Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Protect yourself
• Method 2 of 3: Escape the abuse
• Method 3 of 3: Get support

Being married to someone who is abusive can leave you feeling hopeless and lonely. However, you are not alone - many others have experienced what you are now experiencing for themselves. Protect yourself from an abusive woman by learning to articulate your boundaries and know what elicits her response. If you want to leave the marriage, find out how to access resources and plan your escape. Whether you want to stay or leave, make sure you use different forms of support to take care of yourself.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Protect yourself

1. Clearly indicate your limits. There is a chance that your wife will not see her behavior as offensive. Let her know that you don't like the way she treats you. You can do this by talking about what annoys you and clarifying the consequences if the behavior does not stop.
   • If your wife insults you, you could say, "Don't scold me. If you continue like this, I will leave. "
   • Try to set your boundary when the behavior occurs so that there is no confusion.
2. Recognize and avoid your wife's stimuli. Most women who abuse their husbands have warning signs that indicate when the abuse could take place. For example, your wife may be more likely to hit you if she's had alcohol.
   • If you see a stimulus or warning signal, move away from your wife. Leave the house and go to a safe place.
   • If you cannot leave the house, go to a room with a door that can be locked and where you can remain safe until your wife leaves or calms down.
3. Stay calm. If your wife is guilty of abuse, try to stay calm. One way to relieve tension and calm yourself is to practice abdominal breathing. This exercise can be performed at any time to help you control yourself when you are weighed down by your wife's mistreatment.
   • Take a deep breath in from your nose, hold your breath for a moment, then exhale through your mouth. Repeat this cycle a few times to take better control of yourself.
4. Resist the urge to fight back. Being on the receiving end of the abuse can be difficult, but do your best not to react with violence. Retaliation will not help your cause.
   • If you, as a man, defend yourself violently against your (or an) aggressive woman, your chance of proving that she (has) abused you will be much smaller. The authorities will initially assume that you are the abusive party, simply because women are more often the victims of abuse or mistreatment.
   • Whether you are male or female, walk away if she approaches you aggressively. If you hurt her, you may be the one to be arrested.
5. Find a safe place to go. Find a place to go if your wife is abusing you. This could be a friend, family member, or neighbor's house, or a public place, such as a park or library.
   • If you have children, you can take them with you, especially if you think they are in danger. Having to listen to constant arguments is also not good for children.
6. Call 112 if you are in danger. If your abusive wife is threatening your life or that of your children or brandishing a weapon, you need help. Don't assume the threats are empty or fail to call the authorities just because you're afraid they won't believe you. Call the police immediately.
   • It is important to take action because reporting the abuse to your wife shows that you are serious about carrying out the consequences. It also helps you in gathering evidence as the agent must file an official report of the incident.
   • Don't be ashamed to report that you are being abused by your wife. Abuse and abuse can happen to anyone, including men.

Method 2 of 3: Escape the abuse

1. Document the abuse. It is important to obtain evidence that the abuse is taking place. This will help build a case against your wife and ensure that you are not the one accused of abuse.
   • Record dates and times when the abuse occurred. Take pictures of your injuries and see a doctor to have the incident recorded in your medical record.
   • If another adult witnessed the abuse, request a record on your record.
   • If your wife sends insulting or threatening text messages or emails, keep them.
   • When it comes to emotional abuse, try to describe what your wife is doing in as much detail as possible.
2. Find over-the-counter resources. Contact local domestic violence programs to see if they can assist you in escaping your abusive wife. Many such programs are aimed at women. However, you should be able to find some support centers that help men if you are a male victim of domestic violence.
   • Such programs can help you plan your escape, provide support and legal aid so that your wife can be banned from restraining. If you have children, they can help you get temporary custody of them (as long as the abuse is well documented).
   • For more help in finding resources, you can contact the domestic violence help telephone, Safe at Home, tel. 0800-2000.
3. Prepare a "flight bag". In the heat of battle, you will not be able to gather the practicalities needed to leave your wife. Instead, pack bags in advance with what you and your kids will need.
   • Your bags can contain clothing, money and important documents such as insurance cards and ID cards or passports.
   • If you plan to bring your children, please review the flight plan in advance. Consider their age when explaining the purpose of the plan to them.
4. Make an overview of your emergency contacts. Think about where you are going and who you will call if you decide to leave your abusive wife. Make a list of emergency numbers and contact information for your close friends and family.
   • Let your emergency contacts know your flight plan. Someone may need to come and pick you up because you don't have transportation yourself. Then you need to determine where you are going, such as an emergency shelter or the home of a family member.
5. Don't tell your wife where you are. Once you've decided to leave the abuser, don't let her know where you are as this could be dangerous for you and your kids. To keep your whereabouts a secret, it is best to go to a shelter or to a family member who does not know your wife. That way, she's less likely to find you.
   • In addition, make sure you do not contact her after you leave. Leave any further discussions to the police or your legal representative.
6. File for divorce if you suspect your wife will continue the abuse. Abusive partners rarely change. If your wife admits that her behavior is wrong and agrees to receive professional help, there may be hope for your marriage. If your wife denies the abuse or refuses to change, divorce is the healthiest choice for you.
   • If you want to end your marriage with your wife for assaulting you, talk to a lawyer about your rights. You may have to live separately from your wife for a while before a divorce is allowed.
   • Having evidence and witnesses present to testify to the abuse helps your case because it won't just be your word against your wife's.
   • Don't continue the relationship based on its promises to change. A temporary separation may be necessary to effect the change.

Method 3 of 3: Get support

1. Reach out to friends and family. Talk to your loved ones about what is happening at home. Consider asking them for financial assistance, a place to stay, or a shoulder to cry on if you need it.
   • If you are a male victim of domestic violence, you may be ashamed of the abuse. That's not necessary. Keeping the abuse a secret will only lead to further isolation and lack of support.
2. Consult with a therapist. Professional counseling is a smart option for abuse victims. Whether you decide to stay or leave, it can be difficult to control your situation and you can feel confused about how to proceed. A counselor can provide practical guidance and support.
   • Ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist or ask for recommendations from the staff at the emergency shelter.
3. Join a support group. You may feel less isolated in your situation if you reach out to others who understand. Look up domestic violence support groups in your area or online.
   • The members of the group can help you come to terms with the abuse and provide practical advice, such as learning to be a single parent or finding lawyers to handle a divorce.
4. Create one self-care routine to recover. Abuse leaves emotional scars even though the physical scars have healed. You can recover from domestic violence by learning healthy habits that help you nurture and express yourself.
   • Include nourishing physical activities in your daily routine such as yoga, dance or boxing. Do relaxation techniques, such as abdominal breathing or mindfulness meditation. You can also enjoy creative pursuits such as writing, painting, coloring, doing puzzles and playing games.