Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Decide what kind of affirmations to use
• Part 2 of 2: Using affirmations
• Tips
• Warnings

Self-directed affirmations are positive statements or self-scripts that can condition the subconscious mind to help develop a more positive self-image. Affirmations can help prevent and change behaviors that can harm yourself and others or achieve goals. They can also help reverse damage caused by negative scripts or those things that we repeatedly tell ourselves (or that others want us to believe repeatedly) that contribute to a negative self-image. Fasteners are easy to make and use, but you need persistence to make them work.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Decide what kind of affirmations to use

1. Think about your positive qualities. We hardly ever focus on those things about ourselves that we are really satisfied with, and tend to worry about those things that we would like to change. Some sort of inventory can help break this negative spiral, and using these affirmations to learn to appreciate yourself more can give you the confidence to accept the affirmations that tell you what kind of person you want to become.
   • Balance yourself by listing your best qualities, skills or other attributes: Do you look beautiful? Write it down. Are you a hard worker? Write it down.
   • Write down each quality in a short sentence, such as, "I am beautiful" or "I am generous."

   These statements are affirmations of who you are.

2. Think about which negative scripts you want to counter, or which positive goals you want to achieve. Affirmations can be very useful to combat a negative way of looking at yourself that you have developed about for example your appearance, abilities or your potential (we call this "counter-scripts" from now on). Affirmations can also help you achieve specific goals, such as losing weight or quitting smoking. Make a list of goals you want to achieve or harmful thoughts you harbor about yourself and would like to change.

Part 2 of 2: Using affirmations

1. Prioritize the things you want to work on. You may discover that you have a lot of goals you want to achieve or that you need a lot of counter scripts. Either way, it's better to focus on a few affirmations at a time, so pick the ones that are most important to you or most urgent and work on them first. Once you see improvements in those areas or have achieved certain goals, you can develop new affirmations for the other items on your list. You can use as many affirmations as you want and when you want, but start with no more than five.
2. Write down your affirmations. In the first step you got a lot of practice in coming up with affirmations based on positive qualities in the now. You can use these as counter scripts, or you can add other affirmations to influence your behavior in the future. The affirmations you will use to influence the future should be in the same form as those you used in a previous step. Start with "I" again and be short and positive. There are two types of future-oriented affirmations that you can use to work toward goals:
   • "I can" statements: Write a statement stating that you can achieve your goal (s). For example, if you want to quit smoking, a statement like "I can quit smoking," is a good start. By the way, many experts recommend avoiding statements with a negative connotation so that a better sentence could be "I can free myself from smoking," or "I can become smoke-free."
   • "I will" statements: Write a statement indicating that you will be using your ability to achieve your goal today. So after the previous example, you can say, "I'm going to be smoke-free today," or "I smoke fewer cigarettes today than yesterday." Again, the affirmation should be positive and simply state what you are doing today to achieve your long-term goals.
3. Let the different affirmations work together and reinforce each other. Which of the positive traits you identified in the previous step can help you achieve your other goals? For example, if you quit smoking, you may need willpower or courage, or you may need to think about being beautiful or caring for your family. Select two or three of these affirmations to support your purposeful affirmations.
4. Make your affirmations visible so that you can use them. Repetition is key to making affirmations effective. You need to think about your affirmations correctly several times a day, every day. There are several ways to do this:
   • Make it a habit to write down your affirmations in a journal or log every morning when you get up and before you go to sleep. At those times, repeat the affirmations to yourself. Ideally, the affirmations should be the first thing you think of when you get up and the last thing you think of when you go to bed.
   • Meditate on your affirmations. Close your eyes, shut out the rest of the world, and think about your affirmations. Don't just say and repeat the words out loud, but also think about what they mean to you; think about the future and try to feel the emotions that the affirmations evoke.
   • Leave reminders all over your house. Use 3X5 business cards or sticky notes to write down your affirmations (1 per card). Make several of these cards for each affirmation and leave the cards around where you often sit and see them: place them on the kitchen table, your desk, the drawer of a closet, or stick it on your computer. Every time you see a card you read it and think about what it means to you.
   • Carry your affirmations with you everywhere. Make a list of affirmations and put them in your wallet or purse. If you need a boost, or you find yourself deviating from your goals, grab and read your affirmations.
5. Continue to use your affirmations. The more you use this, the more your brain will accept it. If you want to achieve a short-term goal, use your affirmations until you reach them. If you simply want to use your affirmations as a counter script, use them for as long as you want.

Tips

• Affirmations can be combined with visualizations to increase the effectiveness of both. However, by visualizing your affirmations you make them. Use all your 5 senses for this.
• Connect positive feelings to your affirmations. Think about how reaching your goal will make you feel, or how good it feels to be very good at something. Emotions are the fuel that makes your affirmations more powerful.
• You could try making a password an affirmation. That way you will use it often. Just make sure it's not a password for something important.
• Ask a friend to use a version of your affirmations to you. For example, "Marianne, you eat so healthy. You look great." Self-affirmations are valuable precisely because they free you from depending on the appreciation of others, but that doesn't mean that affirmations from others can be as beneficial as their negative scripts are harmful.
• If you find it difficult to believe in affirmations, put "I choose to" before the affirmation. "I choose to achieve a healthy weight," for example, or, "I choose to gain weight easily and effortlessly."
• If you don't want people to find out about your affirmations, put them in discreet locations. But it remains important that you often sees them, otherwise it is of no use.
• Record your affirmations. When you listen to the playback, you better test whether you believe in it and then you can make the necessary adjustments.

Warnings

• If you find yourself just reciting the affirmations without focusing on their meaning, change the affirmations. The goals remain the same, of course, but changing the words of your affirmations can refresh the effect.
• Don't be discouraged if the affirmations don't seem to help at first. Rather, think about how you use them. Do you believe in the affirmative words? If you don't believe in your own affirmations, they are still effective, but it will take longer. If you are tired of waiting, make sure your goals are attainable and don't set the bar too high. Use the affirmations to counterbalance the negative scripts or to achieve small goals, and eventually you will develop the confidence to tackle bigger things.
• Don't let other people judge you. Some people have a very negative attitude and tend to say things like, “That's not possible at all! Don't let them take your enthusiasm down and don't listen.
• Affirmations are not a quick fix for all your problems. Do not expect miracles, especially after 1 or 2 tries. It has taken you years to accept negative thoughts about yourself; so it will also take time to change the way you think about yourself now.