Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Change Your Worldview
• Method 2 of 3: Expand Your Horizons
• Method 3 of 3: Maintain an open mind
• Tips
• Warnings

It's easy to judge others without even realizing it. For example, you might think you know how everyone should look, think, or behave. Often times, the belief that we’ve figured it out gives us a sense of comfort. However, judgment often gets in the way of making new friends or trying new things. Fortunately, you can learn to be less categorical by changing your worldview, broadening your horizons, and staying open-minded.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Change Your Worldview

1. 1 Develop positive thinking. Negative thoughts can lead to judgmental and categorical thinking. Try to notice the positive aspects in any situation, instead of dwelling on the negative. If you catch yourself with a negative thought, fight it. Then force yourself to highlight something positive.
   • It is still possible to remain realistic while maintaining a positive attitude. You don't have to ignore the negative aspects - just don't focus solely on them.
   • You're likely to have bad days, and that's okay. Forgive yourself on days when you feel depressed and negative.
   • Positive thinking can improve your life in many ways!
2. 2 Separate the individual actions of people from their personality. Sometimes people do things that we find disgusting (for example, petty theft of money or skipping the line). Yes, they may be doing the wrong thing, but it's important not to judge people by just one action. Most likely, they have positive qualities that you have not yet discerned.
   • Please note that their actions at this moment may be due to circumstances that you do not understand. For example, a person may have stolen lunch money because they haven't eaten for two days.
3. 3 Notice the moments when you start judging. Nip judgments in the bud by identifying what and when you are thinking about other people. When you catch yourself criticizing someone, ask yourself how these thoughts benefit you or that person. And then you better compliment him.
   • For example, you caught yourself thinking, "That girl would do well to lose some weight." Resist this thought by asking yourself why you care. Then say something cute based on your observations, for example, "You have a wonderful smile!"
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Klare Heston, LCSW

   
   
   Licensed Social Worker Claire Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. She has experience in educational counseling and clinical supervision, and received her Master's degree in Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also completed a two-year continuing education course at the Cleveland Institute of Gestalt Therapy and is certified in family therapy, supervision, mediation and trauma therapy.

   Klare Heston, LCSW
   Licensed social worker

   Is your judgment based on discomfort? Claire Heston, a licensed medical social worker, says: “A judgmental person is someone who feels uncomfortable around anyone who is different from him. He feels the need to give a negative assessment, based either on ignorance or arrogance, or on a particular trait or characteristic. "

   
   
4. 4 Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Each person is a unique person with their own talents, skills, character and life experience. In addition, people are influenced by the growing up period, including where they grew up, how they were treated and what their living conditions were like. As you get to know people better, try to imagine yourself in a similar position. Even if you might have gone the other way, acknowledge that they have the right to make their own decisions.
   • For example, a person you think is too annoying may have grown up without parental support. Likewise, someone who you think is not very educated may have prioritized making money to support their family.
5. 5 Find common interests. Whenever you feel the urge to judge someone who is different from you, look for similarities, not differences. We all have something in common because we are all human! This will help you see people in a positive light, not in a judgmental light.
   • Feel free to mention a few topics until you find something that you both can discuss or that both of you are interested in. It will help you realize that people are not that different from you.
6. 6 Be grateful for what you have. Appreciate the good things in your life, especially those that help you find your place. Pay tribute to friends, family, health, opportunities, relationships, and how you grew up. Realize that not everyone has had the same benefits as you, so it is unfair to judge people for living differently.
   • If you feel the urge to say something negative about the person, take a deep breath. Better wish everyone the same good luck that accompanied you in life.
7. 7 Show compassion. Compassion is the opposite of judgment. Instead of judging people and thinking badly of them, try to be empathetic and really try to imagine what the person is thinking or feeling.It will not be easy to get rid of negative thoughts about other people and wish for the best for them, but this transition is possible. Focus on wanting to give people what they need and help them instead of cursing them.
   • Compassion is also one of the keys to happiness. If you want to be a more compassionate person, then you must have positive feelings for people and the world.

Method 2 of 3: Expand Your Horizons

1. 1 Be curious. Curiosity is a great tool for overcoming judgmental thinking. When you usually think something judgmental, it is better to direct your curiosity to explore the aspect you do not understand. Allow yourself to see an opportunity for development, not something wrong or otherwise.
   • For example, you saw how a person climbs out of line in the cafeteria. Instead of labeling him as bad manners, consider whether he may have a tense meeting or health problems ahead of him.
2. 2 Get out of your comfort zone. Actively seek new experiences that are different from the activities you are used to. It can be intimidating at first, but it can also be a lot of fun! Invite a few friends to join you to try new things. Here are some ways to get out of your comfort zone:
   • use a different mode of transport to get to work;
   • try a new dish;
   • watch a movie with subtitles;
   • attend a religious service that does not fit your beliefs;
   • do something that scares you: stand on top of a tall building, climb a mountain, or eat raw fish.
3. 3 Spend time with different groups of people. Trying to connect with people who are very different from you will help you broaden your horizons. It doesn't matter if your friends differ from you in race, culture, religion, interests, social status, ideas, hobbies, career or anything else - being around people who come from different walks of life and have different views on life, you will get a better understanding of all the ideas that exist in the world.
   • You don't have to make friends with people from different walks of life, just make an effort to get to know people who are different from you. This experience will only allow you to develop.
   • Friendship with someone you always thought you had nothing in common can help you become more understanding and progressive.
   • Let your friends know that you would like to attend an event with them, if they are not against your company. Say, “It's so great that your family moved here from Japan. I am very interested in Japanese culture, so I would be grateful if you can let me know when the social events will take place. "
4. 4 Attend an event that usually doesn't appeal to you. Choose an activity that has always been considered boring, stupid, or uninteresting. Challenge yourself and get involved. Try to learn something new! By doing this once, you will meet a lot of different people, learn different points of view, and also, most likely, do something that will broaden your horizons in the future.
   • For example, attend a poetry night, a salsa dance lesson, or a political rally (negotiated with the city government).
   • Chat with other people at the event and try to get to know them better. If you feel like judging them, think about how you would feel if they judged you, especially given that you are a stranger in their environment.
5. 5 Travel as often as possible. Through travel, you will broaden your horizons and be able to find out how other people around the world live. If you are on a budget, you can visit a nearby town or take a weekend trip to the neighboring area. What is important is that you will see that there are endless ways to live your life and that there is no universal rule of what to say or do.
   • You can save money while traveling by staying in hostels.
   • Make it a goal to travel at least once a year. This will take you out of your comfort zone and give you the opportunity to interact with a variety of people.
   • You can also try the couch trip. Grab a travel guide to a distant destination and immerse yourself in reading. Go further by watching a movie about this place.
6. 6 Spend the day with a friend's family. This will help you see that other families' lifestyles differ significantly from yours. Even if you do a lot of things in the same way, chances are there are some differences as well. And that's okay!
   • Ask a friend to invite you to a special event, such as a cultural ceremony or religious service. However, don't force him to do this if he is uncomfortable or uncomfortable.
7. 7 Learn from every person you meet. Every person you meet has value in your life because all people come with lessons to learn from. Ask yourself what each person can convey to you - knowledge, skills, or a lesson about themselves.
   • For example, someone from another culture is more likely to share their lifestyle with you. Likewise, a person who has a talent for art can show you a new skill.
   • Share what you learn and do your bit too. Be proactive - open up and share your skills.
8. 8 Ask a lot of questions. This will help you better understand people and their origins. It will also help you deepen your understanding of different backgrounds, cultures and practices.
   • If you want to get to know a person for real, then you must learn more about his origins. Questions like this can be asked: Do you have brothers or sisters? Where are you from? What do you study? How do you make a living? What do you enjoy doing on the weekend?
   • Don't pressure the person to answer your questions. Better show your interest, and he will probably want to open up in front of you.

Method 3 of 3: Maintain an open mind

1. 1 Let go of the urge to always be right. Each person has their own views on how the world should work, and often these views are conflicting. It doesn't matter if you come from the resulting knowledge base or not, your values ​​will still shape your point of view. Other people are in a similar position, so acknowledge that your views may differ.
   • The next time you get into an argument, keep in mind that your opponent may also have an informed opinion.
   • Focus on sharing your point of view without trying to change people's minds.
   • Remember that most situations are complex, they cannot be judged by the criteria of "right" and "wrong" - gray has many shades.
2. 2 Form your own opinion. Set aside gossip and negative information that you hear about a person, culture, etc. Challenge assumptions before deciding on a specific person or group. Don't change your point of view because of false information.
   • Keep in mind that people have their own motives for sharing gossip or negative opinions. For example, a person may speak badly of someone out of jealousy, or they may share concerns about someone else's concept out of fear.
   • Think back to the moments when rumors were spread about you. Would you like people to judge you based on them?
3. 3 Don't judge people by their looks. Yes, people often dress to express themselves, but that doesn't mean their appearance can tell you everything you need to know about the person. Likewise, a wide variety of people are found in every way of life.
   • For example, don't assume that if a person has a lot of tattoos and piercings, then they cannot be doing serious work.
   • The next time you leave the house, examine yourself in the mirror. What will people think of you based on your appearance that day? How right or wrong will they be?
4. 4 Stop labeling people. Labels do not allow you to see the big picture. In fact, they limit our view of people. Try to look at each person as a person. Learn to see through a person's appearance or their environment, and focus on getting to know their individual history before drawing conclusions.
   • For example, do not label people as "goth", "nerd", "redneck" and so on.
5. 5 Refrain from judging people. Let people talk about themselves instead of making assumptions based on what you already know. You see only a small part of every person you meet, and if they catch your condemnation, they will shut out from you. Let your ideas about the person change as you get to know him better.
   • Accept people for who they are.
   • Would it be fair for a person to form an opinion of you based on a five-minute conversation? How much can a person learn about you in such a short period of time?
6. 6 Give people a second chance. Sometimes people will pet you the wrong way, but don't think badly of them. Chances are, you too have had days when you didn't make the best impression. Give people the credit and calm negative thoughts.
   • For example, maybe the person was having a bad day when you met. Likewise, a shy person may appear aloof or arrogant at first glance.
7. 7 Don't gossip about other people. Gossip sows ill will and forces people to form judgments about each other without knowing the real story. Plus, if you build a reputation as a gossip, people will happily come to you for spicy details about someone else's life, but they won't be able to truly trust you.
   • The next time you open your mouth to say something negative about someone, wrap it up in something positive. Instead of saying: "Did you hear that Anya slept with Dima last night?" - say: “Did you know that Anya is an amazing artist? You should take a look at one of her works sometime! " Consider how much more enjoyable it will be to spread benevolence.

Tips

• Remember that all people are different, and this makes the world more interesting!

Warnings

• Focus on your own life, not dictating how others should live.
• Judgment can hurt a person's feelings as much as your own.