Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Starting a conversation
• Part 2 of 3: Maintaining a conversation
• Part 3 of 3: Avoid common mistakes

Being able to start a conversation with any person is an excellent skill to have. It can lead to making new friends or discovering a romantic partner. It can even lead to a new career or create business opportunities. Humans are social creatures by nature, but conversation is not self-evident for everyone. However, it is never too late to learn how to easily talk to others!

To step

Part 1 of 3: Starting a conversation

1. Relax while engaging in a conversation. If you are nervous about the prospect of talking to others, it can be stressful to strike up a conversation. Approach a social situation striving to relax. This way you can start conversations smoothly without stumbling over your words.
   • Try to make some physical effort prior to social interactions to help you relax. Meditate or do something like progressive muscle relaxation.
   • Find a quiet place to perform a relaxation ritual before a social event. This will help you to calm down the situation. Breathe in slowly and deeply at least a few times.
2. Watch your body language. You want to make sure someone actually wants to talk before trying to start a conversation with them. It won't be easy to talk to someone if you approach people before they want to be approached. Look for signs that someone is ready to start a conversation so that you don't start a conversation with someone who appears clearly closed. Wait for the person to relax a bit.
   • Pay attention to open body language. Make sure that the person does not shield themselves by crossing their arms. People who want to talk will stand up straight with their arms at their sides.
   • Someone may also momentarily catch your eye, indicating that that person is open to a conversation. This is a good sign that it is safe to approach that person.
3. Open with a question. A question is a great way to open a conversation. It sets things in motion and shows interest in the other person. Shortly after introducing yourself, try asking a question. It is also best to ask an open-ended question that requires more than a "yes" or "no" answer.
   • If you are at a party, for example, start by saying something like, "How do you know the host"?
   • If you are at a networking event, ask someone about their work. Say something like, "What exactly does your job involve?"
4. Use your surroundings to start a conversation. You can also try working with what you have to start a conversation. If you stumble to think of a question or topic, comment on your surroundings. Look around and find something to start a conversation about.
   • For example, say something like, "This wooden floor is beautiful. It feels so classic. "
   • You can also invite the other person to share their input, which can encourage conversation. For example: "What do you think of this wallpaper? I've never seen anything like it. "

Part 2 of 3: Maintaining a conversation

1. Listen to the other person. People naturally like to talk to someone who will listen. Everyone wants to feel important and heard, so if you want people to talk to you, give them your full attention. Make sure you always listen when someone is talking to you.
   • Try to follow the rule: "Listen, then talk," after starting a conversation. Once you've started something, let the person give their full input before bringing up anything yourself.
   • Show that you are listening by maintaining eye contact and nodding now and then. You can also say things like, "Indeed ..." to express interest.
2. Ask questions. Questions are a great way to keep a conversation going. If there seems to be a silence in the conversation, avoid it by asking a few questions.
   • Consider asking what someone just said. For example: "That's interesting. What was it like going to school in a big city? "
   • You can also raise a new topic through a question. Think of something that would be appropriate to introduce in view of the situation. For example, if you are talking to someone at school, you could say something like, "What did you think about the chemistry test?
3. Share information about yourself. People won't want to talk to you if you bombard them with questions. People feel uncomfortable talking to people who ask a lot of questions about others but share little about themselves. Make sure to provide information about yourself so that people will want to talk to you.
   • Try to alternate between asking questions and sharing information. For example, you ask someone how he or she thinks the book he or she is reading. Then share about a book you recently read yourself.
   • You should also be willing to answer questions that someone asks you in return. If you seem to be withholding information, people may get nervous and won't want to talk to you.
4. Change the subject as needed. Make sure someone is not uncomfortable with a topic. It can make someone nervous if you broach a particular topic and then fall silent. It may also be that a certain topic has simply been chewed up. If both of you have trouble thinking about what to say in a conversation, find a new topic.
   • It's best to try and find a related topic. For example, if you've talked about books, move the conversation to a movie.
   • But if you can't think of anything related, it's good to introduce something new. Return to a general question, such as, "What do you do for a living" or "Where did you grow up".
5. Start talking about current events. Current events can be a great way to keep a conversation going. If you keep up to date with what's going on in the world, it's easy to talk to everyone. You can have a conversation about things people are thinking about right now.
   • You don't need to bring up controversial current events, especially in a situation where someone might feel uncomfortable. If you want to keep things uncontroversial, bring up a new movie or a celebrity scandal, or start talking about a new song you heard on the radio.

Part 3 of 3: Avoid common mistakes

1. Don't try to brag. Sometimes, without realizing it, we can start boasting during conversations. This is often due to nervousness. You can try to bring up a story that pertains to but seems bigger or more important than the other person's story. For example, someone is talking about a weekend trip a few kilometers outside the city. Then don't start talking about your long trip to Europe after graduation. This can come across as boastful.
   • Try to balance the stories you share. For example, if someone brings up a modest vacation, talk about a similar vacation you've had. For example, talk about the weekend trips you took as a child to your grandmother's house.
2. Don't make assumptions about the other person. Start the conversation on the assumption that everyone is a blank slate. Don't assume that someone will agree with you or share your norms and values. People tend to think that those they talk to have similar values ​​and beliefs, but this is often not true. Remember, you don't know what someone's thoughts are on a particular topic.
   • Discussions can be fun and, if someone seems open to the idea, it is good to share each other's beliefs. However, make sure to introduce a topic without prejudice. For example, if you are commenting on a recent election, don't say, "That was a disappointment of…?
   • Rather, bring up the topic in a way that invites the other person to share his or her beliefs. For example: "What did you think of the recent elections?"
3. Refrain from making a judgment. People don't want to talk to people who judge. During a conversation, remind yourself that you are trying to learn about another person. You are not there to judge or make assumptions. Don't analyze what's being said and instead focus on listening. This gives you less time to judge, making people feel comfortable sharing things with you.
4. Make sure you stay in the here and now. Your mind wanders very easily during a conversation. Make sure you don't. If you seem absent, people won't want to talk to you. Keep your mind in the here and now, don't just think about what you want to say and don't dream away during the conversation.
   • If you are struggling to stay in the present, do something physical to bring your senses back to the present moment. For example, move your toes for a moment.