Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 4: What is separation anxiety?
• Method 2 of 4: Banish negative thoughts
• Method 3 of 4: Try coping techniques for relaxation
• Method 4 of 4: Use exposure therapy
• Tips

Separation Anxiety (Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder) is an anxiety disorder that can cause major social and occupational problems. Separation anxiety involves an inordinate fear of being abandoned by the people you are attached to. Not only children, but also adults can be affected by this psychological disorder. The fear can express itself in different ways. For example, you can be quite upset when you are not at home or around the people you are attached to. The disorder can negatively impact the overall quality of your life and can affect the lives of your loved ones as well. However, you can control these feelings of fear by overcoming your negative thoughts and using different coping techniques ("coping" is a term from psychology and means "dealing with").

To step

Method 1 of 4: What is separation anxiety?

1. Learn about the symptoms of separation anxiety. If you know or suspect that you have separation anxiety, it is helpful to know what symptoms are associated with this disorder. When you are able to recognize the symptoms, you can begin to see that your anxiety is a result of the disorder, rather than a result of reality. Discuss the separation anxiety situation with your doctor if you observe any of the following symptoms:
   • Overly affectionate behavior
   • Being very upset when you are not at home or when you leave home
   • Excessive anxiety and fear when you are not around people you are attached to
   • Panic attacks, crying and severe mood swings
   • Refuse to be alone or without your loved one
   • Excessive concern that something will happen to people you are attached to
   • Physical complaints associated with the above symptoms, including: headache, nausea and stomach pain
2. Look for a support or peer support group. Attending meetings of a support or peer support group allows you to come into contact with people who suffer from the same or a similar disorder. It can be nice to share your experiences with other members of the support or fellowship group and also hear their stories. In particular, the information about how the different members deal with their disorder can be very helpful to you.
   • Check with your doctor if he or she is familiar with support or peer support groups in your area. You could also search for such groups yourself using the internet.
3. Consider talking to a therapist. A therapist may be able to help you find a way to deal with your concerns and fears. The therapist may also be able to provide you with techniques you can use to calm yourself when you experience feelings of over-anxiety about the absence of your loved one.
   • You can ask your doctor for a recommendation for a therapist who specializes in the treatment of separation anxiety.

Method 2 of 4: Banish negative thoughts

1. Identify your negative thoughts. When you are not in the company of your loved one, try to identify negative thoughts, assumptions, and beliefs that are running through your mind. Put them on paper or share them with someone else, such as a therapist or a close friend. When you understand the negative thoughts you can expect, this knowledge may help you to make such thoughts manageable.
   • Keeping a journal can make recording your thoughts and feelings a habit.
2. Try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you have identified these negative thoughts, replace them with positive thoughts or refute the negativity you are feeling. Controlling your negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones may help you calm down.
   • For example, if your loved one leaves you temporarily alone and you think, “I'll never see her again,” replace this negative thought with something like, “I'll see her again when she comes home from work. We then have dinner together and then watch a nice movie. ”
   • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a treatment plan for depression and / or anxiety that may help you replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Ask your doctor or therapist about the options regarding a treatment plan.
3. Look for distractions so that negative thoughts are less overpowering. When you start to feel anxious and negative thoughts start to develop, the feeling of fear will only increase. Don't dwell on negative thoughts by distracting yourself in one of the following ways:
   • Do a fun activity, such as a hobby that you enjoy a lot
   • Focus your attention on completing certain activities or household chores
   • Go for a walk or exercise
   • Visit a place where you normally enjoy, such as a museum or the cinema

Method 3 of 4: Try coping techniques for relaxation

1. Use breathing techniques to calm yourself. Practicing breathing techniques can be a great way to calm yourself when you are dealing with feelings of anxiety. Belly breathing is one way to release tension. When you feel that feelings of anxiety are starting to develop, you could use the following technique:
   • Inhale slowly through your nose for five seconds.
   • Focus on listening to feel the flow of the air as you breathe.
   • Place your hand on your chest and feel your lungs fill with oxygen as you breathe.
2. Try meditation. Like abdominal breathing, meditation is also a way to calm yourself by focusing on your breathing and clearing your mind.
   • Assume a comfortable sitting position. If you sit on the floor, a cushion or mat can provide more comfort.
   • Start with some breathing exercises.
   • Focus your attention on your breathing. Gently try to refocus your attention on your breath if your thoughts have wandered slightly.
   • Do not judge or dwell on thoughts that haunt your mind.
   • Try to meditate for at least five minutes every day. As meditation becomes more and more a habit, you could gradually increase the duration of the sessions.
3. Apply visualization techniques to relax. The idea is that you think of a place, preferably one that you are familiar with, that naturally has a calming effect on you. With this technique you can reduce feelings of anxiety. Avoid being distracted by a television, computer, etc. and try to use the following technique when feelings of anxiety develop at the thought of leaving home or being separated from your loved one:
   • First, start with breathing exercises and meditation for a few minutes.
   • Close your eyes and start imagining a place or environment that has a calm and relaxing effect on you. Imagine, for example, that you are at that moment in a beautiful piece of nature, where the sun is shining and that you are surrounded by singing birds.
   • Use your imagination to further explore the place you just visualized. Which birds do you see? How do the flowers smell? How does the grass feel between your fingers?
   • When you feel relaxed and feel that you are done with the visualization technique, you can open your eyes again.

Method 4 of 4: Use exposure therapy

1. Ask your therapist whether exposure therapy might be right for you. During this form of therapy, the person is confronted with his or her fear, but in a controlled and also safe way. In the case of separation anxiety, you will face your fear of being separated from the people you are attached to. This is done by gradually exposing yourself to your fear by putting you in a situation that triggers this fear, such as leaving home or being temporarily separated from the people you are attached to for a short period of time.
   • A psychologist or trained therapist can develop a specific exposure therapy program that may help you overcome your anxiety disorder.
2. Apply exposure therapy. If your doctor or therapist has determined that exposure therapy is an appropriate treatment method for you, and you also feel that you are ready, there are several techniques you can apply. For example, you could start by thinking about being away from home or being separated from your loved ones, and then describe how you feel about these thoughts. At a later stage, you could actually leave home or be separated from your loved ones for periods that get a little longer and then discuss how you felt under these circumstances.
   • Even relatively short exposure therapy treatments (three to six sessions) can help reduce feelings of anxiety.
3. Ask your loved one to help you apply exposure therapy. If your therapist agrees, ask your loved one to help you, as his or her help can make therapy easier. To begin with, you might ask if your loved one can move into another room while you practice self-calming techniques, such as breathing exercises or banishing anxious thoughts.
   • You could gradually increase the distance and time that you and your loved one spend separated.

Tips

• Medicines may also be available to treat separation anxiety. However, research is still being done on which drugs are actually the most effective for treating this anxiety disorder. Check with your doctor if you are eligible for medication to treat your separation anxiety.