Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Blending in with the crowd
• Method 2 of 3: Become elusive
• Method 3 of 3: Have obscure taste
• Tips
• Warnings

If you ask people what exactly "obscure" means, you will likely get a lot of different answers. For some, "being obscure" means living your life without drawing any kind of attention. For others, "being obscure" means having obscure taste in art, music, and the like. Regardless of what your definition of the word "obscure" is, by following a few simple steps it is not that difficult at all to enter the obscurity.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Blending in with the crowd

1. Match your behavior to that of others. This may be the best way to avoid drawing attention. Do whatever everyone around you is doing. If your behavior is indistinguishable from the people around you, then there is little chance that someone will pick you out to pay special attention to - especially if you are in a large group. If you want to blend in, start by exploring the "crowd" around you. Ask yourself what the people around you are doing. Are they talking to each other? If so, how friendly are they to each other? How do they seem to behave? The answers to these questions will help you align your behavior with that of the people around you.
   • This step is of course very dependent on the context. If you sit in a busy waiting room, you won't be noticed if you sit and read softly in a corner. But if you do that at a party, you will definitely stand out. So pay close attention to your surroundings.
2. Try to look very plain. Even if you perfectly match your behavior and attitude with those of the people around you, you can easily catch the eye. This is possible, for example, if you look striking. Some fashion choices, such as tattoos, are permanent. So there isn't much you can do to cover that up. However, the clothes you wear and (to a lesser extent) the hairstyle you have are in your own hands. So try to keep your clothes and hairstyle as simple and casual as possible, so that you can go through life unobtrusively.
   • Here's an example of a "casual" look that won't attract attention in non-formal situations. The look is also suitable for men and women:

     • Jeans

       T-shirt

       A simple cardigan with a hood

       Sports shoes / sneakers

       A neat, short haircut (for men); straight hair or a bun (for women)

       Light make-up, and not too much jewelry (for women)

   • You can find a lot of other cheap, low-profile outfits on the internet.For example, use a search engine or look for budget fashion blogs.
3. Keep your opinion to yourself. If you speak up unnecessarily, you are guaranteed to stand out. So if you're trying to blend in with the crowd, you better keep your mouth shut when no one has asked for your opinion. In the necessary contact, you should keep your responses polite and friendly, but also short and concise. The more you go into certain (especially personal) topics, the less anonymous you become.
   • This advice also strongly depends on the context. If you are on the bus you can of course keep your mouth shut. However, if you remain silent when you are asked a question in class, you will draw unnecessary attention to yourself. "Keeping your opinion to yourself" also means knowing when to remain silent is more conspicuous than speaking.
4. Don't look people in the eye. Eye contact is a potent social tool — it is a way in which you can establish an immediate connection with someone without having to exchange a word. Recent research has shown that eye contact is not necessary to make people like you or agree with you. If you want to remain completely anonymous, you will want to avoid eye contact at all times - unless certain situations require eye contact. This means that you do not look people in the eye when you are walking or driving outdoors. And if you find yourself in situations where people might start talking to you, you will want to avoid eye contact until the conversation has started.
   • People who are naturally shy or socially awkward may have a hard time maintaining eye contact. Since the inability to maintain eye contact can attract as much attention as too much eye contact, you could practice this with a friend. You can even choose to practice in front of a TV or a mirror if you're really bad at it. Medical research has proven that the ability to maintain eye contact can be improved with exercise.
5. Do not approach other people. It speaks for itself. If you're trying to be a wallflower, don't approach other people. Do not initiate conversations either. If you find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to start a conversation with you, you should of course respond politely and honestly. But don't start conversations with strangers if you don't have to. Rather keep your distance and talk to one of your friends. You can also choose to take in the environment.
6. Enjoy solitary or anonymous pursuits. As mentioned in the advice above, you will be less likely to stand out if you do not make contact with people you do not know. So try to spend your free time doing things that don't require other people (or maybe a few close friends). There are hundreds of fun, exciting things you can do on your own. You can really enjoy yourself and grow as a person, while you stay in the background. Below are some suggestions for fun solitaire hobbies:
   • Learn to play an instrument or compose your own music
   • Read
   • Sports (e.g. running, swimming, cycling, lifting weights, etc.)
   • Learn a new skill
   • Explore Nature / Geocaching (Please notify someone if you are going into the wilderness)
   • Writing (e.g. short stories, blogs, writing for websites with user-generated content, etc.)
7. Don't go off the beaten track. This is the first commandment for wallflowers and people who do not want unwanted attention. Do not go against other people in public. Do not behave differently from the people around you. Do not speak, behave, or dress in a way that is considered "out of the ordinary". Never question society or your role in society. If you don't quite agree with the status quo, then you do well by keeping it to yourself - unless you're looking for the extra attention, of course.
   • Know that a life in absolute anonymity places certain restrictions on you. You will miss out on all kinds of opportunities for self-expression. Try to keep things in perspective - the attention you get from questioning the status quo is scary, but a lot better than constantly fearing the consequences.

Method 2 of 3: Become elusive

1. Be mysterious. It's incredibly useful to create a mysterious persona for yourself. Be a man / woman of few words, and make sure those few words always matter. Try to keep a straight face at all times, even when you're joking. Talk about the universal, leave out the details and get vague. Let others guess your true motives. With a little luck (and practice) you will amaze and intrigue others.
   • For example, let's compare a mysterious exchange with a non-mysterious one. Suppose an attractive person walks up to you and asks, "Hey, didn't I run into you at that bookstore? A common reaction to that might be," Yes! I go every weekend because they have a good range. What's your name? "This is fine and friendly, but it could be a little more mystical. Choose something like," Mmm. Dostoevsky is brilliant, isn't it? ”This comment is a bit less bite and will lead to more additional questions.
   • There are numerous resources on the internet where you can learn to be mysterious. Often these are date guides for a male audience, but there are tons of information resources for women as well.
2. Be unpredictable. If no one can predict exactly what you will do, then no one will be able to define you. Keep people on their toes by doing what you want to at all times. Are you on a date? Peep into a bar you've never been to before. Are you stuck at the airport? Grab your guitar and start a sing-along with the people around you. Realizing your wilder impulses will make you absolutely elusive.
   • However, unpredictability also involves risks. That one bar you slipped into can be really nasty, and the people you want them to sing along to might look at you with your neck. You can learn to deal with these occasional failures by keeping your cool and being indifferent to the opinions and expectations of others.
3. Don't care what other people think. Once people start caring about what other people think of them, they become predictable. And when people become predictable, they lose their mystique. To get that mysterious, elusive personality you want so badly, it's incredibly important to think highly of yourself (even when others with bad taste might not). You are not looking for the approval of others; you are looking for your approval.
   • Many self-help books and courses also often write about the importance of this. Click on this link to learn how to disregard what other people think.
4. Pursue different interests. A wide variety of hobbies and interests not only keeps your life varied and interesting, but also keeps people guessing at you. Keeping your interests as diverse as possible will ensure that people always have something to ask you - this will make you appear exciting and exotic. Try to pursue as many different passions as possible. For example, play basketball on Friday, study medieval literature on Saturday, and write to your blog on Sunday.
   • Know, however, that it can be incredibly difficult to get really good at something when you're doing so many different things. Learning to play an instrument, for example, requires a lot of consistent practice. So you might want to take some time to work on long-term skills — the rest of the time can be spent on your many other interests.
5. Be cautious with personal details. If you want to become elusive, then you shouldn't reveal too much about yourself. For example, consider Bond (James Bond) - when people ask him about themselves, he always gives them just enough information, but never too much. Make sure you don't reveal too much information about yourself so that the people you talk to will find you irresistible. If you tease them with short, crafty answers about yourself, they'll want to learn more about you. Before they know it, they will be hanging on your every word.
6. Stay calm. If you want to be elusive, it is extremely important to be able to keep your cool. If you can keep your cool, your mystique and unpredictability often come out well; if you can't, however, it won't make a good impression. For example, if you get nervous, frustrated, or disdainful when people ask about you, you're not going to get a good reputation - at least not the elusive and mysterious reputation you so badly want. Therefore always try to stay relaxed and clear in social interaction. If you do that, you will become the (dark, silent and obscure) sun in the house. Below are some techniques that can help you unwind:
   • Meditation
   • Get enough sleep
   • Breathing Exercises
   • "Cooling down" after strenuous activities
   • Sport
   • Spending more time alone (e.g. reading, watching a movie, using the internet, etc.)

Method 3 of 3: Have obscure taste

1. Listen to obscure music. You can recognize the too-cool-for-school hipsters by the fashionably obscure music they listen to. Grab your playlists full of unknown bands, niche genres and rare recordings. This is a must if you want to build a reputation as someone with a nose for the obscure. Try to listen to bands and artists that you know few people know - the smaller and more unknown the better.
   • Of course, you don't have to download unspeakable amateur junk to get a taste for obscure music. If you're moving from mainstream music to more obscure artists, start by reading the reviews on websites associated with "hipster stuff." Think of sites like Pitchfork.com, Avclub.com and indie blogs. This way you can keep up to date with good, obscure music.
   • For hipster bonus points, you can buy albums of your favorite obscure artists on vinyl.
2. Watch obscure movies. Another way to show that your taste is obscure is to develop a fondness for unknown cinematographic masterpieces. For example, organize a screening of the latest movie from your favorite indie director. Or introduce your friends to underrated cult classics. This way you can build a reputation as a connoisseur. This interest also gives you something you can talk about with others, since almost everyone watches movies (think, "Oh, do you like Tarantino? Then you think Sergio Corbucci’s The Great Silence probably awesome too. ")
   • Unfortunately, indie and art house films often don't have the budget to run large-scale advertising campaigns. So it could just be that, unless you deliberately look for them, the films will no longer be shown in the cinema if you want to watch them. Sign up for an online newsletter from local arthouse cinemas. Also check out websites that focus on independent cinema (such as thedissolve.com) - so you can keep up to date with the latest developments in the world of the obscure film.
   • You can also choose to visit film festivals. Small, independent films are often screened at festivals before they are distributed. Moreover, some films (especially those by very unknown directors) only run at the film festivals. You can search online for festival calendars like this one.
3. Read obscure literature. Books rarely provide the immediate satisfaction that music and film provide, but for many the long-lasting impact of books is unparalleled. Reading books that few people have heard of can help you cultivate a refined and learned mystique that you can't get by devouring obscure music and movies. If you're not currently reading for pleasure (and not many people these days), try to read at least a few good, obscure books a year. You will develop a satisfying new habit and impress people with your eclectic taste.
   • To learn about obscure books, check out literary websites and forums (such as Goodreads.com). On these sites you can find reviews, recommendations and "new releases" that can guide you to the latest and greatest books.
4. Enjoy the obscure cuisine. Cooking is an art form in which almost everyone participates in one way or another. By cultivating an appreciation for unusual foods, and eventually learning how to make them yourself, you will impress people with your obscure taste. In addition, you will gain a skill that will allow you to enjoy your meals a lot more - as well as entertain others. If you're not sure where to start, try searching the internet for your favorite foreign recipes (e.g. Italian, Japanese, Ethiopian, Middle Eastern, etc.) Then try switching to categories you're not familiar with. are. Be adventurous! Practice makes perfect.
   • You don't have to plunder your bank account to prepare delicious meals. Search online for budget recipe sites to get inspiration for delicious and nutritious recipes. These can be an excellent addition to your diet and cost only a fraction of the price of more upscale meals.
5. Dress obscure. There is no way around it: most people are shortsighted. Even before someone has had a chance to talk to you, they will have made a judgment about you based on your appearance. To show that you have obscure taste, you can dress in an unorthodox way. For example, you can go for a vintage look, where you wear clothing that was once very fashionable but now mainly breathes retro. Or opt for an avant-garde look, combining patterns and styles in a way that has never been done before. Be creative. Your style is unique, so make the most of it. Enjoy going against the everyday tastes of normal people.
   • You don't have to spend a lot of money to be stylish. If you want to update your wardrobe without having to raid your bank account, you can go to the thrift store. These stores often have all kinds of clothes in their range that have fallen out of fashion - these cost a lot less than clothes of the latest fashion (the only downside is that sometimes you have to search hard to find something nice).
6. Have obscure friends. Everyone is affected to some degree by the people they hang out with. Other people can provide us with new perspectives and introduce us to people we would otherwise never have met. In addition, people are often judged by the company with which they surround themselves. If you really want people to think you have obscure tastes, try hanging out with unusual types. People who see you with your "obscure" friends will mentally associate you with them. This way you can give the impression as if you belong to a wonderful group of quirky yet like-minded people.
   • The best place to meet obscure people is where you can find obscure music, movies, books, and the like. So attend concerts by up-and-coming indie bands, local film festivals, independent bookstores, ethnic restaurants, and so on, and so on.

Tips

• Don't worry about rudeness or kindness. Obscurity has to do with neither.
• When someone asks you about your favorite music or interests, don't start listing your favorite artists. Rather say you think it is boring and mundane.

Warnings

• Don't get so obscure and lonely that you tire of life. Seek professional help immediately if you have suicidal thoughts!
• If you follow this advice, it will be difficult to be successful in life - especially in the business world.