Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Dealing with trust issues
• Method 2 of 3: Learn how to trust
• Method 3 of 3: Restore trust after betrayal
• Tips

Trust is a key element in developing a strong and lasting relationship with your boyfriend. While it is common to worry about trust in your relationship, these concerns can - if unjustified - be harmful. To avoid this, you must learn to trust your friend, how to regain trust after betrayal, and how to deal with trust issues.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Dealing with trust issues

1. Consider why you feel like you can't trust your friend. Before making a drastic decision about your relationship, it's important to ask yourself why you're having a hard time trusting your boyfriend. If you plan to talk to him about your concerns, you will need to be able to explain why you feel this way.
   • Is there anything he did that made you doubt? Do you feel like he's avoiding you? Has anyone else commented or made you feel unreliable?
   • Do you have evidence to support your concerns?
2. Don't jump to conclusions. While it may depend on why you don't trust him, it's better not to jump to conclusions that could endanger your relationship. Rather than responding to your suspicions, try to think calmly and rationally about the situation.
   • Is there another explanation for your friend's behavior or your concerns? Make sure to check the story and your facts.
   • Has this happened before in your relationship? What was the end result?
   • If you have a good friend who usually helps to think things through, ask her for input.
3. Think about your past relationships. Before assuming your boyfriend is untrustworthy, think about your past relationships. If you've been cheated or betrayed in the past, it's not uncommon to worry about whether or not your current boyfriend is trustworthy.
   • If you think these past relationship issues may be affecting your ability to trust your boyfriend, make sure he is aware of where your concerns are coming from. He will be able to empathize with your situation and you can both agree on how you will treat each other in the future.
   • If he's not willing to deal patiently with your concerns, or at least try to understand them, then he may not be worthy of your trust.
   • If you are in an emotional situation where you feel that you cannot move beyond previous trust issues, this may be a good reason to talk to a therapist or counselor to move on with your current or future relationships.
4. Talk to your friend about how you feel. While it may seem difficult, the best way to deal with a lack of confidence is to discuss your concerns. Talk to your friend about your feelings and how his behavior comes across to you, without being confrontational, accusing, or negative.
   • Psychologists often recommend that you start a conversation with "I feel" instead of "you." For example, instead of accusing your boyfriend of breaking your trust, say `` I feel hurt '' or `` I'm worried we don't have the same expectations of this relationship. '' By focusing on your feelings instead of his behavior, at least initially, the discussion will appear less confrontational. As a result, your friend will likely be more willing to participate in the conversation.
   • Think about how you would feel if someone accused you of being untrustworthy, and do your best to listen calmly and carefully to what they have to say.
5. Make sure you use the same standard for yourself. If you want to be able to trust your boyfriend, it's only fair that he should be able to trust you too. Stick to the same standard and do your best to be open, honest, and trustworthy.
   • For example, if you don't want your boyfriend to text other girls, don't text other guys yourself.
   • It's also not fair to get angry if he doesn't call you for not keeping your promises.
6. Do your best to strengthen your relationship with your boyfriend. Feeling closer to your friend will help overcome trust issues in your relationship, so take the time to meaningfully talk and engage in activities together.
   • Plan activities that include opportunities to talk and collaborate. For example, take a cooking class or work together on an art project. Participate in a sport, but make sure you are on the same team. The partnership will strengthen your relationship, make you feel closer together, and help you improve your communication skills.
7. Recognize evidence of more serious trust issues. While it's normal to worry about whether or not you can trust your boyfriend (or whether you trust him too much), sometimes trust issues can become overwhelming and make it difficult to have a meaningful and lasting relationship. If you are concerned that you may have more serious trust issues, it can help to learn to recognize some of the warning signs and ask yourself the following questions:
   • Does your distrust disrupt your relationships?
   • Do you find it difficult to make friends or be intimate with people because of a lack of trust?
   • Were your previous relationships intense, dramatic, or even violent?
   • Are you worried that everyone around you is being dishonest and deceitful even though you have no proof of that?
8. Wonder where these trust issues might come from. If you're having a hard time finding a reason why you don't trust your friend, you may wonder where else these trust issues might come from. Trust issues often arise as a result of experiences and interactions with people early in life. Following are some common reasons why you might find it difficult to trust your friend or other people in your life:
   • People who have been abused, physically or emotionally abused, or experienced rejection in their lives may find it difficult to trust other people.
   • If you have low confidence or don't feel like you deserve love and affection, you may be struggling with trust in your relationships.
   • Traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, illness, or a breach of trust in a relationship can affect your ability to trust someone.
   • Certain types of mental illness can also increase anxiety, lead to delusions or feelings of paranoia, making trusting others very challenging.
9. Talk to a mental health professional. If you are struggling with your friend's trust, or think you have more serious issues with trust issues, talk to a mental health professional. They can help you explore your concerns, as well as provide support and prescribe treatment.

Method 2 of 3: Learn how to trust

1. Remember that both people in a relationship must be able to trust each other. Trust is something that is shared between two people, and it will become much easier to trust your friend if you also act in a way that instills trust.
   • If you expect trust in a relationship, then the other person should have the same expectations of you. You must lead by example. So if you're worried about your boyfriend flirting with other women, make sure you don't flirt with other men yourself.
   • One way to develop trust in your relationship is to both be trustworthy and do what you two have promised each other. This teaches you that you can rely on each other. For example, if you agree to do something or help each other with something, do that too.
2. Make a commitment to trust someone. While it may sound too simple, making an appointment with yourself to trust your friend can help you behave accordingly. If both of you agree, it will help create expectations for the relationship.
3. Think about your friend's feelings. An important part of learning to trust your boyfriend is thinking about how he feels and being sensitive to his emotions. If you expect him to do this for you, then you should make it a priority in your relationship as well.
   • An important part of this step is listening to and respecting what your friend thinks and feels.
   • Even if you disagree with something he says, don't put his feelings or actions aside, because that is disrespectful.
4. Talk to each other directly. Building trust requires face-to-face interaction and communication. While you will of course phone, text or email each other from time to time, it is important that you also talk to each other in person.
   • This will increase the bond between you and the sense of security within the relationship.
   • It is much easier to trust someone when you can look them in the eye and have the confidence that they are telling the truth.
5. Agree not to gossip about your relationship. Gossiping about your relationship and sharing intimate details with other people can erode trust. If you both agree not to give in to this, it will be easier to trust each other in other ways as well.
   • If there is something you would rather not let others know about, make it clear so that he is aware of your expectations and wishes. Likewise, you can reassure him that when he shares something personal with you, you won't break his trust.
6. Admit mistakes and apologize. Mistakes are inevitable in a relationship, and if both you and your boyfriend can acknowledge that you made a mistake and sincerely apologize for it, then you learn to trust each other and feel more secure in the relationship.
   • Much disagreement can be more easily resolved if both parties are willing to acknowledge that they did or said something that was offensive or inappropriate.
7. Learn to forgive. Keeping going back to something that hurt or hurt your feelings will hinder your ability to trust your friend. If you've talked about it and he's sincerely apologized, then you should try to let it go.
   • Every time you start an argument about the past or hurt feelings, it makes it difficult to trust each other and communicate honestly. If your friend notices that you respond that way to every situation, he will no longer want to communicate with you honestly and openly.
8. Make time for yourself. Spending time with your boyfriend is an important way to learn to trust each other, but you should also make time for yourself, family, and friends. Not seeing your boyfriend for a while will help you trust your own instincts and may even provide new insights into your relationship.
   • If you are concerned about whether your trust is misplaced, talk to friends or family about your concerns. This can help you analyze your feelings and get a fresh perspective on whether your trust is justified or misplaced.
9. Keep working on it. Trust is not something that just happens. Instead, it requires hard work, patience, and commitment.
   • Depending on the nature of your relationship and problems you face in your life, you can expect to start having doubts about whether you can trust your boyfriend. He will likely also have similar doubts about you at some point. This is natural, but how you deal with these doubts and concerns will determine how strong your relationship is.

Method 3 of 3: Restore trust after betrayal

1. Talk to your friend about the loss of trust. Regardless of what caused your loss of trust in him or feeling betrayed, your relationship cannot grow unless you and your boyfriend talk about what happened that caused mistrust and about each other's feelings.
   • Make sure you have this conversation privately. Open and honest communication is difficult over the phone, email, or text messages because you cannot look someone in the eye and gauge their behavior and expressions.
   • Try to be as honest as possible when discussing these difficult topics. While it may be less painful at first to avoid reliving or analyzing a painful event, chances are that unpleasant questions about what happened will surface again if you don't try to answer them.
   • Explain to your friend as calmly as you can what caused him to lose your trust. Don't accuse it, but explain to him that this is something you feel or think. Begin the conversation with phrases such as "I'm concerned about ...," or "I'm concerned that ..." The situation may not be what you think, and you don't want to damage your relationship. Even if he's broken your trust, blaming your friend will likely make him defensive and angry, making the conversation even more unpleasant.
   • If you feel that this conversation is too difficult without help, make an appointment with a counselor or therapist who can guide the conversation.
2. Look for opportunities in this difficult situation. While no one wants to experience a breach of trust or betrayal, there may be opportunities that arise from this situation. See this as an opportunity to strengthen, strengthen, or rebuild your relationship and address underlying issues.
   • Viewing the situation in this way may help you deal with the betrayal and learn to trust your friend again.
3. Establish new guidelines for your relationship. If you've lost trust in your boyfriend due to betrayal, then you need to establish or negotiate new guidelines for your relationship because things have changed and you don't want the same mistakes to repeat. Setting new conditions will ensure that both of you are of the same mind and have the same expectations.
   • Think of possible stressors that have contributed to feelings of betrayal or mistrust. For example, if you are not confident in your partner regarding finances, agree on how you will both spend money in the future. Develop and stick to specific guidelines.
   • If you never set guidelines or rules in your relationship, now is a great time to start and make sure you have the same expectations and agreements about what is appropriate behavior and what is not.
4. Be sensitive and empathetic. Regardless of who has experienced a loss of trust in the relationship, both of you should be sensitive and empathetic to each other's feelings and concerns. This will help get your relationship back on track and improve communication between you.
   • No one wants to keep talking to someone who is insensitive to the other person's emotions and doesn't want to try to understand how the partner is feeling.
5. Learn to trust your instincts and intuition. To rebuild trust in your relationship, you have to learn to trust your own intuition, which can be difficult after cheating. The more you can rely on your own ability to tell if someone is honest and open, the more confidence you will be able to have in your friend.
   • To become more aware of what your intuition is telling you, experts suggest paying attention to what your body is telling you. Do you feel a stinging sensation on your skin or a sense of physical discomfort? If so, your instincts may be telling you to be on the lookout.
   • Research also suggests that you should pay attention to your initial response to a situation.This does not mean that you should immediately get your conclusions ready without any evidence, but that you should consider what your inner voice is telling you before pushing it aside.
6. Don't let fear in your relationship control you. The fear of betrayal can seriously hinder your ability to trust your boyfriend (and move on with your relationship). Don't let your fears take over and keep you from being happy.
   • Think critically about where your fears seem to come from. Are they rooted in truth or a lack of trust in the relationship?
   • Talk to your friend about what you can both do to keep this fear from gaining ground. Is there an easy way to reassure yourself or for your friend to reassure you that these fears are unfounded?
   • The more confident you have in your instincts, the better you will be able to deal with your fears.
7. Seek help. Restoring trust in a relationship is challenging, and you shouldn't feel shy or embarrassed asking for outside help. A relationship counselor, marriage counselor, or other counselor can help you and your friend rebuild trust after cheating so the two of you can move forward together.
   • They are trained in dealing with these situations, and someone who can mediate can help you and your boyfriend rebuild trust in your relationship.

Tips

• If your friend is repeatedly breaking your trust, he may not be worthy of your trust.
• If you expect your boyfriend to be trustworthy, you should also hold yourself to the same standard.
• If you are having a hard time trusting or communicating with your friend about trust issues, make an appointment with a counselor or therapist. It can help you explore your concern and make it easier to build trust in the relationship.