Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Respect the other's need for space
• Method 2 of 3: Focus on yourself
• Method 3 of 3: Repair the relationship
• Tips
• Warnings

Being asked to give someone space can be a painful experience, and you can be concerned about losing the other person. While it is normal to be upset, it is important that you respect their wishes if you want your relationship to survive. Step back in the relationship so that the other person has the space that is being asked, but do state that you are doing this to help your relationship. While giving the other person some space, focus on yourself to make the situation easier on yourself. Then try to repair your relationship.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Respect the other's need for space

1. If possible, ask the person how much space they will need. Try to schedule a specific time period that you two are apart - or at least schedule a day each week or month that you contact. In addition, ask what the other person expects from you, such as limiting communication or avoiding each other in public. This gives you the opportunity to meet the requirements and prevents miscommunication that could damage the relationship.
   • You could say, "I really want to give you the space you need. Can you tell me what that looks like for you so I know what you expect from me? "
   • Maybe the other person wants you to stop all contact for a few days. This may include texting, social media and face-to-face conversations. The other person may be okay with texting you now and then, as long as you give them time to be alone.
2. Tell the person that you give them space because you care about them. One of the pitfalls of giving someone space is that he or she may start to think you don't care about him or her. This puts you in an awkward position as they will also be unhappy if you reach out. To make sure both of you have the same ideas about it, explain that you are stepping back, but only until the other is ready to get closer again.
   • Say something like, "You are really important to me, and I see you need some space now. I'm going to give you the space you need, and I hope this will strengthen our relationship in the long run. "
3. Stop calling and texting while giving them space. In most cases, you should give them a few days or possibly weeks, depending on what happened. Don't call or text more often than you agreed. Doing so will appear to be disrespecting the other person's wishes and can make them even more upset.
   • If you can, ask what the person prefers. Say something like, "Do you want me to stop texting and calling until you reach out to me?"
   • Giving someone space doesn't just mean you don't have to spend time with them. When you text the person, you don't give the other person any space.

   Tip: How long you should avoid texting or calling depends on what happened and how much space the person needs.

   
   
4. Stay away from their social media accounts. You probably want to know what the person is doing, and that's understandable. However, it is harmful to both of you if you stalk the person's social media page. Not only does it make you more nervous, it can also make the other person feel like you're hanging on. Play it safe and stay away from the other person's accounts.
   • Make sure you don't leave likes or comment on something the other person posts. In addition, do not ask mutual friends what the person is doing.

   Tip: Don't post social media posts targeting the person. If they see the post, it will likely upset them and make them feel like you're trying to contact them on social media.

   
   
5. Avoid places you know the person visits often so you don't run into them. You may not be able to avoid the other person completely, especially if you live together or go to the same school. However, do your best to stay away from places the person could be, such as their workplace or their favorite restaurant. This can prevent awkward encounters that can make the other person feel uncomfortable.
   • For example, let's say you know the person enjoys getting coffee from the same coffee shop every day. If you show up there, the other person can assume that you did this on purpose.
6. Do not ask the other person what they are doing and do not check their actions. When someone asks for space, that person needs time to explore their own independence and decide how to proceed with the relationship. If you want to know everything the other is doing, then you are not giving that person the independence he or she needs. Let the other person do what feels right for them, without informing you about the details.
   • You may be tempted to ask, "Who are you going to?" However, these types of questions make the other person feel that you are disrespecting their need for space.
   • Don't try to set rules such as who can see the other person and what they can do during the separation period.

Method 2 of 3: Focus on yourself

1. Let your emotions feel, but don't react to them. Spending time without someone you care about is really hard. You may feel sad, angry, frustrated, or worried. Accept how you feel and express your emotions in a healthy way, such as through a journal or by being creative. However, don't let your feelings guide you, as that will probably only make things worse.
   • For example, you could say to yourself, "Right now I feel really sad because Alex is my best friend and I might lose her." This can help let the emotion pass.
   • On the other hand, it's not a good idea to call that friend and cry about how upset you are.
2. Distract yourself with fun activities and hookups with friends. Rather than worrying about what the other person is doing, use this time to do activities that are important to you. Spend time with your friends, pursue your favorite hobbies, or explore a new interest. Fill in your free time with fun things that keep you busy.
   • For example, go to a movie on Monday, host a game night on Tuesday, paint on Wednesday, practice card tricks on Thursday, and go to a high school football game on Friday.

   Tip: Staying busy reduces the risk of you collapsing and calling the other person. By having fun without the other person, you give him or her the space he or she says they need.

   
   
3. Keep your mind busy so you don't think about the person. You are probably really concerned about the loss of this person, but thinking about that won't help. It will only make you feel more miserable and cause you to get in touch too soon. Do something to occupy your mind, such as reading, playing a game, or watching a documentary. This will help you think about something else.
   • Let's say you think about your partner during lunch break. Try reading a book to occupy your mind.
4. Talk to someone you trust if you need to discuss your feelings. You're probably feeling very upset at this point, and venting your heart out may make you feel better. Discuss the situation with someone you can trust. Let him or her know if you just want to talk or if you want advice.
   • You could say, "I have to go through something now and just want to air my hair. My boyfriend needs space and I'm afraid we will break up. I miss him so much.'

   Variation: If you don't want to tell someone how you feel, try writing about your feelings in a journal.

5. Take care of yourself for the best quality of life. Taking good care of yourself will make you feel better and show the other that you are capable of being independent. Make sure you eat healthy meals, exercise and bathe every day. Plus, do fun things for yourself, like make your favorite coffee, take a hot bath, and take a short walk.
   • Make a schedule so that it is easier to keep up with your self-care while sitting out this situation.

Method 3 of 3: Repair the relationship

1. Ask yourself what is the reason the other person needs more space in the first place. Think about the situation before the other person asked for space and what they said when they told you about their own wants and needs. Then ask yourself what you could have done differently and how you can do things better in the future.
   • For example, you may have had a fight or you may find the other to be affectionate.
   • When the person is done, talk to him or her about why the need for space. Ask something like, "What did I do that made you want your distance?"
2. Apologize for the mistakes you made. It's likely that both of you have done things that were painful, but you can only control what you do. State that you understand what happened and that you are sorry. Then explain that you will try to prevent this pattern from repeating in the future.
   • You could say in a particular situation, "I understand that I did not respect your need to spend time with your friends. I'm really sorry you felt like I was trying to limit you. In the future, I will make sure you have time for other people. "
   • In another case, you could say, "I'm really sorry I spoke to your ex at the party. I understand that this has hurt you and will take that into account more in the future. "
3. Plan a fun activity for when you meet again. Things may feel uncomfortable at first, and you may be tempted to talk about your feelings. But the best way to get your relationship back on track is to have a good time together. Choose something that you both enjoy doing, and then invite the other person to join.
   • Try to find something that doesn't involve a lot of intrusive conversation. For example, go bowling, play mini golf, go rock climbing or attend a concert.
   • Choose something you both enjoy to remind you why you enjoy each other's company.
4. Make sure each of you has time to be independent. A healthy relationship allows both people to grow, pursue their own interests, and enjoy interacting with other people. Talk to the person so you can decide what each of you needs to feel satisfied in the relationship. Then change the old patterns so that both of you are able to remain independent and happy.
   • In a romantic relationship, this may mean that you both need a few evenings a week to pursue personal hobbies or spend time with friends.
   • In a friendship, it can mean that you respect the fact that everyone has different friends and that you don't hang out with each other's exes.
   • If it is a family relationship, such as with siblings, it could mean respecting each other's personal space, each having time to themselves every day, and asking before using each other's things.
5. Communicate with each other daily via text message, telephone, or in person. A relationship cannot survive without communication, so look for ways to bond. Send meme's, ask how the other person's day is going, or set aside time each night to talk. Discuss what you both want to help decide what good communication in your relationship will look like.
   • For example, you could talk a lot if you live together, but you may prefer to text several times a day if you spend a lot of time without each other.
   • If the other person wants to communicate less often, respect that wish.

Tips

• Giving space to each other can make your relationship stronger, so try not to worry.

Warnings

• It is possible that the other person will eventually realize that he or she does not want to save your relationship. While that can really upset you, it will be better in the long run.