Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Keep yourself from saying what you think
• Method 2 of 3: Recognize when to be quiet
• Method 3 of 3: Know when to talk
• Tips

Sometimes it's helpful to keep your mouth shut to keep you out of trouble. Whether you're in the office, talking to friends, or at school, learning when to be quiet is a valuable skill. You give others the opportunity to contribute to the conversation. You avoid hurting people because you become a better listener. Most of all, people will be more likely to listen if you choose to speak.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Keep yourself from saying what you think

1. Imagine expressing your initial thoughts but not actually doing so. When you're just starting to shut up, it can be hard not to respond when you want to. To help you get over this, think about what you wanted to say and imagine how the conversation would have gone. And then you don't say what you intended to say.
   • This is a very effective technique if you get emotional or angry and the first tendency is to react.
2. Write down your thoughts instead of speaking. If you're still having a hard time keeping your mouth shut, try writing your thoughts in a journal. Sometimes writing down your thoughts is enough to get rid of the feeling that you need to talk. Then you can discard what you have written or use the note to articulate what you intend to say.
   • For example, your note says "Why did you plan that party without asking me ?! You don't think sometimes. "Then you throw the note away without saying it or you respond with," I wish you hadn't planned the party without talking to me first. "
3. Practice active listening. Pay attention not only to what the other person says, but also to how he says it. Look for nonverbal cues, such as his facial expression or what he's doing with his hands. You'll get a better idea of ​​what he's trying to convey and he'll be more comfortable talking when he knows you won't interrupt him.
   • For example, if you ask someone to babysit your kids and she says, "I don't know if that's possible," don't interrupt. If she also frowns and fiddles with her hands, you can tell she's uncomfortable with the idea and you shouldn't push any further.
4. Try meditation exercises to calm your mind. It takes some effort to keep your mouth shut, especially if you keep thinking about the things you'd like to say. Train your mind to become more peaceful. You can try:
   • Meditate
   • Yoga
   • Read
   • Walking or jogging
   • Paint

Method 2 of 3: Recognize when to be quiet

1. Instead of complaining or whining, stay quiet. If you usually speak up about anything and everyone that annoys you, other people will start to see you as a whiner.You may lose some respect and other people will be less likely to listen to you.
   • This is especially true if you mainly complain about things you can't change, such as the weather.
2. Shut up if someone is rude or thoughtless. Everyone has bad days when they are in a bad mood or just have a lot of challenges. Instead of getting angry or calling someone out, let them tell them what to say and try to be nice.
   • The other person may later feel bad about their behavior and appreciate that you haven't drawn attention to their bad behavior.
3. Leave gossiping to other people. Whether you're standing at the tap or in the hallway between classes, resist the urge to talk about others behind their backs. People will be less likely to trust you if they know that you gossip often and that you can say something hurtful or get into trouble. Better to stop gossiping altogether.
   • Remind yourself why gossip is harmful. The information you share may be incorrect or may, for example, make someone angry.
4. Stop yourself if you are angry and are going to say something harmful. It's easy to lash out when you're angry about something, but you're more likely to create conflict when you respond out of anger. It is much better not to say anything than to say something that you will regret.
   • It's also a good idea to shut up if something you say would only make someone else really angry.

   Tip: If you tend to talk more and say hurtful things when you drink, try to stop drinking or only drink when you're around people you really trust.

   
   
5. Postpone talking when negotiating a deal or making a plan. Keep sensitive information to yourself, especially when it comes to the decisions of others. For example, don't discuss details about a new rental, an offer you've had, or a group project you're working on. Others may not like you telling people what's happening, especially if plans aren't final yet. You may also feel stupid when things don't turn out the way you said they would.
   • For example, instead of saying "I'm going to get the lead role in the play because I don't think anyone else has any experience," keep your mouth shut until you know how the roles are divided.
6. Instead of boasting about yourself, stay still. Nobody likes to listen to someone talk about their own performance, so don't always make yourself the topic of the conversation. People will appreciate your actions more if someone else brings them up and praises you for them.
   • For example, don't say, "I was the one who made the important deal, so you all have to thank me." If you don't say anything, someone else can name your share of the success and if it comes from someone else it will sound better.
7. Shut up if you don't know the answer to something. If you're in the habit of talking too much, you probably also answer questions to which you don't know the answer at all. Make an effort to stop this. Most people know that you have no idea what you're talking about and you're wasting everyone else's time if you can't move the conversation forward.
   • If you think you should answer, you can say, "I don't know much about this. Does anyone else have any ideas? "
8. Appreciate silence instead of filling it up with talk. If no one says anything and people look uncomfortable, just wait for someone else to talk. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but you will be able to shut up when you practice. Someone else may be thinking about what to say or gathering courage to join the conversation.

   Tip: If you're having a hard time keeping your mouth shut, count in your head silently. For example, you can give yourself three minutes before saying something.

   
   
9. Avoid sharing too much with strangers. If you talk to strangers often, it can be difficult to know when you're talking too much. Pay attention to how much personal information you share with people you don't really know. You can still be kind without telling them everything about your life.
   • You should also look at the other person's reaction. For example, if you talk too much, he may look away, seem bored, or try to walk away.
   • This also applies to acquaintances you do not know very well. People can be put off or overwhelmed if you give them too much information about yourself.

Method 3 of 3: Know when to talk

1. Give yourself time to think before you talk. Instead of chatting and saying everything that comes to mind, try to say everything with a purpose. In your head you determine what you are going to say and how you are going to say it.
   • Your confidence will seem greater, especially if you don't falter too much and say "uh".
2. Ask questions instead of chatting. If you talk too much, you probably don't ask questions or give people enough time to answer. You will have a more fulfilling conversation if everyone participates and responds to each other. Ask a meaningful question and then wait for the other person to actually respond. Don't interrupt or answer for him.
   • Asking questions is especially important in meetings, negotiations, or in class.
3. Talk if you can add value to the conversation. Really listen to others and ask yourself if you contribute to the conversation. If someone else has already said what you were going to say, there is no need to repeat it. Wait to talk until you can say something useful or enlightening.
   • The more you practice this, the more people will appreciate what you have to say.

Tips

• Keeping your mouth shut also applies to comments online. Use these steps to recognize when to reply to comments and when to simply ignore them.