Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Take a critical look at your relationship
• Method 2 of 3: Listen to your body and mind
• Method 3 of 3: Learning about sex
• Warnings

When it comes to knowing if it's time to sleep with your partner, only you know the answer. If your mind and body are telling you that you have reached a new level of intimacy with your partner, and you are ready to take that step, then you should work to learn more about sex and find out the same. ideas if your partner have about it before proceeding. Most importantly, you make the decision based on your own terms.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Take a critical look at your relationship

1. Make sure you and your partner can talk about it. If you feel like you and your partner can't even talk about sex yet, you probably aren't ready to go into that phase of the relationship. While you may think that sex can only happen naturally at a time when you engage in it, it's actually quite important that you can talk about it in a pleasant way with your partner before moving on so that you can make sure it says the same thing.
   • You should feel comfortable saying something like, “I find I am slowly but surely ready to make love to you. But before we do that, I just want to talk to you about a few things. Is that good?" If it seems unthinkable that you would ever say this to your partner, then you would probably be better off waiting a while longer.
   • You should discuss with your partner whether or not you are going to sleep with other people, what kind of contraceptive you are going to use, and what kind of relationship you have.
   • Even if you have a somewhat looser relationship and you currently have other sexual partners, it is important to talk about them so that your partner does not feel taken by surprise later.
2. Be on the same wavelength emotionally. Another important thing to consider before sleeping with your partner is whether you have more or less the same feelings about this topic. For you, it may be a very important connection that you make with someone, while your partner may not view it that way, or vice versa. If making love means going all out for your partner and wanting to deepen your relationship, it's important that you know that he or she feels that way before moving on.
   • While it can be uncomfortable to ask your partner where they are in terms of your relationship, it can help you get a better view of the situation. Plus, it's much less painful to hear before making love that your partner doesn't feel quite the same way about you, instead of telling you the truth afterward.
   • You don't have to feel like you have to be in love with your partner to make love to him, but if you do have strong feelings for him, it is important that you know that your partner feels the same for you. And if you don't have strong feelings for the other, then it's also good to make sure your partner knows about this so that you don't hurt the other person at a later stage.
3. Don't do it to be more committed to each other. Be honest with yourself. If you would like to have sex with your partner because you think that afterwards he or she is more likely to call you his boyfriend or girlfriend, then you probably do better to hold off. While sex is a wonderful part of many healthy and serious relationships, it doesn't make sense to think that when you have sex with your partner, you have a guarantee that you will develop a stronger bond with your partner. On the contrary, the bond you have should be strong by itself. You should therefore be ready for it naturally, not because you want something in return.
   • If you feel insecure about the relationship, ask yourself why. If you feel like your partner just doesn't take the relationship as seriously as you do, then sex isn't the way to take your relationship to the next level.
4. Be the only one (if that's what you want). People all have different rules and attitudes when it comes to knowing when to sleep together. Some people in somewhat casual relationships are fine with having sex with multiple people - as long as it's safe. Other people, on the other hand, do not want to make love to someone if the other person is also sleeping with other people; even if they are not friends they do not want to be second to each other and want to keep the intimacy exclusive. If you want to be the only person your partner sleeps with, the best thing to do is ask your partner where you stand as far as they are concerned.
   • Again, it may feel a bit uncomfortable, especially if you are not yet a boyfriend and girlfriend, but if you just ask the question directly, you will certainly get a better picture of your situation.
5. Know that every relationship - and every course - is different. Some people have a set timeline when it comes to making love to a new partner; some do it after four dates, others wait two months, and some do it the first night when it feels really good. While you may want a straightforward answer to the question of when is the best time to go to bed for the first time, it depends on your individual preference and how your relationship is going. There is no one size fits all answer.
   • Some relationships go a lot faster than others. If you are often with your partner and feel that you already have a huge click with each other and get along really well with each other, then you probably have sex with each other sooner than if you only once in a while for a few months. have an appointment with each other for two weeks.
   • Some relationships are also a lot more physical than others. If you and your partner kiss and touch each other excitingly early on, you may be ready to have sex sooner than you would be in a slow-moving relationship.
   • How annoying you may be to hear: often you know inside out if you are ready to sleep with your partner. You feel connected to your partner and you really want to move on with them. You will notice that you usually do not stick to a formula or timeline.
6. Make sure you trust your partner. One way to determine if you already want to sleep with your partner is to ask yourself if you really trust your partner. You don't have to expect to be able to trust him all your life, but you should feel comfortable enough that you can entrust him with things, that you can share a part of yourself with that other person, and that you are intimate. can be with him. If you feel like you're not sure how serious your partner is, or feel like you can't fully rely on him, then it may not be the time to start making out.
   • Ask yourself if you are comfortable enough to trust your partner and to assume that your secrets and thoughts are safe with him or her.
   • If you suspect that your partner is trying to get closer to you because he just wants to sleep with you, then obviously you can't trust that person.
7. Make sure your relationship is intimate enough to have sex with each other. This is another important point. If you don't feel like your relationship is very intimate - whether it's that you and your partner are arguing all the time, hitting each other, or calling each other names - then you definitely shouldn't start making out because you think the relationship will becomes more intimate. You should feel like you are in a respectful relationship with good communication before moving on with each other.
   • If the two of you aren't even mature enough to have a civilized conversation or discuss serious topics with each other, then you aren't mature enough to sleep together either.
   • You should feel comfortable enough to be intimate with your partner before moving on. Otherwise, he may not be taking intimacy seriously and making out together can only create more distance between you.
   • In addition, you need to make sure that you are ready to sleep with someone yourself. If you are an adolescent, especially if you are just an adolescent, then you have to make sure that you are really ready for it.
8. Make sure that sex does not go against any beliefs of your partner or yourself. Some people simply don't believe in premarital sex, whether for personal or religious reasons. If this has been your belief throughout your life, you should ask yourself if you want to revise those beliefs before moving on with your partner. It's okay to change your mind, but it's important that you think about it so you don't get disappointed in yourself later if you make an unexpected decision to have sex anyway.
   • If your partner's beliefs make him not believe in premarital sex, then you shouldn't try to get him to change his mind. Your partner should make this decision himself; you don't want to be responsible if he gives up views he has long held because you persuaded him.

Method 2 of 3: Listen to your body and mind

1. Don't feel pressured to make love. Ask yourself if you want to know if it is already the right time to have sex because you are really ready to be sexually active with your partner, or because you feel pressured because you have been together for a while , or because your partner keeps asking about it, or even because everyone you know asks you if you've already done it. You should make love because you want it yourself, not because someone else wants you to.
   • Of course, if your partner really wants to sleep with you, you've probably already talked about it. But if you feel improper pressure to do something you're not ready for, then you should be wondering if your partner really cares about you and really respects you.
   • Just because all of your friends may have been having sex or may have gone to bed with their partners much earlier than you intend, doesn't mean their path has to be yours. You have to follow your own ideas about what is appropriate.
2. If it's your first time, be ready. Because, if you've never slept with someone before, you may be particularly nervous about determining when it's time to take the plunge. Yes, making love to someone for the first time is probably something you will remember for the rest of your life, and you probably never completely forget the first person you went to bed with. That said, you shouldn't be putting so much pressure on yourself to wait for that one perfect moment and expect it to be wonderfully beautiful; instead, you should do it when you feel the time is right, and not when you have been led to a bed with rose petals on it.
   • If it's your first time, then you should let your partner know, even if you're embarrassed about it. Your partner will understand that it is important to you and he will understand that you want to be on the same wavelength about it. If you want to lose your virginity because it means to you that you really care about the person you sleep with, then you have to make sure that the other person cares about you.
   • That said, if you feel like your virginity is a hindrance and you're ready to free yourself from it without it automatically meaning you've found your soul mate, that's okay too. You don't have to feel obligated to make the first time be incredibly meaningful. Because if you have that attitude then you can wait forever before you finally go to bed with someone for the first time.
3. Make sure your body is ready. This may seem obvious to men - if your penis is erect then you are ready to have sex. But for girls who are new to sex, they need to know that their bodies must be ready to move on before they get started. If you are a girl, you may be so nervous that you are not paying enough attention to your body; make sure you feel relaxed and that you are wet enough to have sex so that it is not too painful or that you are forcing it.
   • If you're a girl and your body isn't ready for penetration during sex, let your partner know so he can help you get ready.
   • If you are a girl and you are sleeping with someone for the first time, it can be painful even when you are ready, so be prepared for that, and be prepared to ask your partner to stop if it is too painful.
4. Make sure you follow your intuition. If your intuition tells you it's time to have sex with your partner and everything else that counts is okay, chances are you're ready. On the other hand, if you think you should go to bed with your partner but it gives you a bad feeling in your stomach or otherwise the feeling that it is not right when you think about making love or almost making love with your partner, follow your gut . Your intuition is more important than a timeline, than things your partner says, or any ideas you may have about what you "should" do, and if you feel like it's not right then it probably really is. .
   • You may not realize it doesn't feel right until you are almost making out with your partner. If you go further and further sexually, you may feel like you want to withdraw; you have the right to listen to those feelings.
5. Make sure you are both sober. It goes without saying that you and your partner are sober when you first go to bed. Whether it's your first time making out, or it's your first time making out with your partner, it's important that you are sober so that your mind is clear. It is important to understand that it is illegal to have sex with anyone under the age of 16, so make sure you know your partner's age before moving on and do not have sex if you are not yet 16 years old.
   • While you may feel that being drunk helps to control your nerves about losing virginity, it only diminishes your ability to properly judge the situation and only makes the whole experience less enjoyable. and that you remember the experience less well.
6. Make sure your mind and body are sending you the same message. You may feel that physical urge to have sex with your partner and you may feel like you can't stop that urge. But, even though your body screams "yes!"; if your mind is whispering "maybe ..." then maybe you should stop anyway until you feel completely like you've thought it through very well. While you can have a passionate experience if you let the moment take you, you don't want to feel confused or disappointed once it is over because you have listened to your body and not your mind.
   • To really listen to your mind, you need to think about making love to your partner when he's not around. Then your judgment will not be influenced by your physical cravings, and then you can think more objectively about the situation.

Method 3 of 3: Learning about sex

1. Learn about sex. Before sleeping with your partner, it is important that you know about pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), contraceptives, the age at which it is legal to sleep with someone, and any other important aspects of the sexual experience . If you do not know how condoms, the pill, an IUD, or other contraceptives work, it is important that you get information from your doctor or reliable sources on the internet. It can give you confidence if you have some knowledge on the subject before you even feel the need to make love to someone.
   • Condoms are said to be 98% safe when used properly, so it is important that you and your partner both know how to use them, especially if it is your only method of contraception.
   • If you take the pill, know that it will not protect you against STIs and that you and your partner should be tested for this before going to bed.
   • Do not think that a girl cannot get pregnant at a certain time of the month, especially if you are not using contraception. You must always be prepared.
2. Make sure you and your partner are prepared and on the same page. In addition to knowledge about contraceptives, you need to make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to STI protection. If you would like a condom to be used during sex, make sure your partner is 100% behind this and that he will not try to persuade you to “feel better” without a condom. While it may be a little uncomfortable to talk about it before sex, it's preferable to having an argument during sex because you can't agree on what to use, if any.
   • A condom during oral sex also protects against STIs. This is something you should discuss with each other beforehand. If you are planning to have oral sex for the first time, it is important that you read about it as well.
3. Talk to others if you want more advice. If you've read enough but still feel unsure about sex, you can talk to a close friend, a sibling, or even an aunt or uncle so they can give you more advice. You may learn something new and feel less insecure once you know that everyone has fears and insecurities when it comes to sex. Just take the time to sit down with people you care about and trust and discuss your questions and uncertainties with them.
   • While these people can take some of your worries away and give you helpful advice, they can't tell you when it's time for you to sleep with someone. Because that's something only you know.
4. Make sure you can say "no" at any time. Because you may think that once you've told your partner you want to have sex with him, you should go through with it, even if you have doubts about it right before the time comes - or even once it starts. You can say "no" at any time, and you should never feel pressured to keep it up until it's over once you've committed to doing it. Your partner should be respectful of your choices, and you should care more about what you really want than to please your partner.
   • You have the right to stop making love at any time; as soon as you want to stop, the other person must really stop according to the law.
5. Make sure your expectations are not too high. Making love can be one of the most incredible - and one of the strangest - experiences in your life. While you shouldn't expect it to be awful, it is recommended that you have realistic expectations of your partner and yourself, especially if you've never made love to someone. If you're ready to sleep with your partner, you'll eventually find a pace and way that you're comfortable with. If you assume that, you will avoid not expecting that that first time will be fantastic, because then you run the risk of being disappointed.
   • Instead, you can see it as an opportunity to take the physical experiences you share with your partner to the next level. Be realistic about what's going to happen and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Warnings

• No contraceptive other than abstinence works 100%, so make sure you are both aware of STIs and pregnancy.