Content

• Steps
• Advice

Is there a pessimist in your life - someone who thinks about the negative sides of situations rather than the positives? If you are a cheerful optimist yourself, it may be difficult to understand and deal with the perspective of a pessimist. The way you won't get discouraged by a "half-a-half" mindset is to reduce the effects of pessimism on yourself, communicate effectively with people who don't have positive outlooks, and learn about pessimism.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Reduce the impact of pessimism on yourself

1. 

   Focus on yourself. Sometimes we spend too much time worrying about other people and their feelings and losing contemplation of ourselves. Be responsible for your feelings and responses to pessimism. By focusing on your own happiness rather than on others, you strip the power of negativity.
   • Remind yourself that you are in control. You have the right to to what extent other people's feelings and thoughts can be allowed.
   • For example, although it is difficult to sympathize with pessimism, understand that other people's pessimism is their own thinking, and you can only control your own feelings. You have the right to decide what affects your feelings.

2. 

   
   
   Change your way of thinking. Using logic as a countermeasure is always tied to strong will. Please remain positive. Research shows that optimism can help boost your energy. This means that your own optimism can help you defeat pessimism and the effects of negativity.
   • Find good points in all things and remind yourself that you can do it by plucking your hairs. It's much more difficult to find a solution and act positively. Instead of trying to verbally persuade a pessimist with relevant explanations, just continue to be positive in life, using your actions and actions instead of words.
   • If you feel sad about being around a pessimist, keep in mind (even write down if you like) five good things in your life. Think of these as a "shield" against the negativity you find yourself reacting to.
   • Actively cultivate friendships with optimistic people. Spending more time with positive people can improve your mood and reassure you that the emotion is right for you.

3. 

   
   
   Focus on the good qualities of the person. The way of seeing things is not the only personality of a person, but there are many other complex qualities that make up that person's character. So look at their good points instead of just focusing on their negative traits. Is that person intelligent? Do they help you? Are they so unique that they don't have to worry about what others think of them? Are they easy people to work with? Focus on the person's positives and find ways to balance the negatives.
   • When listing the five good points in your life, try to list at least three positives about the pessimist and think about them when dealing with them becomes difficult. You can also use this checklist to remind pessimists of their good points if they've forgotten.
   • Find sympathy for a pessimist by remembering that their pessimism can stem from misfortune or low self-esteem. When you hear them say something negative, tell yourself that they may have experienced something extremely difficult that made them more pessimistic.

4. 

   
   
   Give up control. Understand that you cannot control the thoughts and behaviors of others. Let pessimists take responsibility for their pessimistic attitudes. They can see the negative things, so let them interpret for themselves about their events and about life in general. Accept that they have the right to choose their way of thinking.
   • Let the pessimist decide which option they feel most comfortable with. Avoid advising or forcing them to see things or do things your way.

5. 

   Don't try to be a hero. Resist your instinct to please a pessimist. What you need to avoid is reinforcing the person's negative thoughts with rewards for their pessimistic thoughts (attention, abilities, etc.).
   • Not trying to convince a pessimist that everything will be fine. Remember that you cannot control how they interpret the situation.

6. 

   Practice acceptance. Don't be in a hurry to dismiss people because of their pessimism. Learning to deal with people who are not like you is an important part of self-maturity and social interaction.
   • Pessimism is not always bad. Some philosophers and researchers argue that pessimism actually makes people happier and closer to reality because they are better prepared and less disappointed if they anticipate bad things. worst could happen. That way, when the unfortunate happens, they'll handle it better.
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Part 2 of 3: Effective communication of pessimism

1. 

   
   
   Assertive. Give feedback and help your pessimistic friend understand their impact on others. Be mature when interacting with them.
   • Respectfully honest. If a pessimist annoys you or affects you in a negative way, let them know. Say that you are sorry they saw it that way, but you have a different perspective.
   • Use a sentence with the subject in the first person "I". “I feel ______ when you_____”. Focus on how you are feeling instead of what the person is doing.
   • Avoid labeling. Telling the pessimist that they are pessimistic is futile and can lead to conflict.

2. 

   
   
   Correct negativity. One thing you can do is try to come up with different perspectives on the problem. Remember, however, that you are not saving them from pessimism or making them happy. You are merely expressing your opinion and disagreeing with their views on the situation.

3. 

   
   
   Set boundaries. You may need to separate or keep your distance from the person. Setting boundaries about issues you discuss with the person and the amount of time you spend with them can be helpful ways to help you overcome the discomfort of their presence.
   • Don't simply ignore them; That action is considered passive aggressive communication.
   • Limit interactions if necessary. However, if it's a family member, coworker, or friend that you can't or don't want to avoid, then limiting the amount of time you spend with them may be beneficial to you.

4. 

   Have a gentle attitude. Show sympathy when dealing with people who think differently than you.
   • If the pessimist doesn't want to do what you still do, sympathize with their worries or distress. This is a kind and tender way to highlight what they are having negative thoughts on - focus directly on them and show sympathy for their worries and suffering.
   • Understand and help without encouraging negativity.
   • For example, when a pessimist refuses to join you in an activity and says they can go home / not come, say you go and do what you like, say something like, “I Unfortunately you find this difficult. Do whatever you feel comfortable with (go home / don't come / stay here / take on tasks easier, etc.) ”.
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Part 3 of 3: Identify and understand pessimistic thinking

1. 

   Know the pessimistic signs. At first you may not be alert to other people's pessimistic tendencies due to your optimism. It can also help to explore these patterns to spot pessimism for yourself. Signs of pessimistic thinking include:
   • Thinking that it wouldn't go well. This is also known as tragedy, or the thought that the worst will happen.
   • Believe that bad results that happen are permanent and cannot be escaped.
   • You may blame yourself or others for things that went wrong.

2. 

   
   
   Understand a potential problem. One possible cause of negative thinking is depression. If this is the case, the pessimist may need psychological or drug treatment.
   • See Treating Depression for symptoms.
   • If you are concerned that a family member or friend has a mental health problem, you can talk to them about your concerns and offer treatment. Just simply say, “I've noticed recently that you seem sad (or angry, or have a negative attitude), have you ever thought of talking to a professional? I think this can help. ” Be careful not to push them, otherwise you will scare them away.

3. 

   
   
   Continue to learn about pessimism. The more you know, the less personal criticism you can feel that can arise when pessimistic thoughts come to your side. Learning brings understanding and increases the ability to cope.
   • One option is to read Learned Optimism (learn to be optimistic) by Martin Seligman. Dr. Seligman is a psychologist and expert in the area of ​​active psychology. He gives you methods to help you determine if you are biased toward optimism or pessimism, and teaches how to become more optimistic.
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Advice

• When dealing with people with pessimistic tendencies, choose a time when they seem happy. This increases the likelihood of your speech being received positively.