Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Address the reasons why you cry
• Part 2 of 2: About crying and how to prevent it
• Tips

Crying is a natural instinct. It is one of the first things a newborn does, and people will continue to cry throughout their lives. It can convey your feelings to others and some studies even suggest that it indicates a need for social support. Crying can also be an emotional or behavioral response to something you see, hear, or think. Sometimes you may feel like you want to be alone for a while to "cry out." This is natural, normal and can be very liberating. But intense crying can be very stressful on the body, speed up your heart rate and your breathing. Understandably, you want to stop crying when you're really upset. Fortunately, there are several things you can do to stop crying.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Address the reasons why you cry

1. Calm yourself with deep breathing. This can be difficult while you are sobbing, but still do your best to take a deep breath (through your nose if possible), hold your breath for a count of 7, then exhale slowly for a count of 8. Do 5 full breaths. If you're crying really hard, you may start to hyperventilate, which can be a scary experience if you're already anxious. Try deep breathing a few times a day or at times when you feel particularly tense.
   • Breathing deeply and slowly can help you regain control of hyperventilation, slow heart rate, improve circulation, and reduce stress.
2. Learn to recognize if you have negative or sad thoughts. There are several times when you may not be able to stop crying because you keep having sad or negative thoughts. You may think of something like, "He's gone from me forever," or "I don't have anyone ..." At that point, recognizing the thought may make you feel like it's only getting worse, but it's the first step towards regaining control of your thoughts and tears.
   • If this doesn't work right now, think about the thoughts you had at the time when you are done crying.
3. Write down what upset you. If you are too upset to produce a smooth running sentence, feel free to write down what you want. Write sloppy or scribble if necessary. You can list incomplete sentences, fill a page with a large meaningful word, or fill a page with emotional words. The point is to put these feelings and thoughts on paper and get a little out of your mind. At a later stage you can reflect on these feelings and thoughts and discuss them when you have become more calm.
   • For example, you could write something like, "So bad," "Hurt, betrayed, insulted." Writing down what is bothering you can also help you talk to someone who might hurt you.
4. Distract yourself physically. To break the cycle of negative thoughts, you can distract yourself by tightening your muscles or holding an ice cube in your hand or on your neck. Ideally, this would divert your attention from the thought long enough to regain your self-control.
   • You can also try to distract yourself with music. Cradle and sway to the beat of the music to center yourself and calm your body. Singing along to music can also help you regain control of your breathing and focus on something else.
   • Go for a walk. A change of scenery by taking a walk can help stop those pervasive, negative thoughts. Physical activity can also help restore your breathing and heart rate.
5. Change your posture. Facial expressions and posture have an effect on your mood. If you find yourself frowning or hunched over in a defeated posture, this can make you feel even more negative. Try to change this if possible. Stand and place your hands on your sides (akimbo pose) or try the “lion face - lemon face” acting technique where you first draw a “growling” lion-like face and then a contorted sour face.
   • Changing your posture can help you break the crying cycle long enough to regain self-control.
6. Practice progressive muscle relaxation. This technique consists of tightening and relaxing different parts of your body. Start by tightening the muscles as hard as you can for about 5 seconds while inhaling. Now quickly release the tension as you exhale and then relax your face. Now tighten your neck and relax again. Then do your chest, your hands, etc., until you have worked all your muscles down to your feet.
   • Do this relaxation technique regularly to prevent stress from building up in your body.
   • This will help you to become aware of where tension builds up in your body when you cry loudly.
7. Remind yourself of this: "This is temporary." Although it may now seem like it will never go away, try to keep reminding yourself that this moment will pass. This moment will not last forever. This helps you see the bigger picture beyond the overwhelming moment.
   • Splash some cold water on your face. The freshness can distract you for a moment to regain control over your breathing. The cool water can also help reduce some of the bloating (such as puffy eyes) that can come from crying.

Part 2 of 2: About crying and how to prevent it

1. Ask yourself if crying is a problem. Do you feel like you cry too often? While this is subjective, women cry an average of 5.3 times a month and men 1.3 times, ranging from watery eyes to sobbing crying. These averages do not necessarily take into account times when crying is more likely to occur because of some emotional event in a person's life, such as a divorce, the death of a loved one, or other impressive life events. When you feel that you are out of control of the crying spells and are affecting your personal and business life, then it should be seen as a problem that needs to be addressed.
   • During these types of particularly emotional times, you are more likely to feel overwhelmed and enter a cycle of sad or negative thoughts.
2. Think about why you are crying. If something is going on in your life that makes you experience stress or anxiety, it is more likely that you cry regularly. For example, if you are grieving the death of a loved one or simply the end of your relationship, crying is normal and understandable. But sometimes life itself can get too much for you and you find yourself crying without understanding exactly what is going on.
   • In this case, the excessive crying could be a sign of something more serious, such as depression or anxiety. Do you find yourself crying often without knowing why? if you are sad, feel worthless or irritable, begin to experience pain or difficulty eating, have trouble sleeping, or have suicidal thoughts, you may be depressed. Get medical help to find out what treatment options are available.
3. Identify any reason to cry. Start by becoming aware of the situations that cause you to cry and write them down. When do you have these crying spells? Are these certain days, situations or scenarios that spark intense crying? Are there things that trigger crying?
   • For example, if listening to certain bands makes you think about your ex, remove that band from your playlist and avoid listening to music that evokes these feelings. The same goes for photos, smells, places, etc. If you don't want to be exposed to these upset memories, it's okay to avoid them for a while.
4. Start keeping a journal. Write down your negative thoughts and ask yourself if they are rational. Also consider whether your ideals are rational and realistic. Don't forget to be nice to yourself. A good way to do this is to write down a list of achievements or things that make you happy. Think of your journal or calendar as a record of everything you are grateful for.
   • Try to write in your journal every day. If you feel like crying, read through what you wrote again and remind yourself what makes you happy.
5. Evaluate yourself. Ask yourself, "How do I deal with conflict?" Do you usually react angrily? In tears? Are you ignoring it? Chances are, if you let the conflict get bigger by ignoring it, you will end up in tears. Becoming aware of how to respond to conflict may help you discover which path to take.
   • Don't forget to ask yourself, "Who's the Boss?" Take control of your own life again so that you have the power to change outcomes. For example, instead of saying, "That teacher is awful and made me fail that test," you admit that you don't have studied enough and that this has led to your poor score Next time you better focus on studying and accepting the outcome.
6. Understand how thoughts affect your emotions and behavior. If you constantly have negative thoughts, you may harbor harmful emotions. You may even keep returning to negative, sad memories that happened in the distant past that keep you crying. This can cause harmful behavior, including persistent crying spells. Once you are aware of the effect the thoughts have on you, you can start changing your way of thinking and then creating more positive situations.
   • For example, if you keep thinking, "I'm not good enough," you can feel hopeless or insecure. Learn to stop the thought process before it affects your emotional well-being.
7. Connect with others. You can talk to a close friend or family member about what is bothering you. Call them and ask if they are available for a cup of coffee. If you feel like there is no one for you to talk to, try a helpline like Samaritans, (212-673-3000).
   • If you find yourself crying regularly and feel like you need help, an expert counselor may be of help. A counselor can develop a plan for regaining control of your thoughts and learning how to manage your thoughts properly.
8. Know what to expect from professional therapy. Ask your doctor, look in the phone book, or ask a friend to refer you to a counselor or therapist. Your counselor or therapist will ask you why you think you need therapy.You can say something like, "I notice that I often cry and I want to understand why they occur and how I can learn to control them." Or say something as simple as, "I feel sad." The counselor will ask you questions about what you are experiencing and what history has preceded it.
   • You and your therapist will begin to discuss your goals with your therapy and then create a plan for achieving those goals.

Tips

• When you feel the need to cry, ask yourself, “Should I let myself cry? Am I in a situation where it's okay to cry? ” Sometimes crying is good for you and can be very liberating, but it is not appropriate in every situation.
• To stop crying in public, try raising your eyebrows as high as you can, as if you were surprised. It's very hard for tears to come out that way. Yawning on chewing ice can also help.
• Excessive crying can dehydrate you, which can give you a headache. When you've recovered, take some sips of water from a large glass.
• To calm down, wet a washcloth with warm water and place it on your neck. Once you have calmed down, take a cold washcloth and place it over your eyes or forehead to help you fall asleep and feel better.
• It's okay to cry and express your feelings. Try to go somewhere where you can be alone for a while to calm down.
• Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger about the things that are bothering you. Talking to someone can help you see the whole thing from a different perspective.
• Talk to yourself in a calm, relaxed voice.
• Curl up next to a pet. Animals may not be able to advise you, but they also don't judge you.
• Tell yourself you'll be fine no matter the situation, and know there are people out there to help you.
• Tell someone who wants to listen to you what's bothering you.