Author:
Roger Morrison
Date Of Creation:
23 September 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
You probably know that physical intimacy with your partner can deepen love and affection, but it can also be the cause of tension from time to time, whether you are male or female, straight or gay. When we open up to our partner through physical affection or sex, we are very vulnerable emotionally, making it much more painful when we encounter mistakes or problems than when they arise in any other area of our life. So don't ignore these things, as physical intimacy issues can put a serious strain on the relationship.
To step
Method 1 of 2: Build intimacy
Get used to gradually showing your affection more and more. If you're not used to showing physical affection to your sweetheart, don't jump right in! Then you know for sure that you could get hurt or confused. Build physical intimacy slowly by showing your affection in small (but meaningful) ways and gradually move on to more serious forms of affection. Remember that the emotions associated with physical intimacy can be very strong, so don't rush until you are really comfortable with the less intense feelings. 
Do things where you are physically close to each other. If you're not sure how to start a physical relationship with your partner, start small. Doing something that requires you to be close together will get you used to showing physical affection and can be a stepping stone to other physical activities. Cuddle up while watching a movie, ride a roller coaster together, hold him / her tightly on the back of the bike, go swimming, jet skiing, or do something else that requires two people to sit together. Even sitting side by side with your thighs touching is better than nothing. You have to start somewhere! 
Enjoy cuddling. If you feel comfortable being close together, you will probably start cuddling on your own. Lying next to your partner and holding them is a great and often underrated way to relax together and strengthen the physical bond. - Don't think hugging is a waste of your time - as your relationship gets more serious, you may wish you had more time for it.
Hold hands as a sign of affection. It may sound childish and innocent, but it is a good way to show your affection, especially in situations where other forms of affection are inappropriate. In many cultures, this gesture is an acceptable way to show your affection in public, while kissing may not be. You can also do it when other romantic gestures are just plain awkward, like on the tight back seat of a car. It may not be the most exciting, fiery form of physical intimacy, but it is the most versatile. 
Kiss to show your passion, but don't take a single kiss too seriously. This is it - the big moment! Kissing the other is a big step after holding hands and hugging. It shows that you really care about the other person and that you long for them, so there must be feeling behind the kiss. Ideally, there must be so much desire behind the first kiss that it is almost impossible to do it not to do. Of course, it is unrealistic to assume that the first kiss, and actually most kisses that follow, are perfect for everyone, so don't feel too much pressure. Rather, think of kissing as a fun, mutually pleasant, but serious expression of affection. 
Be playful! The prospect of becoming physically intimate with your partner shouldn't be intimidating - if so, maybe you should talk quietly about these things first. Physical intimacy is not only an opportunity to show your affection to your partner, but it should also be fun to spend time together in this way, so try to keep it light and playful. "Teasing" is one such way to keep it light - try to tickle the other person while you're hugging or playfully refuse to kiss while you're kissing. As long as you keep it funny and don't hurt or frustrate the other person, teasing is a great way to put some playful passion into physical intimacy. 
Stay happy and healthy. It's worth noting that your attitude isn't the only thing that affects your ability to have an emotionally intimate relationship with your partner. Your physical and emotional health are also an important factor in intimacy with your partner. Good hygiene, for example, is indispensable. You can't ignore it, no matter how romantic you are, if you stink, physical intimacy will suffer. You should also put some effort into your physical fitness so that you look your best when you're with your partner. On the emotional side, you need to learn how to handle things that cause stress, as stress can also negatively affect your ability to enjoy physical intimacy. - Exercise regularly. Research has shown that regular exercise makes you feel better, as endorphins are released in the brain. These endorphins help to give you a euphoric, fulfilled feeling, setting you in the right mood for physical intimacy. In addition, exercise also helps to keep you fit and attractive!
- Don't be afraid to talk to others - a therapist, for example - about the mental stress you are dealing with. In addition to friends, loved ones, or other people you trust such as a teacher or pastor, a therapist can help you with issues that cause stress and / or hinder physical intimacy.
Method 2 of 2: Intimacy in the bedroom
Rethink your attitude to sex. Physical intimacy in the form of sex is not an achievement, chore, or competition. It is the most honest expression of love for someone else, and a way to strengthen the bond with that person. In any case, it should be fun, relaxing, satisfying, but not stressful! Don't think of sex as something that needs to be done in a certain way or it isn't "right" - rather see it as something you and your partner do so that you yourself can be. You can extend this attitude to the way you see your partner - he / she is a real person with his / her own unique sexual preferences. - For example, let's say a straight couple has problems with intimacy because the man is self-aware of his abilities as a lover. The man is acting with false ideas about male sufficiency - he actually thinks it is the man's job to be the "active" or "experienced" partner. Ironically, this attitude keeps him from getting the seasoned experience and confidence he needs to become the best lover he can be. If the man saw sex more as a form of self-expression and less as an opportunity to play a predetermined role, he would probably enjoy it much more.
Make time for romance. Sex is like any skill or hobby - if you put in enough time and effort it will get much, much better. You can try using some "traditional" romantic gestures - lighting beautiful candles, drinking a glass of wine together, saying sweet things to each other on the couch, cherishing the intimacy of that moment. Or you can try something different, in a way that suits you as a couple. It is entirely up to you. Whatever you do, creating the right atmosphere will lead to a rewarding and enjoyable moment of sharing your love. 
Learn to massage. Massage is a great way to show affection, it can serve as foreplay and build a deeper connection with your partner. You can use a neutral oil (such as grape seed oil), especially if one of you has allergies. If not, you can use a nice scent, which some people prefer. A nice scent can be both relaxing and exciting. - Touching and being touched are equally important, so learn to give and take! If you can't get a massage without bursting into giggles, try relaxing first by moving a bit or taking a warm bath.
Be open and talk about sex. From time to time it is good to talk to your partner so that you know what he / she likes and dislikes. Many people are shy about talking about their deepest desires, so it's easier not to talk about them when you're really working on them, so that both partners feel fulfilled. - Make it a habit to focus on your partner's pleasure. If both partners have this attitude, the sex is incredibly satisfying and strengthens your bond.
Go to bed together. This seems very obvious, but due to all the obligations such as work and children, many couples don't go to bed at the same time. Going to bed together not only gives the opportunity to make love (even if it is also the case!), but it is an opportunity to give each other some attention and strengthen the intimate bond. Most honest, candid conversations take place in bed, because that's when no one is around. When you give up this special moment, you are actually giving up an opportunity for physical and emotional intimacy. - If your schedules don't allow you to go to bed at the same time, by all means try for a bit lying in bed together - just before your partner gets up, for example. Also try to arrange a special sign for your partner to show that he / she is "in the mood" so that you are in bed together if they are.
Spend a lot of time in foreplay. Teasing, kissing, caressing, and other foreplay techniques can be great tools to increase the satisfaction you get from sex. This is also a great way to find out what your partner likes, as most people open up a bit more when they are "in the mood". Don't rush it - take your time so you can really enjoy the moment. 
Don't insist if your partner doesn't feel good about it. Experimenting during sex can be great. It's a great way to broaden your horizons as a couple. But if you don't take your partner's feelings into account, you can hurt him / her very badly. It's okay to introduce new ideas, but never force your partner into something if they don't actually want to. That can cause permanent damage and you can regret it a lot. 
Do not let the other person cross your boundaries. Just as you cannot demand anything from the other person in terms of sex, it is important that he / she does not comply with that either you is doing. Never feel like you have to show your physical affection in ways you are uncomfortable with. You can become confused and emotionally damaged if you get into sexual situations too quickly that you are not ready for. If your partner asks you to do things you don't want to do (yet), don't force yourself to do it because you think you owe it or because you want to please your partner. A good, respectful partner will have patience and understanding. After a while, once you've built up enough confidence as a lover, you might enjoy trying new things that seemed scary to you at first. Listen carefully to your inner voice and don't think you have to compromise in this area. 
Immerse yourself in your fantasies and particulars. If you have patience, time and respect, you will gain more and more confidence as a lover. As your love for each other has grown, you can start sharing (and maybe acting out) more intimate fantasies. As long as it is fun and enjoyable, and done in a way that is respectful and loving for both, it doesn't hurt to experiment.
Tips
- You can only give your partner satisfaction if you really feel comfortable with him / her.
- A physical relationship works in two directions, just like a conversation. Get to know your partner's preferences and try to please him / her as much as possible, but make sure you get what you want.
- A one-night stand may seem fun, but it only becomes meaningful when we develop a physical relationship with someone we love.
- Saying dirty things to each other can create a bond. When you say dirty things, both of you will start thinking about more dirty things, and you want more of it, and you might even dare to try it for real. A good way to start talking dirty is to play some sort of question and answer game. You ask a question, he / she answers, then the other way around. You have to try to build it up from innocent to really naughty. You can also extract information from it. What is good and what is not good, what turns him / she on. But it can at least ensure that everything goes a lot faster.
Warnings
- Don't be persuaded to do things you are not ready for. Before starting a physical relationship, take the time to get to know someone well and make sure you want it. Don't let yourself be pressured.
- Relatively safe! Use a condom to protect yourself and your partner against STIs.
