Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Working on yourself
• Part 2 of 2: Dealing with others
• Tips

If you want to become a better person, you have to start working on yourself. It takes a lot of self-reflection and investment in yourself before you can interact with others in a kind, compassionate way. If you want to be admired, work on yourself and then help others by showing genuine compassion and charity.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Working on yourself

1. Know good personal qualities. What makes a "good" person? Different people have different ideas about what makes someone a good person, but there are some traits that most people think are desirable traits to have. Develop your own list of qualities you want to work on, to become someone others look up to.
   • You may decide that "good" means showing integrity, trustworthiness and honesty.
   • Some consider goodness to be humility, generosity, and kindness.
   • The ability to empathize with others and not be judgmental is another way to be good.
2. Be careful not to seek the approval of others. There is nothing wrong with trying to be a good person. However, it is not a good idea to change yourself so that you can become popular. You can be anything to anyone. Strive to be good, just to be good, not impress others.
   • If your mission to change is motivated by someone else's opinion of you, it's easy to get off the right track. You may find yourself just trying to meet the expectations of others, instead of doing the right thing.
   • That aside, it's okay to want to set a good example for others, especially children. If you are a parent, the values ​​you show as a parent will affect your children.
3. Be sincere. To be sincere means to really say what you think and to stick to your words with your actions. People admire others who are sincere because they don't try to pretend to be someone else and you can trust them to mean what they say.
   • To work on being more sincere, consider whether you are living by your own values. If your value is that you want to protect the environment, do you convey this through your lifestyle? Doing things like recycling, carpooling, conserving water, etc. are ways to stay true to what you believe in, which is that it is important to protect the environment.
   • Accept yourself completely. Everyone has areas that are known to be strengths and areas that are not so easy. Everyone will have to deal with mistakes and not immediately be rewarded for efforts made. People don't have to be perfect to be good. Sincere people don't mind facing challenges and strengths in their attributes. They also don't mind having to try things several times before they succeed.
   • Don't judge the people around you. Sincere people are less likely to compare other people to themselves or to existing standards. Truly sincere people accept other people as they are. Try not to judge friends, family and colleagues.
4. Work on your self-esteem. Recognize the good things about yourself and celebrate your successes. Accepting yourself as you are is essential to becoming a good and admired person. People tend to gravitate towards people with reasonable confidence, and it's easier to think about others if you're not all the time preoccupied with your own supposed imperfections.
   • If you find that you have low self-esteem, engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. For example, if you can listen well to others, you could volunteer in a nursing home and spend time talking to residents. You can feel positive by doing a good job that matches your skills.
   • Talk to yourself in a positive way. When faced with a challenge, tell yourself, "I can do this." When you do something right, congratulate yourself.
   • It can be very difficult to increase your self-esteem, especially if you are dealing with an existing mental illness that affects your perception of yourself. If so, consider seeing a therapist, or counselor, to discuss these issues. You can be referred to a therapist by your doctor, or check with your insurer which practices and independent care providers are accepted by your insurance. If you are a student, you may qualify for a free treatment or discount through your college or university.
5. Curb negative impulses. It's okay to have negative feelings every once in a while. However, it is important to learn to deal with these negative feelings constructively or else your behavior will be negatively affected. You can do this through emotion regulation, which is a way of processing your emotions in such a way that you can deal with them in a healthy way.
   • Emotion regulation is a step-by-step process. First you recognize that you are feeling anger or some other negative emotion. Notice how it feels and give it a name. Think about the cause of the emotion. Take a moment to consider how you feel about having that emotion and how you want to deal with it. Ultimately, choose an appropriate action to take.
   • Taking the time to process your emotions in this way gives you the chance to use that emotion in a healthy way, instead of reacting impulsively. Suppose your daughter comes home after the appointed time. Instead of yelling at her, take the time to process your anger and decide what action to take, such as setting a time to talk about it the next day.
   • Sometimes past trauma and abuse create emotional patterns that hinder the process of emotion regulation. You may have emotional outbursts that affect the people around you. Try distractions to help calm you down, then work on a productive inner dialogue, such as, “It's okay, I'm just having a bad day. This happens from time to time. Tomorrow I will have a better day. ” It can also help to explain to those around you, saying, “I've had a bad day and feel a little tense and upset. I will try to calm down a bit first, then we can talk when I feel better. ”
   • Forgiveness is an important part of being a good person. Forgiving the mistakes of others and yourself can free you from resentment, mistrust, and anger that may have affected your past behavior.
   • If you have trouble forgiving and have a tendency to be resentful, talk to a therapist about how to get rid of past resentments. Yoga encourages living in the now in a spiritual sense, and can also help you forgive.
6. Work on behaviors that may be harmful to others. Take note of the person you are with right now and be honest. Is there anything in your life that affects your relationship with others? What can you do to fix this?
   • Take a closer look at your psychological health. It's hard to be good to others when you're struggling to take care of yourself. If you suffer from depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems, seek the help of a licensed psychotherapist. Being mentally stable can help you be a better person to those around you.
   • Deal with existing addictions. Addiction can manifest itself both physically (smoking, alcohol and drugs) and psychologically (video games, internet). Whatever form you take it in, it can be very difficult to maintain a meaningful relationship and gain admiration and respect when you are struggling with an addiction. There are a number of different tests you can take online yourself to see if you are showing signs of an addiction. If so, you could ask for help from a therapist. There are also support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, which have centers in places across the country and can work with you to tackle that addiction.
   • Pay close attention to your stress levels. If you are a particularly tense person, you can have a negative effect on your environment without realizing it. If you are very concerned about your own issues and problems, you may inadvertently ignore or put aside what others need. Meditation, therapy, regular exercise, and conversations with a therapist or counselor can all help you manage your stress levels.

Part 2 of 2: Dealing with others

1. Be charismatic. To make people look up to you, charisma is important. Work on improving your speaking, listening, and storytelling skills to become a more charismatic, enjoyable person.
   • Practice listening to learn to listen better. Really listen and be present when someone is talking, rather than thinking about what your response will be. Encourage the other person to nod and ask questions.
   • Try to keep up with the world around you. People are generally impressed by someone who is knowledgeable and well informed. Read newspapers, magazines and online news sources. Keep track of current events. It is not necessary to have strong political convictions of your own, but having a certain idea of ​​what people are talking about at the moment is important for a charismatic appearance.
   • Use your body language to convey confidence. Maintain eye contact with other people. Stand up straight. Nod and respond to what others say to indicate interest and understanding. If you are in a conversation, ask about other people. People are attracted to individuals who are genuinely interested in their social environment.
   • Practice telling stories. People often admire someone who is good at storytelling, so practice telling amusing personal anecdotes. It can help to listen to radio programs, such as "The Moth" or "This American Life," to get a sense of good ways to tell a story.
2. Be honest and assertive. In other words, tell people how you really feel, instead of gagging them and hiding your true feelings. This is one way to increase the trust people place in you. Being direct and honest with those around you will make you a better, more admirable person.
   • Practice being honest with other people about your actions, even if you've made a mistake. For example, if you missed a deadline at work, don't blame the lack of sleep, stress, or other factors. Just straighten your back and say, "I wasn't paying attention so it didn't work out. I'll work harder next time."
   • Being honest even when it hurts someone's feelings isn't always easy, but there is a way to do it without causing pain. Dress up your feedback constructively. For example, if someone asks you what you think of a new shirt and you don't think it's great, you could say, "That's not the shirt I like best. May I show you which shirt I like for you? likes it best? "
   • However, do not give unsolicited advice. This comes across as preachy and is usually not well received by others. Especially when it comes to sensitive matters, such as someone's weight, job or relationship status, it is better to keep many to yourself, unless someone asks you to.
3. Give to others. Being generous to friends and family is a great way to become admired and a better person. You can achieve a lot with a simple, friendly gesture.
   • Have you been invited to a party, bring something to share. With a snack or drink you show the host that you appreciate the invitation. Even though you know that there is something to eat, it doesn't hurt to bring something yourself.
   • When you go out with friends, give a round or offer to be the Bob.
   • If a friend has had a rough day, give them a simple present, such as a homemade card or something you've baked.
   • Giving something does not always have to be in the form of one thing. You can also give people your time. For example, take an hour to visit a friend in the hospital or visit a family member's home if they are going through a rough time. Sometimes the positive energy of the other person alone helps.
4. Give back to the community. Ultimately, being a good person can extend beyond the boundaries of your immediate social circle. Look for ways to give back to society.
   • Volunteering is a great way to give back to society. Look for a cause that you are passionate about and can contribute to. For example, if you are an avid reader, sign up as a volunteer to read to children or the elderly in hospital, nursing home or day care center. If you love animals, ask if they need volunteers at the local animal shelter.
   • Donating money can help too, but you can make an even better turn by raising money. Offer to call people who have given money in the past on behalf of the organization you care about. Participate in charity activities such as charity dinners, auctions, marathons, and other events.
   • You can also offer to help on a small scale. Pay attention in your area where you live. If you have older neighbors, offer to rake the leaves from the garden or clear snow in the winter. If you have neighbors with young children, offer to babysit occasionally for free. If someone on your street has lost a loved one, stop by with a homemade casserole and pasta to ease the pressure of the household during the grieving process.

Tips

• Always stay polite. Even when you are frustrated, try to talk to people in a calm, courteous manner.