Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Enjoy Others
• Part 2 of 3: New Encounters
• Part 3 of 3: Keep your connections
• Tips
• Warnings
• Sources & Citations

Anything can happen in life: you have moved to another city; during a long relationship - you forgot that you need to make new acquaintances; or, simply, you have difficulty communicating with people - in any case, we all need friends. It would seem, what could be easier than communicating with people like you? What should be as simple as breathing in air - looks such a daunting process, doesn't it? Thinking where to start? See Step 1.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Enjoy Others

1. 1 Be confident. Life is a revolving carousel of people. Strangers come and go, some stay and become friends. And you know what? This is fine. It is normal that people "come and go", it has nothing to do with you. If the people you meet don't become friends, that's okay. You are cool and you will be cool even if they are not around.
   • If you are worried when meeting new people, if you think how uncomfortable, not funny, and embarrassing your last comment about guinea pigs was, and what all these people will think of you now, do not worry. In general, people are friendly and usually too busy with their own thoughts to notice anything else. And if you never see them ... so what? There are billions of other people on Earth looking for new acquaintances.
2. 2 Be friendly. Hard? There is no other way - if you are not friendly, you will create the impression that you are not interested in new acquaintances and friends. Most people are easy to scare, and if you do not show interest, friendliness, and do not show by your appearance that you want to get to know another person better, they will not come knocking on your door. You have been taught this since childhood - you know what this is about.
   • Sometimes you have to pretend. You will have to pretend to be interested in your coworker's dog's stomach problems. Friends do that. They show interest, ask questions, they are happy to see friends in their lives, even when it comes to how "The ball does not digest pork at night."
3. 3 Smile. Greet people with a smile. This is a friendly gesture that attracts people, shows that you are interested in your surroundings, and want to get to know each other better. You don't want to approach a sullen stranger, do you? No. In front of new acquaintances - smile and be open, showing good nature.
   • Don't forget your open and friendly body language. When you find yourself among a group of people, try to hold on like the rest (without leaning on the door, for example). Don't cross your arms, don't chat on the phone. There are real people around you who deserve your attention.
4. 4 Get people to talk about themselves. Many of us think that poor language skills are the main communication problem at a time when listening to the other person is the most important thing.The best friends are the ones who know how to listen, not the ones who chat without interruption. In other words, if you're not giving speeches on stage, don't worry. You will be fine without it.
   • Two words: ask questions. Everyone loves to be asked, and that way, attention will not be focused on you. One-word answers (yes or no) are not very helpful in communication, as you immediately have to think about the next question. Ask interesting questions, answering which you will have to think.
5. 5 Remember the details of your conversation. How surprising when, during the next meeting, you ask about your birthday, mom, or any other detail that flashed through in the previous conversation. They will be very pleased to know that they have been listened to. Be that person! Winning friends is about making the other person feel good.
   • You can mark the details. If this is something from clothes, brought with you, or just next to them, ask! Who knows how this conversation might continue?
6. 6 Leave your shyness and insecurity at home. People are attracted to confidence. If you are grumpy, tenacious, too openly asking for friendship, interest in you will instantly disappear. You don't need to be morose, but remember that how others think of you is not the most important detail. Behave naturally. This is the best you can do.
   • Easier said than done, huh? Overcoming insecurity is nearly impossible for some people. It is very important to be positive. If insecurity is a serious problem for you, then try and focus on positive things.

Part 2 of 3: New Encounters

1. 1 Visit different places. To make new acquaintances after graduating from high school or university, you will have to spend a lot of time outside your home. The more time you spend away from home, the more interesting you become and the more interesting the people you meet. It is a fact.
   • All kinds of places. Even places that you never thought of visiting. Go to the cafe you've heard so much about. See an exhibition at an art gallery. Go see your little sister's handball game. At the end of the week, you will have accumulated so many stories that it will not be difficult for you to start a conversation.
2. 2 Do something. All the time. Do something non-stop. The more activities you find for yourself, the more interesting you will be, and the broader your horizons will be. You will see a lot, meet new people. And you'll be busy! Busy meeting new people, gain experience and feel life!
   • During new meetings, people will develop an opinion about you. It's your job to show people who you are. Are you a leggy blonde? Probably love magazines and fashion. Wow, are you also a shooter? Wow! Probably dressing in boutiques and listening to strange music? So, wait, do you still know German and learned French cuisine? That's lovely!.
3. 3 Use your connections. If you have one friend, then a whole social network of possible acquaintances is available to you. Your colleagues, neighbors, cousins ​​and brothers - they also have acquaintances whom you may meet. Use these connections! Invite them to dinner and have them bring friends. Attend concerts, festivals, and other events they attend. Make your connections work!
   • Thus, your acquaintances can become your friends. Ask a work colleague who likes red wine about their preferences, show you are interested in it. Do they have favorite wines? Talk to your neighbor about his garden - how are they doing? You won't notice when you go to wine tasting or your neighbor's book club. You may be asked to sit with your baby, but it's worth it!
4. 4 You don't know where you might get lucky. In other words, “Go to places you don't expect to make new friendships because“ that's where it happens. ”“ Your cousin's soccer game? Sure why not? Actors' club? Yes! If you visit such places often, you will see the same faces. And you already know that you have something in common.
5. 5 Accept invitations. Because, otherwise, they will stop inviting you. Even if you think, "Hmm, it will probably be boring," try to change your mind and go.The party may not be interesting, but there is a chance to meet interesting people who also did not like the party. If it's really boring, you can always leave.
   • If you’re sure you’re not going to have fun, you won’t have fun as a result. So, don't waste your time in places where you get bored. Instead, try to tune in to a fun atmosphere. And if it is boring all the same, then there is something to remember. What's the worst that could happen to you? You will not like the place and you will leave. What's good? It was great and you met interesting people. How do you like this alignment?
6. 6 Start first. We are all nervous when we meet new people. It is much easier to expect the first phrase from whom. If everyone waits - it turns out to be a dilemma - then who should start the conversation? People are generally kind and polite and will not be rude to you. The worst thing that can happen is a little conversation and they will go away. Don't worry about this.
   • In a way, it's scary to start a conversation first. To make things easier, think about the things around you. That's all you need! Are you queuing up for coffee? Talk about coffee, waiting, or the amount of caffeine. At the party? The host, the food, or anyone who stands out from the crowd. In such cases, it is very easy to start a conversation.
7. 7 Write down your contact information. Too often people meet, have fun at parties and even seem to want to be friends, but then it doesn't lead anywhere. You may need to take the first step in this direction. Ask for the name of VKontakte or Facebook, mobile number, or email address. And use it!
   • If you've had a good, interesting conversation, don't worry about being weird. A simple phrase, “Hey, what's your VKontakte / Facebook name?” Will do the trick. If you behave openly and good-naturedly, then you will not be denied.

Part 3 of 3: Keep your connections

1. 1 Be positive. When forming friendships, it is very important to remain positive and friendly. If not, people might think that you are a crybaby and you don't like anything. New friends are people you laugh with - don't cry ... at least in the beginning.
   • Empathy is a powerful tool. Having a common enemy is easy to make friends. Having common discontent is very easy to get close. In general, it's best to hold on to these things until the relationship gets stronger. Do not gossip from the very beginning, but when you get to know each other better, so that as a result, come to a common understanding. In the future, you might talk about your boss's bad habits.
2. 2 Ask for advice. How do you go from a few words at work to social gatherings on the weekend? Talk about something more serious. The level of trust must be "stretched". Talk about a small problem in your personal life and ask for advice. They will feel important and important to you, resulting in more sympathy in your direction. After that, maybe they will open to you!
   • We're talking about what kind of coffee machine to buy or where to go on vacation, maybe how to deal with an annoying neighbor - don't talk about too serious things. You need a conversation in which the other person feels confident. Anything they can suggest and help you with; you want them to feel useful and not fatigued.
3. 3 Work on your relationship. As well as maintaining a healthy body, also maintain your relationship. After a certain amount of time, you relax, you get used to the relationship - do not let it "dissolve" and fade away. Send any joke you see in text. Invite to coffee, a party, or some public event.
   • When your friend is in trouble, help him. One of the responsibilities of a good friend is sacrificing your own time. If your friend needs a favor, help him.If you need to "cry shoulder", do it! Make it clear that you care. Friendships are not always bright and sunny.
4. 4 Never be offended. The older we get, the more worries appear. People have personal lives. If your friendship doesn't follow the path of “Oh my God! We are the best friends in the world, ”that's okay. You have your own life to take care of. If you can do good for each other every now and then, that's great. That's all you need.
5. 5 Be a good friend. Friendships won't last long if you neglect the other person. When you get to know each other, try to be more than just friendliness - be a good friend: if you are considerate of others, people will want to spend time with you. And as a result, you will get what you deserve. In other words, if you want someone who trusts you, takes the time, makes your life better, you must do the same for them.
   • Being a good friend in good times is not bad, but being a good friend in times of crisis is much more important. If your friend is sick, you don't need to run to him with a cup of chicken soup; write a message, ask about his condition, ask if he needs anything, let me know that you are ready to help. And if the next time in your life there is a crisis, you may also be supported.

Tips

• If you are afraid of being rejected (like all of us!), Then follow this simple method - with a friendly look, approach the person and ask, "Good afternoon, please tell me what time it is?" Most often, if not always, they will be happy to advise you. From now on, you can continue, introduce yourself and start a conversation. If the conversation fails, do not be discouraged, you learned useful information for you (time!), Without feeling that you were rejected.
• Laugh, smile and joke! If you don't know the jokes, find it! Write “jokes” on Google and remember a couple. Smiling actually helps your physical, psychological and emotional tone a lot. This will help you be happy and open up to new acquaintances. People are attracted to happy, smiling people, so go ahead and lure them!
• Phrases that are good to use to start a conversation: "What are your hobbies?" "What kind of music / movies / TV shows do you like?" "Where do you work? What are you doing at work?" (maybe you will find common interests and talk about a topic that is so interesting to both of you!)
• Try to find common interests and hobbies. This way, your friendship will be long and exciting.
• To memorize the names of new acquaintances when you leave, say goodbye and add a name to this (for example, "Goodbye, Anna"). If you make a mistake with the name, you will be corrected and this time you will remember it for sure. If you want to remember more facts about the other person, take a piece of paper and a pen and write it down for future reference. Thus, you will not forget important details of your new friend, and in the future you will be able to talk about them.
• Write down the qualities that you have developed better than others, and carry this list with you so that in moments of uncertainty it is easy to remember your strengths. Better yet, carry a list with you, plus a list of things you are grateful for, and read it every morning before starting your day.
• In general, you may find yourself in a difficult situation when speaking. But don't be alarmed, it gives you a golden advantage, you can focus on others! It's a great move when people talk about themselves to get to know them better and, for the sake of a simple fact, people love to talk about themselves.
• When you are embarrassed (for example, went into the wrong room, or fell), laugh at yourself (and apologize). This will draw the attention of others (those who may already be laughing) that you are a simple and fun person. The audience will laugh with you, not at you.

Warnings

• Don't be rude. No matter how difficult it is, don't interrupt people.Especially with a new friend, it will show your disinterest in their affairs and thus alienate the other person.
• Don't criticize or blame. Nobody likes "assaults" (especially at the first meeting)!
• Don't brag. Others won't like hearing about your bank account or home on the islands! You can gradually present these details, but initially, stories about your wealth will be perceived as bragging and, next time, they are unlikely to talk to you. (Worst case: they'll get jealous, and you might lose a new friend!)

Sources & Citations

• http://theweek.com/article/index/253693/how-to-make-people-like-you-6-science-based-conversation-hacks
• http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201107/get-anyone-you-instantly-guaranteed-1
• http://www.succeedsocially.com/sociallife
• http://www.helpguide.org/mental/how-to-make-friends.htm
• http://jezebel.com/how-to-make-friends-when-youre-old-484680931