Content

• Steps
• Advice

Your relationship with the other person has come and gone, but now you want to get back to him. It's not uncommon for a couple to get back together after a long break up, so don't give up hope. But make sure to think hard about your reasons for getting back together, as this will likely help your relationship progress once again.

Read When should you do this? to learn more about when to get back with your ex.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Make sure you are on the right track

1. 

   Rethinking about why the two of you broke up. The first thing you need to do is to look closely at the causes of the breakup. Consider whether similar difficulties might cause additional problems if you try to get back together, or if you can overcome them.
   • It's important to think about what you did to cause the breakup. Blaming your ex is not an effective way to get him back on you!

2. 

   
   
   Think about why you want to get back to him. Breaking up is never easy, even if the relationship is not very good. Therefore, it is very important to think about the motivations that make you want to get back with your ex. If you want the two of you to come back because you feel sad or lonely or don't like being single, maybe you should reconsider. Just because you miss your ex doesn't mean you should get back with him. Although it will take a long time, these feelings will pass. If you want the two to get back together because you genuinely care about each other and you can see their future, then go ahead and try to win him back!
   • If your boyfriend is physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive in any way, don't try to get back to him. It's okay to miss him even when it was a bad relationship, but it's important to remind yourself that you can do better.

3. 

   
   
   Spending time. Ending a relationship can often be quite intense, so it's better to spend some time apart from yourself and the other before you try to make things up. You both need to get over the pain of the breakup and think about what you really want.
   • This doesn't mean you need to avoid him completely if you go to the same school or have a group of friends, but avoid calling or hanging out with him for a while to give you a chance to recover. and focus on thinking.
   • If your ex is in constant contact with you, let him know that you'll give him time so he doesn't think you don't want to do anything with him. This is especially important if the person you love is a little shy or unsteady.
   • Maybe he takes a moment to realize how much he misses you too!

4. 

   
   
   Accept that it may not work. When trying to get your ex back, realize that it may or may not work. Even if you may succeed, there is no guarantee that your relationship will last. Be prepared for this in advance to avoid being hurt by a second love affair.

5. 

   Build self-esteem. Use this opportunity to truly invest in yourself and learn to love yourself. The higher your self-esteem, the better prepared you'll be to have a good, long-lasting relationship.
   • If you have depression or anxiety, see a mental health professional for help. You will probably be amazed at how treatment can affect your self-esteem.
   • Remind yourself of your strengths and talents every day. Celebrate every small achievement you make.
   • If you have trouble realizing your strengths, talk to your friends and loved ones. You can ask them to share with you what they think are your most positive traits.
   • Try to be grateful for all that you have.
   • Meditation can help you reduce stress and live more fully in the moment.
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Part 2 of 4: Take the second chance

1. 

   Talk to his friends. If you have mutual friends or if his friends are willing to talk to you without telling him about it, consider asking them what they think your ex is likely to shoot. back to you. They will often know better than you about whether he has a new girlfriend or if he really wants to get back with you.
   • This is not easy at all. He may still want to get back to you even if he doesn't show it to his friends

2. 

   Get in touch. When you're ready to spend time with your ex-boyfriend again, ask him if he wants to do something as a friend, like going out for a coffee together, going to an event. sports events, play a game you both enjoy, watch a movie or hang out at the mall. Act like a friend, not a lover.
   • Don't take this as an opportunity to beg him to get back to you. Instead, try to have a good time with him and make sure he feels comfortable with you too.
   • Don't talk about your relationship the first time you see him, unless he mentioned it first. Otherwise, wait until the two of you have met a few times and had a chance to make a good impression on him as a friend.

3. 

   Be the person he once fell in love with. While spending time with your ex as friends, give him reasons to remember all the things he loves about who you are. Emphasize traits you know he likes, like your sense of humor or your empathy.
   • Always be positive and happy around him. During the process, you can subtly suggest to him that you still like him. For example, you might say, "It's nice to hang out with you. I really miss your time with you."
   • Even if you didn't directly mention your past relationship, you can remind him of the good times you spent together in skillful ways. If he compliments a particular outfit, put it on again. You can also share sweet memories with him. If you get the chance to meet him, make an appointment in a familiar place where you used to have fun together.

4. 

   Show him you've changed. Take advantage of your time with him as friends to show him that you are working on improving yourself. For example, if you've ever pissed him off for always being late, score by arriving a few minutes before your scheduled appointment time.

5. 

   Speak openly. Unfortunately, there's no sure way to know if your ex wants to get back with you without asking him.When you feel you have had enough time to show him your new and better self, talk honestly with him, letting him know that you still have feelings for him.
   • Ask if he still has feelings for you before you start expressing your desire to get back to him. If he doesn't love you anymore, then there's almost nothing you can do about it.
   • Don't cry or beg.
   • Don't let this conversation turn into an argument about why you broke up. It's important to show him that you are over it.
   • Talk in a quiet place where you won't be interrupted.

6. 

   Committed to building a better relationship. If your ex returns to you, you both need to take steps to make sure that the same problems that caused you to break up won't interfere with your relationship again. Talk about the conflicts that you both had in the past and how you can better resolve them in the future.
   • Depending on how serious you are and the other person, you may want to attend couple counseling sessions to improve your relationship skills.
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Part 3 of 4: Dealing with the problems that caused you to break up

1. 

   Fix bad habits. Now is the time to look at your behaviors that led to the breakup and try to improve yourself. For example, if you feel that you and your ex broke up because you were jealous or overly arguing, try to become more aware of these behaviors and stop them.
   • Depending on what bad habits you are trying to break away, perhaps help from a mental health professional can be helpful.
   • Keep in mind that this doesn't mean you should change who you are. If your personalities don't match, it might be better to find a new boyfriend who appreciates you for who you are. However, if you have a few bad habits that you can fix, start working on them.
   • You don't need to change for anyone else! All of these changes should be done because they benefit you to some extent.

2. 

   Apologize if you've hurt him. If you've done anything that hurts your ex, whether you said something offended him or you weren't with him when it was difficult, it's time to ask. error. Making a sincere apology takes a lot of strength, but it can be extremely helpful in helping you heal your relationship.
   • Be specific about what you want to apologize for. Instead of saying, "I'm really sorry for hurting you", say "I'm really sorry I didn't answer your phone". This will help convince him that you are genuinely thinking a lot about the things you need to apologize for.
   • Tell your ex about why you did this and let him know what you learned from it.

3. 

   Prove to him that you are faithful. If you and your ex broke up because you were unfaithful, you will face the extremely difficult task of convincing him that you won't cheat again. The exact way you should deal with the problem depends on why you cheated in the beginning, but whatever the reason, it's important to be honest and open with him.
   • If you cheat because you are unhappy in the relationship or feel missing something, be honest about what happened and what you want to do to make sure it doesn't happen once. again.
   • If you cheat because you think you really have feelings for the other person but in reality it's not, let your ex know how wrong you were and tell him what you learned. OK.
   • If you are an obsessive person and are unsure of what motivates you to do so, show your commitment by seeking help from a psychiatrist.
   • If you cheat on revenge or to teach your ex a lesson, tell him how immature you realized it and that you've learned how important it is. resolving conflicts like an adult.

4. 

   Deal with distance issues. If you and your ex broke up because you were unable to maintain a long distance relationship, don't give up hope! Long distance love can be difficult, but it can be quite effective if you keep your spirits up and give the other person the attention he needs.
   • Make a commitment to talk regularly, and make sure you are open and honest with your partner. If you can't be near him, talking is even more important.
   • Fill the person's life with the most trivial stories in your daily life and encourage him to do the same. This will help you feel like you're part of the other person's world.
   • Do your best to keep the distance from making you feel insecure about your relationship, as these suspicions can break your relationship up.
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Part 4 of 4: When should you do this?

1. 

   Make sure you want to get back to your ex for good reason. Do you still love him? If so, it might be worth trying to get him back, by showing him that you still care and believing that things will get better this time. Sometimes breaking up gives both of them time to realize that, more than anything, they want to be together again. However, if you have any other reason to get back with your ex, re-evaluate whether it is a good idea to try to heal a relationship.
   • For example, if you want to get back with him because you feel lonely without him, that's not a compelling enough reason to reunite. The feeling of loneliness will fade over time.
   • If you want to get back to him because you feel jealous at the thought of him being with someone else, think again before trying to get back together. It's okay to be jealous after a breakup, and that feeling will pass.

   

   Lisa Shield

   Marriage and Love Specialist Lisa Shield is a marriage and love specialist based in Los Angeles. She has a master's degree in psychiatry and is a life and love coach with more than 17 years of experience. The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times and Cosmopolitan have written about Lisa.

   

   Lisa Shield
   Specialist in Marriage and Love

   Spend time apart to get a better understanding of the relationship. Often people feel anxious about entering another relationship after they break up because they don't know what caused the harm in the past. Sit back and reflect on your relationship so you can move on and create new and more positive relationships!

2. 

   Think carefully if he has already started another relationship. If your ex-boyfriend has started dating someone else, treat him as a restricted target. Don't be a girl who won't let go of your ex when he moves on. If he is happy with the other person, you may end up hurting him, his new girlfriend, and yourself by trying to get in the way.

3. 

   Stop trying to get your ex back if the relationship is harmful or violent. You may feel temporarily lonely or even bored by being alone after the end of a troubled relationship, but try to get past those feelings instead of going back to your ex. your. Unsustainable relationships will tend to be based on negative traits that usually won't go away. Resist your desire to reunite when you know that you would be better off without him. advertisement

Advice

• Don't overdo it if you know he's not interested in you, you'll just waste your time, and worse still, you may turn yourself into a fool.
• Smile every time you accidentally meet him, let him know that you still like him and that you are happy to see him.
• If you want to say something, say it honestly because it will mean much more to him. But never become too arrogant or demanding.
• Don't cling to him. Don't call or text him all the time. This will make you seem too hopeless. Give him space so he can do what he wants.
• Don't do anything you know he doesn't like just to get his attention. This will only push him further.
• Never try to make him jealous. This will backfire on you. It's like showing him you've gotten through and if he's the one who broke up with you, he'll be glad you moved on.
• It's better to admit your mistakes. You will need to forgive yourself for the part of the breakup, then go on to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say something you didn't mean to, calm down as quickly as possible and sincerely apologize. Sorry, there is nothing to be inferior to or lose their dignity. On the contrary, it exhibits strength and a good personality. But when you apologize, make sure you mean it. An untrue apology is much worse than not apologizing.
• As you talk, talk about the things he likes and things you like. It shows that you like him enough to take care of his likes and dislikes. And that you trust enough to confide in him.
• If he tries to deceive his current girlfriend into getting with you, "REFUSE" him forcefully and seriously. This will show him that you respect yourself, and that he will probably respect you more than ever.
• If you focus your attention on spending time with friends or pursuing a new hobby, you'll have less time to miss your ex, which can help you avoid Unexpected difficulties of resuming your old relationship just because you feel lonely.