Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Defining boundaries and curbing behavior
• Part 2 of 3: Having a conversation with your child
• Part 3 of 3: Creating a more positive dynamic
• Tips

Masturbation is very normal for children. Masturbation is usually considered a natural and harmless way for a child to learn about his or her still dormant sexuality, but excessive and / or inappropriate masturbation can cause significant problems, especially in public. Children of all ages masturbate and when they are under 5 years old they don't understand why they should do this in private. Stay calm and don't jump to conclusions about your child's mental health. Rather than punishing the child or opting for clinical treatment when masturbating frequently in public, try lovingly explaining boundaries, having open conversations, and encouraging appropriate behavior.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Defining boundaries and curbing behavior

1. Give your child a little privacy at home. Everyone needs some time on their own, including children, and masturbation is generally appropriate during this private time.However, the behavior must be corrected when the child decides to masturbate with you or in front of other people. By offering more privacy, it is possible that this inappropriate behavior will diminish on its own.
   • Ignore it around bedtime. If you catch your child masturbating at bedtime or in the bathroom, don't punish and just let your child go.
   • Know that masturbation does not necessarily mean that your child will soon become sexually active with someone else. It is only a way to discover your own body.
   • Until the inappropriate behavior has been dealt with in front of others, allow your child sufficient privacy at home and keep an eye out when other children are around.
2. Distract your child. In public, you may not want to directly address the behavior, as this would draw even more attention. However, you can divert your child's attention to something else. If they are very young, a game can be the solution. If they are a bit older you can ask them a question or ask them if they want to do something for you.
   • For example, you could say, "Can I have a napkin?" Or "Can you get the gum out of my purse?"
3. Provide a distraction object in public. A blanket or teddy bear can be an ideal way to keep young children occupied and to move their hands away from the genitals. It can also help calm children when they are afraid or when there is developmental delay.
4. Send them to their room. If you are close to home, you can send the child to their room so they are alone and have some privacy. You may be with a neighbor and the child is old enough to walk home on his own. In this case, send him or her home and talk about it afterwards.
   • If they are still too young you can just go home and talk about it immediately.
5. Let the teachers keep you informed. Your child can masturbate in public when you are there or when you are away, such as when they are in school. If your child is masturbating at school, you need to provide solutions so that they can get rid of the need and wait until they get home. Talk to the teacher to find out how they are performing in school and if there are reasons to be concerned.
   • Don't ask directly about masturbating because you don't want to embarrass your child or alarm the teacher.
   • You could say something like, "I just want to check on how Henry is doing at school lately. Can you tell me about his latest grades and if there is something about his behavior that I should know about? "
   • If the teacher tells you that he is masturbating in class, thank him and say that you will work on it with your child. Also ask to call you when it happens again.
6. Speak to your child's caregivers. If there are additional caregivers, such as pre- and after-school people, babysitters, nannies or any other kind of support, talk to them about the situation. Ask them to update you on what your child is doing and let them know that you want them to handle inappropriate situations.
   • Consistency is important, so all caregivers should be on the same page when it comes to masturbating your child.
7. Build confidence. Masturbation is common in children looking for comfort or pleasure. To help curb that behavior, try offering your child a variety of activities to do when there is a need for fun. Plus, you can help build their confidence so they can comfort themselves in other ways.
   • Let your child try out a number of different hobbies and activities. Finding some that they really enjoy can create an activity and boost their confidence.
   • Let your child know that he or she is appreciated and accepted at home. Create a warm, supportive environment to boost your child's confidence.

Part 2 of 3: Having a conversation with your child

1. Control yourself. Don't confront them in a harsh way or in a way that will block them and make them feel ashamed. If they are very young, it is likely that they are not fully aware of what they are doing or what sexual implications their behavior has, so being understanding and kind is very important to the way they will view their sexuality later on. This will also make it easier for them to talk to you about sex in the future instead of turning to others or keeping secrets.
   • Don't try to embarrass or make them feel guilty for masturbating; simply explain that it is a problem if they do it in public.
2. Choose your timing well. You want to address it immediately when it happens, but you shouldn't start a serious discussion about it in public. Simply tell your child to "stop" or distract him or her. Once at home, start a conversation about what they've done and why it's inappropriate.
   • Say something like, "John, your body is yours and you can touch it if you want, but you shouldn't touch some parts unless you are alone in your room. Don't do that anymore when we're out of the house. Did you understand me?'
   • Do not bring up the topic in front of others. You don't want your child to be embarrassed in public.
3. Explain to them why there is nothing wrong with discovering their genitals. It is not the business they do that is the problem, but the place. Tell them it is inappropriate to bare or touch their genitals in public or in front of other people.
   • Compare it with other things that have to be done in private, such as taking a shower or going to the toilet.
4. Offer them options. Rather than focusing on what they shouldn't do, you can turn the conversation to what they're "allowed" to do. Explain that they are allowed to masturbate when alone, such as in their room or bathroom.
5. Be understanding and adapt to age as best you can. In older children, this can lead to more questions about sex and sexuality, so be open and answer them honestly about these matters and about family values ​​around them. With younger children, you can talk more about their genitals and how they function.
   • Don't go into it more deeply with younger children than they are ready for; be honest, but keep it simple. For example, you can say, "This touching is okay, but you shouldn't do it in class or at home when other people are around. Would you like to take a break and go to your room to do this? "
   • Think about who is the best person to talk to your child. Some children respond better to the parent of the same sex or are more likely to open up to the parent with whom they bond best.
6. Watch for signs of abuse. If you see your child masturbate constantly, to the point where they injure themselves, if they are trying to get other children to masturbate, or if you suspect that someone has taught them how to masturbate, then you should contact a pediatrician or psychologist . It is possible that sexual abuse has occurred and this could be the source of the problem.
   • Be aware that repeated bladder or urinary tract infections can also be a sign of excessive masturbation and / or ongoing sexual abuse.
7. Take away privileges if they don't want to obey the rules. After you clarify when it is inappropriate to masturbate and when it is not, you need to take away certain privileges if your child decides to push these boundaries. Doing this will send a clear signal that masturbating in public is not normal and considered bad behavior.
   • Consider taking away phone or television privileges.
   • Say something like, "Amy, you know we talked about masturbation. It's okay if you do this in your room, but it's not allowed in school. Because you did this today, you have to give me your phone because you will be punished for a few days. "

Part 3 of 3: Creating a more positive dynamic

1. Give your child more affection. Some children masturbate because of a need for physical contact, a need that is not always sexual. Cuddle your child more often, sit next to him or her on the sofa to watch TV, and generally just be a little bit more physically affectionate. However, if they start feeling themselves around you, tell them to go to their room or the bathroom.
2. Don't enter their room without knocking. While setting boundaries for your child, you should also set boundaries for yourself in terms of their privacy. Once you've explained the appropriate places to masturbate, make sure you don't enter these places without knocking first.
3. Be positive and supportive. This process is no doubt new to both you and your child. Be steadfast, but also sweet and supportive. Remind your child that masturbation is okay in a private setting and they can always come to you with questions or if they need a conversation.
4. Teach your child skills to handle business. Some children may turn to self-satisfying behaviors as a way to ease tension. Teach your children how to communicate their feelings using emotional terms such as "sad" or "angry" and make it clear to them that there is nothing wrong with hurt feelings as long as they can put them into words.
   • Try to handle matters appropriately, especially when your child is around, to help him or her understand how to deal with emotionally stressful situations.

Tips

• Don't be too strict or angry or harsh about this. This will only terrify the child and probably make the problem worse.
• As noted above, masturbation even occurs in embryos. In this case, the child is obviously not making a conscious choice to masturbate. It just happens.
• Always remind your child that you are there for him or her.
• Be loving, but firm to solve this problem.