Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

When one is cheating on others, it can be difficult to decide whether to continue with the old relationship or the affair. In many cases, ending a sneaky relationship is a delicate process that requires a lot of mental strength and attention. Whether you were the one who cheated and you wanted to end the relationship, or your spouse cheated on you, ending the affair and moving forward is entirely possible if you get direction. correct lead.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: End of a Hidden Love

1. 

   Evaluate both relationships separately. If you are an adulterer, you will feel extremely confused and miserable when you think about what awaits you. You have betrayed your partner's trust and you also need to consider the feelings of the person you are sneaking into.Every relationship is different, and it's important to evaluate each relationship individually before making a decision.
   • Think about whether you should present this to your spouse, or if you should tell your partner first. It's best to talk to your partner first. Did your partner know that you were married? If you have ever promised that you will get a divorce so you can go further with your partner, or that you feel attached to both of you, you should try to gently turn down your partner. However, if you want to maintain your relationship with your full-fledged spouse / lover, you need to terminate contact with your partner. Trying to "be friends" with him / her can be quite dangerous and will interfere with your formal relationship mending.
   • Never make an appointment with everyone to work out a problem together. Even if your partner or partner wants to do this, you should avoid using this method.

2. 

   
   
   Decide if you want to continue the relationship with your partner. If you decide to end your relationship with your partner, think about whether you want to remain in a relationship with your partner, and think about how you can present yourself to her. / he is about adultery. Remember that only about 10% of an affair can end up being married, and these marriages usually don't last.
   • If you want to live with your partner, you need to decide how much you will disclose about your affair to her / him. If you feel extremely guilty and you think that telling the truth will make you feel better, you should do it as soon as possible. If you feel confident that the same won't happen, consider improving your formal relationship without having to reveal about the affair. And remember to weigh in on the harm these secrets can do to your current relationship. If your partner learns about your cheating through other sources, this will increase the pain of her / him betrayal.
   • Why would you want to start a new relationship? Is it because of a temporary mood, or is it because you are not happy with your current relationship? Would you be happier if you ended it permanently? It is not your partner who decides whether he / she should give you the chance to "come back" or not. If you have had many sneaky relationships before, this could be a symptom of "addiction". A qualified specialist can help. In addition, you can look to help groups who are prone to cheating on a regular basis.

3. 

   
   
   Ending the relationship with your partner is similar to the traditional breakup process. Just because cheating is out of the scope of a traditional relationship doesn't mean you don't give your partner the same courtesy and respect that you would in a formal relationship. If you choose to end this relationship, break up with respect and directly. If you choose to break up over the phone, allow your partner to decide to listen only when she / he really wants to. Explain that you want to stop all communication. Don't email, call or share lunch with your partner. This will only take you deep into the realm of temptation and will only take longer to end the relationship. You may have to change your phone number and email address to avoid any contact with your partner.
   • If your partner already knows that you are in a strong relationship with another person, it can be painful to realize they weren't "chosen", even if they weren't. should be the way you see this relationship. If you want to end a sneaky relationship, discuss things that are preventing the relationship from continuing, rather than focusing on you are married or in a connected relationship with someone else. .

4. 

   
   
   Don't give your partner hope that this relationship hasn't really ended. Don't try to end the relationship by suggesting the two of you get back together. Do not pretend that you "will return" if your marriage is not happy or that you "will see what happens". If your relationship is coming to an end and this should happen, end it.
   • If you want to end a sneaky affair just because you got caught, be grateful for this. Sometimes it takes an "encounter" so that you can escape the infatuation of the "mist of adultery". This will help you to be able to sincerely and respectfully stop and consider both relationships.

5. 

   See if you have a sexually transmitted infection. If you have sex with more than one sex partner at the same time, you will need to go to hospital early to check if you have sexually transmitted diseases. For your own safety and for both people you love, get a checkup.
   • If you are not using safe sex with your partner, you should let your partner know. Even if you do not have symptoms of a sexually transmitted infection, you are more likely to pass the infection on to your partner. You should tell her / him the truth for the sake of her / his health.

6. 

   Get rid of pictures and online mail. Even if you decide to end an affair, make sure your spouse does not accidentally come across smelly photos, emails, or letters between you and your partner. If you are trying to heal your relationship, these will be barriers to your efforts making it difficult to pay off. Avoid watching debauchery movies online. advertisement

Part 2 of 3: Talking with Your Spouse

1. 

   Decide if you want to confess. Although many literature on the sex field recommend that you confess guilt, many argue that it depends on the nature of your sneaky relationship, your commitment to your friend. formal life, and a host of individual factors in each of your situations and relationships. Remember, however, that you have an obligation to respect the physical and mental health of your partner.
   • If your relationship is in trouble, confessing to your guilt can help you improve your bond, rebuild the beliefs you used to have, or it can help you make friends. promote your relationship so you can feel better. Either way, you will be able to get out of a relationship that is in trouble. Remember that cheating is your own choice; Your official spouse is not the creator.
   • If your relationship is good and you make mistakes because of circumstances, and you pledge that it won't happen again, admitting the mistake can do some harm. friend. End the sneaky relationship, keep yourself safe, and get back to your partner.
   • If you are married, most people would agree that you should confess about having an affair with your spouse and heal your feelings together, but there are a few other factors that you should consider before making an offer. this decision.

2. 

   Simplify things. If you are going to confess guilt, you don't need to come up with a complicated set of excuses. If you're a man, you should just say, "I don't know how to talk about this, but I need you to know that I cheated. It's over, I really regret the action. and I want to rebuild our feelings if you allow me. I know I hurt you and I'm really sorry. "
   • Don't overshare. Confessing cheating doesn't mean you should be too detailed.Your partner does not need to know the details of what you did with your partner, but you should let your partner know if he / she should get tested for infectious disease. sexual path or not. While you should give details about your times when you have had sex with someone else, your partner will ask quite a few questions. Respond respectfully to questions and do not lie.

3. 

   Discuss your relationship with your partner. Your partner will be deeply hurt and it may take about 2 years to heal the relationship. Please be patient. Reassure your partner that this is not his / her fault. You will probably need to apologize quite a few times. If they have to go through a grieving process, this is completely common and normal. Bring comfort and love and tell them that you are sorry and that you are sorry for causing him / her pain. If you hope to be able to rebuild your relationship, you will need to talk to your partner about how to re-create the relationship. Focus on the emotional healing process.
   • Your partner will feel extremely angry and in pain, but at the same time curious to know about your partner. Keep the conversation going about the love affair between you and your partner. If you find it difficult to do this, seek emotional counselors, who help couples restore trust after an affair.
   • Don't make any excuses for your actions. You don't have to give fake reasons and elaborate justifications for why you acted like this. Your spouse has the right to know the truth, because that way, you can find ways to move forward. They need you to understand the pain of being betrayed. Empathy will be the cure for both.

4. 

   Be aware of triggers, such as going to the restaurant where you ate dinner with your partner. Triggers can sometimes trigger strong emotions and stir their pain. If the affair goes on in your bed, replace the sheets and mattress you used during the affair.

5. 

   Give your partner time to think. It's hard to know how to react when someone tells you you've been cheated. You need to give her / him space, avoid forcing your partner to talk about it if they don't want to, and allow them time to think more carefully.
   • If necessary, find somewhere to stay within a few days to give your spouse some time to think quietly. Remember, even though they are angry and distressed, they may need your presence to ease the pain. In addition, she / he may want to leave. Let them go.
   • Do not force it. If your partner doesn't want to talk, you can't force him or her. Sometimes it takes time to get used to your own feelings.

6. 

   Seek treatment for couples. Couples who have had an affair often come to discuss the situation with a third person. Couple therapy is a good way to take a fresh look at this good relationship, especially if you're in a deteriorating long-term relationship. If you want to rebuild your love, get help.

7. 

   The path to recovery will take a lot of effort. If you've experienced a sneaky relationship and hope to heal your formal relationship, unite with your spouse. Accept their pain as part of recovery. You are helping them heal their wounds. Show empathy and avoid being conservative as this will hinder communication and make recovery more unlikely. Most couples who "accept" this process after an affair will have a stronger relationship as they work together to rebuild their relationship.
   • When having an affair, some couples say that the fastest solution is to allow the betrayed person to have an affair to "make up", however, this usually makes the problem worse. Then, you will have to deal with two people who are both hurt instead of one individual. This will not help you mend your feelings.
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Part 3 of 3: Addressing Your Spouse's Adultery Problem

1. 

   Act like you're proud. If you find your partner cheating on you, stop and take a breath. Both will shed tears. This is a normal and healthy process. Once everyone has calmed down, you'll still have to fix the problem. Although it will be quite angry and painful when you find out the truth, take time to think about things.
   • Avoid Jerry Springer style situations. You won't need to use hidden cams, appear dramatic, or openly insult to mention your spouse's adultery. You are not appearing on television. Act like a person of dignity.

2. 

   Calmly talk to your partner. If you suspect that he / she is having an affair and you want to be sure, or if you are absolutely certain and you want them to end the affair and focus on formal relationship building of both of you, confront your partner in a calm manner. They will want to confess the truth if you calm down. Be prepared that they may not be honest with you. Sometimes the truth will be revealed little by little.
   • If you start yelling, your partner will try to lie so that you can calm down and let them get out of the conversation as easily as possible. If you want to know the truth, stay calm. If you make a mistake, this is not the end of the world. This is just a painful time. You will feel pain. And crying is a natural act.

3. 

   Decide if you want to officially end your relationship. It can be difficult to rebuild your trust after an affair, and not all relationships are worth the effort. Decide if you want to mend the relationship and try to start the healing process once the sneaky relationship is over.
   • If your partner doesn't want to stealthily end the relationship, or is hesitant, consider ending the relationship. Please protect yourself in the process. The love and support from family and friends will be needed in this moment.

4. 

   Everything has its time. Your initial instincts can be quite surprising. You will feel anger, depression, and a host of other mixed emotions at the same time. You may even be relieved that your troubled relationship has a chance to end at last. No matter how you feel, give yourself some alone time so you can handle the situation. Don't make a decision in a hurry. advertisement

Advice

• In the case of your partner's cheating once you get married, a marriage counselor can help you both recover from the affair. Married, unmarried adulterers can seek couples counselors for similar help.
• Forgiveness is an important part of moving forward in an affair, whether you are an adulterer or your partner. In both cases, you need to forgive yourself and your partner and eliminate blame for each other and try to find the true cause of the affair. However, avoid forcing yourself to forgive all at once. Sometimes, this process can take months to years for your wound to fully heal.

Warning

• Avoid yelling, becoming aggressive, showing or appearing victimized just to try to end your spouse's affair, as this will only make him / her want to leave you.