Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Define your current self
• Part 2 of 4: Distance yourself from your old self
• Part 3 of 4: Moving on
• Part 4 of 4: Rewriting the definition of yourself

If your life has gone off track, you may have to redefine yourself before you can move in the right direction again. Find out who you are now and how that person differs from the person you want to become. Then you will work on transforming yourself and achieving your desired personal qualities and goals.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Define your current self

1. Determine what defines your current self. To take a step forward and redefine yourself, you will have to start by understanding where you are in your life right now. Look at your life objectively:
   • Ask yourself what your values, goals and dreams are. You can start by creating a list, or use a personal assessment exercise to filter this list.
   • Think about what is your priority right now in your life, and see if it matches who you want to be.
   • Avoid self-criticism and negative comments about yourself. They don't help you achieve your goals and put you down.
2. Explore your relationship with yourself. Think about how you spend time when you are alone. This often provides insight into what your true values ​​are and who you want to be.
   • To get an idea of ​​how you manage your time, make a rough schedule of how you spend your week, a list of all your activities and obligations.
   • List your hobbies, special interests, etc.
   • Check if your schedule also contains surprises. For example, do you spend very little time on a hobby or interest that is very important to you? Are you spending too much time on something you don't like to do?
3. Talk to yourself about yourself. While analyzing yourself at this point, it can be helpful to talk to yourself about yourself, but in the third person. By doing this, you can switch your mind to a more objective way of thinking, so that you can view yourself in a more accurate way.
   • Imagine that you are at a party, in a classroom or some other situation, and you are in a conversation. Each participant in the conversation represents a different part of you, or a value that you have. Play this scenario in your head. How would that conversation go? How will it show compassion and love for yourself?

Part 2 of 4: Distance yourself from your old self

1. Realize that it is never too late to reinvent yourself. No one is too old or too settled to reinvent themselves. Change is part of life and can be positive when used properly. Be ready to grow and adapt at any stage of your life.
2. Let go of the past. Ask yourself which aspects of your life are affected by past hurts, insecurities, and regrets. Once you have identified those points, do your best to let them go so that they no longer define who you are.
   • Write down the things that frustrate you or that you feel are holding you back. Expressing your feelings can help you let go of unpleasant things from the past. Such a list can help you learn the skills you need to develop to feel satisfied.
   • Realize that whatever you regret, you are better off in some areas than others. Focus on your strengths and other positive things you bring with you from the past.
3. Learn from past mistakes. In order to reinvent yourself, it is important not to dwell too much on the past. However, there are lessons you can learn from the past that can help you improve who you are at the moment.
   • Analyze a painful breakdown to determine what went wrong. Think about what you can do to prevent the same thing from happening again in your next relationship.
   • Identify the decisions that led to your or your family's financial missteps in the past. Based on that, work on a financial plan for the future that will allow you to correct those errors.
4. Choose a bad habit that you want to break. Correcting bad habits is an important part of the process of leaving your old self behind. However, it can be very difficult and even a little intimidating. Rather than trying to change yourself on all fronts at the same time, focus on breaking one bad habit at a time.
   • List all the habits that really annoy you. Bring this down to some of the essentials you want to break, and start working on the most important ones.
   • Focus on the positive feelings you got when you first tried to get rid of a bad habit. This can help you succeed.
   • Try to replace a negative habit with a positive one. For example, if you're used to eating junk food, replace it with healthy snacks, or exercise more.
5. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. As soon as negative thoughts about yourself or your life come to mind, try to replace them with positive ones. By doing this you train your mind to focus on possibilities instead of difficulties.
   • Conceptualize the things that cause you stress. Think about how you have responded to those things in the past.
   • Then actively replace negative thoughts about those stressors with positive ones.
   • For example, a failed date can make you think, "I'll never find anyone. There must be something wrong with me." Then correct yourself with something like, "This date didn't go well, but that doesn't mean the right person isn't waiting for me somewhere. I won't find that person unless I keep looking."
6. Stop worrying about other people's opinions. The opinion of yourself is in part formed by your idea of ​​how others view you. However, if you really want to redefine yourself, then you have to become the person you want to be, not the person someone else expects you to be.
   • You will also need to distance yourself from the social pressures and learn to recognize them caused by society itself. Society may have certain expectations of you based on your race, gender, economic class or religion, and these can be just as limiting.

Part 3 of 4: Moving on

1. Evaluate your priorities. Ask yourself which aspects of your life should be surrounded with the most care, regardless of whether these aspects actually receive the care they deserve.
   • Make an effort to communicate your priorities so that it matches the way you view those priorities in your head.
   • Classify your priorities according to various categories: personal, financial, educational, etc. Then arrange these categories to decide which goal you most want to achieve.
2. Ask yourself what qualities you want to develop. Your personality is constantly evolving, even when you are an adult. Decide who you want to be at heart, and identify the personal traits that that version of yourself has in abundance. These personal traits can be traits that you already possess or traits that you have never shown before. Examples are:
   • Self confidence
   • Leadership
   • Self-sustainability
   • Empathy
   • Self-awareness
3. Make a plan. Return to the list you made of your frustrations and challenges. Focus on learning how to overcome these frustrations by first determining the skill you need to excel. Then work on developing the steps to achieve these goals. If you want to become a businessman, what does it take to get you there? What skills do you need?
   • Your plan may look like something like:
     • 1. Get a good, professional wardrobe, even for days when you dress more casually.
     • 2. Develop leadership skills by taking classes and / or reading books.
     • 3. Get your MBA and possibly even a PhD.
     • 4. Work on developing communication skills, either by reading or taking classes, including conflict management and resolution.
     • 5. Learn to keep a cool head.
   • Use this plan as a starting point. Investigate the time it takes to develop these skills and expand your plan by adding more steps.
4. Spend some time each day pursuing your goals. Once you set a goal, you need to make time to fulfill it. Start pursuing your goal immediately and consistently, a little bit every day. If you manage your time well, you have a better chance of achieving your goals.
   • For example, you may have made a plan to improve your health by exercising. Instead of saying to yourself, "I'll start tomorrow" or "I'll start next week," start today. Get some exercise every day (say, 15 minutes), even if you don't feel like it. In this way, working towards your goal becomes an ingrained habit.
   • Likewise, instead of wishing you had more time to develop your creative side, you actually make time for it. Set a goal for the amount of time you want to spend each month on creative pursuits. You can also set a goal for how much creative work you want to get done in a month, regardless of how much time you spend on it.

Part 4 of 4: Rewriting the definition of yourself

1. Get out of your comfort zone. Seeking new experiences, people, and places is a great way to change yourself. By thinking and acting differently, you become more creative and step outside your comfort zone. For instance:
   • Trying dishes from a kitchen that you have never tasted before.
   • Visiting a new city or country.
   • Read a book on a topic that is unfamiliar to you.
   • Watching a TV show that you would otherwise never think about.
   • Engage in a hobby or skill you've always dreamed of.
2. Pick up an old passion. Ask yourself if there are any dreams or passions that you no longer spend time on. If there are any, renew your interest in them. You may be rediscovering a positive quality or skill worth keeping as you reinvent yourself. For instance:
   • If you ever dreamed of becoming a cook, take cooking classes, even if you no longer intend to make a career out of it.
   • If you always loved playing basketball while in school, look for an adult team you can join. You may be making new friends and the old appreciation for dedication, fitness and teamwork will emerge.
3. Meet new people and make new friends. The people in your current life are familiar with the current you, and may not be supporting you as you redefine yourself to become a new person. Tell the people you meet which person you are trying to become so they can help you stick to your ideal.
   • Make sure the new people in your life have a positive outlook. It is much easier to develop a new self when you are surrounded by positivity instead of negativity.
   • Respect your family or current friends who can support you as you try to reinvent yourself.
   • In addition, you can bring back old contacts with the help of social media, networks, events, etc. Getting in touch with your past can sometimes be the best way to move forward.
4. Take time every morning to reconnect with your goal. Once you wake up enough to think clearly, ask yourself if you are the same person today as yesterday. Think about which parts of your self-definition are transforming into something better, and which aspects require a little more work. By doing this in the morning you can improve your own health and be more attentive during the rest of the day.
5. Take it easy. Understand that redefining yourself is not easy. Don't try to change everything at once, as this could be too much for you and make you want to stop. Don't procrastinate, but don't rush.