Author:
Monica Porter
Date Of Creation:
22 March 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Keeping a phone conversation with your girlfriend can be tricky, especially if you're not used to talking on the phone for an extended period of time. It can be difficult to learn how to respond without visual cues like facial expressions and body language, or to think about a conversation topic when you feel like you don't have much to say. However, chatting with your girlfriend is not a worrying experience. In fact, with a bit of information and a good attitude, you'll find yourself looking forward to it.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Search for a topic to chat with
Ask many questions. This is the most important part of maintaining a conversation with anyone, from your girlfriend, to your grandfather, or the neighbor's kid. The general rule of thumb is that people like to talk about themselves, and if you open this door, most people will come in. Try to ask open-ended questions, and stay away from questions with yes or no answers. The idea here is to ask about things that will naturally guide you into the story, not to rush to ask her an interview question.
- Inquire about her day. This is a fairly obvious question to begin with. When asked "how are you today?" Many of us will automatically reply "Yes, thank you" without even thinking about it. It won't lead you anywhere. Instead, try something more specific, like “Did you do anything interesting today?”, Or “Did you get to the company in time before the storm started this morning ? ”. It might not get you up to anything particularly enticing, but it should make it easier for you both to initiate a conversation.
- Ask about common interests and people you both know. This is a great way to introduce a topic you both can discuss and still ask as a question. Try to ask her what she thinks about the latest episode of the TV show you both like, whether she read about a recent interview with a writer you both love, or watch something. similarly no.
- Ask for advice and help. It's important to listen sympathetically to your girlfriend and comfort her when she is sad, but if she feels like you never needed her help, she will begin to feel the same. feel like I'm a burden. No one wants to date a robot that has no emotions and never needs help. Don't make it unnecessary, but if you're struggling with something, don't hesitate to become weak and ask her for advice or acknowledgment.
- Ask when she is 7 years old, what she dreams of doing. This is a somewhat unusual question. It will show her that you are interested in learning more about her and will give you some fresh perspectives.
Share your day's story. If something particularly funny or interesting happened to you that day, let her know about it. It is easy to over-complain when it comes to what happened during the day, so be sure not to just complain.
Set up a discussion plan. Think about fun activities you can do together during the week. If you already have a plan in mind, talk about your excitement about going to a certain concert, or mention the review you have read about the play you are about to see. This method will also keep her excited, and make her feel as if she is a valuable part of your life.
Share your goals and aspirations. You wouldn't want to dominate the conversation, but no one would like to date someone who doesn't have ambitions. Tell her some of your hopes and dreams.
Chat. This should only be a small part of your conversation, and you need to stay away from anything too brutal or personal, but it can become an easy backup plan if you don't know what to say. . People sometimes find it hard to resist falling in love with gossip.
Ask more about the story. Encouraging her to talk more about what she just mentioned is one way of showing concern. It will also increase the benefits you get from a particular theme, so you don't have to change the theme right away. advertisement
Method 2 of 3: Listen sympathetically
Try to understand her. Empathic listening is also known as "active listening", or "responsive listening". It refers to a way of listening and responding only to try to understand who is talking to you. This is probably the most important communication skill you can cultivate. Not only does it make the conversation easy and natural with your girlfriend, it also makes her feel like she's really seen and heard, increasing her trust in you. , and bring you closer together.
Focus on her. In a healthy relationship, you both need equal conversation space. Meaning that sometimes, either of you needs more attention and support than your opponent. A sympathetic listener will be willing to allow the other to take over the conversation when they need it, without inserting his own personal ego.
Sincere attention. You can't fake this, so don't try to act like that. It is easy to get lost in thinking about what to say that you forget to listen. This action will destroy empathy. Allow her to say what she needs, while at the same time, listen without interrupting.
Respond in an open, nonjudgmental way, showing that you are listening. Usually, it can be as simple as telling her, “That was really difficult. I know how important your dog is to you ”. It will let her know you are listening and that you sympathize with her, while still giving her space to continue sharing.
Repeat her feelings. If she has just told you a story about an argument with her friends, avoid saying something like, “Your friend is like a fool. They do not know how to appreciate my wonderful person ”. This may sound like a word of support, but the truth is that she loves her friends, and your harsh judgment of them will affect you. Try to respond like, "It seems like I feel really offended by the way they talk to me." It will acknowledge the feeling she is having without blaming or giving advice when she doesn't need it.
Encourage her to continue. Use phrases like "Tell me more", "I want to hear more about it", "How did it make you feel?", Or "What did you do then?" to encourage her to keep sharing. advertisement
Method 3 of 3: Become supportive
Ask about the things she mentioned earlier. This method shows her that you really notice the things she shares with you, and that you care about the things that are important to her. Try asking something like, "Is your boss less irritable today?", Or "Is your mother feeling better?", Or "Have you finished reading a book you like?"
Avoid providing solutions unless she tells you to. Men often see their problem presentation as a pathway to a solution. On the contrary, many women prefer to seek sympathy rather than a practical solution. When your girlfriend tells you about a problem she's having, your first instinct will be to come up with a solution. You should avoid this. Maybe she just wanted to vent. If she needs advice, she will ask you. But right now the most suitable assumption was that she really just wanted to be understood.
Prove that you understand her feelings. This may not be appropriate in all situations, but sometimes sharing a story about a time when you experienced something similar helps you validate her experience and get her to feel less lonely. However, this should not be prolonged. You don't want to overwhelm her or make the story revolve around you.
Avoid denying her feelings. Never say “I'm overreacting”, “Don't worry too much”, “I'll feel better tomorrow”, “It's not that bad”, or “There's no point. but you must be sad ”. Whether or not you feel her emotional response is appropriate, it won't change the feeling she is experiencing. Don't downplay or diminish her emotions, don't always ask for reasonableness. Emotions aren't something that makes sense, and people who are disappointed don't always make sense. You can expect to be treated with respect, but don't say she is acting unreasonable, or suggest a more reasonable resolution. After this, you will have time dedicated to it. Now, your job is to listen. advertisement
Advice
- Expect her to care about your feelings as well. Remember that maintaining the conversation, or helping her, is not your own responsibility. She needs the same effort as you. If not, you should seek to bring them up without accusing it. Use “you” statements, and focus on your feelings. Try to say, “Sometimes, I feel too much pressure to keep a conversation with you. Have you ever had this feeling? ”, Or“ I have the feeling that I've been working hard to be sympathetic lately. Do you mind when I let go of some of the troubles I'm worried about in my heart? ". If she doesn't want to talk about your concerns, you might want to consider whether or not the relationship is healthy.
- Consider another conversation method. Some people get nervous while talking on the phone. If you feel the same way, or if you suspect she might have this, you should politely suggest changing your phone chat with video chat, texting, instant messaging, or whatever. any other means more comfortable. Make it clear that you are not shying away from talking to her, but that you think you might be able to communicate better with her in a different way.
- Stay away from long conversations. If either of you is sad or having a problem, you can talk for a while. In general, though, you should try to end the story while it's still going smoothly. Don't wait until you both have no topic to talk about and get caught up in the awkward silence before you find an excuse to hang up. Remember that you still need to have something to talk about in person.
- End the conversation as smoothly as possible. You don't want to ruin your efforts.
- Phrases like "Poor Girl" can sound weird and make you feel like her parents. Stay away from phrases your parents use often; It will feel odd.
