Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Working on yourself
• Part 2 of 3: Identifying the cause of your jealousy
• Part 3 of 3: Talking to your best friend
• Tips

Have you ever been jealous of your best friend? Jealousy is a negative emotion that occurs when you want what someone else has. The things that cause jealousy can be about material things, a prize or a tribute, a friendship, love, money or experiences. While anyone can experience jealousy at any time, it is unhealthy to be jealous, especially people you love.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Working on yourself

1. Think about your insecurities. In many cases, once you know what your insecurities or challenges are, you'll be able to turn them into your strengths, which will limit jealousy. While examining yourself for flaws is not an easy task, you should still give it a try.
   • Remind yourself that you are more than just your insecurities.
   • Try to stay positive as you look for those areas of yourself that you are unsure about. Remind yourself of qualities of yourself that you trust or like.
   • Remember that with a little time and effort, you can turn any uncertainty into a strength. For example, you may be lonely and want more friends, but you are not really outgoing. Then practice being outgoing and friendly to people you don't know, and eventually your shyness will disappear and you will have made new friends.
2. Work on your self-esteem. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person. There are many ways to work on your self-esteem including, but not limited to:
   • Knowing your strengths. Are you a good student? Do you excel at sports? Can you listen carefully or keep secrets from your friends?
   • By actively engaging in the things you are good at, you can remember your strengths and work on your self-esteem.
   • Keep a list of every compliment you received during a week. Read these compliments again if you feel insecure.
   • Work on your weaknesses. Maybe you are crappy at bowling and your best friend is a good bowler. You can learn to bowl better with practice.
3. Seek happiness in yourself. It's easy to get jealous of the people around you when you're not happy with yourself. Feeling inadequate increases the likelihood that you will experience jealousy. You can find happiness in yourself by doing the following:
   • Focus on your inner strength. When you focus on appearances, such as popularity or income, those things can change and your self-esteem will collapse. When you focus on inner factors, your self-esteem will be based on a much more stable foundation and you will be happier with yourself.
   • Practice your daily intentions. Remind yourself that you are able to give and receive love, attention, and respect, and that you deserve these things. Post these thoughts where you can see them, such as on a mirror or the monitor of your computer. Say this out loud every day. Visual mnemonics can be especially helpful with affirmations.
4. Regain control of your emotions. Do not let your emotions be at the helm of your life, because then you will always respond from your emotions. Instead, you want every emotion you feel to be your own choice. You have given yourself permission to feel what you feel, and you are in control of your emotions. When you get jealous or angry, remind yourself that you are responding, and choose to stop such feelings that way.
   • Ask yourself what you are feeling and if you want to feel this way.
   • If you don't want to feel that way, take a few deep breaths and focus on the emotion you do want to feel.
   • Make the choice to feel the way you want to feel.
   • For example, if you want to feel happiness, focus on feeling happy, find out what makes you happy, and maintain a positive mental assent.

Part 2 of 3: Identifying the cause of your jealousy

1. Ask yourself what makes you feel jealous. It is important to find out the cause of your jealousy. While you may think that you are jealous of something superficial, if you take a closer look at your jealousy, you may find that there is probably a specific cause of your jealousy, which you can then change. Ask yourself the following:
   • Are you jealous of your best friend because you think she's more beautiful than you are? What makes her more beautiful than you? Is it her hairstyle, clothes or her make-up? Is it her attitude or confidence?
   • If you are jealous of your girlfriend's haircut, you can go to the hairdresser and get your hair done in a similar style. If you are jealous of her clothes or make-up, you can go shopping to buy new clothes or do some makeup. If you are jealous of her attitude, you can work on your own build, posture and self-confidence, and soon you will have a completely new look.
   • Once you figure out what you are specifically jealous of, you can start working on yourself to get rid of that jealousy.
2. Disconnect your emotions from the situation that triggered them and then analyze them. Ask yourself if what you are jealous of will still be important in a year. You often envy something temporary and trivial. Once you have analyzed your feelings and disconnected from the situation, you may begin to realize that you feel jealous for irrational or unreasonable reasons. If so, remind yourself that you are acting irrationally and analyze your jealousy.
   • For example: A rational person who is in control of his or her emotions would not be jealous of a close friend when they receive a compliment from a third party for his or her shoes. If you notice that you are jealous of your friend at that moment, know that he / she was not asked for the compliment; that your friend's shoes are great; and that you have some great shoes yourself, even if others didn't notice them at the time. There is no need to be jealous for such a trivial reason.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others. When you constantly compare yourself to others, you create insecurities and notice differences that breed jealousy. Instead, just compare yourself to yourself. Try this:
   • Maybe take a break from social media until your self-esteem has improved. Social media gives you the impression that all other people's lives are perfect and full of abundance.
   • Remember what you're doing and what you had a year ago, and compare yourself to that person. You will be putting the spotlight on your personal successes and progress, which will help build your self-esteem and lessen your tendency to feel jealousy.
   • Make a list of things you are doing, the goals you had, and the successes in your life a year ago. Then list the things you are doing now, the goals you have now, and the successes you have now achieved. If necessary, indicate in specific terms which goals you have achieved.

Part 3 of 3: Talking to your best friend

1. Admit your jealousy. Once you have identified the root of your jealousy and a solution to that problem, talk to your best friend.
   • For example: You can tell your best friend that you are jealous of her because she has a haircut that you like, and ask her if she's okay with you getting your hair done the same way. You can even ask her if she can recommend a good hair salon to you. Make it a time to strengthen your bond and friendship.
   • Know that you own your feelings and that you are in control of them.
   • instead of saying, "Your hair makes me jealous!" you try, "I am jealous of your hair. It's really great. "In this way, you use" I "statements, instead of" you "statements, to talk about your jealousy.
   • Also indicate where your jealousy can come from, such as that you were bullied in the past, a relationship in which you were abused, etc.
2. Communicate openly with your friend. Sometimes a good conversation can solve the whole problem with your best friend. Be honest about your feelings and don't project these feelings onto him or her.
   • Use "I" statements: "I feel this way because ..."
   • Make sure you communicate in two directions, which means that you listen carefully to your best friend's reaction to the confession of jealousy.
   • Try to work on getting rid of your jealousy by talking about it.
   • Encourage your friend to share her feelings with you too.
3. Return to why you two are friends. If you are still unable to tone down your jealousy even after working on yourself, identifying the root of your jealousy, and talking about it with your friend, then it is time to remind yourself of the importance of your friendship. Often this is enough to diminish feelings of jealousy.
   • What made you best friends?
   • Think about your favorite shared memories.
   • Understand that your jealousy can destroy your friendship if you don't learn to control it.
   • Ask yourself what is more important to you: your friendship or your jealousy.
   • Make sure you are not jealous because your friend is very critical or harsh on you and makes you feel inferior. If so, you may be dealing with an unhealthy friendship.

Tips

• Focus on the things you have, rather than the things you don't.
• Be positive. Live your life. Enjoy what you have.
• Always remember that you are beautiful and special in your own way.
• Always be honest with your best friend.
• Talk about your feelings in a way that is not offensive.
• Remember that your friend loves you for who you are, not what you have or don't have.
• This takes time, but be patient and work slowly. Set yourself small goals and work thoroughly on each step before moving on to the next.
• Avoid saying things when you're angry that you might regret later.