How to deal with your friend's encounter with the object of your feelings

Author: Gregory Harris
Date Of Creation: 9 August 2021
Update Date: 1 July 2024
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Content

If you really like someone, you may have confided in a close friend, or you may not have told anyone about your feelings. But all the same, because the person for whom you are crazy ... is now dating this very friend.

What to do?

Steps

  1. 1 Try to understand why they are together. Because your friend (girlfriend) really Like the person you are in love with? Or do they have a more down-to-earth relationship? Or maybe your friend did this to hurt you?
  2. 2 Understand your reaction to this. You will definitely be jealous and worried for a while. Trust will also be problematic. Decide firmly that not let negative emotions take over. This can be especially difficult during adolescence. Don't be afraid to ask someone you trust for help. fully! Ideally, with a parent, a psychologist, or a close adult friend.
  3. 3 Decide if you want to keep the friendship. If you want to remain friends with the person who is dating your love, you need to act immediately. Analyze this friendship. Did your prospective friend act this way with the intention of hurting you? Did he or she know about your feelings? There are many serious points to consider here. If you decide to end your friendship permanently, you need to think about how to do it.
  4. 4 Start to heal. The good old treatment has not hurt anyone yet, but helping has helped! Speak out to someone you trust completely. Just lay out everything that hurts. You can do this by writing to someone you are angry with, or by writing a song about your feelings. Poems help a lot too. Yes, a simple trick - to bang into a pillow - can work wonders. After all, love yourself. The fact that you don't have a relationship with someone NEVER means that you are worthless. If nothing is tied between you and the person you are in love with, so what? It's worse for him that he missed you! And if your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't respect your feelings, well, you can only sympathize with the one with whom he or she is now together!
  5. 5 Fill the void. Whether you decide to break up with a friend or not, you still have to lose someone who is dear to you.Either you permanently lose the so-called friendship, or you just have to step back from the person you like. This pain will leave you empty. And you need to find something that will fill it up and make you feel good again. You can learn to play a musical instrument, volunteer, or start exercising. Find what brings exactly to you joy. You are too good to get hung up on other people's relationships!
  6. 6 Move on. Go out and meet new people. Go to rest on Friday evening in the company of good acquaintances (not with the object of your feelings and thus a friend / girlfriend, here you need to change your social circle). And forbid yourself to think about this person. (It will take a while, of course, but don't worry. You CAN do it!) Get out of sight allthat reminds of him. This is a painful but absolutely necessary step. You are too good to stop over such things. Move on, keep yourself busy with something interesting, and soon you will find yourself back to normal.

Tips

  • Find real friends to get through this.
  • If you break up with a friend, it must be forever... Because it’s unhealthy to break up and restore relationships again! Remember: you have come to the conclusion that this will be the best solution, so be consistent.
  • Understand: you only have one life. People come and go, so don't take these things too personally. There is no need to encourage your suffering. Your feelings for this person will fade away, and wake up already for another. Do not cripple your soul over a temporary situation.
  • Once your friend (girlfriend) began dating the object of your feelings, this does not mean that you can do something behind him (her). Remember: in life, minus for minus does not give a plus!
  • Don't mourn what happened, just move forward with your life!
  • Volunteering is a great idea! It will keep you occupied, and besides, it is altruistic and will make you feel so much better.

Warnings

  • While depression and anger are perfectly normal in these situations, thoughts of suicide or violence are not at all! If you have them, seek professional help immediately!
  • Don't give them any advice. If they break up and begin to ponder the reasons, they will blame you, and then you can lose both of them.