Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Observe Behavior
• Part 2 of 3: Analyze your interactions
• Part 3 of 3: Use Personal Characteristics and References

When looking for new employees or meeting new people, it is difficult to know which people you can trust. If at first glance the person seemed pleasant to you, it is important to remember that the first impression is often mistaken or due to a lack of information. To correctly determine the conscientiousness of a person on a personal or professional level, it is required to observe his behavior and obtain evidence of his personal qualities in the form of recommendations, references and characteristics.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Observe Behavior

1. 1 Watch your eyes. Many believe that the level of truthfulness of a person's words can be understood by the direction of his gaze: in the case of truth, he will look up to the right, and in the case of deception, to the left up. Alas, studies have not found support for this hypothesis. In addition, eye contact does not mean that the person is telling the truth. Not all liars look away at deceptive phrases. However, you can follow the pupils of the interlocutor: if he is not telling the truth, then usually the pupils of a person enlarge due to concentration and tension.
   • Liars and honest people alike are likely to look away when a difficult question is asked, since it takes concentration to answer. Sometimes cheaters look away only for a short moment, while others need more time to think about the answer.
   • Eye contact cannot be considered the only measure of sincerity, but a person who does not hesitate to look in the eyes is often a good conversationalist and is not afraid to show his own vulnerability.
2. 2 Notice body language. If you want to understand a person's level of trustworthiness, then follow their gestures and body language, but consider these facts with a grain of salt: most of these signals indicate tension and excitement, which can indicate not only a lie, but also a feeling of inconvenience.
   • Most reliable people have open body language, with their arms at the sides of their torso, and the person facing you.If the interlocutor crosses his arms, hunches over or tries to turn to the side during a conversation, then such signals may indicate uncertainty, lack of interest and trust in you, or secrecy.
   • You should be alert if the other person's body language seems tense. He may be just agitated, but research shows that physical exertion is often a sign of lying.
   • On a sensitive question, the liar may purse his lips. Sometimes they fiddle with their hair, examine their nails, or use gestures directed in their direction.
3. 3 Rate the person's commitment. Reliable people often show up for work or dates on time to show how much they value other people's time. If a person is often late without warning or does not come to a meeting at all, then such actions may suggest that he does not always fulfill his obligations.
   • If a person often cancels plans or changes the time of a meeting without warning, then he hardly appreciates someone else's time and plans his own poorly. At work, this behavior can be not only unreliable, but also unprofessional. In an informal situation among friends, canceling plans shows that the person does not value your time and should not be counted on.

Part 2 of 3: Analyze your interactions

1. 1 Track how the person answers difficult or tricky questions. During the interview, often try to ask a difficult or tricky question, and then follow the answer. You don't have to act aggressively or try to confuse the other person. For example, it is better to focus on open-ended questions, the answers to which will require critical thinking and analysis. At the same time, a person should be able to give an honest and open answer to such a question.
   • For example, ask the person what was most difficult in their previous job, or ask what skills they lacked to successfully complete their job responsibilities. It takes time to answer such a question, but notice situations when the other person changes the subject or leaves the answer. This may indicate that he is silent about certain facts about his previous job, or does not want to analyze his role in the old position.
2. 2 Ask open-ended personal questions. An open question requires a detailed answer. You can use presets like “Could you tell us more about ...?” or “How would you rate…?”. If you suspect the person is lying, then ask general questions and gradually delve into the details. Pay attention to contradictions in details. The deceivers fail to stick to a single version, especially on a broad topic of conversation.
   • Cheaters often try to turn the conversation back to you. If after a few conversations you still do not know anything about the person or have told much more about yourself than your interlocutor, then this situation should alert you.
3. 3 Listen to the speech. Research shows that liars have some speech characteristics. Listen not only to the words, but also to how they are pronounced. Pay attention to these points:
   • Too few first person pronouns. Deceivers rarely use the pronoun "I". They are reluctant to take responsibility for their own behavior, try to distance themselves from their own stories, or do not want to show their interest.
   • Words expressing negative emotions. Researchers believe that liars can often feel anxious or guilty, which is reflected in their choice of words. They often use words that contain negative emotions like hate, useless, sad.
   • There are few exclusionary words. The words "except", "but", "apart from" indicate that a person makes a distinction between events that took place and that did not happen. Liars find it difficult to handle this task, which is why they rarely use words like this.
   • Unusual details. Cheaters rarely go into details when they talk about different situations.They can also provide evidence for their answers, even if no one has expressed doubts about their honesty.
4. 4 Pay attention to reciprocity. Reliable people respect reciprocity and shared ambition in conversation. If you constantly have to elicit important information, look for answers to your questions in a stream of words, and your requests for help remain unanswered, you should hardly trust such an interlocutor.
5. 5 Analyze the rate of events. Developing a relationship too quickly may indicate that the person is pressuring you. If he rushes things, constantly flatters or tries to force you to distance yourself from relatives and friends, so that “no one interferes with you,” then it is better not to trust such a person.
6. 6 Watch your attitude towards others. At times, unreliable people try too hard to convince you of their reliability, so it seems that everything is fine with you. Maintaining this visibility is not easy, so they will make mistakes. Watch how the person interacts with others. Does he gossip about employees? Is he rude to waiters in a restaurant? Loses your temper often? With such signs, you should be wary.

Part 3 of 3: Use Personal Characteristics and References

1. 1 Explore the pages on social networks. Hiding your real face is difficult, especially in the era of social media. Researchers have concluded that pages on networks like Facebook allow you to understand the essence of a person better than communication in real life. If in doubt, research the person's social media profiles. To what extent does the image in the virtual world coincide with your assessment after the meeting?
   • The researchers argue that most people tend to use “harmless lies,” especially on dating sites. So they try to show themselves in the most favorable light and therefore underestimate their weight and age or overestimate their height and income level. Most often, people lie when looking for a partner, but the scale of such deception is inferior to other social situations.
2. 2 Ask for at least three recommendations. If you are interviewing a job seeker or are considering hiring someone for the position, ask them for at least three references: two professional and one personal.
   • Please note if the person is unable to provide a recommendation immediately upon request, or at all. Oftentimes, a reliable candidate will happily provide a recommendation when asked, since they have no reason to worry.
   • Beware of candidates who provide personal referrals from relatives, family members, or close friends. The best personal recommendation can come from someone who is familiar with the applicant on a personal and professional level and is able to offer an unbiased characterization of his personality.
3. 3 Get a characterization of the person from the people listed in the guidelines. Once the recommendations are in your hands, contact each person listed in them and ask general questions to better understand the candidate's personality. Ask about how long the person has known the applicant and under what circumstances (personal, professional) the acquaintance took place. You can also ask why a person recommends a job seeker, and also ask for examples that will show why he would be the best choice.
   • Look out for derogatory reviews or information that could compromise a candidate's credibility. Contact the candidate and ask them to comment on such words so that they have an opportunity to explain themselves, especially if the person seems to be right for you.
4. 4 Request other personal information such as background checks and a list of previous employers. If you're still in doubt, try getting more personal information in the form of background checks and a list of previous employers. Most people are not afraid of data validation if they have nothing to hide.
   • A list of previous employers with contact details will show that the person has no reason to be ashamed of their professional qualities, so they do not mind your conversation with previous employers.
   • If you are concerned about a person you met at a public event, you can check your identity online.