Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Take control of your life
• Method 2 of 3: Cope with social occasions
• Method 3 of 3: Starting your love life
• Tips
• Warnings

Nobody wants to be a loser. You don't have to, if you want to put in some time and effort. Whoever or whatever you are - you can change your life. Draw a line under the past and decide that you are going to do something now, right now, to improve your life. Don't let anyone tell you you're a failure: this says more about them than it does about you. From now on, work on being the best version of yourself. Start at step 1 and become a winner instead of a loser.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Take control of your life

1. Appreciate yourself. This is really the most important thing you can do to improve yourself. When you truly value and respect yourself, you radiate it to other people. Self-confidence is a very charismatic quality. It is then no longer necessary to go out of your way to seem interesting, because someone with confidence is never mistaken for a loser. To gain confidence, start thinking about everything you value about yourself. What are you good at, how do you enjoy yourself the most, what are your talents and possibilities? You have your own unique skills and talents. When you are aware of this, it becomes easier and easier to love yourself. At the same time, it is also becoming easier to ignore negatives and bullies.
   • Do the following exercise when you feel bad and it seems difficult to find something good about yourself: take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line straight down the center. Above the left side you write "-" and above the right side you write "+". Write your minus points and your plus points in the correct column. Try to find two plus points for each minus point you write down. Stop when your plus column is full and read everything slowly. The intention is that you are left with many more plus points than minus points.
2. Spend time on your hobbies. It's easier to love yourself when you set aside time for fun things. Your confidence and self-esteem grow through the pleasure and satisfaction you get from following your passions. Make it a habit to set aside time every day or every week to make time for this. Better still, look for people who share the same interests, because "shared joy is double joy." Plus, you can then remind each other to do it more often.
   • This advice applies in particular to people who have an unpleasant work or school situation. Finding a new job or a new group of friends can be problematic. However, it is quite simple to set aside half an hour every day to draw something, learn to play an instrument, or just listen to your favorite music.
   • Preferably look for activities in which you can improve yourself. Netflix can certainly be fun, but it isn't much of a challenge. And a challenge gives a lot of satisfaction, because you improve your own skills in that way.
3. Stay physically active. It has long been proven that your emotional well-being is greatly affected by how well or badly you take care of your body. When you move, endorphins are released; a chemical in your brain that is also called the "happiness hormone". So exercise or dance regularly to feel good, healthy, attractive and confident. By the way, exercise is also the best medicine to treat depression and to feel better in every way.
   • To be happy, you don't have to have the body of a model or a bodybuilder. The general guidelines for healthy exercise are one and a half to two and a half hours of intensive exercise per week, supplemented with a few hours of weekly strength training and moderate exercise for at least half an hour a day.
4. Do your best at school or at work. It's easier to feel good about yourself when you excel at work or school. Work or school is not always fun, but it is just part of it. Do the best you can. This makes you feel better and furthermore you develop yourself. This leads to better grades, a promotion or perhaps a better job. So make sure you have a good work mentality, but guard your boundaries and be careful not to overwork yourself.
   • Don't be ashamed if you are unemployed. Make it your job to find other work. When you work on your confidence and self-esteem, you will definitely find something that suits you.
   • Stay away from bad friends. When people encourage you to neglect work or school for pleasure, they are not good friends. Of course it's always a good idea to do something fun with friends, but it shouldn't hurt your work. People who don't take any responsibility for their lives and instead just party, drink and smoke: those are real losers!
5. Be a socially responsible person. Humans are social beings. We were made to spend time together. It is often the first sign of depression when people withdraw from social life. That's why it's always a good idea to get in touch with friends or family you've been neglecting. When you're feeling a little down, this is a great way to get your thoughts and feelings back on track.
   • Try not to just talk about negative things when you are with friends. Good friends are always open to a serious conversation, of course, but for them it is very tiring when you keep on saddling them with your problems. Rather discuss your concerns with family members or with professionals such as a therapist or coach.
6. Plan your future. When you plan your future well, it is easier to feel good. You don't have to worry about what could possibly go wrong tomorrow. For example, make sure you always have a pot for unforeseen circumstances and learn the art of saving money. If you are still at school, it is good to think about what you want to do next. Are you looking for a job right away or do you want to continue studying?
   • Start looking for suitable schools and jobs. It's never too early to start making plans. You can always adjust your plans later.
7. Surround yourself with the right people. The people you spend your time with have a big influence on you. They influence your priorities, introduce you to other people and motivate and inspire you. When these people have no goal themselves, it affects you negatively. You no longer have a good idea of ​​what is actually important in life. Limit the time you spend with these people because of the negative impact they have on you. When you know better what you want, you will automatically find people who suit you better. Watch for these negative signs in people you interact with:
   • Negative self image. For example, they say: "I always do everything wrong!"
   • They have a low opinion of you. You say something like, "Oh, it's just you."
   • A lack of hobbies and interest.
   • Only interest in useless activities such as smoking cannabis, Netflixing and hanging out.
   • A passive lifestyle. Lots of hanging out and doing nothing.
   • No personal goals.
8. Don't listen to haters. Don't take any notice of what others criticize you. Don't accept when people say something that makes you feel bad. Let them know honestly how it makes you feel and tell them to stop. "Stop that. You are a little bag, is usually enough to silence them. Stop associating with them if they don't correct their behavior. You are under no obligation to spend time with people you don't like. There are, of course, exceptions such as work and certain social obligations such as weddings and funerals.
   • Sometimes it is good to listen to criticism. It can be annoying but helpful when someone you respect criticizes you. Listen to it and think about what to do with this criticism. Maybe it's about a downside to yourself that you weren't aware of.

Method 2 of 3: Cope with social occasions

1. Have faith in what you can do. People who are shy and clumsy at social gatherings can get better at this by improving their self-esteem and confidence. Believe that social events are not scary and trust that you have everything you need to handle it. It will then be a lot easier to talk to people you don't know and to have a good time at the same time. Search the internet for articles to boost your confidence, such as this wikiHow article about being confident. The best known tips are:
   • Take a few minutes to imagine having a great time at a social event that you want to go to. Imagine what you do and what you say. Consider this experience as instruction for the meeting.
   • See a social blunder as a learning opportunity.
   • Listen to stimulating music in advance to recharge yourself positively.
   • Don't worry about what can go wrong, just go. This is the best method to overcome your fears.
   • Ask yourself what is the worst that could happen. This is not so bad at most social occasions.
2. Be positive. When you can make yourself happy, you don't have to rely so heavily on others.This also applies to parties and family gatherings, which you don't really feel like. Don't focus on what can go wrong, but focus on what can go right. Think about what nice people you can meet and what inspiring conversations you can have. At a party, the opportunity to have fun is really much greater than embarrassing yourself.
3. Ask others to tell about themselves. If you don't know what to say, just ask others questions. This shows people that you are opening up to them and that you are a social personality. The conversation then flows effortlessly. Listen to what the other person is saying and show that you are listening with interest by occasionally nodding in agreement or saying something short of "indeed" or "hmm".
   • Don't ask questions that are too personal before you get to know someone better. When talking to a stranger, you can stay a bit superficial by asking where someone is from or which movies they like. Questions like "How was your childhood?" And "Are your parents still alive?" Go too far if you don't know someone's background.
4. Be honest about what you like and don't like. It's really not a good idea to lie hoping to fit in. Just always stay polite and friendly. You really don't have to agree with everything. On the contrary, it shows self-confidence, if you dare to say honestly that you think differently. It is also a sign of respect if you are honest with someone. People then see that you are a real person with an opinion of your own and not a slime ball, who wants to appeal to everyone.
   • A discussion with different opinions can be very interesting and enlightening. Just be careful to keep it a little light. That means: no personal attacks and civilized language. In such a discussion, remember that the point is not to be right. It's about exchanging thoughts in a respectful way.
5. Be careful who you share what things with. Don't be too quick to tell confidential things. You really need to know someone better to know if you can bring up a difficult topic. You can't talk to everyone about depression, jealous tendencies, or money problems. Conversation topics that are too serious can upset your conversation partner, causing your conversation to bog down. You discuss serious topics with family, friends and professionals. You prefer to avoid the following topics of conversation with strangers or vague acquaintances:
   • emotional problems
   • relationship problems
   • recent deaths
   • serious subjects such as death, torture, abuse, etc.
   • sensitive topics such as ethnicity, migration, religion, etc.
6. Remember that you are talking to a fellow human being. The others are only human too, just like you. Think about this when you are concerned about an upcoming meeting. Your conversation partner is a person with hopes, fears and dreams, good and bad qualities, just like you. You are not perfect, but neither are they. If a conversation isn't going well, it could be just as much their fault as it is you.
   • No matter how important, beautiful or intelligent someone may appear: everyone has to go to the toilet and is exposed in the shower. If someone is embarrassing you, picture them in the bathroom with their pants on their ankles. Nobody is too good for that.
7. Relax! This can be the hardest part in a stressful situation. Yet it is the wisest choice you can make. When you are relaxed it is much easier to approach people and socialize. Make sure to develop techniques for self-relaxation and apply them on social occasions.
   • Of course everyone is different, but there are a few techniques that will help just about everyone. For example, many people benefit from meditation. Others relax best by moving or listening to calming music or sounds of nature.
   • Read here how to relax.

Method 3 of 3: Starting your love life

1. Actively look for a partner. No one has ever found the right one by sitting quietly in their room. Spread your wings to find a love partner. This means going out and doing things in places where you have the chance to meet someone. You don't have to do this alone. See if you can get friends or girlfriends along - this way you'll always have a good time, even if you don't run into a potential partner.
   • There are countless activities where you meet people. Bars, parties and festivals are obvious, but there are many more options. For example, organize a party yourself and ask your friends to bring their friends. This is a great way to meet new people. Be creative about this. All activities where you can meet new people are suitable.
   • Getting out and about is really the only way to meet new people. If you don't meet a potential partner in the places you normally go, you have to look for other places and develop new activities.
2. Approach others without hesitation. Act decisively and spontaneously when asking someone for a date. It's normal to be nervous and shy about approaching someone you like. Still, you have the best chance of success to strike quickly and directly. When you see someone you find attractive and interesting, go right there and have a chat. This makes you appear confident, which is a very attractive trait.
   • Don't waste time worrying about making the perfect move. No, you will not always be successful if you address someone in this way, but if you do nothing, you will never be successful at all. Remember that you also learn something from every interaction, so that you keep getting better.
3. Be open when you want to see someone again. Don't let someone escape when you feel butterflies! Let them know that you want to meet him or her again. The worst that can happen is for someone to say "no thank you". But if you pass up the opportunity, you may regret it forever.
   • You don't have to ask for a romantic date right away. For example, ask him or her to go bowling or to a festival with a group of friends. This puts little pressure on you and on the other. If someone is interested, he or she will accept the invitation, or say she is unable to attend, but would like to come another time.
4. Never be desperate. Despair kills all romantic vibes instantly. Never be too pushy and never be that person who doesn't want to hear "no". It's okay if someone doesn't want to talk to or interact with you because everyone can choose, just like you. Change the topic of conversation or walk away guilt-free when someone rejects you. Don't try to convince someone to come with you anyway, as this usually doesn't end well.
   • Make sure you don't invest too much emotionally in someone you don't have access to yet. This way it is less bad when you are rejected and it is easier to find someone else.
5. Make sure you look comfortable. Don't worry so much about what you look like when you go out. It goes without saying that you will look clean and well-groomed, but don't overdo it. Put on something that makes you feel comfortable and you come across confident and confident.
   • Formal social occasions are an exception to this rule. Some occasions, such as weddings or chic restaurants, require a certain dress code with, for example, a tie or a jacket. Casual wear does not make a good impression. If you are unsure of what is expected of you, contact the organization or a restaurant staff to ask.
6. Be sincere. Most people can tell when you're lying to them. Therefore, don't pretend to be someone you are attracted to. Sincerity is always the best. Also, do not give excessive compliments that you do not support and do not be arrogant and boastful if you want to conquer someone. If you are together later on, you still want to be able to be yourself. Therefore, be yourself right from the start, so your chosen one will know exactly what he or she chooses.
   • It also shows very little respect to lie to someone. You never take someone seriously or you think they are stupid.
7. Make sure you have a good plan for dates. Don't wait too long if you've already gotten to know someone a little bit and you want to make a date. Otherwise, they may think you are not interested. You don't need to come up with really big plans to make an impression, but you do need to have some sort of idea. This shows that you have thought about it and that you want to make sure your date has a good night. When you ask someone out on a date without a single idea, you seem a bit dumb. So make a plan in advance. A few ideas for a fun first date are:
   • Take a walk in the woods or try geocaching
   • Go to a creative workshop together. For example, go to a Bob Ross painting workshop or do something with photography.
   • Take a bike ride along a romantic route
   • Go to the beach
   • Play a competitive sport. Something like paintball or bowling is super fun to do.
   • Don't go to an old-fashioned movie theater. Such an outing is certainly fun, but not for the first date, because you can hardly talk to each other. Rather go to an exhibition or a museum, where you can exchange thoughts and ideas.

Tips

• Read wikiHow articles for professional tips on anything you want to improve at.
• Become your ideal self. Strive to become the best version of yourself. Simplify your life and have fun.

Warnings

• Do not become a willless sheep following the crowd. Be who you are and who you want to be. That means you don't do anything just because others are doing it.
• Never give up, because with a little effort you can always improve yourself.