remind yourself how great you are. When people talk about you behind your back, you may start to question your strengths and abilities. Don't fall prey to self-criticism. Try to remind yourself of the value you have as a person by thinking about specific things that you like about yourself. Sit down and make a list.
   • Write down all of your positive traits, things you like about yourself, and traits that others appreciate in you. You can write things like "I am a good listener", "I am always there for others", or "I am creative".
4. Do something nice for yourself. Positive actions produce positive thoughts and feelings. If the gossip makes you angry with yourself, treat yourself as nicely as you would a friend. Do things that you enjoy, such as walking the dog or painting your toenails. Set aside some time each day to love yourself.

Method 3 of 3: Think differently about gossip

1. Don't take it personally. Remember, the gossipers' words say more about them than they do about you. You cannot control what others say about you, but you can control how you respond to it. Think of gossip as something the other person apparently needed to do. Refuse to be a victim of other people's problems.
2. Realize that they might be jealous of you. It may not seem like that when people talk negatively about you, but often they do so because they feel intimidated by you. They may be jealous of your looks, your talent, or your popularity. Their nasty words may just be meant to hurt you.
3. Recognize a lack of self-esteem. Another common cause of gossip is a lack of self-esteem among gossipers. People who talk negatively about you may do so to make themselves feel better. The people who gossip about you often don't feel good about themselves or lack self-esteem. That is why they also talk negatively about others.
   • That's why a friendly response or a compliment can put an end to negative comments. These people just want some positive attention because deep down they don't feel good.