Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Knowing yourself
• Part 2 of 3: Discover what you are unique in
• Part 3 of 3: Being different in practice
• Tips
• Warnings

There are already enough people who prefer to simply blend in with the crowd. If instead you want to be a leader and stand out from the crowd, this is the article for you. It is a great feeling to know that you are original and unique.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Knowing yourself

1. Know you are unique. If you are just starting out, be aware that you are different from everyone else in the world to begin with. Of course, certain people are more unique than others, but each of us has a unique set of experiences and traits that make us different from all other people on Earth. No one else has the same brain as you, no one has the same thoughts, and no one reacts to things the same way you do. You are different simply because you are human.
   • You don't have much to put on labels. Even trying to be different is not something that is really achievable. You only have to look at a different culture to see that people automatically act differently by nature. Therefore, try to accept that you are unique in itself and work with yourself. Who are you really?
2. Find yourself and be yourself. To be as different as you can possibly be, you have to be yourself - not a copy of someone else. If you don't know who you are, that process can be pretty scary. In order to be yourself, you have to find yourself. Do you know what you like? Do you know who you are? Who are you when no one else is around?
   • In addition, it is important that you love yourself. If you don't feel comfortable with who you are, you will inevitably try to be someone else - or at least try to be someone you are not just to please others.
3. Spend some time alone. Today it has become normal to be inundated with messages or other stimuli all the time - whether it comes from a screen or the people around us. To really get to who you are and what makes you different, try spending some time alone. Break contact with everything and everyone for a moment. What are you left with? Meditate on what is important to you.
   • We are told all the time what clothes to wear, what to eat, what to say, what to look like, how to behave, what to read, what to look at ... you know what we mean. Leave yourself alone for a moment and you will find that you are suddenly not led by anything at all. It will feel weird sitting there thinking about what you wouldn't miss if you never had to wear / eat / say / do / read / see certain things again. Try to think about which aspects of your environment are forced on you and which aspects you really choose yourself.
4. Know what you want. Make it really clear to yourself that you want to be different. It could also be that you belong to a group of friends with whom you do not really fit and that you are simply misinterpreting that little voice in your head. What exactly does being different actually mean to you?
   • What is normal for you? When do you think people are all "the same"? Everyone interprets in a, well, different way what exactly is "different". Is it what they look like? How they behave? To talk? What ideals do they have?
5. Know how you want to be different. Once you have determined what "being different" means to you, you will have to determine how you want to achieve it. If you're part of a group of friends who only eat Swedish muesli bars and dress in pink every Wednesday, how would you like to react on your own? Do you want to become a whiz kid or do you just want to be different by wearing purple? You could be different in many different ways.

Part 2 of 3: Discover what you are unique in

1. Study your environment. A Japanese who shakes hands in greeting instead of bowing will be different within his own culture, but will not immediately stand out in the Western world. Reading Multatuli for fun will be normal in some circles, while in others the Viva is considered "normal." To know how you can be different, you have to take your environment into account. Try to describe your own environment with three words. Then ask yourself what the opposite is.
   • Let's take the American movie "Mean Girls" as an example, in which a group of bitchy girls takes center stage. With which three words could you describe the atmosphere in that film? Shallow. Vain. And, it won't surprise you, mean. Do you want to be different from those plastic barbies? Then you should think more deeply about things, not worry about looks, and you should be nice. On the other hand, being nice in other circles is completely normal (and expected of you). What does your circle look like?
2. Observe. Take a step back from your surroundings and just look at it. How do people behave? How do they interact (with their own friends, with strangers, with the cashiers in stores, with their love partners)? What are their collective opinions? How do they dress? If you were to walk in unexpectedly, how could you prevent yourself from fitting in?
   • There is certainly a spectrum of far-reaching nature here. With something as simple as wearing a bright color, you could really stand out from the crowd on a drizzly day in a cafe.
   • You could make small changes in your behavior - when the waitress at the cafe asks you what you want to order, instead of just ordering, you could say, "Hmm. I don't know yet. How was your day?"
   • You could also do it the wrong way - make a noise, throw things around, dance on the tables - that is without a doubt different from the generally accepted norm, but all you will achieve with it is likely to tent is thrown out.
3. Do what you like. If you are honest, you will always like a few things that are fashionable and a few other things that are not. And that's fine! As long as you do what you like, you will end up with a combination that is unique to you. You may like baking, jujitsu, and scouring second-hand clothing stores. If you like that, it will feel good too.
   • You shouldn't care what others think or do. Would you like to sing songs by Jekyll & Hyde in German in a karaoke bar? Awesome. To do! Do you really want to buy that bag from Abercrombie & Fitch? Well, if you think that makes you happy, you should do it. Just make sure you don't get someone else to tell you to buy it!
4. Try out new things. We are naturally raised as part of a group. That's why we're exposed all the time to things that other people around us have already approved. Those things are good - they can make us open up to things that we're not even aware of - but it's also important that you try out things that are completely new to you and not yet supported by others. How else can you find out what you like and what you don't?
5. Color outside the lines. From a very young age we are brainwashed in a way so that we fit into the community. We wear clothes, eat with cutlery, go to school, do things that suit our gender, and so on. It is difficult to realize that this is a pattern that you can best oppose. There are lines where it is best to color outside. Most of us just haven't thought of that yet.
   • Think about how you would behave if you were wearing a dinosaur suit. No one can see your face or your body and you are dressed as dinosaur. Suddenly you storm into all kinds of rooms, waving your thin arms and scaring people, just because you can. You could also do this in real life. You just choose not to. ...Why?
6. Be absurd. As if the dinosaur suit example wasn't crazy enough, instead of simply coloring outside the lines, you don't even have to use your imaginary crayons on the metaphorical paper. If you want to walk around the school wearing headphones while dancing as if you were in a Selena Gomez video clip, then then you can. If you want to wear a hat in the shape of the province of Groningen, if you can find it, and stand outside at the supermarket all night, then you can. That's not to say it's a good idea, but it could be.
   • Some people will strongly disapprove of the dinosaur suits, the dancing in public, and the oddly shaped hats. Know that if you want to start crossing boundaries and testing how far you can go, you are most likely going to face protests. If you can deal with such resistance, then go for it. But be aware that a lot of people turn their noses at what is "abnormal".

Part 3 of 3: Being different in practice

1. Shake hands with your enemies. And by this we mean that you have to treat people differently than we expect. In a positive way, of course! And who knows what it will bring you - who knows, the next time you deal with a police officer, shake his hand, ask him about himself, and see if you can't get out of that ticket! Chances are you will succeed.
   • One way you'll be different is by being nice to everyone. How many people do you know who are literally nice to everyone? Probably not much. It means hard work! Ultimately, we all judge the people around us and feel almost automatically drawn to a certain type of people. Instead, be nice to the people you might not be nice to at first. You will be different and also learn a lot!
2. Wear what you like. We get caught all too easily in what society tells us looks good and is attractive. While it's impossible to avoid that completely (unless you make all of your clothes yourself), you can use fashion as a kind of café - take what you want and leave the rest. Do you like a particular fashion trend? Fine. Would you rather show off a pair of 1972 rain boots than a pair of Uggs? Also excellent - maybe your mom still has a few left in the closet.
3. Avoid getting caught up in games. It is difficult to give examples of things that everyone is doing. For example, you could say, "listen to non-popular music," but there are a lot of people who do that. Yet there is one thing that, on the whole, is something that gets everyone excited and that is drama. We all love that. If you want to be different avoid it! Make sure it is not part of your life. And you shouldn't start with it anyway!
   • Because of the way people interact, we all end up playing a lot of games. A friend asks us if we are angry and we say no so as not to cause problems, although we are angry. We do things to get people's attention, we mislead people, we apply strategies to get what we want, even if they aren't actually that likeable. If you recognize those tendencies, try to resist them.Being honest and genuine is a quality you can be proud of and it is more unique than it should be.
4. Say what everyone else thinks. One of the games people play is not saying what they mean. We are afraid of standing out, making noise, hurting someone, or just going off. There will be times when a whole room full of people thinks something when no one says it. The term "spinning around the bush" does not exist for nothing! Make sure you are that mess that no one can ignore!
   • Most people are trapped in what they look like or what impression they make on others, rather than giving in to what they really want. They are too concerned with thinking about others and not be with oneself to really act naturally. If you find yourself not doing something because there are others around, just do it anyway! (As long as it's legal, of course!)
5. Don't bother trying to stand out. You may not have noticed it yet, but in everything above there is a pattern of how other people's opinions shouldn't really matter. Since most people like to impress others and are always concerned with how they are perceived by others, you should try not to. We often make more of an impression when we don't try to impress!
   • You know they say love comes to you when you stop looking for it? And it works a bit like that indeed. Instead of showing the world a certain image, it's best to just show yourself. That is much better and so much more unique.
6. Make sure you know that the world works with contradictions. Nothing is actually what it appears to be. There are so many people trying to be different that they are all the same in the end! Being calm can mean that when you talk, people hear you speak louder. If you're not trying to get that guy or girl's attention, then he or she will be attracted to you. So with to attempt to be different you may not achieve anything at all.
   • For example, walking into a cafe in a squirrel suit (or in a dinosaur costume) is not necessarily different. In a way you're saying, "Look at me!" just like you do if you wear a short skirt and high heels. So when you're trying to be different again, ask yourself what you're actually doing. Maybe it isn't quite the opposite?
7. Know that you will offend people. Society is not so good at accepting things that are not fashionable. People are praised for being handsome and going with fashion - few people are praised for pushing their boundaries and coloring outside the lines. Those people may not welcome you with open arms. And that doesn't matter at all! You don't need them. But you have to know that it is going to happen. That way you will be prepared when it happens.
   • Aristotle once said: "To avoid criticism you should say nothing, do nothing and be nothing." He hit the nail on the head with that. In any case, you will receive criticism if you do not meet the standard in any way. Think of it as a positive! If you are criticized it means that you are doing something. You will be noticed. You expose people to new things. Awesome! You are different.

Tips

• Remember that discovering yourself is an ongoing process. Who you are when you are 15 is not the same person you are when you are 22, at 49, or at 97! Our needs and interests change as we age. Sometimes things that used to be important to us don't seem to matter anymore. Wisdom replaces fussy ambitions as we learn to grow beyond ourselves.
• Make sure you are very open-minded, or at least try to broaden your outlook as much as possible. Learn to view the world from different perspectives (and they don't even have to be all human perspectives). Do not be afraid of those who question your standards and values.
• Try to be at peace with yourself. Being surprised when people don't appreciate the fact that you are different is nothing more than a stupidity due to inattention on your part. If you are not willing to endure some puzzled looks or comments, you will have no choice but to keep your newly begun strangeness to yourself.
• Do what you want and don't think too much about what other people will say about it.
• Don't be arrogant towards people who are no different. Many of them really support their clothing style and really like the television programs they watch. Remember that popular things are popular for a reason. Don't disapprove them because you or someone else might really like them. You might be amazed at the wit of "The O.C." or fall completely for the Plain White T's.

Warnings

• Don't put a label on yourself. Just because you feel like a so-called "urban gangsta" doesn't mean you can't love ballet.
• Remember, being weird isn't necessarily better than being "normal." Everyone is alien in their own way, even if they still live up to the norms of society.
• Remember, if you ask someone else how you could be different, you miss the point of what you are trying to achieve. By this we mean that if you ask someone how you could be different, you will NOT be different because in almost all cases the other person will say things to you that he or she would do to be different. That's why it's nearly impossible to ask someone else what you need to do to be different, because you can be sure that he or she will tell you how to be like him or her. Quite a paradoxical brain teaser, isn't it?
• Being arbitrary for the purpose of being different is often only repugnant and, again, very superficial. It will not always help you to see the world in a new and different way.