Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Be Reliable
• Part 2 of 4: Don't Forget Friends
• Part 3 of 4: Provide Support
• Part 4 of 4: Extend Your Friendship for Years to Come
• Tips
• Warnings

Being a good friend is not always easy, but the long-term true friendship built over time is worth every ounce of the effort. Years will pass, some people will stay with you, but many will leave, and you will realize how invaluable every friendship you maintain. Of course, to have a good friend, you have to be one yourself. Follow these tips to be a good friend and build friendships over the years.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Be Reliable

1. 1 Keep promises. Never make promises that you cannot keep, or at least let it not become commonplace. If you have promised to go out with a friend, but unforeseen circumstances arise, explain the situation and hope that your friendship is strong enough to handle the unpleasant situation. Nobody's perfect, so it's okay if you don't keep your promise once every 100 years, but don't make it a habit. If you do this over and over again, your friend will decide that you cannot be trusted. After promising something important, keep your word - don't risk your friendship.
   • When making a serious promise, look your friend in the eye and speak slowly to demonstrate that you are truly aware of the situation, rather than just saying because you think you have to say it.
2. 2 Be reliable. Reliability is one of the most important qualities of a good friend. No one likes windy people, and no one wants to form close friendships with them. It is difficult to rely on someone who is behaving in an inconsistent and untrustworthy manner. We all know good-natured, but windy people who promise something, but never keep their promise. If we are talking about you, know that this is how you undermine the trust of your friends. Ultimately, they will stop believing your promises.
   • If you are not sure that you can fulfill something, do not agree to take on it, so that later you will not fulfill the promise. Instead, be honest about how you're not sure you can handle the assignment.
   • Friends should always feel like they can count on you, even when things get tough. If you're only around when you're having fun, you'll be nothing more than a situational playmate.
3. 3 Please apologize for your mistakes. If you want your friends to trust you, don't act like you're perfect. If you know you've made a mistake, admit it, rather than go into denial. While friends may not be happy that you made a mistake, they will be very happy that you are mature and thoughtful enough to admit a mistake, rather than pretend that nothing happened, or worse, blame the other person for it. ...
   • When apologizing, you must understand why you are apologizing. Be sincere - your words shouldn't sound like you don't care about their feelings. Show your determination - tell them how bad you are and that you are determined to improve the relationship.
4. 4 Be honest and don't be shy about being vulnerable. If you want to be a good friend that people trust, be honest about how you feel, what your friends do, and how valuable your friendship is. If your feelings are honest and you do not hide your vulnerability, this opens a direct path to frank communication with friends and, most likely, allows them to open their souls to you. If a friend hurt you, don't be afraid to talk about it. If something upsets you, do not hesitate to tell your friend about it.
   • Honesty is different from reckless straightforwardness, which can hurt friends. If you think your friend has a drinking problem, you owe it to him to talk about it. But if you think your friend looks a little weird in her new dress, it's best to keep your mouth shut.
   • Be real. Get close to people who mean a lot to you at a deep level if you want to have lasting, long-term friendships.Put your heart and soul into relationships with people with whom you can be yourself. If you lack sincerity, friendship will not last long. Be honest about your feelings, even if you think your friend might not like it.
5. 5 Disagree politely. If a friend says something that you think seems biased, or you just disagree with his or her opinion, it's perfectly okay to say so. Tell a friend what you think about the topic under discussion and why. The main thing is to be polite.
   • If you start to get upset, observe your feelings both emotionally and physically. It's okay to be angry, but the conversation will be more productive if you calm down first.
   • Approach the situation with curiosity and a desire to gain a deeper understanding of your friend's point of view.
   • Be direct and bold. It's hard to argue with a friend, especially if he says something that you hate or dislike.
6. 6 Don't use people. If one of your friends suspects that you are using him, he will throw you like a hot potato. Good friendships are not built on the hope that the popularity and connections of the other person will help you in life. If you are trying to be friends with a person in order to get into a certain company, this is not friendship, but a mercantile interest, and in the end your sneaky act will manifest itself.
   • And if you have a reputation for using other people, then new people will not be very happy to make friends with you.
   • Friendship is about giving and taking. Of course, it is very convenient if one of your friends gives you a lift to school every day, but be sure to give him something in return.
7. 7 Be loyal. If a friend has shared something intimate, trusting you, keep the secret and do not discuss it with anyone else as if it were your secret. Do not discuss your friend behind his back and do not spread rumors about intimate things that he has shared with you. Never say words about a friend that you would not risk repeating in his face. Be loyal and protective of your loyal friends if new friends or people you barely know start gossiping about them.
   • An important part of loyalty is understanding the importance of lasting and lasting friendships. Don't throw all of these values ​​away for the sake of hanging out with a new girlfriend, boyfriend, or cool new person you recently met. Remember, a friend may feel abandoned.
   • If you have a reputation for being a talker or gossip, your friends will quickly learn that you shouldn't be told anything personal or that they'll stop spending a lot of time with you altogether.
   • Don't let others talk badly about your friends. Until you get a chance to find out how your friend sees the situation, avoid comments based on hearsay and speculation. If the person says things that shock you and you think might not be relevant to your friend's words or behavior, say something like, “I know him, and this all doesn't sound true. Let me talk to him to understand his opinion on the situation. Until this moment, I will be grateful if you will not expand on what happened. "
8. 8 Be respectful. Good friends show respect for each other with an open attitude and mutual support. If a friend has certain values ​​and beliefs that are at odds with yours, respect their choice and be open to hear more about it. To earn your friend's trust, let them feel comfortable expressing opinions that you might disagree with, or discussing new perspectives with you. If your friend thinks that you are suppressing any interesting or promising idea that comes to him, your friendship will cease to be of any value.
   • Sometimes friends may say things that seem boring, uncomfortable, or annoying, but if you respect your friend, let them speak up without judging them.
   • In a situation where you disagree, express your disagreement with respect and be willing to look at things from a different angle.

Part 2 of 4: Don't Forget Friends

1. 1 Never let your friends feel abandoned. It is very important. If you start dating a girl or boyfriend, this does not mean that you need to forget about friends. Remember - when this relationship is over and your heart is broken, your friend will always be there. Be with him too!

Part 3 of 4: Provide Support

1. 1 Be selfless. While you don't have to be selfless all the time, selflessness is an important quality of a good friend. Whenever possible, follow the wishes of your friends, provided that they are within reasonable limits. Respond to good deeds with good deeds and your friendship will grow. If you have a reputation for being selfish and a person who only appears when they need help, people will understand that you are indifferent to them.
   • Do your friend a favor from a pure heart, not for profit.
   • There is a difference between a selfless person and one to whom everyone sits on his neck. If you feel that you are always helping your friends without getting anything in return, then you are in trouble.
   • But abuse generosity and hospitality. If a friend did something good for you, quickly reciprocate. Return borrowed money promptly. Leave home when it seems like it's time.
2. 2 Learn to listen. Don't monopolize conversations and take your time to really understand and support your friend when they speak to you. Sounds simple, but make sure you listen as much as you talk about yourself. If you engage in all the conversation with the expression of your feelings, the friend will not get anything from this relationship. By listening to your friend, you open up a space for communication between you and reassure him that you are not indifferent.
   • If you’re just waiting for your friend to finish talking to speak up, this will be noticed immediately.
   • Try to find balance by letting your friend talk for about half the time. Even though some people are more shy than others, if a friend can't put in a word as you speak, your friendship is unlikely to flourish.
   • After accidentally interrupting your friend, say something like, "Sorry, keep going."
3. 3 Help your friends cope with difficulties. To truly help, you need to be able to sense a moment when a friend is having a difficult time. If you feel that your friend is in trouble and has little control over the process, such as taking drugs, having a promiscuous sex life, or getting too drunk at a party, help him out of the unpleasant situation by not being shy about talking about it.
   • Don't expect your friend to handle it on his own. It can take a long time for your common sense voice to awaken your friend and help him out of the psychological hole. When you see a problem, talk, no matter how uncomfortable you feel.
   • Let your friend know that he can always count on you to cry into his vest at a difficult moment. Feeling less lonely can help your friend deal with their problems faster.
   • If all the friend wants is to talk about the problem, that is good at first, but you still need to help him find practical solutions to the problems.
   • For example, if a friend confesses that he has an eating disorder and just can't hold back while eating, you need to talk about taking more serious measures to deal with the problem, such as seeing a doctor. However, remember the boundaries. You shouldn't be allowed to have to solve all of your friend's problems.
4. 4 Be there in difficult times. If a friend is in the hospital, visit him. If his dog escaped, help find it. If he needs to be met, wait at the appointed place. Take notes for your friend at school when he is away.Send postcards and packages with nice things when you live far away. If grief happened in his family and a relative died, support your friend at the funeral. Let him know that he can count on you at any time.
   • A friend cannot constantly be near in a difficult situation, although some still manage. Be there to help in difficult times, but remember - this cannot be the foundation of your relationship.
   • When you are around, it is important to provide emotional support as well. Take care of your friend so that he can open up and cry. Give him a handkerchief and listen with an open heart. There is no need to say anything, even if everything seems wrong. Just stay calm and reassuring.
   • When a friend is going through a crisis, don't tell him that everything will be okay if it isn't. Sometimes it’s hard not to say so, but false confidence is often worse than the bitter truth. Instead, say you'll be there. Stay honest and at the same time optimistic and positive.
   • If a friend starts talking about suicide, tell your loved ones about it. This rule takes precedence over the rule of keeping a friend's private secrets, so if he even asks not to tell anyone, do it anyway. Offer to contact a psychotherapist or call the emergency psychological hotline of the Ministry of Emergency Situations at 8 (495) 989-50-50, 8 (499) 216-50-50 or 051 (for residents of Moscow) if you live in Russia. If you live in another country, search the Internet for the local psychological emergency hotline number. Talk to your parents, or a friend's parents, their spouse (if they are not the cause of the problem) before involving anyone else.
5. 5 Give thoughtful advice. As a good friend, you should be able to assess the situation from the friend's point of view and offer your opinion without insisting that he should do whatever you say. Do not judge your friend, but simply advise when he applies.
   • Don't give unsolicited advice. Let your friend blow off some steam if necessary, and be ready to offer advice when it is obvious that the friend needs it. Always ask permission before giving advice.
   • In some cases, you need to act tough for the good in order to keep your friend out of trouble. Proceed at your own discretion. No need to lecture or pressure a friend. Tell us how you see the situation, in terms of facts, and imagine how you would act in such a situation.
6. 6 Give your friend free space when they need it. Support also means realizing that your friend doesn't want to be around you all the time. Know how to walk away, giving him free space. Be understanding when your friend sometimes wants to be alone or go out with other people. There is no need to become annoying or in need of attention. By becoming annoying and checking your friend every couple of minutes when he is not around, you will feel like an owner, which is completely unacceptable.
   • Don't be jealous if he has a lot of friends. Every relationship is different and special, and having other friends doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate you.
   • By taking time for you and your friend to spend time with other friends, both of you will have the opportunity to take a break, which will allow you to meet fresh thoughts again and appreciate each other even more.

Part 4 of 4: Extend Your Friendship for Years to Come

1. 1 Learn to forgive. If you want your friendship to last long, you need to find the strength to forgive and move forward. Holding a grudge, allowing bitterness and resentment to grow, you will not be able to move on. Admit that no one is perfect, and if the friend sincerely asks for forgiveness, did nothing terrible, forgive and move on.
   • If a friend has done something so unforgivable that you are no longer on your way together, it is better to go further your own way than trying to save a friendship that is doomed.But this happens very rarely.
   • If you are angry with a friend, but don't say why, you can never forgive him without having a heart-to-heart talk.
2. 2 Accept your friend for who he is. For a friendship to flourish, you shouldn't try to change your friend or teach you how to look at the world through your eyes. If you are conservative and your friend is liberal, accept it instead of constantly arguing. Appreciate the freshness that a friend can bring to your worldview, rather than aiming for them to take over your entire experience.
   • The more you are friends, the less you idealize each other and the more you perceive them as you are. This is where true friendship lies - caring for each other despite knowing that both are flawed.
3. 3 Do even more than your friend asks. The buddy will wait while you do your homework. A great friend will help with the assignment all evening. Remember, if you are a good friend, people will want to be a good friend to you. Feel the moments when you must try your best for the friend, and know that this is what develops your friendship, and the friend will try for you in return.
   • If your friend really needs your help but keeps telling you not to worry, learn to read between the lines and feel when the friend really needs your support.
4. 4 Stay connected no matter what happens. Over the years, people often drift apart. Perhaps you and your friend will move in different directions and only see each other on rare occasions. Sometimes years can pass without much contact. If you never stop thinking about your friend, talk to him. Your friend will be glad to hear from you. In the past, you had grounds for friendship, so you can find something that binds you to this day.
   • Don't let your location determine the strength of the bond between you. If friendship really matters, it will develop even if there is an ocean between you.
   • Make it your goal to have a monthly phone call or Skype call, even if you're in vastly different time zones. Through regular communication, your relationship will flourish.
5. 5 May friendship develop with you. If you want to be a good friend, you need to understand that friendships will not be the same at school, university, or in the adult world. Of course, when you were fourteen, you could spend all the time with your best friend, but over time you went to different universities, started serious relationships, and, naturally, began to communicate less. But this does not mean that your friendship is not that strong. It's just that life develops, and friendship changes over time.
   • Don't try to keep the friendship the same as it was ten years ago. Keep it elastic, not hardened.
   • If a friend is married and has two children, or even just a serious relationship, and you are not currently dating anyone, be respectful of the fact that, despite the fact that the friend is really worried about you, he will not be able to stay in touch. 24 hours a day, as it was before.
   • Appreciate the changes in friendships that have come over the years and learn to grow with your relationship.
   • Remember that your friend should treat you well.

Tips

• Don't try to imitate a friend - opposites attract. It can also annoy your friend, and he will stop trusting you. Embrace your differences and be proud of them.
• Tell your friend how much you value the time with him and how great it was that he was with you when you needed it. This will improve his mood and strengthen your friendship.
• Honest communication is the foundation of a friendship. If you cannot communicate with each other openly, then your friendship is doomed.
• It doesn't take a lot of time and money to be a good friend. The best gift is made with love with your own hands. A phone call can mean as much as a meeting in person.
• Enjoy each other's company.Friendship is not only an outpouring of emotions and advice in love affairs. Have fun together and do spontaneous things from time to time. Be a positive force in your friend's life.
• A friend who is only available at school or work is still your friend. Rejoice even in this specific friendship associated with the place you share together.
• If a friend made a promise and didn't keep it, don't do the same in return, otherwise it won't end well.
• Do not have excessive expectations and do not set unnecessary rules. Let your friendships develop and change naturally.
• Tease your friend with pride. The better you know your friend, the easier it is to find something special and tease to cheer them up, not upset them.
• Be there for tough times.

Warnings

• Nobody likes insults, tease your friend gently. If he asks you to stop, do so.
• If a friend treats you badly and you treat him well, there is no point in being friends. Don't make close friendships with people who don't want to treat you well.
• Don't expect instant or lifelong friendship. Understand that in order to become something special, friendship must develop gradually.
• Turn off your mobile phone when spending time together, having lunch or just walking. When the conversation is constantly interrupted by phone calls, it is very repulsive. Your friend might think that you don't value your time together.
• Do not confide in someone you cannot trust, because one day he may use this information against you.
• If a friend makes new friends, don't be jealous. Nobody likes jealous friends. Believe in your friendship.
• Do not discuss topics that are unpleasant to your friend. No one wants to be in the company of someone they are uncomfortable with. For example, if someone in a friend's family recently died, do not talk about topics related to death. (Note. It's okay to ask how a friend is feeling about the death of a loved one. Perhaps he needs help. It’s not good to just ignore such an event in a friend’s life.)