Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Organizing the content
• Part 2 of 3: Composing the eulogy
• Part 3 of 3: Adding meaningful extras
• Tips

It can be emotional and difficult to write a eulogy for your mom, but it also gives you a chance to celebrate her life. Everyone at the funeral or memorial service will most likely be interested in hearing your stories and memorials. Write a eulogy for your mother by gathering and organizing the information you plan to share and writing down what you want to say.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Organizing the content

1. Think about the purpose of the eulogy. When you sit down to write down the broad outlines of your eulogy, think about your goals before writing anything down. First, keep in mind the differences between a eulogy, obituary, and elegy. A eulogy is a speech usually given during the visit or funeral that pays tribute to your mother.
   • An obituary is a brief announcement of your mother's death that appears in the newspaper, while an elegy is a poem or song of mourning.
   • A eulogy is a speech that pays tribute to your mother's life, which may include a short story about your mother's life. Instead of writing down what others want or ask of you, let your eulogy tell your own story about your mother.
2. Brainstorm facts and memories. After you determine the purpose of your eulogy, start collecting materials for it. List everything you can think of to use in the eulogy - funny anecdotes, facts about her life, your favorite memories together, lessons she taught you, and so on.
   • Questions you can ask yourself to help you brainstorm include, "What trait of my mother do I remember most?"
   • Try asking yourself, "What's something my mom used to do to comfort me?"
   • When you've put together your list, refine it into stories and memories that will achieve the goal you set for the eulogy.
3. Interview your family members with whom you are close. Ask your family members if they have any stories they would like to add to the eulogy. You will probably get quite a few anecdotes to add to your brainstorming list.
   • Ask them questions like, "What is your favorite memory of my mom?"
   • Another question might be, "What life lessons did my mom teach you?"
4. Organize the text in the sketch. Organize your anecdotes in a specific way in the text, such as chronologically or in logical categories. Doing this will give your eulogy focus so that others can follow what you say.
   • For example, instead of naming the anecdotes in chronological order, you could group them by type: personal memories, the memories of others, her favorite things, her impact on your life, her impact on the lives of others, and close with how she will be sorely missed before concluding your eulogy.
   • You may also be able to use poems or songs recited by other family members for the body of the text.
5. Make an introduction and conclusion. The introduction should begin with a short greeting to the listeners and an introduction to yourself and your relationship with your mother. The conclusion should repeat the main theme of your eulogy.
   • For example, you could start with, "Hello everyone, my name is Sem and I am Mary's son. I am honored to share her eulogy with you today."
   • You can end with, "Thank you so much for coming to honor my mother today. I know she would have been very grateful."

Part 2 of 3: Composing the eulogy

1. Write to read aloud. Remember that you will likely read your eulogy aloud at your mother's memorial. Use diction and vocabulary appropriate for this, such as thanking others for coming. Also, take notes indicating where to pause. This means avoiding a formal tone.
   • Focus on writing the way you speak. Simply reading a script to the audience can make the eulogy feel dry and ultra-formal, an effect you'll likely want to avoid.
   • Try to format your eulogy as a list, leaving room for improvisation so that you don't constantly look at your piece of paper.
2. Start with the body of the eulogy. Most writing has a beginning, middle, and end. For a eulogy you will need an introduction, body, and conclusion. Start to make an engaging introduction with the body, then move on to the conclusion before going back to write the introduction. Writing in this order will help you figure out what to say so that the introduction will be clearer.
   • Keep in mind that you will probably write multiple versions before coming up with a eulogy that you are happy with.
   • Ask friends and family to read or listen to the eulogy as you read your rough sketches of the eulogy to make it stronger.
3. Choose a tone for the eulogy. The tone of a eulogy does not have to be sad, although it certainly should be. Ask yourself some questions to determine the tone of your eulogy. For example, how would you like your mother to feel? How do you want others to feel after hearing or reading your eulogy?
   • Consider your mother's personality. Was she vibrant and energetic? Warm and loving? Think about how you can match the tone of your eulogy with your mother's personality.
4. Understand what not to add. Knowing what a eulogy is can help you determine which things to leave out. First, consider a eulogy as a gift for your mother. Your gift will help everyone to end their life as they go through their grieving process. That said, you can choose to filter out things that don't fit in here.
   • You will probably want to leave out negative things. If you were angry with her when she passed away, it can help to forgive her before writing the eulogy so that you can focus more on the positive things.
   • Avoid trivial facts that don't add to the main theme of your eulogy, such as her daily habits.
5. Avoid the pursuit of perfection. Keep in mind that this eulogy does not have to be perfect in any way. Think of it as a way to honor your mother, and remember that funeral guests will appreciate this gesture. Help yourself to speak from the heart by removing from yourself the pressure of the idea that you must convey the eulogy perfectly.
   • If you tend to be a perfectionist, try to lower your expectations of yourself by imagining how you would expect a brother, sister, or other family member to do this. Treat yourself as you would treat them (so feel sorry for mistakes).

Part 3 of 3: Adding meaningful extras

1. Share the legacy you believe left. Be sure to include in the body of your eulogy the legacy you think she left behind. A legacy is what you want your mother to be remembered for, and what she was most proud to be remembered for.
   • Think about if your mom ever told you what she would like to be remembered for, or ask others if she talked to them about this.
   • If she's never told someone she'd like to be remembered for, think about the main theme of her life. What did she do the most? What did she sacrifice the most for? Is there anyone who is grateful to her for something she has done?
   • For example, your mother's favorite sayings, her philosophy of life, or whatever she thought was her most important achievement.
2. Describe some of her achievements. Talk about some of the best things your mom has done. This doesn't have to be something big, like designing a famous building or something that got a lot of public attention. Maybe you and your siblings have become well-adjusted individuals, and that's a great accomplishment.
   • Achievements can be both tangible and intangible.
3. Include moving anecdotes. Anecdotes can be both moving and funny. A mix of both creates a balance in your eulogy to ease some of the heavy burden of grieving. Make sure to add both of these types of anecdotes to your brainstorming list.
   • Get ideas from your friends and family members.

Tips

• Remember to thank everyone for coming. You can do this at the beginning or at the end of your eulogy.
• Make sure to practice your eulogy at least once before delivering it during the memorial service. You can do this on your own in front of the mirror, or for family members to get their feedback.
• Keep some water and tissues with you while you deliver your eulogy. It's totally okay to get emotional or to take a breather.